Is everyone wierd or is it just me?

April 26, 2009 7:40 PM

I'm interested in studying Psychology. But I've noticed changes in my friends attitudes towards me ever since I've told them I'm interested in the field. They seem more distant and secretive, as if I'm analyzing them all the time. Am I just paranoid? Now I'm pondering if a life as a Psychologist would be fulfilling or even purposeful. What would a life as a Psyhologist be like?
posted by jakubsnm to society & culture (16 answers total)

Have you taken to armchair diagnoses? Trying to help them with problems they don't want help with? That may have something to do with it, especially if you're saying it's all your friends, not just one or two in particular.
posted by liketitanic at 7:52 PM on April 26, 2009

This may or may not apply to you, but it will certainly apply to some people that you encounter:

A lot of college or grad students can't get out of their chosen field in conversation. People who have taken Psych 101 will go on an obnoxious advice-giving-phase, law students will be overly formalistic in problem-solving, anthropology majors won't shut up about culture, english majors try to deconstruct the simplest things. While it's totally understandable because of relatively limited life experience and finally being an expert on something, it is a major pain the ass. Don't be that guy.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:52 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

I had the same reaction when I switched from Engineering to Psych as an undergrad. I had to develop a whole new set of friends, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Although I work in a school setting I still get some of those "oh, you can read my mind?" comments when I tell people what I do. If you're really interested then get out and meet some people who are doing it. It's a very broad field with a lot of different options for what you can do.
posted by Zebtron at 7:58 PM on April 26, 2009

What area of psychology are you interested in? Research? Therapy? Being able to explain to your friends what your interests in psychology are helps immensely with the "are you reading my mind right now?" nonsense. Most people have a hazy notion of what psychology is to begin with. The way this question is phrased, I'm not sure you have a solid hold on what psychology actually is, either.
posted by logicpunk at 8:01 PM on April 26, 2009

I can't say much about life as a psychologist but I have several friends who have undergraduate psychologist degrees who are "out of the closet" about it, that is who do not conceal that they've taken lots of courses on psychology, and they have not reported the sorts of reactions you mention.

Indeed, I have never heard of a psychologist being "in the closet" on their subject of study or profession. Also I personally would not be more suspicious of a psychologist trying to be analytical of others; experience has lead me to believe that they certainly aren't the only ones doing it and they aren't even especially good at it compared to, say, some salesmen I've met, or people from other walks of life.

It's possible that your friends are unusual in some way. For example, Scientologists have a doctrinal hatred of psychiatry.

It also seems possible that you yourself have begun acting differently. Have you started vocally speculating all the time about the psychological states of others or openly distrusting what other people say in favor of theories about ulterior or unconscious motives? Or treated people the way liketitanic mentions? This isn't in my experience the way a psychologist actually behaves but it might produce the sort of reactions you're seeing.
posted by XMLicious at 8:04 PM on April 26, 2009

Whatever your intentions, a lot of people are in psychology because it doesn't have a lot of hard quantitative classes. It's kind of like a science, but doesn't it's a lot easier to fudge your way through exams. If your friends are major-chauvinists, they may think psych is a cop out.

Personally, I think our species understanding of our own mind's is extremely limited, and the application of science-y methods is very often cargo cultish. If you want to be an academic in the field, really advance understanding, for for it. If it's just a major for you, I'd do something else.
posted by phrontist at 8:10 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

To engage in what others have warned you against.... I think you're projecting on your friends. You think you have secret awesome insight into the human psyche after your two psych classes, and therefore people SHOULD be suspicious of you. This makes you notice their behavior that conforms with what your mindset it (a little confirmation bias). The great thing about psych is that even if you deny this, I'll claim it's all subconscious.

I love psych, but it's not an inherently fabulous profession or anything. Psychology is no more meaningful than any other field if you don't feel passionate about it. I assume you're thinking clinical psych is the only kind of psych... in which case, take a wide range of classes in methodology and cognitive/neuro psych classes to get a better appreciation of what psychologists do. (If you're in it because of what phrontist says, then just go away. Psych needs methodologists and people unafraid of stats)

Keep in mind the oft-repeated but somehow not universally known truth-- there are very few jobs open to people with bachelor's degrees directly related to psych. To be any kind of counselor will require at least a masters. All the really fun stuff requires a PhD.
posted by parkerjackson at 8:14 PM on April 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

I studied psych and found the easiest way to dispell myths about the idea I was invading their minds was to talk sincerely and honestly about ACTUAL psychology (as I experienced it). If someone made a comment, I would reply:

"You know, therapy and abnormal psychology isn't all there is to the subject and that's not my area of expertise. I tend to do more research: I read studies, write questionnaires, talk about ethics and statistics and analyze data. It's not all that glamorous as it's modeled on hard sciences so it's rather structured."
posted by cranberrymonger at 8:19 PM on April 26, 2009

You think you have secret awesome insight into the human psyche after your two psych classes, and therefore people SHOULD be suspicious of you.

Yes, this. And if that's what your after, insight into the human psyche, or in to specific human psyches, I don't think majoring in psych will get you there, because I don't think they've got it. But if you approach the subject with humility, motivated by a genuine desire to help people, good things could happen.
posted by phrontist at 8:45 PM on April 26, 2009

In situations like these I tend to always believe that it is ME seeing things differently. You can't change your friends, no matter how much you understand psychology. Try to always apply what you learn towards yourself first, and hopefully this will make it easier to deal.
posted by saxamo at 8:59 PM on April 26, 2009

Now I'm pondering if a life as a Psychologist would be fulfilling or even purposeful.

This is kind of a huge red flag. My thought is that if you do not KNOW that it is going to be fulfilling and purposeful for you, please don't do it. A life in psychology (even if it isn't clinical/counseling) means a life that *directly* affects other people. If you are not totally into that responsibility and role, it's not a good choice.
posted by so_gracefully at 10:16 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm with Phrontist. It is widely perceived as a soft option, at least among science folks. All very well for some people, but a terrible waste for someone you consider intelligent.

When I was an undergrad in Bio, a guy in our lab, that everyone thought had potential to be a superstar, suddenly decided he was wasting his youth and switched his major to Psychology. It was like he had a terminal disease. He was pitied.
posted by Methylviolet at 10:21 PM on April 26, 2009

I remember in college when my Best Friend A told my Best Friend B that he was a Psych major. B laughed in his face. She said that the only reason people became Psych majors was to figure themselves out. (I myself was a Psych minor and from some of the people in my classes, B may not have been completely wrong)

This probably isn't what's happening here. Depending on what your group of friends are interested in, the 'soft science' horror is a fair bet. Or even flipped, a science horror to a bunch of liberal arts majors. But you could use the above as a way to defuse tension.

And for the record, Best Friend A now has his masters, and is a very successful therapist working with children. He's well respected in his community and has a wide circle of friends. It's one degree you never have to worry about being 'purposeful.'
posted by Caravantea at 5:06 AM on April 27, 2009

This is kind of a huge red flag. My thought is that if you do not KNOW that it is going to be fulfilling and purposeful for you, please don't do it. A life in psychology (even if it isn't clinical/counseling) means a life that *directly* affects other people. If you are not totally into that responsibility and role, it's not a good choice.

Only a lucky few people in life go through college dead set on their major. The rest have to live through college doing what college was meant for: exploring. If I lived as you're advising back then I'd be crying in a corner, cursing myself for not making up my mind so easily.
posted by spamguy at 6:30 AM on April 27, 2009

Maybe they're picking up on your enthusiasm. Something similar happens to lots of premeds and medical students. They start out knowing the basics much better than their peers and like to talk about it. Somewhere around 2nd / 3rd year they realize how little they know and how complex it all is. They also start thinking of much more experienced people as belonging to their peer group. Then they shut up and stop offering 'helpful' advice.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 7:56 AM on April 27, 2009

To put Robot's point in graphical form see PhD Comics.

And I contend that there's some oversimplification of psych in this thread. Yes, I agree that some areas of psych are much too soft. However, there is important, technical, difficult work to be done in cognitive, neuro, and quantitative psych that needs smart people with quant skills. As long as smart people are steered away from psych, this will never change and we'll continue to know not very much about why people do what they do. That seems like an important topic worth the time and energy of smart people.
posted by parkerjackson at 4:57 PM on April 27, 2009 [2 favorites]