How much do you pay a Buddhist officiant?

April 17, 2009 11:15 AM

How much should of a donation should we give to the Buddhist temple for our wedding service?

My fiance and I are being married by a Buddhist monk in June. He will be officiating the ceremony and is officially marrying us (in the legal sense).

The ceremony is not in the temple and we are not members of the temple that the monks are associated with.

Concerning payment, they said that we should make a donation. When pressed a little bit for an amount, they told us, "however much you are comfortable with."

The crux of my question is: How much do you give a Buddhist monk for doing your wedding?

We live in the Chicago area and for reference, the rates I've seen for professional officiants range from $300-600, with some churches asking as much as $700. We are nowhere near affluent, but I absolutely want to give them what is appropriate and useful.

Thank you.

posted by bobbyno to religion & philosophy (5 comments total)

FWIW, the usual stipend for a Catholic priest (or deacon) is around $100.
posted by jquinby at 11:29 AM on April 17

Since it sounds like you specifically chose a Buddhist monk to officiate, I'm going to assume you have some passing knowledge of Buddhism. I have some passing knowledge of Buddhism, and the answer you received, ie "however much you are comfortable with" is *exactly* what I'd expect a Buddhist monk to say (and it left me chuckling).

And that's *exactly* how you should come up with the donation amount. Literally, how much is it worth to you? Knowing that how much you donate affects the remainder of your wedding budget, how much are you willing to spend?

In my Zen sangha community where I participate in retreats and such, we are reminded to donate the amount that feels comfortable to us for an event (every experience can be turned into a spiritual exercise), and not what we think we should pay, or what others usually pay, but what specifically seems "right" to us. And you go from there. Because it really is about where a person is spiritually and also practically, in terms of income. Only you can do the calculation.

It sounds like a wonderful practice opportunity for you to share with the person you're going to marry. Good luck, and congratulations!
posted by Pocahontas at 12:02 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]

Wow. Thank you for taking the time to help!
posted by bobbyno at 12:11 PM on April 17

In addition to a monetary payment, consider making a fruit or other vegetarian food donation. My Zen teacher always recommended bringing a bag full of apples or oranges as a donation when we visited a temple.
posted by mandapanda at 1:12 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]

I think Pocahontas has the right answer; that's certainly the advice I've been given in the context of insight meditation. It's reassuring to think that it's very likely that you will NOT be judged for how much you give - really. Buddhist monks work hard at that.

I think it's a great idea to give some fruit or something like that to the temple! I wouldn't give them anything that requires cooking or tends to go bad very quickly - temples tend to have a set cooking schedule - but tasty luxuries like fresh fruit are likely to be a popular gift!
posted by Cygnet at 2:46 PM on April 17