Can I get a witness? How 'bout an opinion?

April 15, 2009 8:10 PM

We're trying to come up with a baby boy name we both like. It has been a challenge. I have always loved the name Christian. My husband doesn't like it because of the obvious association, even though we were both raised Christian. He says he likes the way the name sounds, but dislikes the association, even though he believes the association is a positive one.

But I never really felt a strong affiliation between the religion and the name. I have known quite a few men named Christian and I have never immediately (or perhaps ever) thought of the religious aspect. It was just their name.

Mr. Murrey has never known a man named Christian so he can't relate to my ambivalence over the affiliation. But he is worried that naming our boy Christian would make his life more difficult if he grew up and decided to be something other than Christian. I figure he can go by Chris if that is the case. He is also worried about potential teasing...I can't speak to that at all.

If it is relevant, neither of us are very "religious" or attend church, but I would consider myself to be a christian.

Anyone out there named Christian who can shed some light on being so named? Or does anyone else have an opinion on naming a son Christian? Also, can you think of any names that sound like Christian since we both really like the sound of it?

I am not determined to change his mind if he is dead set against it, but I thought I would go for some outside opinions and insight.

Thanks!

posted by murrey to society & culture (101 comments total)

What about Tristan? Sounds sort of similar, but without the religious association.
posted by charmcityblues at 8:15 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]

If I met a boy/man named Christian I would assume that his family was at least nominally oriented towards a Christian framework of values. What if your son grows up to have very different values than that? What if he marries someone whose religion is markedly non-Christian? Is that going to be a challenge for him? Does it matter to you?
posted by kch at 8:16 PM on April 15

I've always felt really sorry for guys named Christian. If they aren't Christian it seems really weird and if they ARE Christian it seems even weirder.
posted by small_ruminant at 8:17 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]

Seconding small_ruminant. I actually have two friends named Christian who have changed their names (one goes by his middle name, the other goes by another name entirely) in order to avoid this.
posted by decathecting at 8:18 PM on April 15

I think it would be very hard to escape the associations of the name. It's a nice-sounding name, but I can't imagine not assuming that someone's background was pretty strongly Christian if they were given the name.

It's not like it means anything else.
posted by Miko at 8:19 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

I've met people named Christian without immediately making the connection. But you know who would spend oodles of time thinking (and over thinking) about the connection? Your son. Depending on your perspective that could be good or bad, but my personal opinion is that names should be at least somewhat connotation free.

(not that any of them really are, all names mean something, but the word Christian is definitely a loaded one)
posted by ian1977 at 8:19 PM on April 15

I don't have the same associations with the name Christian that kch and small_ruminant do, but I can see their point. I was also going to suggest Tristan or maybe Christer.
posted by diamondsky at 8:19 PM on April 15

Patrick is a good name :-)
posted by patnok at 8:20 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

Though I just realized that -- duh! -- Christer might have the same connotation.
posted by diamondsky at 8:20 PM on April 15

kch: We are nominally oriented towards the christian framework of values. I assume our son will be too. Neither of us would care if baby boy grew up to be a non-christian though or married someone who was not christian. I don't know if that would be a challenge for him...guess that's the question. I just don't know.
posted by murrey at 8:21 PM on April 15

Why not call him Christopher? (Also... there's a bajillion names out there... I'm sure you and and Mr murrey can find one you both like?)
posted by Kololo at 8:26 PM on April 15

I like the name and don't think of it as a handicap at all. I don't really jump to the religious associations. I might be apt to think that you were Northern European or something like that but I wouldn't think you were necessarily pro-Christian, the religion.
Tristan, I don't like.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 8:26 PM on April 15

I don't always make the association between the name and Christianity...but I did have a student named Christian who directed a lot of ire toward Christians in general. I think he had a love/hate relationship with his name; he pretended to see the humor in the situation, but also felt oppressed by having that name.
posted by hellogoodbye at 8:27 PM on April 15

How about Crispin? By the time he's grown up, Crispin Glover will probably be long forgotten, and it's a cool name.
posted by bink at 8:29 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]

I guess it really depends on some personal or perhaps cultural context because I would never assume a concrete association of the name Christian with familial or individual Christianity - I mean, obviously I recognize that this is its origin as a name, it is also the origin of Christina, for example. To me it's just a not particularly uncommon given name nowadays. There is a Christian in my family (a cousin, Canadian, my family is religious but that branch not particularly so and I certainly never associated his name as being particularly religious, his family is not about obvious outward religiosity at all), the other Christian I've known was of Finnish extraction and seemed to be about as agnostic as they come and he always went by his full given name. I'm really surprised by the responses here.
posted by nanojath at 8:30 PM on April 15

(The derivation of Christopher is also strictly religious. Seriously, you people are weird).
posted by nanojath at 8:32 PM on April 15

There aren't enough Quentins.
posted by flabdablet at 8:38 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

I too was going to suggest Tristan.
posted by Neofelis at 8:39 PM on April 15

I have alerted my own Christian to the existence of this thread, hopefully he'll pop in soon.
posted by HopperFan at 8:41 PM on April 15

I know a LOT of little boys named Christian, if that helps your decision. I never really thought of it as being terribly religious, but I think in the Catholic schools around here there's at least one per grade, although I think there's only a couple in my kids' small public school. In the same year, two of my friends named their babies Christian Alexander. I guess being more popular will also separate it from the religious overtones, since it won't really stand out terribly much. (22 on the boys' list.)
posted by artychoke at 8:44 PM on April 15

"If I met a boy/man named Christian I would assume that his family was at least nominally oriented towards a Christian framework of values."

I would not think this, but I grew up knowing a couple of guys named Christian who were more than likely NOT from families with a religious framework of core values - ie Christian Slater, for one.
posted by HopperFan at 8:45 PM on April 15

I've known many men named Christian, and they were from the US, Spain, France, and Peru. I think two are Catholic and the others atheist or agnostic, but come from Christian upbringings. I never once associated their names with the faith, mostly because I associate their names with their faces and personalities more than anything. I don't think it's a huge risk, but by the same token, it is loaded, as several mefites have pointed out here. It's your kid that's going to have to deal with it, but that's also the adventure, isn't it? You never know if someone is going to love or hate their name, and you never know if they are going to grow into it or not. You may meet this kid and decide that he looks like a Roger. You never know. But I would be open to other possibilities, as you mentioned, and maybe have some back-ups once that kid comes screaming and kicking into the wide world.

Good luck!
posted by cachondeo45 at 8:47 PM on April 15

I have one friend named Christian and he carries it really well. He's a neo-dadaist who wore a rubber chicken on his head the first time we met, so perhaps that's what it takes to pull it off.

My vote's for Tristan. I've always loved that name.
posted by scody at 8:48 PM on April 15

I have a similar situation with my name, and it's never bothered me. People are going to make wrong assumptions about you based on your name and a million other things about you. It can't be avoided. Actually, having a name that isn't in complete harmony with who I am kind of makes the name feel more mine, in a weird way. That may say more about me than the name, though.

On the other hand, you don't want to risk one of you regretting the name choice later. You should probably table Christian and look for something that neither of you has these types of reservations about. I think if you at least try, and you don't come up with anything, you may be able to revisit Christian later and he may realize he doesn't feel so strongly about its negatives. Sometimes you have to stop thinking about something for a bit before you can really think about it rationally. Or you may find something you both like even more.
posted by lampoil at 8:53 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

I like Tristan too...as well as Étienne which I have always thought was a very cool name.

I wouldn't want a name that implied that I subscribed to any particular belief system.
posted by crinklebat at 8:58 PM on April 15

You really shouldn't seek outside opinions on things like this that can only and should only be determined by you and your partner's wishes. But since you did, Christian is an awkward name for anyone regardless of their faith. Don't do it.
posted by mds35 at 8:59 PM on April 15

I would never assume a concrete association of the name Christian with familial or individual Christianity ... I'm really surprised by the responses here. ... Seriously, you people are weird.

OK, from now on I'll refer to you by your new nickname: Hindu. That doesn't make you think of any religion, does it?
posted by Jaltcoh at 9:00 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Sebastian sounds vaguely similar too. And sure, lots of names have religious histories. But some more so than others.
posted by barnone at 9:01 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Or just Bastian, which i'm partial to because of The Neverending Story.
posted by Ugh at 9:03 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

Hmm, many of you may think you don't associate the name with the faith, but really, you wouldn't be taken a bit aback by a Jew or a Muslim called, "Christian"?

The Christina I know who converted to Judaism also changed her first name. There are definitely Jewish 'Chris's, at least in the States, and that always strikes me as a bit odd, but not quite as in your face as Christian.

If you're really serious about being open to him choosing other religions, I think I would not choose the name Christian!
posted by Salamandrous at 9:03 PM on April 15

My name is Christina. I'm an atheist (with Catholic parents). I like my name. I think it's nice.

If you guys really like the name, go for it.
posted by cmgonzalez at 9:04 PM on April 15

What about Kristian? It might be Scandinavianally far away enough to make a difference in how the name's perceived.
posted by harperpitt at 9:07 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Don't forget "Chester."
posted by No New Diamonds Please at 9:07 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Karsten/Carsten?
posted by lakeroon at 9:11 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

(The derivation of Christopher is also strictly religious. Seriously, you people are weird).

That is true, technically, but the name is so common that people don't automatically think of the religion when they meet someone named that. Probably because members of Christianity aren't called "Christophers," and it's not referred to as the "Christopher faith."
posted by fructose at 9:14 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]

I know seemingly a dozen Christians. (And a few Kristians.) My neighborhood is largely Italian-American; it's a very common name, moreso than Christopher, even.

Nthing that Christopher is also explicitly Christian, as is Christina. I don't think you should feel that it's any stranger to name your kid Christian than Christopher. (Or Joshua, for that matter.)
posted by desuetude at 9:15 PM on April 15

harperpitt, I was also going to suggest Kristian. I think it might actually make a difference. I knew a lovely gent named Kristian who went to my UU church for a while, and for some reason the association with "christian" never came up for me. And I've had some bad experiences with actual Christians, so for that to happen, there really must be some mental differentiation going on.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:16 PM on April 15

OK, from now on I'll refer to you by your new nickname: Hindu. That doesn't make you think of any religion, does it?

But Hindu is not a common given name in any culture, is my point. Christian is a common European/Scandanavian name. Of course it is a culturally Christian name, but as I said, so are Christina and Christopher. A lot of common European names are of a religious origin and mostly people don't think about it.

you wouldn't be taken a bit aback by a Jew or a Muslim called, "Christian"?

I would figure they were a convert, obviously, but I would also figure somebody named Shlomo who was a Christian was probably a convert too. Or for that matter that someone named Brian who was a Buddhist was (any of which might be wrong, my Buddhist friend Daniel was born and raised, its diverse weird world).

I'm not saying that people don't have this connotation with it, obviously given the response some people do. It isn't there in my social context and I am surprised by how vehement some people are about it.
posted by nanojath at 9:20 PM on April 15

If he grows up to be a drag queen he can obviously go by Sister Christian on stage!

I guess I haven't immediately had religious associations with the couple of Christians I've known, but if you like it for its uniqueness at this point I think I'd be worried about it being too popular thanks to Chrisitans Bale and Slater.
posted by MsMolly at 9:27 PM on April 15

I've made no automatic mental leaps to the Christian religion upon being introduced to the (very few) Christians I know. It's just a name. (I grew up in a Christian, church-going household, fwiw; although I am no longer religious. People who grew up non-religious may be more sensitized to it.)
posted by frobozz at 9:34 PM on April 15

FWIW, I have a close friend whose first name is 'Cristian' and he's a fellow atheist.

I generally think it's unwise to name people anything that has a religious connotation. When's the last time you saw a Muslim named Jew?
posted by kldickson at 9:38 PM on April 15

I just think of Christian Slater. It doesn't sound specifically religious to me.
posted by mdn at 9:50 PM on April 15

My knee-jerk reaction? I associate the name "Christian" with being white, from a small town, and having a limited socioeconomic background. ATVs, paintball, 4H club, deer hunting with Dad.

If that's the kind of lifestyle you're planning for him, it's absolutely perfect.
Otherwise, not so much.
posted by aquafortis at 9:51 PM on April 15

The only person named Christian I have ever met and known was a female. I liked her despite the name, but she had a southern accent and her name was "Christian" so I assumed she hated Gays and was ultra conservative, even having never asked her about those things one way or the other

Am I a horribly prejudiced person? Probably, but so are a million other people out there.

(Full disclosure: probably a large contributing factor to my biases towards her was because she was dating our boss who WAS proudly ultra conservative and hated gays... and also he was a blatant racist. In fact, everyone I worked with at that place was blatantly racist which probably also contributed to my negative prejudices about all of them... and it was part of the reason I quit. But point is, the name tacitly sealed my assumptions about her in particular.)
posted by DetonatedManiac at 9:59 PM on April 15

Patrick is a good name :-)
Seconding that -- I have one.

It wasn't my first choice though; the then Mr. Violet did not like my first choice, and was on fire for 'Patrick,' which I liked OK, so we went with that. If your husband dislikes 'Christian', it really doesn't matter if the religious denotation is a big deal for other people. If he feels like it would affect, however slightly, how he interacts with his son, compensating for the name... then that's what you don't want. Next.

Another thing: the old semi-objective way to judge whether your kid will be defined by his name is to imagine it attached to different jobs... The Bleeding Ears, featuring Christian Murrey on bass. The Green Party candidate for President, 2048: Christian Murrey. I think at least some jobs -- some kids of people your son might want to become -- would not sound quite right with the name.
posted by Methylviolet at 10:00 PM on April 15

Julian!
posted by Maisie Jay at 10:09 PM on April 15

I only think of those giant plaid pajama-style pants teenagers wore in 1990-- Skidz?-- because that's what the kid named Christian at my Catholic high school wore.

Also, I've yet to be able to deduce someone's religion successfully from their name, in much the same way that having the last name "Collier" doesn't mean I'm a charcoal maker or a miner. The most observant Orthodox Jew I know rejoices in a name so stereotypically Irish it might as well be "Sean O'Malley," for instance.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 10:11 PM on April 15

You have complete control at this point in time what you name and call your child. You will never have any control over what people think of that name or if they want to shorten it to Chris or whatever. I advise BOTH of you being really comfortable with whatever name you give your son as well as comfortable with all the possible shortened versions. When I was younger, my parents did not like me being called John. But that is what they named me. Getting them used to my friends calling me Shooter (for the Gunn) was a whole other issue. You could always ignore that advice and name him Christian James for example and call him CJ.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:16 PM on April 15

hm, i meant to add, or Christian Bale... I don't think it's that unusual or "religious" of a name, and no one thinks Slater or Bale are particular christian. But maybe they are particularly weird ? I've known several women named Kristian or Christian or (not sure how they spelled it) and it never occurred to me to associate it with jesus any more than christina. I haven't known men personally that I can remember.
posted by mdn at 10:16 PM on April 15

"If that's the kind of lifestyle you're planning for him, it's absolutely perfect.
Otherwise, not so much."

That's silly - it's not like they're choosing the middle name of Wayne.

The questions here are:

1. Will "naming our boy Christian would make his life more difficult if he grew up and decided to be something other than Christian?"

No. I'm sure you'll raise him to be self-confident and able to make such decisions without worrying about something small like a moniker standing in his way. He may feel like using a shortened version of his name, using his middle name, or even changing his name entirely. So what?

2. He is also worried about potential teasing.

It doesn't matter what you name him, kids will figure out a way to tease him about it. I might be more worried if you were choosing a name like "Bertie" or "Beaver," but this seems fine.

It's a nice name.
posted by HopperFan at 10:19 PM on April 15

DetonatedManiac: "The only person named Christian I have ever met and known was a female. I liked her despite the name, but she had a southern accent and her name was "Christian" so I assumed she hated Gays and was ultra conservative, even having never asked her about those things one way or the other."

Yeah, I would too. Also what aquafortis said. Just like the name Trinity. A girl at my ex-church named her kid that and it's just obvious she did it because it's a church thing.

I also generally don't like word names, like Hope, Faith, Charity, etc. The way I illustrate my point on that is to say, instead of naming your kid Chase, Trace, or Ga(u)ge, why not name him Pursuit, Draw, or Meter? So why Christian? Why not Pentecost? Or Baptist?
posted by IndigoRain at 10:21 PM on April 15

Christian, and call him Chris? Or at least leave that option open should he choose to go by that. I've come across a Christian or two, and mostly didn't think they were any more likely to be Christian than any other American person of a similar background. So, usually pretty likely, but I wouldn't be shocked if they weren't.
posted by MadamM at 10:30 PM on April 15

where to start. oh, right: my name is Christian. not only am i named Christian, but my
middle name is Noel. not Noh-ehl. just Noel. the last name is Rine, often misheard as
'Ryan', to which i follow with "like the river in Germany but without the 'H'. then the
blank stares.

i only found out why they named me this a few years ago. whilst in the wooomb, during the holidays, my folks were watching a Christmas special hosted by Andy Williams. at some point he introduced his son, Christian. according to my father, they thought it was a nice name. my mother does not recollect this moment. she said they just thought it was an original name.

my opinion of the name is a love/hate thing. it's my name. "what to you want to be called?
do you go by Chris?" NO. my name is Christian. just the way it is. only my dad and
grandmothers ever called me Chris. i like that name far less... to me Chris sounds too
feminine.

arrr. (scratches self)

and yet, many problems beset the young Christian, generally arising from school. on the
first day of first grade, my teacher Mrs.Bill made painted paper plates for each of us to
personalize. mine said Christine Pine. that was the beginning. every year of every grade,
it was Christin, Christina, Christine, or... would you rather be called Chris? No.
Christian's fine. also, many were the jibes of "hey, Christian... ( wait for it... ) are
you a Christian?" hilarity would ensue. okay, i'm lying there. yes, there were also the
'Sister Christian' (38 Special) references. once, when working at a retail store, one of
the assistant managers thought it was hi-larious to yell across the store: MIS-TUH
CHRIS-TIAN!!! ( from Mutiny on the Bounty ).

the religious-type digs got to me the most because WHAT THE...? WHO THE...? it just doesn't make any sense! isn't being a Christian supposed to be a good thing? where's the verbal harassment? ...y e a r s of that crap. i developed a sense of humor and just rolled with it. sometimes i told people "...but my friends call me 'Shinto' " nyuk. nyuk. nyuk. (hey, i was a teenager.)

so despite having the name Christian, i have somehow not become A CHRISTIAN. i consider
myself more of a Rainy Day Unitarian Universalist Zen Buddhist. that pretty much covers my
outlook. i didn't arrive at this attitue because of my name though. it was more from being
compelled to attend their Episcopalian Church ( i know, they're a rough crowd, right? ) and
no one taking the time to talk to me about it. i don't know, maybe it's because i never
asked. or maybe they did and i just don't remember. i mean, blame it on the 8 year old in
me for seeing far more benefit in staying home, sleeping late, playing with Legos and
reading comic books.

nowadays, i go by Christian, X, X-Man, Xtian (more often than not), or any number of silly
pseudonyms i've concocted... like Swindlehorne. again, that's not from name shame. it's
more from my love of comic books and codenames. i have also spent time trying to think of
what i'd name a kid, if it ever came to that. i won't divulge my favorites, but... ok, here
the part where i was going to name some names i think anyone should avoid, but i'd probably just end up offending someone unintentionally.

so. my end conclusion: Christian's a fine name. everybody's got a sob story... but you
might just think of it as a "Boy Named Sue" situation - it builds character. OR you can
name him or her something else, something semi-unique, that feels right to both you and your husband. OR maybe you can break out the ol' Ouija Board and come up with something, i don't know.
you'll both know what's right before anyone else will.
that's the best i have to offer.
posted by swindlehorne at 10:32 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]

I am a girl. My parents have told me since I was little that, were I to have been a boy, they would've named me Christian. I remember always thinking I was glad that I was a girl because at the time I think I associated it with the religion. Later the association went away, but I never knew anybody with the name though until I moved to Chile, where it is a very common name and I've met tons, and no religious thoughts about the name have ever come to mind, and I actually now like it (and the slightly different way its pronounced).

In my mind, hen a name is really popular the specific connections the mind could make are less because its place as a common name seems to take over (ex: christopher?)
posted by nzydarkxj at 10:40 PM on April 15

I've always associated the name with Mutiny on the Bounty, Pitcairn Island, Clark Gable, Marlon Brando, Mel Gibson (before we knew what a jerk he is) and tanned, hunky, bleached blonde guys with lots of wanderlust.

Always thought is was a really cool name.

BUT I can see why many others would automatically associate it with religion, and could likely make your kid uncomfortable.

Nthing Tristan. I think it has a very similiar cool vibe.
posted by marsha56 at 11:00 PM on April 15

I think it's sweet you're so concerned that you'll be torturing your son with a lightning rod of a name, but really, don't worry about it. In the grand scheme of things, Christian is a really innocuous name. If your partner doesn't like the name Christian, then it's a no-go. Fighting over names seems to be one of the joys of pregnancy. It isn't like naming your son Christian is like naming him Hornswaggle Cthulhu. But if your partner doesn't like it, then it's off the list. My dad wanted me to be named Susan. My mom wanted Siobahn. I wound up with neither of those names.

I don't think anyone really would make the religious association unless they themselves have an axe to grind either for or against Christianity as a faith. Really, any name you give your child will have associations for people they meet. You can't focus on that sort of thing. When you name your son, you're giving him a gift - what you hope for him, what you want to let him know makes him special, a memory of a family member or friend you hope he'll be like. If that name happens to be Christian (or, indeed, Hornswaggle Cthulhu - in honour of the film Leprechaun, the WWE wrestler, and Lovecraft), then so be it. It's better to name your kid after something that matters to you (and will matter to him as a result) than to choose some name because you think the syllables sound nice together, or because of what you think other people will think of it.

Trust me, no matter what you name your child, at some point he won't like his name (depending on what names fall in or out of fashion). That's what nicknames are for.
posted by Grrlscout at 11:41 PM on April 15

Kristof
posted by KokuRyu at 11:59 PM on April 15

I have a friend named Kristjan. I thought it was pretty original/cool looking. I know he gets compliments, oohs, and ahs on the spelling of the name. It may be scandinavian ancestry influenced?

If son ever decides against the full name, he can fall back on Kris, which is still pretty cool and easily non-secular.
posted by bradly at 12:28 AM on April 16

We are nominally oriented towards the christian framework of values. I assume our son will be too.

This is not a safe assumption.

But more examples:

I knew a secular "Mohammad" who went by "Mo" and was very embarrassed about his name. I knew a 19-year-old girl (a virgin) from a hardline Baptist background who would never consider having premarital sex because her name was "Virginia": every time someone spoke her name she would be embarrassed if she weren't (then she went and had a sexual relationship and got pregnant immediately -- but the argument that abstinence education increases teenage births is for another time.)

This is not the hive mind's decision; but, please, don't do it.
posted by quarantine at 12:40 AM on April 16

Despite being raised by parents who are both, if anything, anti-church, I think it's a beautiful name and that people will find a way to be assholes if they want to regardless of what your son's name is.
posted by mustard seeds at 1:19 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]

Tangential note - the capital of Norway was previously known as Christiania. (And it's now named Oslo.)
posted by XMLicious at 1:59 AM on April 16

Anecdotally, I had a good friend once who despised his given first name and therefore went by his middle name, Christian. This was made much cooler by the fact that his last name was Blood.
posted by koeselitz at 3:19 AM on April 16

Remember him, mustard seeds?
posted by koeselitz at 3:20 AM on April 16

I can add to the con list, while one doesn't perhaps think of the religious connotations at once, everyone knows that they are there, and currently I know five Christians and three Christinas. All of their names are modified so that we may keep track on which is which in conversation. Christian-Double-U, Tall-Christian, "My-Christian" (indicating he was friends with me first, my other friends say "your-Christian"), Chrissssstian (he has a slight lisp), Christian-H. It's got to stop.
posted by dabitch at 4:03 AM on April 16

My knee-jerk reaction? I associate the name "Christian" with being white, from a small town, and having a limited socioeconomic background. ATVs, paintball, 4H club, deer hunting with Dad.
..If that's the kind of lifestyle you're planning for him, it's absolutely perfect.

That's just bizarre to me. I know two Christians and they are both Northern Europeans. I've never even considered a religious connection anymore than I have for Christian Bale (as previously mentioned). Personally, I think its a fine name. Given that its a common European name (popular in France as well; Also the name in Southern Europe of one of todays greatest athletes)

Heck, I'd commend your worldliness.
posted by vacapinta at 4:21 AM on April 16

People can do all the rationalizing they want about how it's common or it's like "Christopher." But it's not as common as Christopher, which means people will think about it more. And Christopher (which is sure to become "Chris" when spoken) is only derived from "Christ." Christian is the same thing as what you call an adherent of Christianity.

And you know what? If you were going to call him Christopher, you'd need to think of the undeniable Christian connotation too.

Whatever name you give him, you'll need to think about what the connotations are, whether kids might make fun of him for it, etc.

All names have connotations, but most of them don't have a connotation as profoundly meaningful as the one that "Christian" has.
posted by Jaltcoh at 4:42 AM on April 16

It's also odd that people in this thread are citing the Christians they know (I mean people with the name, not adherents of the faith -- see how ambiguous it is?) who are from lots of different countries, apparently as evidence that the name doesn't have a Christian connotation. Not just the US but also France, Spain, Finland, Canada, and Peru. Wow, what diversity! Except ... I recommend looking up these countries in the CIA World Factbook and looking under "religion."
posted by Jaltcoh at 4:49 AM on April 16

At the same school where there was a Christian Blood, I knew another Christian and a Krishna. Neither of them were particularly religious as far as I can tell. I also know a fabulous evolutionary biologist named Mohamed. To a lot of people, the name your parents gave you is just your name, you know.
posted by hydropsyche at 4:52 AM on April 16

I think Christian is a lovely name, associated for me with neither churches nor ATVs. To me, Tristan and its ilk are attractive but a little over the top. We recently found ourselves in a baby-boy-naming situation, and I discovered that while I thought I loved names like Tristan and Phinneas, in the end I found them more suited to someone else's baby.
posted by dreamphone at 4:57 AM on April 16

I work with a Christian and the religious connotations never occured to me. My nephew's middle name is Christian and he's never been baptized, even. A parallel might even be the news presenter Krishnan Guru-Murthy - it's never occured to me to see the Krishna in his name either, even though he's Asian

I don't think for a lot of people it will carry the same connotations as being called Jesus or Mohammed - I would expect someone with one of those names to have a religious background. For the record, any teasing on my name at school centred on my surname (which isn't that unusual) - kids find a way.

I don't know what sort of name 'Christer' is.
posted by mippy at 5:01 AM on April 16

Anyone out there named Christian who can shed some light on being so named?

Guy named Christian here. I was named Christian not for religious reasons, but because my mother, who is somewhat of a feminist, wanted to pass on her last name (Christian) and didn't like the aesthetic of a hyphenated last name. So my full name is [mom's last name] [dead relative from father's side's first name] [dad's last name]. She also thought it was a cool first name, so she probably wouldn't have named me Doppelpoppolus if that was her name instead.

My parents are an agnostic and atheist respectively, and their strategy around religion when raising me was to celebrate Christian holidays in a secular way (we had a tree for Christmas, and colored eggs for Easter, but Jesus was never brought up) and not teach me anything about Christianity (I once heard a Christian children's song that went "Who built the Ark? NO-AH, NO-AH" and misheard it as "Who built the Ark? NO-ONE, NO-ONE." My parents got a kick out of that one). My way of looking at it is that by naming me Christian and then raising me like that they gave me a good sense of irony. They never pushed me towards any kind of religious beliefs I never really bought into the whole Christianity thing and these days I'm an atheist although I do respect all religions.

But he is worried that naming our boy Christian would make his life more difficult if he grew up and decided to be something other than Christian. I figure he can go by Chris if that is the case.

It's not making my life difficult as far as I can tell. I've gone by Chris to my friends and family all of my life, and I use Christian as a more formal name. If people ask me which I prefer I tell them I don't care either way but I call myself Chris. I'm a very informal person so people end up calling me Chris a lot but some people do use Christian and it doesn't sound weird to me.

He is also worried about potential teasing...I can't speak to that at all.

I was a relatively well-liked nerd in school, and although I was teased for various things it was never my name. Overall my name didn't rhyme with any swear words so it didn't work very well for teasing purposes.

If I met a boy/man named Christian I would assume that his family was at least nominally oriented towards a Christian framework of values. What if your son grows up to have very different values than that?

That's odd, because as far as I can tell most people don't assume that with me. Although since I'm a white guy who lives in the US, by the numbers people would probably assume I'm Christian rather than some other religion anyway.

But you know who would spend oodles of time thinking (and over thinking) about the connection? Your son.

I didn't overthink the connection any more than most people overthink their names. When I took Spanish in high school I picked Jesus as my Spanish name to use in class as a joke, other than that I don't remember ever making any decisions based on the connection between my name and the popular religion.

I associate the name "Christian" with being white, from a small town, and having a limited socioeconomic background. ATVs, paintball, 4H club, deer hunting with Dad.

That's just bizarre to me. I know two Christians and they are both Northern Europeans. I've never even considered a religious connection anymore than I have for Christian Bale (as previously mentioned). Personally, I think its a fine name. Given that its a common European name (popular in France as well; Also the name in Southern Europe of one of todays greatest athletes)

These are the two main stereotypes (other than Christian Slater) that I knew of growing up. I never met another kid named Christian until I went to college, and as far as I know in the Midwestern US it was a fairly uncommon name. I was vaguely familiar with it being a country farm boy name and a European name.

my teacher Mrs.Bill made painted paper plates for each of us to
personalize. mine said Christine Pine. that was the beginning. every year of every grade,
it was Christin, Christina, Christine

This also happened to me over and over again in school or any other setting where my name was read off of a list. I know that Chistina/Christine is a relatively popular girls name, but I seriously don't know why people have such a hard time recognizing Christian. Other than an embarrassing moment at the beginning of the school year (in early grades it was embarrassing for me, in later grades it was embarrassing for the teacher) it wasn't much of a problem, although it was the only major negative aspect to my name growing up.

also, many were the jibes of "hey, Christian... ( wait for it... ) are
you a Christian?" hilarity would ensue.

I also got this one a few times in grade school. Kids thought they were incredibly clever for coming up with it. I would say yes (because I was, sort of, I mean why else would I be coloring those egss?) and that would be the end of it.

once, when working at a retail store, one of
the assistant managers thought it was hi-larious to yell across the store: MIS-TUH
CHRIS-TIAN!!! ( from Mutiny on the Bounty ).

A family friend did this constantly when I was a kid, which I hated, but only because he was annoying in general. For a long time I didn't even know what he was referencing, and I still have never seen Mutiny on the Bounty.
posted by burnmp3s at 5:03 AM on April 16 [3 favorites]

Wow! I am surprised by the number and variety of the responses. There have been many other names already rejected (on both sides) but my strong appreciation for the name Christian, coupled with the affiliation concern raised by Mr. Murrey, peaked my curiosity as to how others respond to it. The hive mind more than satisfied that curiosity. Thanks!

I told Mr. Murrey that I posted this and was getting mixed reactions... some similar to his and some similar to mine. Perhaps he will chime in. But I definitely found the strong "don't name him that" responses compelling. I don't want to saddle the boy unnecessarily (and I have deep respect for the wildly-intelligent and thoughtful Mr. Murrey's opinions), so Christian is out.

Thanks for the Tristan recommendation...I like it. Mr. Murrey? Not so much.
posted by murrey at 5:22 AM on April 16

Mr. Murrey here -- while I'm a bit sad to see my honey's favorite name put us at, well, cross purposes (sorry!), I love her dearly for being willing to throw the option out there to the Mefi masses. Thank you fine folks for helping guide us.

So, how about "Siddhartha"? We could call him "Sid" for short?
posted by rleamon at 5:45 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

Please don't name your son Christian when there are so many other handsome names that do not come with the potential for unhelpful connotations. If your son grows up to be a heartfelt Christian he is free to identify himself that way without trumpeting his [parents]’ religion via every school paper or résumé he sends out for the rest of his life.

...And don’t think that some people don’t cringe when they see an otherwise excellent professional résumé for a “Christian” or “Mohammed” or “Shlomo.” I have seen perfect résumés go into the trash, where a “Lance*” “Sarah*” or “Arjun*” would have nailed an interview. …Sure, the hiring partner knows intellectually that the sales rep./lawyer/accountant applicant is probably not a religious zealot--But would our [insert demographic] clients (--what if they’re the religious zealots?--) be confused or uncomfortable? With business struggling, and top-quality résumés on your desk every other morning, WHY even deal with this? Life is hard enough. Why saddle your child with any unnecessary burden just because you like the sound of a name?

*Who might possibly be the most religious zealots of all—but don’t telegraph it.
posted by applemeat at 5:50 AM on April 16

This kind of thing can backfire. I've known nearly as many dudes named Christian that were sleazy hypocrites as I have girls named Angel who were wildly promiscuous.
posted by box at 5:50 AM on April 16

You've already decided, so this is superfluous, but I have a lifelong friend named Christian and I never once thought of the faith associated with him or that name. I like it. Also, he's Greek Orthodox :)
posted by Pax at 6:14 AM on April 16

...And don’t think that some people don’t cringe when they see an otherwise excellent professional résumé for a “Christian” or “Mohammed” or “Shlomo.” I have seen perfect résumés go into the trash, where a “Lance*” “Sarah*” or “Arjun*” would have nailed an interview

To me that sounds completely insane. I personally would not want to work for anyone dumb enough to toss my resume based on my name being Christian, so any company using that level of bigotry in their hiring practices would be doing me a favor.
posted by burnmp3s at 6:30 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

I've known a few Christians, including one I was in a relationship with. I don't think of Christian as a name being any more or any less religous in nature than Christopher, Christine (and variations), David, Saul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Joseph, Mary, Maria, Adam, Eve, Gabriel, Beezelbub (OK kidding with that last one, sorry) or many other biblical names. I think Christian is a perfectly good name.

I'm Australian, and the Christian I was involved with was American. He once told me about an incident that happened while he was waiting tables in a restaurant (somewhere in the US, I forget where but probably in PA). He approached a table to take a couple's order and on seeing his nametag, one of them shouted "You wear the name of the LORD! LET US PRAY!" and they both stood up, held his hands and prayed loudly before settling down and ordering their food. So maybe the name will be treated differently depending on location and local culture. FWIW, Christian said thet left him a VERY generous tip.
posted by goshling at 6:41 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

That's odd, because as far as I can tell most people don't assume that with me. Although since I'm a white guy who lives in the US, by the numbers people would probably assume I'm Christian rather than some other religion anyway.

I do not assume that white men in America are Christian. I'm a white man in America and I'm not Christian.

I do assume that men named Christian at least have a Christian background, and probably are Christian. I assume that Christian Slater has a Christian background, though I don't actually know anything about his life story.

The key phrase is "as far as I can tell." You might not be able to "tell" because people aren't saying it to you. But rest assured, people assume you have a Christian background if you're named Christian.
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:52 AM on April 16

I make no aassumption about someone whose name is Christian, besides the fact that they are obviously not jewish (or muslim, etc.). It's a nice name, and the only people who might have a problem with it are those who are projecting their own faith (or lack thereof) on someone else's name.

Besides, there are very few names that are perfect. Some are too long, some are easily misspelled, some might be vaguely associated with religion, etc. Choosing a name like Christian will not (adversely) affect your child any more than most other names.
posted by Simon Barclay at 6:59 AM on April 16

IMO, you and your hubby are overthinking this. Name the boy Christian Bruce, and just tell people you're Batman fans.
posted by magstheaxe at 6:59 AM on April 16

I do not assume that white men in America are Christian. I'm a white man in America and I'm not Christian.

My point was that the majority of white people in the US are Christian, so we are all to some extent assumed to be Christian by default, just as someone from India might be assumed to be Hindu. You being a white man in America and not being Christian does not disprove this any more than me being named Christian and not being a Christian disproves your theory.

The key phrase is "as far as I can tell." You might not be able to "tell" because people aren't saying it to you. But rest assured, people assume you have a Christian background if you're named Christian.

First of all, the comment I was responding to was specifically talking about "Christian values" which I interpret as meaning things like anti-abortion and anti-gay beliefs, rather than just a vague Christian background. I agree that I don't know for sure what secret assumptions people make about me, but it's usually relatively easy to figure out when people have certain assumptions, and throughout my life I've gathered a lot of circumstantial evidence. For example, when I tell someone that I'm a computer programmer they often assume that I'm good at removing spyware or configuring printers and would like to help them with that (which is incorrect). Or when I tell someone I drive a hybrid car they assume I voted for Obama (which is correct). I know that they make these assumptions by the topics they bring up and the things they say. As for my name and religious assumptions from people who meet me, here are my data points:

- Most people that I meet don't actually know that my name is Christian. If someone shakes my hand and says "Hi I'm Mike" then I say "Hi I'm Chris." Most people assume that my name is Christopher based on that, and it sounds like the religious assumption doesn't exist for Christopher.
- I've had people ask me point blank "Do you celebrate Christmas?" or other kinds of similar questions even though they know that my name is Christian.
- I've never had anyone ask me "Where do you go to church?" or make any similar comment that would suggest that they've assumed I'm a Christian.
- I've never had anyone say anything like "Oh, I assumed you were a Christian based on your name" once they've found out more about me.
posted by burnmp3s at 7:36 AM on April 16

Love the name Christian as well and I don't associate it with Christianity.
I was raised Christian and I have a cousin named Christian and once, when I was about 6 I was like, "Oh... weird, Christian's name is the same as 'Christian'. Hey Mom! Did you know that Christian's name is the same as Christian?" She ignored me and that was it.

My mother planted roses one summer and one was named Christian Dior. That's when I realized that I loved the name. It was strong, yet sexy.
Until like... a minute ago I never wondered if Christian Dior was Christian or if his parents were or if there is any association at all to Christianity.

Name him Christian.
posted by simplethings at 7:44 AM on April 16

If you like Tristan, also consider Trustin. A Dutch friend named her son that. The boy is now a year old. I find it a little silly but she likes it. :-)
posted by Dragonness at 8:04 AM on April 16

Swindlehorn, don't be frustrated with .38 Special; 'Sister Christian' is Night Ranger. Yes, I'm embarrassed to know that sans googling.
posted by December at 8:09 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]

I've known a few Christians, including one I was in a relationship with. I don't think of Christian as a name being any more or any less religous in nature than Christopher, Christine (and variations), David, Saul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Joseph, Mary, Maria, Adam, Eve, Gabriel, Beezelbub (OK kidding with that last one, sorry) or many other biblical names. I think Christian is a perfectly good name.

Both my sister and brother have Biblical names (one old Testament, one New) as did my father. Nobody assumed anything. I think there's a big difference between naming your child 'Christian' and naming him 'Christ'. Would that rule our Christina too?
posted by mippy at 8:57 AM on April 16

A no vote for Tristan. It's pretentious. Like you're trying too hard to be different.

I don't think of right wing religious nuts when I think of Christian.

I think of Ronaldo, Molinaro and Vieri... and Fletcher Christian.


Speaking of footballers, avoid Bastian.
posted by Zambrano at 9:02 AM on April 16

Two comments:

1, People will assume that you and Christian are in fact Christian based on the name.
2, I knew a kid growing up named Christian and he wasn't, and he signed his name xian or xtian.
3, All this name business is serious stuff. I strongly recommend Nymbler.
posted by k8t at 9:18 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]

Also, being around baby circles both in real life and online, Christian is certainly more popular today than Christopher is. I'd say that this is also the case for the current batch of college students that I teach. As far as little girls being named Christina/Kristin/Kiersten/etc.. there are still a ton of them in college (in California), but I haven't met any baby Christ*s online or in real life baby groups.
posted by k8t at 9:26 AM on April 16

My ex-Christian has a nephew called Tristan.

Personally I think Tristan is a terrible name, prententious and evokes images of a prissy little effeminate boy who will probabably die of tuberclosis before he comes of age. Sebastian is almost as bad. My daughter's father has a nephew called Bradley. Every Bradley I've ever met has had some behavioural disorder and are now probably all serial killers.
It's inescapable that certain names will evoke certain stereotypes. You will drive yourself crazy trying to analyse every name to find one that is perfect. Forget what everyone else thinks; go with your own intuition and taste, as long as you don't do anything completely batty like call your kid "Adolf" or "Chlamydia" you & the child will be fine. Some people will always hate your kid's name regardless of what it is. I wasn't given a middle name. Give your child one so they have an easy alternative if they want one.

Remember that this is one of the EASIER problems you'll probably have in raising this child.
posted by goshling at 9:26 AM on April 16 [3 favorites]

Nobody assumed anything.

How do you know?
posted by applemeat at 9:37 AM on April 16

Also, being around baby circles both in real life and online, Christian is certainly more popular today than Christopher is. I'd say that this is also the case for the current batch of college students that I teach.

According to Social Security statistics, they are closer now than they have been in the past, but Christopher is the 6th most popular boys name and Christian is the 22nd most popular boys name. The gap would be much wider in your college students though because through most of the 80s Christopher was ranked around 2nd in popularity and Christian was ranked near 100. Those stats seem correct based on my anecdotal experience as well.

Also, some of my comments are probably coming off as defensive here, and really there's nothing about the name Christian that's substantially better than any of the other suggestions given here or any other name for that matter. But since the question asked was basically "What is it like being named Christian, does it cause any problems?" My answer, having actually been named Christian, is no it doesn't cause problems. I wouldn't want to change my name to Tristan or Quentin or Christopher or any other name, I like the one I have. My name is a part of who I am, and although it doesn't mean much itself it's not something that I'm ashamed of or try to hide from people. I'm sure it's that way for most people though, so I guess the point is that any name will probably be fine, just pick one that you both like.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:20 AM on April 16

How much time do you actually spend thinking about your friends' names? I only think about my friend's name when I'm trying to remember it after I've just met her/him. And after that, I don't care. So I think it's a bit irrational to obsess over this.

That said, we're all a bit irrational sometimes and the most important thing is that you feel good about the decision.
posted by theiconoclast31 at 10:48 AM on April 16

part 2 from one of the Christians ( in name, not religion ).

frankly, i'm just as skeptical towards over-zealous Christians as i am skeptical towards people who overcompensate and exaggerate their negative ideas about over-zealous Christians. make sense? nope. moving on.

thanks to the person ( i am sorry, but i'm a poor back-tracker and don't remember who it was ) who finally revealed to me the truth of THE MAN'S bigoted hiring practices. i've been down so long, down seems like up to me. here, all this time, i thought it was my lack of formal education, lack of focus, wavering self-esteem, poor decision making skills, lethargy, and absence of goals that had been keeping me on the lower rungs of society all these years. turns out, it's because my name is Christian. Occam's safety scissors at work again.

ARGH! well, i have to admit, yes, that may well actually happen, losing a job opportunity because of Brand Identification, but for me though, being originally from central Ohio, i think it's worked to my benefit. it's only later, after the i've accepted a position at some business, that i start in with the sacrilegious jokes and references to Baphomet. you know, once they've found out what a nice guy i am.

the one time i thought that my name might be negatively influencing a situation was during my first relationship. hell, it was just so damn funny, i guess i never took the hurdle seriously. see, she was Jewish. not "hardcore" or Orthodox, but it wasn't until well into adulthood that i realized that i hadn't thoroughly considered whether or not she'd be able to get past the idea of being with, or possibly even married to, a Gentile named Christian. But, by that point, there were so many other differences and mental illnesses coming out to play that it was an all too brief and tardy realization. so i got a great story out of it and a some good moments. during a brief moment of hopefulness we thought we might name a son 'Samson', but something about the story seemed too close to home for me, too fatalistic a burden to place on a kid. maybe Samael might have worked. nothing sassier than an archangel's handle for a moniker.

pertaining to the name Siddhartha --- personally, i prefer Steppenwolf, but that's speaking as one unfamiliar to the bulk of a spiritual inclination to which i claim to have an interest. it's also speaking as one who thought you were referring to the book by Herman Hesse. looking the name up on dictionary.com (very deep and spiritual, i know) i see that name bears a bit of weight too.

go for it! ha! dive in. almost always the Devil's Advocate here. in my humble and honest opinion, i do think it's far better to err on the side of positive intentions and benevolent controversy ( if nothing else the name Christian/Xtian has remained for me a conversation starter! i think we can all agree on that one. ) than to name a kid something non-descript and pedestrian.
no thank you to that.
posted by swindlehorne at 10:50 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

If you do choose to name your son Christian, probably he'll be called Chris by his friends.
posted by ragtimepiano at 10:53 AM on April 16

One more data point.

My name is Christian. I disliked it as a kid, now I don't mind it. It's kind of a badass name, a lot of people think it's cool and sophisticated. I'm more irked about being a Chris, which I find to be kind of weak (maybe because of Family Guy?)

I am adamantly anti-religion. Nobody has ever made assumptions about my religion or lack thereof due to my name, at least not that they've ever shared with me. By the same token, if I meet a person whose last name is Baker I don't expect him to whip out a batch of cookies upon request.
posted by arcanecrowbar at 11:09 AM on April 16

My middle name is Christian and I like the name. You could always use it as a middle name as well, giving your son the choice of whether or not to ever use it.
posted by Thoughtcrime at 11:59 AM on April 16

Totally late to the thread, but I had to add this. One of my best friends is named Christian and he is not in the least bit christian. When the internet age arrived, he started spelling his name on line as "Xian" and now that's just how everybody spells it everywhere, still pronounced "Christian" or sometimes "Chin." When I'm addressing him verbally now, I think "Xian" not "Christian."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:04 PM on April 16

I know people whose families avoided this issue by using the Scandinavian Kristjan or Kristjana (girl). The pronounciation is roughly the same (if you want) but the spelling creates some opportunities. However, if you're going with a name like that, you'd want to be in circles where people take the effort to learn how to spell or read names that are not purely anglo.
posted by acoutu at 1:07 PM on April 16

This thread is reminding me of the time I made up a Jewish fictional character for a school project and named him Christian for the lulz.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:22 PM on April 16

You could spell it Kristjan. I knew a guy named Kristjan and people didn't make jokes about his name at all. Plus it looks aesthetically pleasing written out.
posted by lolichka at 12:37 AM on April 17