Therapy help for polyamorous triad near Waco?
March 25, 2009 9:56 AM Subscribe
How do I find a family therapist/counselor in Waco, TX that can help, rather than judge, my polyamorous relationship?
My partners and I have some thorny issues to work out.
We're all new to polyamory; it fell in our lap and we're still trying to figure out where all the pieces fit together. It has been thrilling, heady, and deeply satisfying, but it has also caused serious problems in which, blinded by love, one or the other of us has neglected providing the support and attention another needs, or is perceived to have done so. Finding appropriate and safe and positive boundaries for ourselves and making sure that we don't inadvertently sacrifice ourselves just because it's what the other people want has been extremely arduous. Worth it, but arduous.
The problem is that my partners and I are stuck in the land of barbecue, pickup trucks, sixty foot tall crosses and megachurches.
I've talked to a few counselors to see if I could establish a relationship and get some help, but so far they've all started with the premise that the polyamorous relationship itself is the problem, that we need to stop pretending we love each other and settle down into a nice 1-1 relationship like, like Adam and Eve!
Internet resources, like the Opening Up website and the Polychromatic provider list, show some poly-positive therapists in other places, like Austin, Dallas, Houston. But those are very far for us.
Any help would be amazing, thank you in advance.
My partners and I have some thorny issues to work out.
We're all new to polyamory; it fell in our lap and we're still trying to figure out where all the pieces fit together. It has been thrilling, heady, and deeply satisfying, but it has also caused serious problems in which, blinded by love, one or the other of us has neglected providing the support and attention another needs, or is perceived to have done so. Finding appropriate and safe and positive boundaries for ourselves and making sure that we don't inadvertently sacrifice ourselves just because it's what the other people want has been extremely arduous. Worth it, but arduous.
The problem is that my partners and I are stuck in the land of barbecue, pickup trucks, sixty foot tall crosses and megachurches.
I've talked to a few counselors to see if I could establish a relationship and get some help, but so far they've all started with the premise that the polyamorous relationship itself is the problem, that we need to stop pretending we love each other and settle down into a nice 1-1 relationship like, like Adam and Eve!
Internet resources, like the Opening Up website and the Polychromatic provider list, show some poly-positive therapists in other places, like Austin, Dallas, Houston. But those are very far for us.
Any help would be amazing, thank you in advance.
Try the Kink Aware Professionals list. Even if you're not into BDSM, someone who is "informed about the diversity of consensual, adult sexuality" would probably be more tolerant of a polyamorous relationship.
posted by CrunchyFrog at 11:10 AM on March 25, 2009
posted by CrunchyFrog at 11:10 AM on March 25, 2009
I don't know your circumstances, but Austin isn't too far away if you want to search that database and don't find anything in Waco.
posted by Pants! at 11:31 AM on March 25, 2009
posted by Pants! at 11:31 AM on March 25, 2009
Did you call the poly-friendly therapists you found in Austin, Dallas, and Houston? Maybe one can recommend someone in Waco for you, or perhaps their work sometimes brings them closer to your location.
posted by juliplease at 12:06 PM on March 25, 2009
posted by juliplease at 12:06 PM on March 25, 2009
Seconding calling the folks in Austin and the other, larger metro areas-- perhaps they can work out an arrangement with you where they see you once a month or so and touch base by phone or email the rest of the time. Also, have you considered heading to slightly more urban areas to attend munches and get some outside social support, as well as professional help? I'm sure there's got to be a poly or kink munch in Austin that would give you guys more exposure to polyfolk and more chances to discuss negotiation strategies and communication with a wider range of people.
Good luck-- explicitly poly-friendly therapists seem to be somewhat rarer birds than kink-friendly ones.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 1:01 PM on March 25, 2009
Good luck-- explicitly poly-friendly therapists seem to be somewhat rarer birds than kink-friendly ones.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 1:01 PM on March 25, 2009
Try calling Montrose Counseling Center in Houston for a referral.
posted by lalalana at 1:19 PM on March 28, 2009
posted by lalalana at 1:19 PM on March 28, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you have the numbers of therapists in Austin, etc., you might call them and ask whether they know anyone in the Waco area who could help you.
Good luck.
posted by LOLAttorney2009 at 11:09 AM on March 25, 2009