No Good Deed Goes UnPunished Department
January 5, 2009 5:22 PM
Have I done enough to help this person? I rented a spare room to a distant relative; now the situation has gone sour (and very smelly).
Backstory: In November I rented a 'studio room' in my house to a distant relative who had fallen on hard times. (Lost her job, about to be evicted.) I did not know this person at all until I was told of her situation by my mother. So I met "Amy", and with some misgivings offered her the room, mainly because it was a charitable act my father would have done. We agreed to try things out for a couple months.
I rent my own house, but the Landlord allows me to sublet this room. There is a 'no pets' clause in my lease, but I got approval for Amy to keep a couple birds she said she had. She signed a month-to-month rental agreement with me for $400, all utilties included.
The Problem: Amy didn't have just 2 birds, she has 2 medium parrots and 16 parakeets. Amy is also a slob/hoarder or something. This small room (9x11) is almost completely filled by the bird cages. There is crap (bird stuff, old newspapers, garbage, etc) all over the floor. She literally lives in squalor, and the stench from the birds filters up through the forced air heat ducts into my living space directly above. It is horrid.
I gave her official 30 days notice on Dec. 15, but told her she could stay if she got rid of the birds. To her that's impossible- the birds are her companions like a pet cat or dog.
Jan 15 is soon, and 'Amy' has not found other lodging. She has minimal $$, no steady job, and lousy credit (This started when she 'borrowed' $2000 from my Mom,and she did not pay the Dec. or Jan. rent) If I evict her she will surely be homeless. She has no other relations in the area. I assume I will have to go to the courts to have her evicted.
I've never been a landlord before, and I do want to help this person, but I think I've done all I can. So, I need some affirmation or alternatives, please.
Backstory: In November I rented a 'studio room' in my house to a distant relative who had fallen on hard times. (Lost her job, about to be evicted.) I did not know this person at all until I was told of her situation by my mother. So I met "Amy", and with some misgivings offered her the room, mainly because it was a charitable act my father would have done. We agreed to try things out for a couple months.
I rent my own house, but the Landlord allows me to sublet this room. There is a 'no pets' clause in my lease, but I got approval for Amy to keep a couple birds she said she had. She signed a month-to-month rental agreement with me for $400, all utilties included.
The Problem: Amy didn't have just 2 birds, she has 2 medium parrots and 16 parakeets. Amy is also a slob/hoarder or something. This small room (9x11) is almost completely filled by the bird cages. There is crap (bird stuff, old newspapers, garbage, etc) all over the floor. She literally lives in squalor, and the stench from the birds filters up through the forced air heat ducts into my living space directly above. It is horrid.
I gave her official 30 days notice on Dec. 15, but told her she could stay if she got rid of the birds. To her that's impossible- the birds are her companions like a pet cat or dog.
Jan 15 is soon, and 'Amy' has not found other lodging. She has minimal $$, no steady job, and lousy credit (This started when she 'borrowed' $2000 from my Mom,and she did not pay the Dec. or Jan. rent) If I evict her she will surely be homeless. She has no other relations in the area. I assume I will have to go to the courts to have her evicted.
I've never been a landlord before, and I do want to help this person, but I think I've done all I can. So, I need some affirmation or alternatives, please.
From my perspective:
This is not a house you owned. Frankly, with the stench and crap you could very well be endangering your lease with your landlord. If you were my tenant and were subletting to someone like "Amy," I'd evict the both of you in short order if "Amy" weren't gone within a few hours after she's legally required to do so.
Affirmation given. DTMFA. :)
posted by fireoyster at 5:30 PM on January 5, 2009
This is not a house you owned. Frankly, with the stench and crap you could very well be endangering your lease with your landlord. If you were my tenant and were subletting to someone like "Amy," I'd evict the both of you in short order if "Amy" weren't gone within a few hours after she's legally required to do so.
Affirmation given. DTMFA. :)
posted by fireoyster at 5:30 PM on January 5, 2009
I think you are in a hell of a spot here. Your only hope in the short run is to find here alternative housing yourself. Search for her, but do not DO NOT sign anything on her behalf. You will never see the $400 per month she owes you, but that is a gift to a fallen relative. Take a tax deduction of a bad debt expense if you itemize.
Who is going to rent a room to someone who has 10+ birds, no visible means of income and crappy credit? Maybe another relative who feels sorry.
Good luck.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:31 PM on January 5, 2009
Who is going to rent a room to someone who has 10+ birds, no visible means of income and crappy credit? Maybe another relative who feels sorry.
Good luck.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:31 PM on January 5, 2009
Affirmed. I feel for both of you - without, of course. knowing Amy's situation, specifically whether this is just a string of horrendous bad luck, whether she is mentally ill, or whether she's just one of those people who seems unable to get their act together and is forever needing someone else to look after her. Eighteen birds seems utterly ridiculous for someone in the latter situation. I wonder if they were something to do with her eviction from her previous residence? Is she elderly?
But seriously: you have given a home to someone for over two months, for which you have not been adequately compensated (since she didn't pay Dec or Jan rent); her presence makes it uncomfortable for you to live in your own home since the smell is affecting you; and finally, having a much larger number of birds in the home than was agreed to is potentially putting your own lease at risk. Those are three very good reasons to get rid of her. I understand the urge to help someone who is obviously needy, but in the long run you may both be out of a home if she or the birds don't go.
If you want to help more you could see whether there is a shelter that will take the birds, or someone else your mother might know who's willing to look after at least a few of them. You could also find out whether there are non-profits sho could advise her, or human refuges where people in Amy's situation can go (I doubt it, but I know nothing about support services in the US). But you've already been more than generous and have given her as much as you can, without taking her on as a full-time responsibility. And frankly, given what you've outlined here, I would definitely NOT be doing that.
posted by andraste at 5:42 PM on January 5, 2009
But seriously: you have given a home to someone for over two months, for which you have not been adequately compensated (since she didn't pay Dec or Jan rent); her presence makes it uncomfortable for you to live in your own home since the smell is affecting you; and finally, having a much larger number of birds in the home than was agreed to is potentially putting your own lease at risk. Those are three very good reasons to get rid of her. I understand the urge to help someone who is obviously needy, but in the long run you may both be out of a home if she or the birds don't go.
If you want to help more you could see whether there is a shelter that will take the birds, or someone else your mother might know who's willing to look after at least a few of them. You could also find out whether there are non-profits sho could advise her, or human refuges where people in Amy's situation can go (I doubt it, but I know nothing about support services in the US). But you've already been more than generous and have given her as much as you can, without taking her on as a full-time responsibility. And frankly, given what you've outlined here, I would definitely NOT be doing that.
posted by andraste at 5:42 PM on January 5, 2009
I would evict her before your own landlord gets wind of this and evicts you. You've done enough. Charity shouldn't have to go so far as to endanger your health and living situation.
posted by meerkatty at 5:43 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by meerkatty at 5:43 PM on January 5, 2009
Also, don't imagine that you are all stands between this woman and homelessness. That's an error of thinking. On the one hand, you did far more than you were obliged to do by postponing her housing crisis for a couple of months; on the other hand, to truly rescue her from a chaotic lifestyle that's near-inevitably heading towards homelessness, you'd need to do far more than just give her a room. If you've time and inclination to help point her in the direction of the kind of help that people in her situation need, then that's great (though not an obligation at all), but in the long run you're not necessarily even helping her by just keeping her situation on hold.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 5:50 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 5:50 PM on January 5, 2009
You're not going to make her homeless. Her refusal to pay you, maintain a clean residence, get a job, find somewhere else to stay, contact her family in other areas, or give away the birds is going to make her homeless. She has numerous reasonable options she can follow if she doesn't want to be homeless. Don't enable her by letting her stay any longer.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:51 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:51 PM on January 5, 2009
("all THAT stands between this woman and homelessness", I obviously meant to say)
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 5:53 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 5:53 PM on January 5, 2009
Here is a listing of avian rescue organizations; there are a couple listed near San Francisco. Maybe someone there will have a suggestion for you. Good luck.
posted by amtho at 5:59 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by amtho at 5:59 PM on January 5, 2009
Also, don't imagine that you are all stands between this woman and homelessness. That's an error of thinking. On the one hand, you did far more than you were obliged to do by postponing her housing crisis for a couple of months; on the other hand, to truly rescue her from a chaotic lifestyle that's near-inevitably heading towards homelessness, you'd need to do far more than just give her a room. If you've time and inclination to help point her in the direction of the kind of help that people in her situation need, then that's great (though not an obligation at all), but in the long run you're not necessarily even helping her by just keeping her situation on hold.
Spot on- either she has mental issues, or is unmotivated. Presumably you aren't in a position to help with either. People like this never have to face their own realities because there is always some family member guilting some other family member into "helping".
Is perpetuating whatever her problem is really helping her? I say no. You did your part and more, send her packing.
posted by gjc at 6:42 PM on January 5, 2009
Spot on- either she has mental issues, or is unmotivated. Presumably you aren't in a position to help with either. People like this never have to face their own realities because there is always some family member guilting some other family member into "helping".
Is perpetuating whatever her problem is really helping her? I say no. You did your part and more, send her packing.
posted by gjc at 6:42 PM on January 5, 2009
This is going to sound hateful, but if you can't get her out, the landlord can. It's just a matter of having the locks changed when she isn't there and renting a locker or storage unit for 30 days, paying cash for it, and leaving the envelope with the address of the storage area taped to the front door with her name on it. You can also print out information for all the local women's shelters and include that in the envelope, along with perhaps a $20 bill for cab fare or public transportation.
If she won't leave the house voluntarily on the agreed-upon date (Jan 15), the landlord has the right to have the sheriff evict her for non-payment of rent. Asking your landlord for help before you get evicted YOURSELF might be the best option if you can't stomach the sneak-attack lockout.
Accept that you're going to have to eat the unpaid rent. Let it go. Some people can't be helped; you tried. Stop now before she owes you thousands and you lose your home and your sanity.
Avian rescue for the birds.
Sorry, but I've had to kick people out before that were hell-bent on draining me financially and emotionally and did everything to dig in their heels and stay... "Amy" sounds like she is mentally ill and, though she may have good intentions, she is not a functional adult. You cannot save her from herself and you cannot be her caretaker as it poses a financial risk to you (at the very least, to your living situation).
Even if she doesn't find a place to stay, advise her than on January 15 she will no longer have access to the room under any circumstances. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND, EVEN IF SHE GIVES YOU THE RENT.
Good luck and stay strong.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 7:06 PM on January 5, 2009
If she won't leave the house voluntarily on the agreed-upon date (Jan 15), the landlord has the right to have the sheriff evict her for non-payment of rent. Asking your landlord for help before you get evicted YOURSELF might be the best option if you can't stomach the sneak-attack lockout.
Accept that you're going to have to eat the unpaid rent. Let it go. Some people can't be helped; you tried. Stop now before she owes you thousands and you lose your home and your sanity.
Avian rescue for the birds.
Sorry, but I've had to kick people out before that were hell-bent on draining me financially and emotionally and did everything to dig in their heels and stay... "Amy" sounds like she is mentally ill and, though she may have good intentions, she is not a functional adult. You cannot save her from herself and you cannot be her caretaker as it poses a financial risk to you (at the very least, to your living situation).
Even if she doesn't find a place to stay, advise her than on January 15 she will no longer have access to the room under any circumstances. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND, EVEN IF SHE GIVES YOU THE RENT.
Good luck and stay strong.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 7:06 PM on January 5, 2009
Not only is Amy taking undue advantage of you, she could cause your landlord to be cited for municipal code violations.
Many cities restrict the number of household pets that can be kept at one residence. For example, Livermore's code (See 6.20.030), requires that individuals who wish to keep more than six pets at their premises first apply for and be granted animal fancier permits.
An excellent animal organization to contact for assistance in temporarily or permanently finding shelter for Amy's birds is Bestfriends.org. Bestfriends has community networks which help individuals find homes for animals in need. Here's a link to Bestfriends' California chapter.
As for Amy, she may be able to get help finding a residence and work through The Women's Daytime Drop-In Center, located in Berkeley.
posted by terranova at 7:13 PM on January 5, 2009
Many cities restrict the number of household pets that can be kept at one residence. For example, Livermore's code (See 6.20.030), requires that individuals who wish to keep more than six pets at their premises first apply for and be granted animal fancier permits.
An excellent animal organization to contact for assistance in temporarily or permanently finding shelter for Amy's birds is Bestfriends.org. Bestfriends has community networks which help individuals find homes for animals in need. Here's a link to Bestfriends' California chapter.
As for Amy, she may be able to get help finding a residence and work through The Women's Daytime Drop-In Center, located in Berkeley.
posted by terranova at 7:13 PM on January 5, 2009
Please get legal advice before you try Unicorn's plan. In this case you're the landlord, for example. And generally tenants can't just be locked out. But TINLA, which you need.
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:03 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:03 PM on January 5, 2009
Thank you to Game Warden & Solon for clarifying the essence of her predicament- namely, that it is her's and not mine. And thanks to Terranova and Amtho for the services I can point her to.
posted by TDIpod at 10:22 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by TDIpod at 10:22 PM on January 5, 2009
I didn't mean to give actual legal advice and should have explicitly stated that in my answer. OP states she gave 30 days' official notice (which means it's in writing) on a month-to-month lease and I suggested this person work directly with the property's owner to accomplish the eviction, which I assume would be by legal means according to the agreement signed by all parties. Of course, I don't know what the actual lease states as far as giving eviction notice goes, so I apologize if what I suggested was unrealistic. My answer was based on the understanding that the OP knew the lease constraints and had the legal ability to evict on the date stated in the official eviction notice.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:26 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:26 PM on January 5, 2009
She just got $2000 from your mom, right? And she hasn't been paying her rent, yet she lives in squalor with a ton of birds... I hate to say it, but I think she's up to something. If I was down on my luck (and I think this goes for all normal people, really) and a family member helped me out I would be looking for a job first thing. Sounds like that's not happening, so she must either be incapable of finding a job or not want to.
Neither one is really your problem, but if it's because she's incapable of finding a job then she needs a living facility of some sort. If it's because she doesn't want to, well... it does seem perhaps she just doesn't feel like it. Wouldn't she have at least given you part of the 2k for rent if she was at all of sane mind?
Not PC, I know, but I think she's either crazy or an addict. Or maybe both.
Evict her. She's not your child. Another family member can help. Tell your landlord that you're doing it and explain why to the extent that you feel comfortable. Clean the room. Live life again.
posted by big open mouth at 10:33 PM on January 5, 2009
Neither one is really your problem, but if it's because she's incapable of finding a job then she needs a living facility of some sort. If it's because she doesn't want to, well... it does seem perhaps she just doesn't feel like it. Wouldn't she have at least given you part of the 2k for rent if she was at all of sane mind?
Not PC, I know, but I think she's either crazy or an addict. Or maybe both.
Evict her. She's not your child. Another family member can help. Tell your landlord that you're doing it and explain why to the extent that you feel comfortable. Clean the room. Live life again.
posted by big open mouth at 10:33 PM on January 5, 2009
Check out the Nolo guides for legal stuff about DIY evictions. They have ones that are specific to California: 1, 2.
posted by salvia at 11:19 PM on January 5, 2009
posted by salvia at 11:19 PM on January 5, 2009
Oh and tell your mother "...thanks." :)
posted by mu~ha~ha~ha~har at 1:16 AM on January 6, 2009
posted by mu~ha~ha~ha~har at 1:16 AM on January 6, 2009
18 birds in a 9 x 11 room sounds like a major health-code violation.
posted by zippy at 1:23 AM on January 6, 2009
posted by zippy at 1:23 AM on January 6, 2009
I'd suggest calling a couple of avian rescue folks yourself. They may have suggestions for how to deal with "pet hoarders" -- it sounds like Amy might be one. They might at least be able to refer you to someone else.
Based solely on what you wrote, I get the impression that Amy might not call by herself.
posted by amtho at 4:02 AM on January 6, 2009
Based solely on what you wrote, I get the impression that Amy might not call by herself.
posted by amtho at 4:02 AM on January 6, 2009
You may even want to report her to the local animal control authorities. They may be able to apply the pressure needed to get her to surrender her birds to rescue. If you report her, tell them that she's about to be evicted.
posted by onhazier at 6:11 AM on January 6, 2009
posted by onhazier at 6:11 AM on January 6, 2009
Your Mom got you involved, enlist her help. She should talk to Amy's parents and any other family members and try to get Amy some help. It does sound like she's a hoarder, and she may need mental health care.
You've done your part to be kind, but she needs serious assistance. If there's a social services clearinghouse or hotline, call them and ask them what agency might exist that could help Amy.
posted by theora55 at 7:05 AM on January 6, 2009
You've done your part to be kind, but she needs serious assistance. If there's a social services clearinghouse or hotline, call them and ask them what agency might exist that could help Amy.
posted by theora55 at 7:05 AM on January 6, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by TDIpod at 5:24 PM on January 5, 2009