One foot on the "right" side of the track, one foot on the "wrong" side of the track.
October 7, 2008 1:09 PM Subscribe
Socializing “across the tracks”. My father grew up poor, and is now working a blue-collar job. My mother grew up upper-middle class (except the first 8-9 years), went to college, and is working in a decent profession. Because of their backgrounds, they’re really different people. Being their daughter, I take on the characteristics of both. As a result, I cannot fully identify with neither middle-class or working-class (or even poor) people. Nor, am I fully accepted by either group.
posted by sixcolors to Society & Culture (76 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
This is kind of “part-two” of last week’s question, I was not comfortable bringing this up. There were many many replies telling me to cool it on trying to find similarities when it came to dating prospects. There were also some questions asking me why I was so desperate to find things in common with people. The answer is, a few reasons, one of them being that I am trying to compensate for what I believe is a fundamental difference (and insecurity!) in the way I was raised and things I experienced in life. I come across some people who are like myself, they are “bi-class”. But, the majority of people I come across, fit way more neatly in one category or another. In other words, no matter which way I go, I will be “dating up” or “dating down”, or befriending up or down.
I read a book last summer called “Crossing the Tracks for Love”. It was a great book. It was very informative, and gave a lot of advice how to get along with a partner (and their family/friends) from another class. There was one problem I had with the book, a lot of the advice was kind of on the superficial side. It only offered “band-aid” solutions, like imitating your partner’s habits which were influenced by their upbringing. Well, that’s fine in short-term, but if that’s your only strategy, you will lose your own identity.
For those who have grown up like me, what did you do to put people with different economic backgrounds at ease, without completely changing yourself? This question also includes those who have came from only one “class”, but is dating someone of a different background. How did you guys wind up together?