March 2019 Archives
March 31
Tinkering on a Local Copy of a Website?
How do I download a local copy of a web app (?) such that I can tinker with it? Can I then host this modified version of a website somewhere so that I can use it? [more inside]
DIY muscle roller?
I recently went to a chiropractor who used one of these on me for myofascial release. I'd like to get one for home, but they're expensive, and since it's basically just a steel cylinder (4" x 20", 44 lbs), I'm wondering if I could somehow engineer one myself. Is that something I could find locally (Portland OR), maybe at a machine shop or something?
Can we ask our marriage counselor to change the way she bills us?
Our marriage counselor gives both me and my wife receipts for 50% of our therapy sessions. We want to know if it would be ok to ask if she would bill a higher percentage to my wife due to our insurance coverage. [more inside]
L-Methylfolate vs folic acid
What dose of l-Methylfolate is equivalent to 400 mcg of folic acid? [more inside]
Help me find a new purse!
I bought a crossbody purse with an integrated wallet a year or so ago. I turn out to really like the integrated wallet and the fold-over strap with the big turn clasp, but the purse started failing almost immediately and now is pretty ratty and barely functional. I've been searching for a new purse, but no luck finding one with the integrated easy-access wallet feature. Any suggestions of useful search terms or where to look? (Or specific purses you love?) [more inside]
Videos of women speaking English with Cuban accents
Looking to hear women, preferably Afro-Latina, speaking English with a Cuban accent. Please link me to videos? Thanks!
Hide and Seek and Closed Captioning
Some DVDs have it, some don't. Some list having it, but don't, and some don't list it, but do.
Or maybe my Blu-Ray player is hiding it from me? I don't know, do you? [more inside]
Apartment Ventilation Code Filter
Can someone help me understand the ventilation codes for an apartment building in Michigan? [more inside]
Wedding etiquette - I think you forgot to invite my girlfriend.
My cousin (S) is getting married in two months. On the invitation, it's addressed to me and my son (he's 12). My girlfriend (K) and I don't live together but I know she didn't get an invite as she would have told me (and I doubt S would have K's address). When I go to their wedding website to RSVP, it only has options for myself and my son. [more inside]
Recommendations for a textbook on orchestral instruments?
Recommendations for a textbook on orchestral instruments to prepare for the ABRSM music theory exam (Grade 4 / Grade 5) ?
This would be used to prepare specifically for the questions on orchestral instruments and orchestral scores, as a supplement to the Eric Taylor textbooks. [more inside]
How are music box movements tuned - chromatic or scale?
I would like to buy a music box movement and install a custom made cylinder into it. I've got the tune, I've got a plan for making a custom cylinder, but I'm getting hung up on making sure the movement I get will be able to play it. [more inside]
Tips for managing lower back while walking — not before or after
My lower back hurts when I walk any moderate distance above a snail's pace, and I have plenty of strategies for stretches and exercises I can do to help prevent it, but I'm struggling for what to do in the moment, where I'm walking my dog and I'm a half mile from home and my back hurts so bad I just want to lay down on the sidewalk. What can I during during these walks that might help me keep going? [more inside]
How to handle new feelings for a friend?
How to approach feelings for a friend of mine, with a small wrench thrown in? [more inside]
Need IT Recruiter in San Jose/Silicon Valley for frank discussion
Seeking an experienced, knowledgeable tech recruiter in 408 area code with whom to have a heart-to-heart about whether I should continue to look for work given my disability. [more inside]
Out-of-operation vehicle tune up - what's essential?
I now have a car that has been sitting idle for 3+ years (for stupid reasons), with only very intermittent use (moved around once a year). Fluids were not drained prior to the idle period. This is in a non-freezing climate. It's a hybrid. Obviously the main battery is dead. When I take it in to get tuned up, what should the priorities be? I'd like to get it in shape to smog it, re-register it, and sell it; I don't want to sink an infinite amount of cash into it, but don't want it to be a dangerous vehicle. KBB value is around $3.5k.
How do you get things done when depression is crushing?
I have bipolar NOS, panic disorder, OCD, and like 11 other anxiety-related disorders. I know my depression, and this depression is like 80+% medication side effect. I've gotten off that medication. I'm in therapy and have medication management with a psychiatric nurse practitioner - I have an appointment with her in 5 weeks. But right this second, I have work that needs doing. [more inside]
I am a financial idiot. Help me be less of a financial idiot.
I've never had enough money to cover my basic expenses before in my adult life. My father passed away about a year and a half ago and left me a chunk of money - not a hideously huge amount, but exponentially more than I've ever had in my life. I am utterly lost about what to do next that's best for my own financial situation, and I am sufficiently lost enough that I'm not even sure a financial advisor is right for me. Help me figure out my next steps? [more inside]
South TX barbecue sauce?
I am from San Antonio, TX. I actually dislike barbecue, but I want to make a complete meal of it for my SO as a cultural exercise. Can you personally recommend a regionally appropriate barbecue sauce recipe? The kind I want is thin and not too sweet, with a lot of vinegar. At home it's a condiment to put on the meat once it's done, not for basting or whatever. Any ideas? Thank you.
best and cheapest way for a kid to make 3D model of ocean layers?
My kid wants to make a 3D model of the layers of the ocean. She wants the layers to be appropriately colored, maybe have little fish suspended in them, etc. What material should she use? [more inside]
March 30
Third Baby Wheel
My spouse and I decided that we need to step up our Date Night and relationship-strengthening game, in the face of a lot of mounting life stress and transitions. Why wait until Friday, or until we can get a sitter?
What are some good/fun/effective/romantic bonding activities we can do at home or cheapily and easily around town with our very busy baby in tow?
How do I gracefully handle unhappiness in a 3 mo. old job?
About three months ago, I was recruited for and accepted a position as a full-time product manager at a great company. Cool! Unfortunately, the job itself bores me to tears, and I can tell I'm not passionate about it - to the point that I think I'm going to seek alternate employment. How do I best handle the possibility of jumping ship after only a few months? [more inside]
How to make a pivot to UX/UI from retail in the bay area?
What books, online resources, meet ups or mentorship programs would you recommend that could be helpful for me? [more inside]
Possible maiden aunt and coping with the bitterness
I am the oldest of four siblings, all three married last year and now my sister-in-law has given birth and my sister is over 3 months pregnant... I am struggling to cope.. I have had previous long relationships but they haven't worked out... I like my new family I guess but I am on the sidelines (it's all weddings and babies etc) and I don't want to be the weird childless aunt.... I would appreciate personal stories or stories to read.... [more inside]
Branching out with grape leaves
Stuffed grape leaves are one of my favourite foods. What other (vegetarian) things can I do with jarred grape leaves? [more inside]
Prepping veggies in advance
I'm trying to eat healthier by adding more vegetables to my diet. One thing that's helped is preparing some vegetables on the weekend that I can throw into different things. For instance, I really like having some veggies I can throw into a pan with my scrambled eggs. What are some variations so I don't get bored? [more inside]
Local Digital Photo Organization with Face Recognition?
I have recently acquired a box full of family photos that go back several generations, and would like to scan them in and keep track of who is in them. My dream for this project is a piece of software that can take a folder of images and apply some facial recognition to them (even if it's not 100% perfect) and then let me apply identifying tags on a per-photo basis so that I can, for example, show all photos of my great-grandmother, or all photos of people with a particular last name. If it doesn't recognize the face, I would be able to identify it manually. Does such a piece of software exist? Windows 10 would be preferred, though I do have access to a Mac if that's the only option.
I repaired my sink. Help me get my landlord to pay for it.
We rent our apartment directly from the owners (a married couple), no property management company involved. The owners do most of their own maintenance, but unfortunately are not very competent. We fixed a sink that they said could not be made to work, and we'd like to deduct the costs from our rent. How do we approach the conversation? [more inside]
To post-doc or not to post-doc, with some interesting twists
I recently defended my PhD (in Computer Engineering) and while looking for a job, I now find myself torn between two options, both tempting in different ways. This dilemma is a mix of the age-old academia-or-not question and some other considerations. I've perused most of the related questions here and on the Internet more widely, but am still unsure, and I have to decide by Monday, so I'm hoping to get some objective perspective here! [more inside]
Are there NAS systems with removable drives optimized for backups?
I am looking for a backup solution for my freenas server. Backing up to another NAS over Ethernet seems like it would be the most effective way to do so. However, a NAS as a whole is hard to store off-site and most Consumer NAS systems do not seem to allow easily swapping drives all the time. Do you know of any NAS systems that are designed to constantly swap hard-drives for backup purposes? [more inside]
Guatemalan Migration: Violence, Economics or ???
Just visited Guatemala for the first time. I was expecting it to be dangerous, violent and very poor.. In the relatively touristed areas I visited I saw none of this, maybe the opposite, Looking for articles, research, blogs that give political and economic background and antecedent conditions for Guatemalan migration to the US. [more inside]
The value of education
Which do you think would be more valuable and why? Private school (secular) for elementary years or middle/high school years? [more inside]
Breaking up with someone nice, without a "good" reason
I've been seeing a woman for two months, and am starting to lose feelings. Really, though, she hasn't done anything “wrong” (just wrong for me). She has clearly fallen for me, and while she accepts me telling her I'm not quite at the “I love you” stage yet, I've since realized that even though I like her, and am fond of her, I'm just not falling in love with her. How can I resolve this in the gentlest way possible? [more inside]
Short and Long
I want an icon (widget?) on my (android) home screen that toggles Setup -> Display -> Advanced -> Sleep -> 1m / 30 minutes. I can't seem to figure out what to search for in the Play store. Recommendations on a app that enables this? [more inside]
I want him to give up already
Why does Safari keep placing a link to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up in my Frequently Visited sites? [more inside]
A Texan and a Michigander move to Southern California (Inland Empire)...
Mr. Getawaysticks and I are likely moving to the Riverside, CA area in 6-12 months. There is an amazing job opportunity for me that will last a minimum of two years. Please help us with locations to target in our search for a new home! [more inside]
Paris-ready shoes?
My young, fashion-conscious friend will be touring Paris in late spring. She would die of mortification if her walking shoes were smirked at by the locals. They are these.
Can she handle the cobblestones and the chic-pressure?
She's way more fashionista than I, so I told her I would check "on a website where people know things."
Help a tattoo newbie, please.
I have no tattoos, but I am considering getting one. I'm drawn to styles that include fine, thin black lines and tiny dots. How do those hold up over time? [more inside]
What are best practice ways to develop concept art for a tattoo?
I'd like to get a tattoo that is a graphical description of Carl Sagan's famous "We are made of star stuff" quote. I am not at all creatively inclined and would like to pay someone to develop this concept for me before engaging with a tattoo artist. (I have a vague idea along the lines of a super nova that fades into the skin.) I do not know how to find someone to help with this.
beyond the Zentangle
What are some examples of people who became obsessed with drawing particular visual motifs for months or years? [more inside]
Yet another "help me find this garment" question
I spied this screen capture and was immediately obsessed with owning the shirt or dress Kate Bolduan is wearing, or one very much like it. I love the lace raglan sleeves which dress up an otherwise casual looking top; a color instead of white, longer sleeves, or a different lace are all very much acceptable to me. A shirt would be preferable, but I'm even willing to do a dress. That's how obsessed I am. Help?
Yet Another Brexit Travel Question
I've read various AskMefi questions about how travel might be affected if Britain crashes out of the EU without a deal. My understanding is that planes and trains between the UK and the rest of Europe might stop operating, and planes might also be grounded between the UK and the rest of the world. [more inside]
What am I supposed to be doing in therapy?
So what is therapy for, exactly? (Please don't say "whatever you want it to be for".) [more inside]
Please help me not hate my new condo
I'm closing on a newly constructed condo in about 3 weeks, and walked through it for the first time last night. I HATE IT. Please help me to come to peace with it, suggestions welcome. [more inside]
“Why are you leaving your job?”
A few weeks ago I posted an anonymous Ask about my office. Things have gotten worse, and I’ve started applying for—and getting interviews for—other jobs. How do I explain why I’m leaving this job? [more inside]
Inappropriate behaviour from work colleagues in an out of work scenario
I've just started a new job, and my first week has been pretty fun. My colleagues have been pretty good at introducing themselves and seem genuinely interested in me. There is a heavy male contingent in the team.
We had a night out a few days ago and after a few drinks it was clear that a bro culture was prevalent, at least where drink was involved. Casual homophobia and sexism. I can deal with that because I'm a bit of a chameleon socially, but I feel a bit dirty after the fact. At work it has been fine so far, but this extracurricular behaviour has been a bit of a shock. I've not been the subject of the chat, and I humoured them at the time. I don't know if I should just ignore it and avoid nights out or if I should be trying to make a record of poor behaviour or what...
The work we are doing is exciting and really beneficial, so I don't want to fuck it up, but I'm really down on things just now. Does anyone have any related experiences?
March 29
Can the check-valve in my hose bib cause high pressure readings?
I had the main water shutoff and pressure reducing valve at my house replaced yesterday and I'm getting shockingly high pressure readings past the pressure reducing valve. I have a theory this is being caused by the check-valve in the back of my frost-proof hose bib. I can't find any google results or references to back this up. Did I fool myself the first time with the high readings or am I fooling myself the second time by explaining away the readings? Longer version below the fold. [more inside]
Need a French setting for a story
Help me find a good geographical (?) setting for this story I'm writing? [more inside]
A week in San Jose, Costa Rica
We have a spur-of-the-moment week in San Jose, Costa Rica. We have a hotel booked. Can you suggest places to see in San Jose and environs?
Unfortunately we have poor Spanish but are willing to spend a bit to have an interesting experience if MeFites have personal recommendations. We love art, crafts, good food, theater, (but recognize that without Spanish this is likely not viable). We are not beach people - we are city people. We have booked tours to visit Carrillo National Park and Irazu volcano, and expect to be awed. But what about the people who live in San Jose? Where is the human culture? Galleries, museums, craft galleries, restaurants, coffee shops - whatever - please advise!
Grounding a garbage disposal
I'm installing a replacement garbage disposal and found that there is no ground wire running through the conduit to the disposal, just hot and neutral (white and black, no green). The disposal instructions want a ground. [more inside]
Please ID this French beer bottle cap!
A co-worker has a stem cover made from a French beer bottle cap on his bike. He very much wants to know which brand of beer this is. He got it in the south of France several years ago (no further specifics than that).
Here are the photos.
I told him if anybody knew about this, it would be here.
March Madness - who pays for X-rays?
If you were injured in an NCAA tournament and received onsite X-rays (!?), who’s paying for that? The player’s health insurance? Is it in-network or out? Do teams have a separate insurance policy? The tournament? Is the player out co-pays or deductibles? What happens with a serious injury that requires hospitalization? I’m watching basketball and SO curious.
1980s Canadian Food Product quest
Looking for a specific honey-garlic chicken mix that was available in Edmonton during the 1980s. It was used to coat raw chicken, which was then baked, resulting in chicken + honey garlic sauce. [more inside]
Hypoglycemia tips for low-energy, low-appetite vegetarian
A recent blood test showed my blood glucose seriously low, so I am trying to change my diet (which currently contains a lot of coffee, sweets, and meal skipping). Unfortunately I am not very well and not very hungry, which makes preparing and eating food unappealing. What are some hacks to deal with this? Good recipe books? Hypoglycemia podcasts? Low-glycemic snacks or mini meals that can be batch cooked so they are grab and go? I am able to spend some money on this and any advice is appreciated.
This girl is on fire... why is my scapula burning up?
I have had off-and-on for a few years a discomfort near the lower part of my right scapula that feels sort of superficial but not on the outside of the skin, but also not that deep. It's become nearly constant now and is really annoying.
I would like some help identifying the problem (yes, I will see a doctor if it doesn't improve). [more inside]
Changing from grandparenting mindset to parenting mindset; ground rules?
Due to unfortunate circumstances, my husband and I will most likely be granted temporary guardians for our almost 3 y/o granddaughter. She has visited and stayed with us in the past which was all fun and games. But as guardians, we want to establish "house rules" (maybe five - we want to keep it simple) from the start. For example: "toys put away before bedtime". What rules seem reasonable for a 3 year old to comprehend and follow? Any other tips for grandparents becoming de facto parents? [more inside]
How to change from html site to Wordpress site when you have subdomains?
I want to update an old site to Wordpress. It has a few subdomains that I don't want to screw up. The subdomains are sitting in the public_html folder along with the actual website. It's kind of a mess in there and I don't know what to do. [more inside]
Going on safari - should I get a GoPro?
I've got a Canon Powershot SX60 — a semi-pro level point-and-shoot with a 21mm-1365mm lens. I am considering also getting a GoPro Hero7 Black. I'm thinking it'll get better wide angle and better video, and with better image stabilization. Plus it's small. Should I buy one? [more inside]
Where should I post information about rats in need of a home (NYC)?
I am looking for a place to advertise to help find a new home for my pet rat's three baby girls. They are six-month-old hooded fancy rats. How do I find new companion humans for them? Where should I post? I'm in Brooklyn, NYC.
Where do all the shipping containers come from?
What are the supply chains and logistics flows that lead to the apparent surplus of freight shipping containers all over the world, being converted into cafes, shops, small houses, labs, etc? [more inside]
Looking for comfort bicycle recommendations
My wife is in the market for a new bike, and is leaning towards a comfort bicycle. Any brand or model recommendations? [more inside]
Help me make the crowdsourced sentient sculpture of my dreams.
I'm trying to design an interactive outdoor sculpture consisting of two sites placed about half a mile from one another across an open landscape. I'd like each to have microphones and speakers, such that people standing at one site can hear and talk to people standing at the other without having to touch or otherwise activate the technology. Bonus fun: I'm in a remote location with unstable (or at least not-guaranteed) access to cellular or network service. Assume I have access to generator power. Technically speaking, how can I pull this off? [more inside]
Stumped by business jargon
I'm on deadline, editing a commentary for a general-interest publication, and the first sentence includes a phrase that's damn near opaque to me: "cascading value chain." [more inside]
Smoke a joint a day, that’s why they call it joint pain
After a recent conversation with my boyfriend about marijuana and pain relief (him: “... but I don’t HAVE pain every day”) I realized that my weird persistent joint pain is becoming an issue. I talked to a doctor this week who didn’t have much to say; trying to figure out what might be wrong and what to say to the doctor next time. [more inside]
Help me help my back.
I spend a lot of time driving, and I am recovering from messing up my lower back. I want a lumbar support pillow thingy but there are so many to choose from. Do you have a recommendation for me? [more inside]
Windows 7 - moving a window off screen
Normally my work laptop is connected to two monitors, currently I am just running on the laptop. The external monitors are 2k miles away and not available. An application is popping up a window on these non-existent monitors. How do I move it? [more inside]
Awesome ideas for awesome daycare staff
My baby's daycare is celebrating Week of the Young Child with a different theme for each day. Parents are encouraged to come up with ideas to celebrate staff on these themed days. I have some ideas, but I need more! Details below the jump. [more inside]
How to get a cleaning job with too much education but no experience?
I would like to apply for night shift cleaning jobs to supplement my income, but I have multiple degrees and nothing relevant to put on a resume. These jobs require English proficiency and high school education. [more inside]
Hyphenation woes
In this sentence: "...providing audiences with the sharpest, brightest, clearest and most-vivid digital images..." is the hyphenation in "most-vivid" appropriate/necessary? [more inside]
A tactful way to negotiate start date at a new job
I have been interviewing pretty aggressively for a new job and have made it fairly far along in some interviews. But one thing that's *really* important to me is taking some time off between my hell-job and my prospective new job. [more inside]
LaTeX for Bloggers
I'm thinking of writing a blog post that would require a few lines in math notation, i.e. integral signs, powers, Greek letters, etc. How do I do that? [more inside]
Mysterious Smell .....is this possible?
I have a bench that has been exclusively inside --away from any pets--- for over 8 months. It is just now strongly smelling of cat pee. [more inside]
Yet another "what laptop should I buy" question
What laptop should I buy: budget edition. Refurbished, chromebook, something else...? [more inside]
Books like Wild, the Salt Path, Hovel in the Hills?
I enjoy reading non-fiction books about ordinary women doing quite extraordinary things. The books tend to involve persistence in the face of physical and psychological hardship and a pretty severe lack of money. The books should be written in a very down to earth, relatable style. [more inside]
site to site VPNs. I'm confused
I rate myself as fairly technically minded, but one thing over the years that I've never fully wrapped my head around is VPNs. That's the point to point VPN, mind. I've successfully connected up against a VPN provider using a desktop client before.
So what I'd like to do, is effectively make a bridge between my work network and my home network so I can do things like:
ssh into my Raspberry Pis from work
Connect to my Asterisk/FreePBX setup from work
Connect to my work samba shares from home. [more inside]
Virginia rent renewal-notice for private landlord
How much notice do I have to give to my private landlord about not renewing my apartment lease if a timeline is not stated in the lease? [more inside]
March 28
Please help me identify this music video set on a beach
This is for a friend of mine who is being tormented by the memory of this song he cannot find. The video was made prior to 2013. It consists of blurry blue-tinted images of a desolate beach on a cloudy day. The singer is dressed in a casual suit, running around on this foggy beach, alone. The name of the band is that of a project name, not a person's name, but he thinks the project is just one guy. He says the sound is very low-fi, but engineered as so, not a result of low-quality production. The male vocals are very muffled and buried under a torrent of wavy, oceanic sounds. The low-fi graininess sounds as if the music is recorded on old, beat-up cassette tapes, washes of layers of sound. The beat is secondary to the muted and moody distortion. Any guesses?
Can I get a Press Pass when all I have is a blog?
I have this silly bucket-list dream of getting a press pass to a FIFA World Cup. I've set my eyes on the next edition: I want to have access to the "mixed zones", press conferences and press boxes at Qatar 2022. The immediate problem is that I'm not a journalist nor I work for any news outlet or institution. How do I go about getting that press accreditation? [more inside]
Why the credit hit...?
I just paid off a credit card. Then I used a bank Supercheck (2.9% APR for 18 months), to pay off most of another. I figured I'd continue to make the same monthly payments but, with the temporary interest rate, I'd be paying principal instead of interest. Sounds sensible, I thought. I just learned that my credit scores from two agencies went up 21% and 34% because of the hit from the Supercheck. Doesn't the fact that I used that Supercheck to pay off most of another card figure in the calculations?
Thanks for any insight anyone might have.
How to deal with a boss who's making mistakes more often, until I exit?
My current boss is causing issues at work more and more - mostly for me to clean up - and there doesn't seem to be much oversight over him, from his superiors. I'm fed up with it, and don't feel like I can even talk to him without going off. Any tips until I can find work elsewhere? [more inside]
Professionals for small business
I'm starting a small business (just me) and I'd like to hire an accountant and a lawyer in the Boston area. [more inside]
Where are all the cool kids finding drum'n bass mixes these days?
Back in the day (say, early 2000s) when P2P services like Napster, LimeWire, Kazaa, and the like were ascendant you could find amazing live drum 'n bass DJ sets. I have recently gotten nostalgic for this era of music and see on Spotify that many of the artists I followed back then (Andy C, Ed Rush + Optical, DJ Hype, Dom + Roland) are still pretty active and making new music, but DnB isn't that fun to listen to song by song. Where do folks find live mixes these days?
Is being a mercenary a career dealbreaker?
I'm struggling with the decision to jump ship at my new job or stay and gamble on the off chance I might get promoted. [more inside]
Toddler-proof my porch?
We live on the third floor of a Chicago apartment, and have a very agile one-year-old. And porch weather is coming! [more inside]
Excel and Powerpoint proficiency and job applications
I'm job hunting and while I've always been pretty good about applying to jobs that might be a little bit of a stretch for me, I never know how seriously to take listed qualifications like "proficiency in Powerpoint required" or "must have high-level Excel skills." [more inside]
Dog phobic and the unleashed dog
I have a mild dog phobia, in that I am OK around dogs on leashes and even dogs off leash if they are small and stay away from me. I'm seeing a sudden increase in unleashed dogs in a park I walk in. It's mostly bothersome, but not awful for me (though absolutely illegal), except in the case of one owner. I could use some help in dealing with this. [more inside]
Self-published authors of MetaFilter: what are the best current options?
Mr. C is in the final stages of readying a highly-specialized non-fiction work for publication. Challenges include that the book is illustration-heavy, oriented in landscape, and uses two different types of two-column formats. This is Mr. C’s first foray into self-publishing and we have questions. [more inside]
Looking for a very small 12v 1A PSU
What I really want is one of these but I can't seem to find the same thing anywhere in the US. It's to replace the PSU on a cool baguette lamp after it um fell in a mug of coffee :(
Tiny rust spots, easy to fix?
Can I use touch up paint to cover tiny rust spots on the hood of my car? [more inside]
Where to get a watch band expanded in Austin, TX?
I have a Timex watch with an expanding band that is too tight for my wrist. Looking for a recommendation of a place that can expand it for me for a reasonable price. [more inside]
Can this dryer be saved?
My dryer has suddenly stopped working. When I open the door the light comes on, and the machine makes a humming sound when I try to turn the dryer on, so it doesn't seem to be completely dead, but it won't run at all. I would like to try fixing it myself. Suggestions for fixes to try please?
Turntable/receiver speaker output to new soundbar
I have an older nice enough stereo, connected to nice speakers. Works great. I also have a TV with soundbar. Works great. The receiver/amplifier has two sets of speaker out - I have one set going to the existing speakers, what can I do to add the soundbar as the second set of speakers? [more inside]
What is the relationship between two commercial properties in NYC?
Are Event Space 51 and Casa the same space? Are they owned or managed by the same company? What is the relationship between them?
Donating to groups that counter right-wing propaganda in Canada.
I’m pissed off at the current wave of stupidity but busy with work/family and only passively engaged in politics right now. I think that many of my friends are in the same boat. I'd like to suggest that we donate to Canadian organizations that might be able to counter the sorts of YouTube and FB disinformation campaigns that led to Doug Ford's PC majority win in Ontario. [more inside]
Pregnancy, travel, and work
I’m supposed to travel to a work training when I’ll be 33-34 weeks pregnant. The HR department, which also handles travel, is asking me to provide them with a certification from my doctor that it is safe for me to travel at that time. Are they allowed to request this? I don’t mind taking a note to the airport, but don’t want to provide anything to HR. Are there any laws that prevent employers from asking personal pregnancy questions or making the kind of request they are making? Thank you!
thundercut
My hair is currently the in-vogue long undercut - shaved on the sides and back, and about 9" long at the top, front to back. I need some practical ideas of what I can do with this as right now I just wear it all to one side and I am getting bored. [more inside]
Help me with a ridiculous first aid question?
You are not my doctor, but maybe you’re more creative than my doctor. Yesterday I was playing with a friend’s excellent dog and she managed, somehow, to seriously scratch the inside of my nose with her tooth. I’m allergic to all the beautiful trees and constantly blowing my nose right now, so when I put antibiotic ointment on it last night it was almost immediately gone. How do I care for this silly yet somewhat painful injury?
Help me organize tasks at work
I'm good at my job but disorganized. This is because of my nature as well as well as being overworked. My boss will NOT help with the latter. I need a free service or some advice on how to set up something myself, with the following features:
-Create groups or types of tasks (i.e. sales, quotes, issues, returns...etc)
-Add tasks into these groups
-Change the color/status when the task is done, or I'm working on it
-Place within each task line item to add notes. [more inside]
Your best tips to punch up an article
I've been doing music journalism for ten years now. I think I do a good job, but I know there's room to tighten up my language and generally punch things up in revision. What are some of your best tips to do that? Not looking for basic editing for clarity/form, just some things you look for to sharpen up your revision.
How to improve 2-year-old diaper changes
My son, who turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, totally flips out when we need to change his diaper first thing in the morning. Should we just potty train him? [more inside]
Gimme your best Scotland
I'm heading to Scotland for vacation in May for about 10 days. What are the best things to see, eat, and do? [more inside]
Your best Rome adventures for a five year old
We will be traveling to Rome soon with our 5 year old. Thanks to the great answers on my prior AskMe, kid is now sufficiently hyped. SO and I have been to Rome before, but this is kiddo’s first time (and first time to Europe). Do you have any sure hits/can’t miss things in Rome for a five year old? [more inside]
Songs of hope in times of trouble
In times of Brexit, Trump, and general chaos, and being an LGBTQ+ person in times of increasing discrimination, well it's all pulling me towards bleakness. Music of hope is urgently required, antidotes to weariness requested. [more inside]
Shenanigans Journal
People who get up to a lot of projects and/or have a lot of project ideas: how do you keep track of your ideas, your progress, any opportunities that come your way? From brainstorm stage to development to end product, or any stage really. [Snowflakes inside, but don't feel like you have to fit my particular situation/needs to reply with what works for you] [more inside]
Need WordPress Help
I'm trying to move a club's WordPress site to my hosting plan at HostGator. I was mildly tutored to do it one way, which didn't work, and I've tried to educate myself about another way, which also hasn't worked. Please help me get this site running again. [more inside]
March 27
How to sew fraying Spanx?
Not a seamstress, but this can't be so hard. This
pair is fraying. How to fix or sew Lycra, is the question. [more inside]
Is it okay to use a US passport now if it expires in June?
Does anyone know if the US passport expires before the technical expiration date, like some countries? My relative's US passport expires in June and she will be traveling to her native country early April-mid May. She will be using her native passport (that is not expiring soon) to enter and leave that country but will be using the US passport to leave and reenter the US. Will there be a problem?
Cheap unsafe neighborhood vs expensive safeish neighborhood. Do I jump?
How do I make this decision? What made you decide to stay or leave? [more inside]
Is there any point in filing for unemployment in this scenario?
Theoretically, let's say someone who resided in Maryland quit their job voluntarily, but felt they were driven to it by having had to deal with a lot of sexism at their job.
Could this fall under constructive discharge? [more inside]
King size mattress on top of two twin size box springs?
Can we temporarily put a new memory foam king size mattress on top of two twin size box springs? [more inside]
Request for referral to therapist in Manhattan
Good Evening. According to brother, my 27 year old nephew is very depressed and talking about suicide. He lives in Manhattan, across the country from me. He is seeing psychiatrist who recently prescribed meds but no counseling. My nephew is about to begin Ketamine infusions. Does anyone know of a good therapist in the Manhattan area I can refer him to? Sincerely, htm
Where to start with Lois McMaster Bujold?
Lois McMaster Bujold is one of those authors I’ve been intending to read for a long time but haven’t gotten around to. I’ve seen her recommended here many times. What books of hers would you recommend a newcomer start with? I just got Falling Free from the library because I heard it comes chronologically first in the Vorkosigan Saga, but I have no idea if that means it’s a good place to start.
Where in the US should I live (cheaply)?
As I am wrapping up my graduate program, I find myself with relative freedom to choose where I might want to live next. I currently live in SoCal, which I love, but which is very expensive. Where else might I go that has a lower cost of living? [more inside]
High maintenance neck seeks flying pillow of dreams
I just need a pillow to use on long flights that will actually support my high maintenance neck, is that so much to ask? I have already tried: TRTL pillow. Did not support my neck enough. Nap Anywhere. It also did not support my neck enough. Also tried REleaf neck brace which was great at choking me while also not supporting my neck. As you may have noticed, my neck needs higher support than average. [more inside]
Quote: "Travelling suggestions from strangers are postcards from god"
I have obviously misremembered the quote "Travelling suggestions from strangers are postcards from god." I’m hoping someone with better Google-fu than I can help me track down the original. Anyone?
Hey, buddy...You wanna dish?
Is there a market for used satellite dishes? [more inside]
Source This Necktie
Can anyone identify where to get the necktie UK Speaker of the House John Bercow was wearing today?
Seattle-Bremerton/Port Orchard commute
I have questions about a very specific commute, but hopefully there are a few folks here who can provide feedback/info on a Seattle-Bremerton Port Orchard commute. [more inside]
How can I hide read receipts in Messenger so that I remain unaware...
I don't like to see if someone has read my messages in FB Messenger as it can be a source of anxiety for me. However, I can't find a simple solution, and most things online are more about reading messages without alerting the sender. [more inside]
High-quality text-to-speech app for Android?
I'd like to start with long readings in a variety of formats (PDF, docs, websites) and have my phone read the main text bits aloud with minimal fussing on my part. Currently I use the irritatingly buggy @VoiceAloud Reader for this. What better options are out there? [more inside]
Scratch that DIY for apartment-dwellers itch
I absolutely adored ReadyMade Magazine back in the day. I anticipate having a little more time than usual this spring to invest in some (small-scale not a ton of power tools or space and as a renter nothing permanent to my dwelling) DIY projects. What should I read for ideas? [more inside]
33p! h4lp me survive 80-hour weeks at code school!
I'm in a competitive programming bootcamp where 10-14 hour days are required to pass. Like, don't-flinch, don't-leave-your-seat, hands-on-the-keyboard, lunch breaks don't count. Is this wise or conducive to learning? Questionable! Still, I'm going to do it. How can I make this work? [more inside]
Explain the sudden popularity of 9''x9" pans
My whole life, the standard square baking pan size in the US has always been 8x8 inches. Suddenly 9x9 inch pans seem to be taking over. Why? [more inside]
What are some healthy coping mechanisms for negative feelings?
I have been working on being more emotionally present and expressive, but a lot of negative feelings keep getting stirred up and I don't know how to deal with them. These feelings are intrusive, distracting, and really painful -- I need some relief. Usually, I would shut down emotionally or maybe indulge in escapism and call it a day. But I am working on using healthier coping mechanisms now. My question is, what ARE those healthier coping mechanisms? How can I deal with this, in both the short and long term? [more inside]
Eggs marks the Spot
I'm trying to design an overly elaborate easter egg hunt/ treasure quest for some small children between the ages of 4 and 9.
Give your ideas for puzzles and activities. [more inside]
Looking for delicious recipes that can be made in a microscopic kitchen
We are in week 2 of a kitchen remodel. Thanks to guidance received from answers to this question, our essential kitchen items are accessible in the living room and we should have use of the stove, refrigerator, and dishwasher during most if not all of the construction. But prep space is very limited, especially while we have no countertops, so I'm seeking recipes that will be tasty but require almost no prep equipment and space. [more inside]
Wordpress problem: I can see all "Pages" except the front page.
My employer's website is hosted on WordPress. One of the links is borked, and I was asked to fix it. I've coded in HTML and used CSS, and can generally google anything else I need for most basics, but I am stumped on this one: [more inside]
Iceland transport strike -- can we see the Northern Lights another way?
Some friends and I are flying in to Reykjavik tomorrow for a long weekend that includes a Northern Lights tour, but it looks like this two-day transport strike is going ahead, and that will seriously mess up our plans. [more inside]
How to evaluate a mobile home (and 55+ community)?
Due to longstanding financial issues, my aunt (late 50s) is losing her home. (Florida here) She is considering moving into a 55+ mobile home community but knows nothing about doing this. Would likely be doing a rent-to-own/financing option. How do you evaluate structural condition of a mobile home? Mold issues? Wiring? Etc.? Thanks.
What can a 6 year old buy that 'helps the environment'?
My 6 year old son has been saving his allowance, and he wants to buy something that will help the environment? Any ideas? [more inside]
Smart Switch for Water Heater
We are installing a water heater for an outdoor shower and will turn it on to warm up water to take the occasional shower and then turn it off in the times between. Siri already controls our lights with a combination of Hue and iDevices products. Are there products that would enable us to ask Siri to turn on a hardwired water heater?
Can we make this relationship work?
Cross cultural issues, inexperience on his side, and weird pacing make it a bit complex, however we are very much in love [more inside]
What is this plant? And this story?
Several years ago, in the late winter, there was a short piece in the NYT about a plant.
This was a small plant that arrived in the very early spring, before all others, but only lasted a short time. Blossomed briefly and went away. And the piece was SO beautifully written. I have tried, but cannot find it. I believe it was a part of a regular column, maybe about plants? flowers? That's all I can offer. Any ideas?
how to business trip, San Francisco edition
Hi Hive Mind! I'm confirmed for a business trip in San Francisco for the end of April (21-29, not counting travel). I'm from Central Europe, this is my first business trip and my first US trip. I have questions. [more inside]
Dementia at home, what to do?
My 85 year old father is showing signs of accelerating dementia, but getting him into a home will take time. What should be done to keep him safe in the meantime? [more inside]
YANMDfilter - what follows a finding of high CRP?
I am under medical care. I'm just a little perplexed. [more inside]
Changing therapists after MANY years of treatment with the same person
Is it possible to change therapists after being with the same one for so long? I’ve been seeing the same psychiatrist (“Dr. C”) for about 15 years now to treat moderate chronic depression, with a smidge of anxiety thrown in from time to time. Besides talk therapy, I’m also on meds, which he prescribes and monitors. He is the only therapist I have ever seen, so I have no baseline to determine what makes for good therapy. [more inside]
What is this music? (Acapella jazz (?) filter)
What is this marvelous music, and who is performing it? Bonus for you, you get to watch a terrific "freestyle" dressage ride by a great horse and rider.
Excel - Automatic data entry into a second sheet based on criteria?
I track my outgoing expenses in Excel 2016, one workbook per year. Each workbook contains a sheet with all expenses including the date and category of expense, then one sheet for each month with expenses broken down by category. I would like to be able to enter an expense ONLY in the first sheet and have it automatically update the corresponding month's sheet in the column for that category. Is this possible? [more inside]
Unwritten rule of whodunnits
I heard ages ago a "rule" that good (or stereotypical) mysteries and crime stories always introduce the killer in the first 1/3 of the plot, otherwise the reveal is cheapened for the audience. Is this actually a written rule somewhere? [more inside]
March 26
Can I do these specific things on an iPhone as easily as on Android?
I’m considering moving from Android to iOS and I have some questions about stuff that can’t really be tested at the Apple Store. Are the following things that I do on my Android possible -- or similarly easy -- to do on an iPhone? [more inside]
What are chances opening Word doc on old PowerPC Mac installed malware?
I received an email from someone I'd had a brief email exchange with regarding some technical matters. The email contained an attached macro-enabled Word doc, which I assumed would contain information related to our previous brief discussion. My attempt to open it resulted in no readable information. Is it possible that a keylogger or some other malware could have been installed on my Mac as a result of opening this? [more inside]
Where to buy curtains?
I am looking for curtains that are 96” long or a bit shorter. I’ve looked at the major places. What design stores am I missing? [more inside]
Options for last bit of remodel financing?
We are in the midst of a major home remodel on our primary residence, including an addition and moving a kitchen. We have home equity loans for the majority of it-a small one against our primary and a larger one against the value of a rental property. We need about 40K US more-help me figure out best option. [more inside]
What's this piano piece from Deutschland 86?
from episode 7, this piano piece
IAAL, IAMOL
Mid-size firm in a secondary market. I've been there since law school, and now, they want to make me an income partner. Should I let them? [more inside]
how come mirror neurons don't work on unrequited love?
or, why do they seem to only work on some emotions? [more inside]
A month in Japan this summer.
My partner and I will be spending a month in Japan from June 8 until July 6. What do you recommend? Difficulty level: lacto-ovo vegetarians and a few tattoos. [more inside]
Oh the places you will go (for dinner)
Living in a new city, and there's a restaurant boom. We cook at home mostly but when we want to go out, it's super difficult to decide a place to go. Factors like, what side of town, how expensive, how long is the wait, quality, atmosphere, etc. Short of creating some sort of massive database, can you suggest a tool or process for helping make this decision easier? [more inside]
Taking photos of faded grave inscriptions
I've volunteered at my local council to help record and restore some of the historic graves in my local area. There's a bunch of us doing it but I'm the only one with any experience with a camera (and not much at that). Where do I go to research techniques on how to get the most out of very worn inscriptions? [more inside]
Managing a Rental Property for my Dad
Hi! Do you manage a rental property? I need some help developing a plan that will work. [more inside]
How do I prevent my nephew from getting me sick all the time?
My baby nephew has given me 3 terrible colds in less than 3 months, even when I've been vigilant about hand washing. How do I prevent this going forward? [more inside]
How to best support a friend's search for love
My friend (cis-het) is in her late 30's and would very much like to find love, get married, and start a family. Unfortunately, she has yet to have a romantic partner in her life. She is quite open about her dating woes and is working on self-improvement. Other than listening and giving words of encouragement, how can I best support her? Is there anything I can do to help her to meet the right guy or just be a good friend to her? [more inside]
Help me host a baby shower with lots and lots of dietary restrictions
I offered to help host a baby shower for a friend. I need suggestions on what I can make, preferably ahead of time, that will fit these parameters: gluten-free, soy-free, onion-free, and low-carb. And preferably that don't involve an oven. [more inside]
Help Me Choose an Electric Bike
I have finally decided to buy an electric bike (after years of saving and researching and renting) and I have found a local shop that sells 2 bikes in my price range. Please help me decide which one I should buy. [more inside]
Audio driver issue or hardware issue?
Windows 10 desktop, I got a USB mic, it won't go higher than -24 db, and any options to raise the gain are just missing. [more inside]
help me with a quote: something something porch floorboards something...
The gist of the quote is something like this:
We shouldn't emulate the imprudent tenant who tears up the porch floorboards in Winter to feed the stove, only to complain that he has nowhere to sit in Summer. What is the exact quote? [more inside]
How to spend 10 hours in Houston burdened with luggage
Due to flight cancellation, my wife and I must exit our Houston Airbnb at 11 AM this Friday but our flight doesn’t leave until 11 PM. We have no car, but have two rolling luggage bags to deal with. Can’t leave bags at Airbnb. Can we check bags anywhere anymore, or what can we do with bags in tow that isn’t a huge hassle? Please save us from 10 hours waiting at the airport.
Godzilla in the style of the Iliad?
I read this recently,it was brilliant. Where did I see it? On an author's blog? Please can you help me find it. Thankyou
Cat pee and couture
My cat peed on a beautiful wool blazer. The dry cleaner returned it to me still smelling like cat pee, my guess is the pee needs a wet wash, but the blazer needs to avoid washing machines and retain its fashionable structure. Any advice please!
Home Keyless Options and Risks
Keyless home entry! It's been a decade since this last came up, so the tech may have come a ways, but I'm looking to upgrade the locks on a new home purchase and possibly get a little fancy. Tell me what's great and what's terrible about this idea, and what things I should look for! [more inside]
What is the "wet method" in asbestos handling?
I work in a 1960s Cold War-era federal building that has asbestos. Last week, a couple of our floor tiles became loose and have to be replaced. From my understanding, there is asbestos in the adhesive used to originally apply the tiles. They plan to perform the replacement using the "wet method." What is the wet method in terms of asbestos handling, and how safe is it?
Composting 101
I recently bought a house out in the country, and need to set up a compost area. Please give me your compost wisdom - what is the best way to set up bins (or should I use tumblers)? Are there reliable composting websites you love? Are there speedier or lazier approaches? Any secret to success in a very rainy (~80 inches per year) climate? [more inside]
Chiropratic without the neck adjustments and crystals
My partner went to the chiropractor for the first time in years yesterday. Afterwards, we dug into it a little more and found the warnings about neck adjustments and the state of the science about it in general. They have another appointment scheduled for tomorrow. We've agreed not to let the chiro adjust their neck anymore, but should they keep going for back adjustments? What about massage/TENS/roller tables? [more inside]
How do I explain difficulties involving a fellow manager to our boss?
I'm at my wit's end. One of my leadership peers, Riley, is almost twice my age and notoriously difficult to work with: passive aggressive, defensive, treats some of us like children, makes mountain ranges out of mole hills. Employees ask me how to work better with her, but nothing I do myself seems to help. Trying to explain what's going wrong to the CEO has proven difficult. I'm not even sure I'm handling this right anymore. Help me process and articulate this situation? How to discuss with CEO productively? Many, many details inside. [more inside]
Please analyze this bespoke electronic device
At my job they routinely auction off surplus tools to raise money for charity. One of the things currently up for auction is a plexiglass box with electronic components inside. What might it do? Pics and details inside. [more inside]
Dictating to Siri While Also Saving Sound File
If I dictate to Siri (mobile), results may be incomprehensible. But if I dictate a voice memo, there's the chore of transcription. Ideal would be to have both: lousy auto-transcription plus audio file. It's much easier to correct a bad transcription than to produce one from scratch. Does this capability exist anywhere, or can it be somehow hacked together?
Negotiating Severance Packages
Help me understand risks, rewards, and tactics around negotiating severance packages in the US. [more inside]
A steaming plate of birthday beans
I have a significant birthday this year. I'd like to celebrate it with my friends in some manner, which is not a thing I've really done a lot as an adult for complex reasons mostly around self esteem and perceived worthlessness. I'll be sad and disappointed in myself if I let this one pass without marking it socially, but I feel super anxious about various logistical/practical elements of organising a party. Talk some sense into me please. [more inside]
Libel on YELP.
I was libeled, by name, on YELP. The statements are blatently untrue. I want to flag it/have it removed. However, in order to do that, I have to sign up for an account and to agree to their terms and conditions which state that I do not hold YELP liable for content on their site. Fuck that! Now what? [more inside]
Are these boots (re)made for walking?
I have a pair of mystery boots (no labels or other identifying features that might help me track down another pair) that I purchased from a vintage Etsy dealer many years ago. They are my favourite pair of footwear I have ever owned. They've been repaired several times already, but I think they may now truly be on their last legs (feet?). I am inordinately sad about them being gone soon. Surely there must be a service/craftsperson/business who could re-make a custom new pair based on this old pair? But who? And how much? [more inside]
Help me pick a mid-range smartphone
The GPS on my Nexus 5X quit working, so it's time to look for a new phone. I want a small-ish phone that will keep working for at least a couple years. I'm looking at things in the range of a Moto G6/G7, Moto X4, iPhone 5s/6. Do you have a phone like this that you have opinions about? Additional details inside. [more inside]
Drupal Views, report building - more like this
I love building reports and Views in Drupal. What similar services could I provide? What similar tasks do businesses need a consultant to do for them? [more inside]
Is it a rabbit or is it a duck?
Please help us interpret what happened in this poll: two groups, one with three people (set 1), one with one person (set 2). Each person was shown the same picture and had to decide if what they were seeing was a duck or a rabbit. Exercise was repeated with 100 duck/rabbit pictures. We ended up with four answers for each picture, but now we are struggling to figure out what the answers tell us. [more inside]
How do I use a Pivot Table to count across multiple rows?
Hi,
Pivot tables tend to scramble my brain. How do I get it to count unique instances across multiple rows? Example and google sheet below the fold [more inside]
Missing records in Access query
I have an Access database with three tables, and a main form that we use for inputting data, based on one of the tables, with the other two tables as subforms.
My issue is that, unless we have input some data on both subforms, the record won't show up in any queries. [more inside]
Is there such a thing as a real estate blacklist
I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to buy a house. I really can't afford one. I just want one very badly. I've made three offers that haven't been accepted and I think I need to walk away from the home buying process in general, and focus on other things.
The only thing stopping me from walking away is that I feel terrible stiffing my realtor, as weird as that may sound. [more inside]
Help me find sticks!
Craft sticks, actually.
I am remaking some wood and paper sconces for our living room due to my old ones getting faded. However, I am having trouble finding sticks to use for the frame. The old ones used bamboo, but it's in poor shape and too short, so it can't be reused for this project. So off to Michael's, where I found bamboo sticks, but in a very small diameter (about a quarter of an inch at most). These are a bit too bendy and also a bit anemic looking for the scale of the sconces. I would prefer them around 3/8 to 1/2 inch in diameter., like my old ones. Then, looking online, I found some that might work, but they are expensive and vendors don't always list the thickness. I also looked for alternatives such as birch sticks or some other tree source of cured, straight, sticks. I came up pretty frustrated. [more inside]
Trying to Kindle a love of reading
This blog post touched on a topic that I have been thinking about lately regarding promoting my child's reading habits. [more inside]
Pre-interview podcast recommendations
I have an interview on Thursday and four hours of solo driving for a work trip tomorrow. Can you recommend some specific relevant podcasts to make the most of that time? [more inside]
Anyone remember a recent metafilter post about blacked out aesthetic?
I'm trying to find a fairly recent (less than a year old?) Metafilter post. It was a post about the aesthetics of blacked-out vehicles, and monochrome US flags, and what their symbolism means and how it developed. [more inside]
U.S. / Canada Summer Vacation for Tweens
I'd like to plan a awesome vacation for my wife and two kids ( 8 and 10 ) in North America. We have been lucky enough to do Disney World, a cruise, San Diego, Seattle and Costa Rica. I would really like to avoid the standard summer vacation destinations / clichés if at all possible. We have 7-10 days and will fly, rent cars, etc. Where should we go and what should we do? [more inside]
What should I do in Pittsburgh this month?
I'm in Pittsburgh for a month, on an art residency! At least for now, I have a fair amount of spare time during the day on weekdays. What should I do with it? [more inside]
Best writing on science, technology and innovation
I'm looking for the world's best writing on science, technology and innovation. Can be in the form of books, magazines, research articles, long form essays, anything goes. [more inside]
Maybe I’m over-thinking it
Has anyone had experience with opposite sex friendships during the tween years? [more inside]
March 25
Canadians on this site, which are the best universities in Canada for CS?
So I want to get an MS degree in Computer Science and i have considered Canada as one of the places where I want to apply. However I do not know very much about Canadian universities. So I have a few questions about that.
1. Do Canadian universities ask for the GRE? Do they care much about it anyway?
2. Which universities have the best programs, specifically in HPC or AI?
3. Which have MS degrees oriented towards the industry and not towards research?
Advice on learning Swahili
I'm an experienced language learner looking for some advice on learning Swahili. Looking for: resources, advice, experience reports, anything related! Details within! [more inside]
Boys, sigh, boys
I am terrible at flirting. o i went to trivia tonight there with a buddy. There was a guy sitting alone, and so we asked if we could join his team. [more inside]
I need a better way of keeping track of things I'm waiting on
Four times in the past three months (two of which were today) I've screwed up at work because I was waiting to do a thing until I get a necessary email, but the email didn't arrive, I didn't notice, and I didn't do the thing. What workflows, processes, or technology do you use to insure this doesn't happen? [more inside]
Should I sue a poor person?
I’m torn between the world of legal agreements and my social justice heart. I got lied to, a lot, in a real estate transaction. Details inside. [more inside]
Do I need water line insurance?
The water company sends me mail suggesting I pay 5.99/ month (72/ year) for 7,000 worth of insurance in case something should happen to the water line between where it connects at the street and where it comes in to my house. Do I need this? I live in Maine, where freeze/ thaw is a regular thing. There are lots of trees, none within 10 feet of the water line. It goes under the driveway at some point. [more inside]
Can I eat this, no. 28177
My husband cut up some potatoes this afternoon and put them in a pot with olive oil, rosemary, and salt. Now the cut surfaces of some (not all) of the pieces are an unappealing gray color and we would like to know if they can be baked and served or if they should just be thrown out. [more inside]
IRS question
I am already a power of attorney for my parents. Do I still have to have my parents sign the IRS POA form 2848? [more inside]
Replacing the doors on an old metal shed
We have an old metal shed in the backyard with doors on wheels that use to slide in tracks at the top and bottom. The shed itself is in decent shape, but over time, the doors have gotten bent and the wheels are now either broken or missing. [more inside]
ISO a candy bar or flip phone with great GPS location for a senior
Looking for recommendations for a cell phone (bar or flip) with actual buttons that has excellent GPS location capability, to help family members locate a person with dementia. We’re in Canada. [more inside]
What plant is this?
We have a patch of this growing in our yard. It looks like it's not a weed, but I'm not sure what it is. Phone app for identifying plants have given mixed answers. [more inside]
How long do Canadian courts keep reports/evidence?
I'm in the process of requesting some records (economic reports) from various courts across Canada. A few of my requests have been rejected because the courts no longer have the reports that I've requested. I'm wondering how long courts hold on to evidence? Does it vary by type/location of the court?
Best way to make short calls abroad on an irregular basis
I am in the USA and make short calls on an irregular basis on my iPhone to foreign telephone numbers using Skype credit that I bought years ago. Now that that Skype credit is almost used up, should I repurchase it or is there a better option? [more inside]
How can I make *permanent* preference changes to my MacBook menu bar?
I *do* want Bluetooth to show up. I do *not* want an old VPN thingie to be there anymore. How do I stop these from reverting to my unwanted state upon restart? [more inside]
How are American movie run times calculated?
What the title says. Does the official run time for American movies include the after credits? At what point do they officially begin and end? Or is there an official standard for American films?
Joining Facebook in 2019
I'm considering getting a Facebook account. In light of the Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp integration, what do I need to consider when signing up in order to maximize privacy and minimize infiltration of my online life (basically re-asking this question from 5 years ago)? I also have an Instagram account. [more inside]
Cali Holiday Filter
Who has today March 25, 2019 off as a holiday for Cesar Chavez' Birthday?
In California? I know some agencies have next Monday off, but we see online that some are getting today off.
It isn't the state or our local county as far as we can tell.
thanks.
Bus from Philly to D.C. (plus Phillies baseball etiquette)
3 Europeans traveling from Philadelphia to Washington D.C. at the end of March. We want to use a bus service - cost is the most important factor, but we also want it to be safe and clean-ish. We want to leave not too late in the morning, but it's OK if we don't get to D.C. exactly on time. Which service would you recommend? [more inside]
Best way to watch speeches by Dem candidates for president
I prefer to hear fewer clips on news programs and more full speeches or segments of speeches, full interviews, etc. [more inside]
Songs in the key of STFU
I need songs about, well, not wanting to hear about it anymore. The value of "it" is perhaps immaterial. [more inside]
what's up with GreatSchools ratings/how to evaluate a school?
Asking for a house-hunting friend: How seriously should one take these GreatSchools ratings attached to Zillow and Redfin listings? How did you evaluate the quality of your kid's potential school? [more inside]
Metal zipper repairin manhattan or brooklyn
Do you have a repair person for metal zippers in manhattan or brooklyn? Do you love their work and recommend them with your whole heart?
Tell me. I beg you. [more inside]
Giant ants eating camels, for teens
What annotated book on Herodotus would you recommend for a 12 year old? [more inside]
Who was to administer Jerusalem under the 1947 UN plan?
Under the 1947 UN partition plan for Palestine, the city of Jerusalem was to become an "international city" placed under the trusteeship of the UN. In practice, had the plan been agreed to, who specifically would have been responsible for administering Jerusalem and guaranteeing its status (for instance, that it be demilitarized)? Would it have been some sort of international force? How would it have been constituted?
Should I be worried that my cat has found a new, highly secluded nest?
My cat has started climbing 4 sets of shelves in my closest to reach a "nest" (piles of towels) in the back corner of the highest shelf. She can spend 18 hours up there. In general, she's a very active (but old) indoor/outdoor cat so wonder if this might be a sign of something bad.
Advice for divorce and post-divorce with an infant
I’m looking for resources and personal-experience-advice on life post-divorce with shared custody of an infant. Extra bonus if it addresses the tremendous, physically painful, soul-crushing guilt of ripping my son's family apart/taking away his chance at a two-parent home. [more inside]
Relaxed slow bike
I want to find a bike which is slow and relaxed and can handle ground that is a bit muddy and rough or advice on how to turn my existing bike into this if possible? [more inside]
Please help plan my unambitious northeast getaway
This is one of those boring "please help me figure out where I should vacation" posts. My partner and I have 4-5 days available in the middle of April, and due to a combination of procrastination and not realizing how expensive short flights can be (our original plan was Charleston/Savannah but it just seemed too expensive to justify a 5 day trip where basically 2 of those days would be in transit), we are looking for ideas centered in the Northeast, where we live. [more inside]
How much is that doggie in the window
Can you please help me find a specific stuffed doggie?? [more inside]
Shades buying experiences
We’re looking at buying Hunter Douglas Duette Literise shades that will open both top down and bottom up. We’re considering different shade fabrics and wanted your experience with this kind of window treatment, this specific make and model, and the types of fabric material available. [more inside]
advice that feels like bullying
How to respond appropriately to advice that feels like an order? [more inside]
Please help me get rid of this laptop before it becomes a museum piece.
I’m planning to sell my 2013 Lenovo ThinkPad T-530 on Craigslist. I originally bought it for work, then ended up changing jobs, and have since neglected it in favor of my MacBook. It has pretty much sat unused for the past 6 years, and I no longer remember the administrator password. What’s the easiest and cheapest way for me to remove all my data from this laptop in preparation for giving it away? If it matters, it's running Windows 7.
March 24
How do I make my modified carrot cake less "chewy"?
My carrot cake is a bit dense/chewy. Any suggestions to remedy this? [more inside]
London in April?
My wife and I will be in London for work in April. What can we do on nights and weekends? Difficulty: I don't like touristy, "you pays your money and you takes your look" kind of stuff. More inside on what I do like. [more inside]
How do I become more considerate?
My default isn't Good Person. I try to be more thoughtful and considerate, but it takes a conscious effort, and if I'm not paying attention, or if I'm having a shitty day, I slip back into ShittyPerson mode. What can I do to make this a more ingrained behavior? Examples and stuff below the fold: [more inside]
You have curly hair. You workout before work. How?
I have recently discovered that I have wavy/curly hair (or, really, my formerly straight hair has suddenly decided it's wavy). I have therefore taken on more complicated haircare rituals in the morning. When I had straighter hair, I went to the gym in the mornings before work; when I showered there, I could pretty much let my hair airdry or do a quick blowdry and it would be fine. Now that doesn't work, and I would like to start going back to morning workouts, but I'm feeling overwhelmed by the hair thing. Help? [more inside]
Humans are weird! How weird?
Seeking observations of humans doing everyday things from the perspective of an alien or animal or other non-human. [more inside]
Windows web developer ISO part time Mac
I run and build websites. I've used Windows for my entire professional career and I'm very comfortable with it. I have a potential new client that could really be a huge stepping stone for my career, but all their processes are MacOS based. How do I live in both worlds and stay an effective, efficient developer? [more inside]
Popcorn Popper China Syndrome
I love airpopped popcorn. Every airpopper I've ever owned has had parts that eventually just melted completely. Tell me about your airpopper that hasn't experienced meltdown despite a couple years of popping use. [more inside]
Motion sensor light switch with manual override on & off?
Can anyone point out an interior light switch with a motion sensor, which I can also manually override when I enter or leave the room? [more inside]
Bestest cheapest way to get from Seatac to UW Medical Center
Tomorrow morning I will arrive at Seatac at 6:10 and need to get myself to the University of Washington Medical Center for an 8:30 appointment. Uber is telling me this will cost $45. Is there a cheaper way that will definitely get me there in time?
Do All The Things: Video Edition
YouTube or TV shows where the host tries a new challenge each episode: what goes into the planning and production of these videos? [more inside]
Device to alert for sms
I am trying to put my phone down when I come home so i can be present with my family. We have a old land line phone that links to my cell via bluetooth so I still know of I get calls. It doesn't alert to texts though. Is there a device that will make a sound or blink a light when I receive a text. [more inside]
OutSteve Rick Steves for a day!
I'm likely to be moving abroad (US to Central America) this summer. I have a condo-ful of Stuff, a bunch of financial accounts (IRA, bank, credit card), clothes, furniture, kitchenware, TV and stereo, books, record albums, two bikes, a car ... a typical setup for a partner-free person of my (middle) age. Help me project-manage my next couple of months! [more inside]
Non-fiction books for toddlers
Our toddler is just over two years now, and starting to become interested in somewhat more complex picture books. We currently only own a few non-fiction books for this older age range (mostly fiction and stories, little of anything else so far). What are some great kid's books about the real world for 2+ year old kids? [more inside]
Organizing Important Documents
At home, I'm finding I have an ever increasing pile of important documents (tax forms, health insurance, leases, stuff I want hardcopies of) and no system for accessing it. I need to change that. [more inside]
Post-mortem for a sex life
I am trying to process the demise of my marriage, particularly of our sex life, and when I say process, it tends to veer towards unproductive ruminating. Can you help me along in any way? Reframing, nudging in a more useful direction, challenging my perspective, suggestions of literature or other helpful resources, all are welcome. Possible CW: unpleasant sexual experiences and some boundary crossing behavior. [more inside]
Allergy shots - do I really need retesting after 6 months?
I started allergy shots 6 months ago, and just hit maintenance dose. Sales pitchy doctor (who I increasingly trust less) now says I'm due for retesting again before they reorder - is that standard? [more inside]
How do I forgive myself for throwing away my drawings?
In 2015, I went on a (most likely) hypomanic cleaning spree. I threw out most of the sketchbooks and drawings I had from 2008 until then. They were from 8th grade, high school and the beginning of college. These years were really hard for me especially the end of high school and college. I had severe depression that only got better until pretty recently. My mom was saying that I would regret throwing them out, and now I really do. [more inside]
Medication, appetite, alcohol and interference
I have a friend who mentioned recently that she's unable to eat on a new medication she is taking for mental health issues. She's lost a fair bit of weight. However, she's able to drink - while the rest of us were eating she tried unsuccessfully to eat a small amount, drank some wine and had to go throw up. [more inside]
A Guide to Diagnostic Testing for Pet Parents of Senior Dogs
My senior's lab work revealed numerous abnormalities. I'm hoping to mitigate unnecessary spending whilst simultaneously doing right by her. What has your experience been with senior pet diagnostic testing? [more inside]
On LOA, Giving Notice Upon Return, Feeling Guilty
I have a one-year contract, currently on a 3 month leave of absence, and upon my return, I'm going to completely blindside my very nice employer when I tell them I'm not interested in renewing my contract and I'm giving them 4 weeks notice. How do I do this as professionally as possible? [more inside]
Which Sci-Fi shows or novels tackle "god-like space clouds"?
I'm cribbing from this review
"There are boundless storyline possibilities to pursue when writing for a science fiction show. Not every week has to confront god-like space clouds, or warring civilizations that manifest some internal struggle of human psychology, or anything heavy and intense like that"
is this a star trek reference?
Recommend word game apps without advertising
Years ago I was a happy user of words with friends when they still offered a premium no-ads version. Then that didn't generate quite enough dollars for the people at zynga to afford those ivory back-scratchers for the executive bathroom and now it's a thirty second ad every damn move and I hate it. Same for the Scrabble app. Is there anything out there with (i) fewer ads or preferably (ii) a paid version that removes PLAY THIS GAME and MATCH WITH THESE SEXY PEOPLE and NOT ANOTHER GAME WITH BUBBLES PLEASE adverts? Android, btw.
March 23
What do you love/hate about your home design, with toddler
I'm in the position of being able to make a wishlist of what I'm looking for in an apartment redesign. This question about kitchens has been super helpful to me, preparing a wishlist for the interior architect. So this is basically the same question, but about the home in general, with a toddler in it. What do you love/hate about your home's design? [more inside]
What are some good resources to help my kid answer back Ben Shapiro fans
My beloved kid is an 8th grader who identifies as non-binary. They have several classmates, especially one in particular, who like to pick political fights and get a lot of their information from Ben Shapiro and his ilk. What are some good resources, youtube channels, podcasts, books, etc... that would help them answer this sort of challenge? [more inside]
When to quit therapy? When to find a new therapist?
Inspired by, and related to, this question previously. I've been seeing a therapist for eight months now and am frustrated at the lack of progress. Is it time to try something else? [more inside]
Can I bring a young whippet mix into a house with an older cat?
I've heard that whippets can be aggressive towards cats, but that in the right circumstances, whippets and cats can get along fine, even well. Today, I and my fiancee met a young whippet mix (six-eight months est.) whom we got along with famously, but we have an older cat at home. Is there any way to make this work? Would it be safe to introduce them to see if they got along?
Which point and shoot camera should I buy, if any?
Somewhat inspired by this question, I'm wondering which digital camera I should buy, if any, to supplement my phone camera. I would use this camera for closeup / macro situations, relatively long telephoto shots, and low-light shots. [more inside]
Looking for Agencies that Promote Practical Sustainable Action
Simply looking to broaden my resources when it comes to organizations that empower the community with the practical tools, knowledge and capacity for action to make sustainable living the norm. These are typically very localized environmental charities - location does not matter as I'm just looking for inspiration.
Booking fall travel to London. Any bets about Brexit?
Should I book my trip now or wait until Brexit day? [more inside]
Mahjong: Seattle store selling sets, meetups playing HKOS, Mac/iOS game?
1.) Is there a place in Seattle that sells them? I'd guess there must be some place in the International District that does, but I haven't had luck finding one. 2.) Are there any meetup groups who play Cantonese / Hong Kong Old Style (HKOS) rules? 3.) Is there a good game that plays by these rules that's available for Mac or iOS, and which is available as a direct download, or in the US App Store? [more inside]
logistics of J-1 to H1-B / academia to industry
I'm a linguist in the US on a J-1 visa and am looking to get an industry job that would qualify me for an H1-B. Complicated question within about how the time frame would work, how to address this in my job search, whether this is even doable etc. [more inside]
Identify a Mysterious Bank Account Number
I found some undeposited checks from 2015 which I'd endorsed to a bank account number I don't recognize (no reference to it on my computer or in my email or other records). Since it's possible I did deposit these (via photo deposit) I need to know where to look for evidence before trying to get new checks paid (don't want to fraud anyone!). Account begins "13402"....can that be looked up somewhere/somehow?
Accessibility features for the one handed
For the foreseeable future, I will be limited to one arm/hand while using my computer, and the hand I have access to is not my normal mouse/trackpad hand. I would like to know as much about the accessibility features that might be of use to me. I'm on Mac OS X 10.14.2. [more inside]
Multi user license KineMaster for iPhone
Hello hive mind, I am looking for a multi user license for the video editing app KineMaster for iPhone.
It seems that our android brother and can easily get such a multi user license, but I’m having trouble finding similar for iPhone. If anyone has any ideas that would be great. This is a workplace and we don’t want to have to share iTunes logins or family sharing
How do I write up a '10 Year Plan' for myself?
Any resources/ books on the subject? Is it possible to even make one when your life is chaotic and uncertain? [more inside]
Is it safe to use talc on my fupa?
I got some prescription powder to help clear up the rash on my fupa/lower tummy. But it has talc in it and I am concerned about it falling down into my panties and putting me at risk for cancer. My woman pharmacist said to only use a small amount but use it often, 2-3 times per day. Is this something to worry about? I rarely use powder and always make sure it is cornstarch and not talc, but this rash is bothersome. (fupa = fatty upper pubic area for those who don't know)
One Day In Buffalo
Tuesday, I'll be at the Buffalo NY passport office just before 8am to get an expedited passport, which I'll pick up same day at 3pm. In between? That's up to you, my Buffalo-area friends. [more inside]
Preppy trans masculine person seeks UK clothing brands
I'm an AFAB person who exclusively wears menswear looking clothes.
I am going to an event with a lot of very senior people from big traditional companies and suddenly need high quality smart casual outfits that fit well. I'm nervous about fit issues and also about being in a fancier crowd than I am used to. Help! [more inside]
NYC-specific gift ideas
My BFF has just passed her PhD viva (with no corrections!). It's her birthday next Tuesday and then she's flying to New York on Saturday for a week with her partner. We're in London, what can I get her for her birthday that she can enjoy in NYC? I'm thinking maybe a gift card for food or drinks somewhere cool? Or some sort of experiential gift? She's staying in Brooklyn near Utica Ave subway. Details inside: [more inside]
How can I get more out of therapy?
I have been in therapy for around six months and will have a hard stop in May. I don't believe that I've gotten a lot out of it and feel frustrated. What can I do to open up to my therapist and stop wasting everyone's time with superficial chatter? What can I do to salvage this course of treatment? [more inside]
March 22
How to stop ruminating on an enemy
I don't want any zen advice about how no one is really an enemy. The person is a lost cause and short of quitting my job (not an option) they are absolutely unavoidable. They are a personal demon and a genuine bully. I don't have to interact constantly and already do my best to avoid the person to my greatest ability. However, [more inside]
How much % jerkface is calling in a complaint on parking violations?
My neighbors violate parking code constantly, I think they should be called in, my wife says I should let it go. Help settle our disagreement please. [more inside]
Hoping to find mother-daughter relationship miracle worker
Sadly, I find that we need the help of a family/parenting therapist at our house. In the briefest of terms the problem concerns a mom in the SF east bay area who is painfully missing a daughter who is away in her first year of college on the east coast. There was plenty of tension before college to be sure but it has now escalated to the point that the young scholar is refusing contact and is being very rude, even deliberately hurtful. Both have agreed to attempt counseling/therapy during her next trip home. [more inside]
Button-down shirts as soft as silk but more forgiving?
I'm a woman in my 20s who wants to change up my daily uniform. I used to wear soft, drapey, silk button-downs but am looking for a lower maintenance replacement. I would love to have the same look. Which brands should I look at and what materials? [more inside]
People with a lot of thoughts and feelings, who do you talk to?
I feel like I self-censor a lot. Talking helps, but I feel like there's such an abundance of thoughts and feelings that it's weird to dump it onto others.. [more inside]
Bad sushi... parasites?
I ate raw salmon and tuna sushi that smelled really off today, from a supermarket in Chinatown. The other ingredients masked the off-ness until I was halfway through and stopped eating. I had stomach cramps afterwards and my skin feels a little itchy. [more inside]
I think my mom needs to go out on disability, how do I help her do it?
My mother has several longstanding medical conditions - scoliosis and dystonia, which is a neurological disorder. She is frequently in pain throughout the day and just going to work is becoming difficult - I think its time for her to step away from the working world and go on disability. The problem is I have no experience navigating through all this stuff and neither does she. More info inside. [more inside]
Smoother under-eye highlighter application
How do I keep under-eye makeup from caking and settling into fine lines around the eyes? [more inside]
Stay Calm and Stop Annoying Your Friends
I have a bad habit of texting friends multiple texts in a panic whenever I have an anxiety attack. It's annoying. How do I stop? [more inside]
Can I cut-and-paste the top of this dress to a different skirt?
I've found (in online-image form) the platonic ideal of my wedding dress... but only from the waist up, I kind of hate the giant skirt that's attached. Is "ball gown to A line" possible through alterations? How can I find other dresses in this bodice style? [more inside]
What might have Gilbert Blythe done to save a woman's life?
I'm rereading all of LM Mongomery's Anne books, and there's a passage in Anne's House of Dreams that has me curious about what medical procedure Gilbert might have used to save his patient's life. [more inside]
Where can I hang in Philly tonight?
Where can I go in Philly tonight, alone, and hang for a few hours and feel comfortable? [more inside]
DressMeFilter
Looking for advice on how to find my personal style/dress well for my age and budget. [more inside]
Help me with my broken ankle blues
I need mental health tips as I recover from a broken ankle. [more inside]
Write me a song
I need a song. I'd like it to be in a catchy, Broadway style. Short but sticky. Any suggestions of who to ask?
Beginning enrollment in disability in WA
Will applying for and receiving state unemployment in Washington prevent my disabled friend from successfully qualifying for Federal disability? [more inside]
Where in H.R. 1 does it make election day a federal holiday?
H.R. 1 passed in the US House of Representatives earlier this month, and this vox article says that it "Mak[es] Election Day a holiday for federal employees and encourag[es] private sector businesses to do the same." Where is the text in the bill that legislates this?
Help me with my weird Outlook 2010 question?
I use Outlook 2010 at work, and had a strange thing happen with a meeting invitation. I could use some help figuring how this happened and what I need to do so it can’t happen again. [more inside]
I have my own 1-800# What do I do with it?
I purchased a 1-844 number for my business.
Big scheme of things, I don't really need it. A strong majority of my business id done via email, but was able to get a number using the name of my company, so I picked it up.
I was told that the number has to be at least 'parked' somewhere and I just can't hold onto it for months or years and do nothing with it.
Ideally, I'd like to have it be able to forward to my cell phone, with the option to turn on/off the forwarding at will. (mainly business hours).....When the forwarding is turned off, i want the number to go to a dedicated voice mail system for my business only and to not share my personal greeting /voicemail on my cell..
can anyone recommend any services... The Free'er, the better....As of now, it is not imperative to my business dealings, but when it is viable, I'd love to have something in place. Thanks
Zirra is discontinued; long live the Zirra
Burning The Money Wasn't My Goal
So my gas usage in February went a little haywire due to a couple of mechanical failures - both of which have been fixed. But that left me with a higher bill than usual. Is there any way I can plead a credit at all, or just suck it up? [more inside]
Nashville - Four days ending Easter Sunday
Three adults (all in the "mature" demographic) going to be in Nashville from April 17 - 21. We're staying close to downtown, with a car.
Already have tickets for Grand Old Opry, so what else would folks recommend. Maybe a Sunday brunch place? Going to get hot chicken, of course.
Sturdy covering for keeping car trunk area clean
The trunk area of my hatchback car is upholstered in some kind of thin, cheap felt that is a magnet for dust and debris of all kinds. Due to the nearly-velcro texture of the felt, vacuuming is ineffective (takes forever, leaves tons of stuff behind, and tends to shred the already-thin material further). But I like to haul lots of stuff in the back of my car. What are my options for a durable mat/tarp/covering that won't drive me crazy? [more inside]
Where to find old scripts and screenplays?
Hi. I've had a desire to write a screenplay for some time. I've been kicking around the same idea for a while. It's based very much in an old western style. I'd like to read some other scripts to get a feel for the language and structure. But. I've had a hard time finding the screenplays I want to read. There's a few sites like Drews Scriptorama but they don't seem to have much thats older. I'd like to read Shane, Pale Rider, the 1971 Get Carter, The Outlaw Josey Wales... Is there another resource? the Writers Guild perhaps?
Disclosing disability at work
I am reaching a point with my autoimmune conditions that I need, or may need, accommodations. For example I am supposed to travel and am seeking permission to make the trip the day before rather than all in one day, and am getting push back from finance so I think I need to explain it is related to a disability. Please help me plan. [more inside]
Sites like xovain?
I'm looking for sites that can help to replace xovain in my heart: a focus on beauty products and techniques, with a little snark and an approach that is friendly to those of us who need tutorials aimed at non-beauty professionals. So far I have found Byrdie and HelloGiggles' beauty section, which is where xovain redirects now. I want the focus to be on beauty products as opposed to wellness. Thanks!
Help with picking
My kid obsessively picks the dog's scabs, causing scars. This is part of a larger set of behaviors that we have many strategies for, including medication & therapy, so we're set on that score. What I'm looking to add to our toolbox are more alternatives to picking that give her the same satisfaction. Stuff she can peel, pick, etc. [more inside]
Requesting resolution for a code of conduct violation
Have you filed a code of conduct complaint and been happy with the outcome? If so, can you share whatwas done and/or what outcome you most wanted or requested? Secondarily, if you’ve watched a code of conduct investigation unfold, can you share outcomes that were considered and what eventually happened?
Of course, negative examples can helpful here too. [more inside]
Suit up!
No boring dresses at this wedding, help me be more hip and fun. [more inside]
Selena Gomez, but make it techno.
I'm obsessed with a particular kind of Soundcloud mix that features techno combined with pop/rap/indie. Find me more like it. [more inside]
Is there a simple way to find out where court cases took place?
I've been looking into court cases on canlii.org. I've noticed that while many of them list the location, an equally high number of the cases don't show any location at all. Is there an easy way to find out where the cases were heard? [more inside]
Incredible clawhammer banjo playing
I just started taking clawhammer banjo classes, and I'm looking for inspiration. Please send me your favorite clawhammer jams! Any era, any genre, whether technically proficient or paired with a catchy song or in an unusual genre, whatever. I want all the exposure I can get! [more inside]
The daycare child vs the at-home child
I recently said something to the daycare teacher about my son’s fear of dogs. She was quite surprised to hear this as they go for walks every day and see tons of dogs. How can I promote this behaviour at home? [more inside]
Yet another tall queer wardrobe question
I really like a style of quirky print buttoned/collared shirts that have turned into a bit of a genderqueer cliche, like these femme "menswear" ones from Boden or these soft butch "womenswear" ones from Wildfang. (I don't mean Hawaiian shirts, or retro bowling shirts, or dad-casual shirts with footballs on them.) But whichever side of the store I'm shopping on, I need a tall size shirt, and the brands that sell this stuff don't seem to have tall sizes. [more inside]
Stand-alone alarm clock that sounds like an iPhone alarm? Does it exist?
I want to get a bedside alarm clock so that I don't have my phone next to my bed. The problem is that I can't seem to find one that has nice soothing quiet alarm sounds like my iPhone had. [more inside]
Easily accessed timer/stop watch app on smart watch
I work in 15 minutes installments as a pair with a co-worker, and need a reliable and easy way to measure that time. What kind of watch should I get? [more inside]
Unplanned new car purchase
A couple weeks ago, I was in a three-car crash on the way to work that morning. Everybody's fine, but all three cars were totaled and the clock is ticking on my complimentary rental car while I shop for a new ride. What should I buy? [more inside]
March 21
Knockoff versions of a very pretty, very expensive ring that I covet?
I have found the ring of my dreams, a Le Vian Chocolate Ombre with 1/2 ct diamonds and 14k gold. It costs $$$. I am indifferent to having actual diamonds. I've been Googling for cheaper knockoffs of the basic design/colors in crystal or some cheaper stone, or vermeil instead of gold, and having no luck. Does anyone have pointers to less expensive rings with this general colorway/appearance? Thanks!
Bookfilter-book about gods chained by mortals for amusement
I read this in the last three years or so but can't find it again. I think it was a series. It involved mortals living in a city with sections, with a white tree tower in the middle. There were originally three gods but the female creator god had somehow been destroyed or banished. The other gods were both male, one was dark and dangerous, very dangerous, and the other looked like a child and played games but was actually very adult. [more inside]
Pazuzu t-shirt?
Yesterday I saw a guy wearing this t-shirt, but the one he was wearing had Pazuzu holding a cup of coffee. It was hilarious and I'd love to get it for a friend of mine, but can't find it online. Can you help?
Songs that gradually turn into disco
I'd like to make a playlist of songs that do not start out as disco, but gradually become more and more disco. So far I have Mitski - Nobody and half•alive - still feel.. What would you add?
Twin Cities in April
I asked a question about visiting the Twin Cities in the winter previously ( ) but the trip got pushed back. Instead, I'm going out there the first week in April. [more inside]
Interview Question—Library Edition
I have an interview next week for a public library Adult Services Associate position (requires a 4 year degree but not MLIS). I don’t have library experience (aside from being a lifelong patron!) but have a ton of retail book and educational publishing/marketing experience, plus experience in delivering programming about books to educators. MeFites with library experience—Any hints/tips for me on how to ace this interview? I’d love to get this job!
Help me understand lightweight hoodies
I have purchased a number of hoodies in my day, but a new style/fabric has caught my eye. All my hoodies are fleece, thick and only made from cotton (I think). While travelling recently, I saw people wearing thinner, lightweight hoodies that might be made of some sort of high-tech fabric. These are thinner than standard hoodies and look like they have a tighter weave. [more inside]
Can I make it smaller?
How drastically can a man’s jacket/sportcoat be altered, realistically? [more inside]
Books on Perimenopause and Menopause suitable for Crone Island
Please help me wade through the vast thicket of books about menopause and help me find one that’s actually informative and scientific. [more inside]
Clothes like Gorman when you can't afford Gorman
I'm looking for clothing with graphic patterns, arty prints, bold colours, etc along the lines of Gorman or Marimekko but without the $$$ tag. [more inside]
Hail Mary trucking company identification
Can you identify the trucking company of the pictured truck? I do not have a better image. Photo was taken yesterday outside of Missoula, Montana. The truck had Wisconsin plates.
Where are the women's button downs--and dressing "futch" in the office
I need to start planning my wardrobe around getting an office job. Does anyone have favorite budget-friendly, non-frilly button-up shirts in women's-style fits? And/or any recommendations on dressing business casual "futch" on a budget? [more inside]
How to unscrew toilet water supply hose that is stuck to bottom of tank?
I'm trying to install a bidet attachment to my toilet. I have the bidet attached to the bottom of the toilet seat, and now I need to remove the water supply hose from the bottom of the tank to install a T-adapter. I can unscrew the hose for a couple of turns and then it just... stops. I have tried unscrewing it with my bare hands, hands wrapped in a towel, and using a wrench but it won't budge. Any ideas? More info inside. [more inside]
Step away from my job!
My partner has decided to pursue the same career path as me. Why am I so upset about this and how can I be supportive instead? [more inside]
How to deal with a very sensitive parent?
I keep hurting her feelings inadvertently [more inside]
Quest for New Women's Chelsea Boots
My beloved Keens are on the edge of death. 15 years, 1 resole, can't complain. They don't make them anymore. :( What is out there besides Doc Martens and Blundstone in the $200 or less pricepoint? [more inside]
Help me pick a cheap smartphone.
I'm about to switch carriers to Tello, and I need a new smartphone. I don't use much data or that many minutes (maybe 100-150 minutes/month). My price range is under $150 - ideally less. Please help me pick a cheap smartphone from the specifications inside: [more inside]
Tone police police
My wife is a moderator of an online community which has both occasional problematic behavior that needs to be called out (the usual sexism racism transphobia etc) and also community members who sometimes do the calling out in a way that is hostile to the point of damaging the community. My wife is looking for a way to articulate policies on call-outs that don't discourage people from bringing up issues or quibble about their tone when they do so, but also make it clear people have to be respectful of other community members. Any pointers or suggestions?
How to dig through a million pages of documents?
Last summer, the US Senate had to wade through a million pages of documents on the Kavanaugh nomination. There are plenty of similar document dumps that journalists, lawmakers, investigators, etc. have to quickly assess and analyze. Are there any guides, articles or videos that explain how this process works, how to build a team and assess your own work for accuracy and comprehensiveness?
How to Sell a House with a Baby
We would like to sell our house, but we have a new baby who is cared for at home, we both work from home, and I have no idea how to make this work so anyone can see our house. [more inside]
Songs written in this century for beginner guitar
I've recently started taking guitar lessons and I'm getting on really well. All of the songs I'm learning are from 70's , 80's and 90's. Some of them were old when I was young.
I'd really like to learn some recent songs. I'm looking for suggestions that are less than 10 years old, are beginner friendly and can be sung by a shit voice. I'm open to any genre.
Bonus points if they'll make young people think I'm cool.
OK to eat? Deep fry edition.
I want to deep fry some stuff this weekend, and have a large unopened bottle of sunflower oil from a major UK supermarket. It expired May 2017 though. OK to use? It's been kept in a dark cupboard.
Dyslexia, Mixed Hand Dominance, Language Delay, Retained Reflexes?
Any thoughts on any of the above? :) [more inside]
Where can an activist group hold a big town hall meeting in NYC?
An activist group needs to emergency reschedule a big Town Hall next Wednesday the 27th in NYC. Where can we check about space? Needs: 200-300 people. Sound System. Wheelchair accessible. Projector preferred. We will pay what it takes. Ideas?
Gravity is not my friend.
Okay, I admit it: I'm vain. As a fit and healthy 64-year old woman who nevertheless has bags under her eyes and sagging/wrinkled skin, maintaining my appearance can be a challenge. My skincare routine is simple: wash with Neutrogena soap, gently exfoliate every few days, and wear very little makeup except to cover the dark circles under my eyes. That's about it. I've not kept up to date with methods for combating the forces of advancing age, figuring that "gravity is not my friend" and leaving it at that. But a question here a few days ago addressed all sorts of chemical-y and laser-y procedures I never heard of, so maybe there are some things I can do to look better. Please educate me: what are my options? Assume that within reason money is no object (although some indication of approximate cost would be appreciated) but lengthy and/or intricate daily routines won't cut it for me.
I want to learn the Thai alphabet
I am looking for resources to help me learn the Thai alphabet. Any tips? Apps, websites, perhaps books?
Not sparking joy, but goodbye isn't an option
I've always been a bit of a pushover in relationships. Recently (aided in no small part by diligent reading of Ask.Me) I've started drawing better boundaries about what behaviour I find acceptable and what I would walk away from. I've no doubt that this would be a great thing long-term, but the short term sorta sucks and I would appreciate some help in navigating it. Details below the jump. [more inside]
possibly 3-5 years to live: How will I/would you spend it?
I'm currently waiting to find out if my cancer has returned in a metastatic (terminal) form. Help me prepare for the worst, as having a plan is the only thing that will help my anxiety right now. Not really looking to make a "bucket list" as much as to decide what my priorities are and see what others think, out of curiosity. [more inside]
Wearing fangs on stage
Were/are fangs or prosthetic teeth worn on stage by actors depicting a) Dracula and b) other vampires? Can you demonstrate this? [more inside]
March 20
getting off & feeling bad.
the stuff that gets me off makes me feel bad. [more inside]
System administration for the totally unprepared.
I've suddenly become the system administrator for a computational server. What do I need to do? [more inside]
Traveling with computer equipment
I have some expensive electronics I want to (occasionally) travel with. Do I buy a pelican case and insure the hell out of it? Or ship myself (Probably again, in pelican cases, or mention a cheaper alternative please!) [more inside]
I hate when people give me the frozen smile say and "you look great!"
This was me three months ago.
Nothing has changed except I've gained five more pounds. People who haven't seen me in a while are taken aback. [more inside]
Vicarious Mending and Making Do
What novels can you recommend from 1850 and later that feature descriptions of female wardrobe planning and refashioning? [more inside]
What should I read before I become a new manager?
In a few weeks, I'll be starting a new job, as the manager of a nascent research program at a medium-sized nonprofit. What should I read to get ready? [more inside]
Conspiracy theory paper flyers
I need some visual examples of amateurish paper flyers promoting conspiracy theories, for aesthetic inspiration. Have to be paper, not memes. [more inside]
Please help restore my faith in humanity
For Reasons, I am reading “Love Thy Neighbor” by Peter Maas, which is a reporter’s account of the Bosnian genocide. Please recommend things that will bring me back from...that.
Also looking for a sense of optimism, if you’ve got that on tap.
(Maas’s book was recommended here along with some others; they’re all great, hence the need for this ask.)
What is this children's book?
Help me remember the name of my favorite book as a child, about a dog recognizing landmarks to find his way home [more inside]
Give me your hookiest hooks!
I'm looking for songs with irresistible hooks. Give me your favorites, please! [more inside]
Power my pedalboard
Electric guitar nerd filter: I’m upgrading my pedalboard and I want to defeat electrical noise at bar gigs. Help me get up to speed on power supply options please? [more inside]
What happens when church gets interrupted?
What happens if someone has a heart attack during a church service? [more inside]
The Kafka Stick
The current issue of Harper's has an article by Christian Lorentzen decrying the state of book reviews. He criticizes, among other things, "slapping a conventional novelist with the Kafka stick."
What does that even mean? I am a big Kafka fan, but I can't decipher this phrase.
What is the best way to donate Physiohterapy equipment?
I have a bathtub chair, toilet seat ( camode like) and a walker. I'm looking for ideas on the best place I should offer them to a charity, or something else?
1000 Island or Russian?
Is the uber-Rueben made with 1000 Island or Russian? Is it regional?
Oxford comma and quotation marks
Help me win an oxford comma argument! [more inside]
What are the best canned sardines?
I've tried Google, but the results seem to be corporate manufactured spam. My favorite is King Oscar brisling (sprats), but I am wondering what people around the word prefer. Opinions about smoked herring are also welcome.
seeking decent DC-area psychiatrist
My best friend is at her wit's end with her current psych doc and the last one was even worse. Anyone have any personal recommendation for good psychiatrists in the area, preferably in northern VA? Even better if they actually take BlueCrossFed insurance. This is starting to feel like an unwinnable game
Fractions and decimals for a kid who doesn't like math
Recommendations wanted: Math materials for a grade 5 kid, studying fractions and decimals, who doesn't like math. Other interests: Reading, lego, super heroes, history, geography.
What to do before moving everything into a new home?
We've got a couple of weeks between taking possession of our new home and having to move out of my current apartment. What do you wish you'd been able to do while your place was still empty? [more inside]
Dog hurt itself, acting spooked/scared towards owners - why?
Our dog smacked it's head (on it's own), and my guess is that she thinks I/we did it. She reacted really strongly to this and we're kind of wondering what exactly is going on with her. [more inside]
Seeking app/platform for something like surveys
Need more robust platform with workflow and somewhat advanced tracking capabilities. [more inside]
whither the dad group
What online or NYC dad groups exist that aren't just pits of barely-restrained of toxic straight male behavior or based entirely around drinking? Where are the "mom group" equivalents for dads that just foster discussion and support rather than Replying To Memes and Complaining About The Wife and so on? Where are the forums that you can't find easily by Googling? [more inside]
Please help me expand my game addiction to my Android phone.
I am addicted to this ancient PC game called Tip Top.. I love it so much, but it only plays on a PC. [more inside]
Safe way to pay rent electronically?
I'm wondering if there's a secure, fee-free way to send rent electronically these days? I'm renting from the condo owner, who lives in another state (I'm in Colorado). The warnings that I see are geared towards landlords, but I'm curious if I run any risks by paying rent through Venmo, Paypal, etc. If so, are there better options than mailing a check? I've moved in and paid first month's rent via check. Thank you!
Help me build the absolute best litter box setup.
I would like to own the absolute best litter box setup for my 3 awesome cats who are forced to deal with a time-strapped overworked human servant. [more inside]
Brevity.
I am a concise writer, but a rambling talker. I have some meetings coming up where I'd particularly like to be concise in my speech. If you were a rambler, how did you tame your tongue? [more inside]
Help me break up a long car trip with kids
It's looking likely that I will have a ~9+ hour car trip w/my 6 and 8 year olds ahead of me this summer, driving from DC to Cape Cod. Looking for suggestions for unusual, not-to-miss things along the way, and a good place to stop overnight near the halfway point. [more inside]
How to write more secure code?
No matter how fancy the password checking scheme is, or how many encryption steps it involves, isn't there usually a single "if" statement somewhere? If so, other security vulnerabilities could allow that to be overwritten pretty simply, to skip the check. How could code be written more securely? [more inside]
Help me look like a lawyer for the least amount of effort!
I am a 37 year old newly professional woman. I have never needed a suit, so I'm lost. I'll be working in a courtroom from now on, and I need to look like a lawyer. Matching everything please! [more inside]
Tips for the Games Selling Game
I have a large collection of used games which it is time to begin selling off. I'm not in a hurry, nor do I expect to get rich, but I would like to maximize my return on my products and effort. Do you have any knowledge or experience in this area? [more inside]
Paris food/experience gift
A friend’s 40th happens while she’s in Paris. Help me gift her a food or event experience! [more inside]
Dreamy psychedelic rock, 1966 to present
I'm looking for a specific kind of psychedelic rock song, or its children or grandchildren from subsequent generations. [more inside]
Insomnia -- sleep restriction troubleshooting/support
I suffer from insomnia and I'm three weeks into self-directed CBT-I and sleep restriction. I'm feeling awful and unsuccessful, and I could use some help from those who tried them. [more inside]
Self-improvement sources for a total self-destructive guy
Please help me help a friend. [more inside]
songs where the singer gets tired of singing?
I'm looking for examples of songs where the singer at some point goes "la la la" or hums the tune or just sort of mumbles the words, as if they've forgotten the words or just lost interest in them. Specifically, as a way of expressing the mood of the song - not novelty songs that do it to be funny.
Protesting The Times: Westminster Zoo commercial
Yesterday I went to the cinema and saw a new advert for The Times newspaper. It portrays MPs in the House Of Commons as chaotic animals, then in come the lion and the unicorn and sort them out. The lion and the unicorn are heraldic symbols of the UK and figure on The Times' masthead.
I read this advert as chockfull of fascistic dogwhistles and want to complain. Please give advice how to make an effective and public complaint. [more inside]
What kind of spider laid these eggs?
I’m cleaning out a wooden dresser that’s been in storage, and found a ton of spider egg sacs, which I collected to either relocate safely (fond thoughts of Charlotte) or dispose of if they’re going to be a danger to me or my pets when they hatch. I’m having trouble identifying them, though. Spiderfilter, help me out? [more inside]
March 19
Do they have trolly-cart-tokens in Japan?
I will be doing a half-hour presentation about my organisation tomorrow at our "sister" organisations office. They are receiving guests from Japan who want to know more about how we work. I want to give them a small present. Questions on both the gift and the giving inside. [more inside]
Help Me Find a Thesis Written in Psychology About Maternal/Infant Gazing
The thesis resides somewhere on the internets in PDF format, written by a man for a doctorate in psychology about the hypothesis that a mother's emotional state can negatively influence her infant with initial eye contact, and through this relay a so-called *evil eye*. [more inside]
Meal Planning 2.0
I'm looking for an app that I can populate with my own recipes, and will generate a meal plan for the week. There are too many apps out there, so I need you fine people to help find the right one for me. [more inside]
Why won't ThredUp take my money?
Does ThredUp really ship to Canada? Do they ship to Canada but not take Canadian credit cards? They have multiple payment methods available and I've tried everything. [more inside]
How could Theranos have proved tech without revealing trade secrets?
Suppose Theranos actually had been able to match traditional venous blood tests using capillary finger-stick blood. How could they have convinced the medical/bio-tech establishment that it was real without letting Siemens/Lab Corp/Quest Diag. use their method? [more inside]
Puzzles! Tricks! Traps!
Recommendations for puzzle-rooms and dungeon encounters? I've poked around on DriveThru but would appreciate pointers towards anything good, either online or in hard copy. [more inside]
Temp agency giving me runaround and I'm not getting paid
Hi. I started a temp assignment roughly three weeks ago. I received my initial paycheck without incident. However, after closing my account at my old bank on Saturday the 9th, I opened a new one at a more conveniently located bank on Tuesday the 12th – a week ago as I type this – and promptly updated my direct deposit information accordingly. I haven't received a dime since. [more inside]
Is my boss trying to get rid of me?
At my bi-annual performance review in February my boss brought up that I have been in this job nearly two years (it has been 1 year and 6 months or so) and asked if I had thought about my next steps in my career. I replied that I had some ambitions (to achieve the next level up for example) but that I did not intend on
moving from my role soon because I was still learning. [more inside]
Okay how does this unmarked Japanese AC/Heater work?
So the Beaver heater/AC in my new bedroom in Japan has a wired remote. Pic of AC and a Pic of Remote. It's got a bunch of sliders that do...something. I can't figure out what. Once it had some kind of panel on it that explained what things did. It doesn't now. So first, what model is this thing? Second, what DID it say on the remote? And third, roughly translated, what does that mean in ENGLISH? Please help. It's cold here.
Cyclone Idai help
In view of events in Mozambique and beyond, I was wondering if there are Mefites who are knowledgeable about the region and who can advise on help. [more inside]
i want shoes that are both cute and wide
I need advice on shoes, specifically where to find shoes that will fit my unusually wide/tall feet and will look at least slightly professional and feminine, and be comfortable enough to wear all day in an office job. [more inside]
Name (and kill) this Texas weed
My family yard has been overtaken by this leafy plant with small yellow flower-things: album with bonus stretchy kitty photo. The location is west Texas, near the east New Mexico border. Most of the plants are only a few inches tall, but some have grown to an alarming thick bushy height of around 2 feet tall. What is this weed, and how best should we kill it? Complications: 1)Hand-pulling weeds is not ideal for the adults involved, due to a combination of disabilities and plant allergies; 2)I don't want to poison the numerous neighborhood cats, including my photo model.
Annatto seed vs Annotto powder
How do I appropriately substitute Annatto powder for Annatto seed? [more inside]
rock my April 1st
Help me fool my partner on April Fool's Day, rockstar edition. [more inside]
Fun things for group meetings!
I run a weekly meeting and like to bring fun things. What can I bring? [more inside]
music like Flowers and Sea Creatures.
I really like Flowers and Sea Creatures. Any suggestions for other music I might like?
What text has been read clearer by modern readers?
I'm looking for examples of writers who were better understood by later readers than their contemporaries. Of course, this is needfully subjective, but I'd like to know what folks you might reasonably imagine smiling (like, if they were a ghost) that their truth had finally been read and understood in their written lines by subsequent generations of readers. [more inside]
Simpsons Performing In Red and White Stripes?
I am trying to find a scene from The Simpsons, where the whole (or most of the) family is performing a song and dance number in red-and-white striped outfits with vests, that sparkle. They also do that heavy-breathing thing while they stand motionless with their arms out after finishing, which I don't know what to call and is a trope the writers have used at least a few times throughout the series. [more inside]
I may not DRINK like an alcoholic, but I THINK like one
For year's I've used alcohol in moderation, but almost every day. Now that I'm not drinking, I'd like to find resources and support that help me change the ways I think, act, and cope with difficult feelings. I'm looking for memoirs, novels, self-help books, etc. about what it means to live in "sobriety" - but defined more broadly that simply abstaining from alcohol. [more inside]
“I was very careful never to take an interesting job.”
What sorts of jobs would pay the bills but won’t chew up and consume the best parts of me? [more inside]
Is this normal with Lemi Shine?
I've been using Lemi Shine in my dishwasher for a while now but only recently have I begun noticing that some items are coming out literally squeaky clean. [more inside]
Wool socks for summer?
I have almost no summer socks due to the vile preppy practice of wearing my summer shoes without socks. I'd like to have some summer socks. Should they be wool or not? Where should I buy them? [more inside]
Possibly leaving for Denver after half a century in my hometown.
So back in 2015, I posted that we might have to leave Jacksonville in the next five years due to Mrs. Mosley's career. Four years later, it looks like time might be up. Back then it looked like it might be Dallas, but a new and exciting career opportunity has presented itself to her in somewhere we weren't looking: Denver. [more inside]
More self selecting, mostly women spaces/events?
Went to a wool and fiber show the other week with my bestie, and found I really loved the atmosphere. A large majority of the vendors were women, and the same for the punters, which got me wondering, what are some other kind of gatherings/spaces/events which attract (mostly) women? [more inside]
What are some terribly designed but wildly successful objects?
As I struggled to get the ketchup out of the glass bottle for the eleventy-billionth time, I wondered what other objects are so poorly designed and unfit for purpose but have persisted despite--or perhaps because of--their design flaws. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Resources to improve graphic design handling of complex events
I work for a small local organization and we put together events that combine a lot of different elements: information about the event, logos from partner organizations... plus maybe a book cover, a film poster, the panelists' photos, etc. Putting all of these elements together into a readable flyer or event page that also includes my org's "branding" has been difficult. The graphic design books I've read seem to deal with more pure graphical situations, not this combo of elements and colors. Have you seen books or articles that address these factors?
Summer Workshops in Europe
I’m looking for a week-long educational course in Europe this July. Similar to this ask from a few years ago, I’d like to find a place to work on/learn a craft (embroidery, textile dyeing, woodwork, paper, bookmaking, weaving, beadwork, etc.). [more inside]
Intermittent Fasting / Time-Restricted Eating Affecting Body Smell?
I've been doing intermittent fasting / time-restricted eating / Leangains / 16:8 for about a year and it's working well, except for one thing: an intimate partner has recently let me know (gently) that the regimen seems to have altered the smell of my body and breath, and not in a particularly pleasant way. What can I do about this? Thanks!
Very long, hands-off fermentation suggestions?
I am a person who likes experimenting with lacto fermentation and also a person who will be traveling for a month soon, is there anything I can start now that will be delicious when I get back? [more inside]
How do we decree custody of our minor child?
My wife and I want to draft a document decreeing what will happen if both of us die at the same time while our child is a minor. We'd like to avoid drafting two individual wills if possible. What is the best legal option for us? We'd like to do this online if possible. YNML, etc. Thanks.
Large format Pinterest?
I'm looking for an alternative to Pinterest that will allow me to save photos in albums/groupings, but will display them by default as full-size or at least page-width. Something like The Big Picture (but hopefully with even bigger pictures) where I can just scroll through a long list of photos. I don't need any of Pinterest's social or suggestion features and my "page" can be either private or public, but needs to be accessible on multiple computers. [more inside]
Resume help, tricky edition.
How can I best show my current and rather odd employment situation on my resume and LinkedIn? [more inside]
Me Talk Pretty One Day
Can you point me to journals/magazines/newspapers with a higher reading level? [more inside]
Lady crooners wanted
looking for lady crooner singers... Examples within. [more inside]
Women, talking about being women
About 15 years ago or more, my mother quoted one of those middle-class white lady writers at me (Nora Ephron or Joan Didion or someone whose name I can't conjure, maybe) saying something along the lines of "any woman widowed after 50 years of marriage to the same man has been divorced several times". It was much better expressed, but it's the sort of thing that Google can't help me with. Anyone recall one of those white middle class writer ladies of a certain time and place writing something along those lines?
Women who rock.
Please recommend female singer-songwriters who play a mean guitar. For example Meg Myers, Emma Ruth Rundle, St. Vincent… [more inside]
He's coming! Quick, everybody up on the crosses!
When entering a building or quick-traveling to a location in Fallout 3 or Fallout: New Vegas on PC, I have noticed that sometimes items in the new location either jump from ground level to where they're supposed to be, or appear to be falling to the ground right as I arrive. I'm hoping someone could explain what the game is doing when this happens, and why the game has to generate items and then move them, rather than generating them already in place. [more inside]
Any cool anecdotes about requiems?
I'm beginning the final chapter of a novel, and I'd like to begin with an anecdote about requiems in the Catholic mass. [more inside]
How to pee pad
My old dog is still peeing on the carpet, and she's now on barbiturates which is making it worse. It's only on carpet/rugs and only when I'm gone. Given that she clearly knows this is not allowed, how can I train her to use a pee pad instead of the carpet when I'm gone, while not conveying that peeing inside is okay? [more inside]
The Invisible Woman
I'm in my 40s and feeling a bit shit about being invisible. I need art by women who are currently in their 40s. Strong preference for visual art in traditional mediums.
What to serve with hot borscht and rye bread
I'm making hot borscht and rye bread for dinner tonight. What third thing should I serve with it? [more inside]
Recommendations for Purchasing A Yoga Mat
Like it says on the tin, I need help finding and purchasing a yoga mat. Can you provide me advice on what to look for and/or recommend a particular yoga mat to me? My budget is $100. [more inside]
Recipes for Delicious African Sweets
I need some recommendations for African (any country of origin) desserts that can be made easily and served on a napkin. Help!! [more inside]
What's the best way to play guitar through my phone?
I'm seeking recommendations for a hardware interface that'll make it easy to play guitar through headphones (and maybe also an amp) using my smartphone (a Galaxy S9+) to provide effects, amp simulation, etc. [more inside]
Gmail - Blocking Email Address
Looking to block someones email address in Gmail. [more inside]
Neck pain every morning
I stayed at a hotel recently and woke up every morning with a sore neck on the right side. The hotel pillows were small and square rather than the standard size, and I figured either their size or maybe their shallowness was bugging me. But I've returned home to my usual pillows where I have never had a problem in my life, and I'm still waking up every morning with neck pain on the right side! What is going on? [more inside]
March 18
I wish I was a little bit taller, not really, just faster.
I am competing in a 10k this Sunday. Due to my wave assignment, my average pace leaves little margin to finish. Tips and tricks for gaining a tiny bit of speed this week? [more inside]
iced tea/refreshing low or zero calorie summer drinks
I drink multiple cups of hot decaffeinated/herbal tea a day but this is much less enjoyable in the summer, when my apartment gets unlivably, beastly hot. I'm looking for suggestions/recipes for what to replace this habit with - something with fairly strong flavors and low or zero calories. [more inside]
For the first time in my life I need sunglasses!
I've been bespectacled person since elementary school and sunglasses have always seemed unnecessary/out of reach. I've been driving for almost 3 years now and I am finally at a point where I admit that I need sunglasses. I made the mistake of driving west during sunset today and I regretted it because I had no sunglasses. How do people with prescription glasses make sunglasses work? What are my options? [more inside]
Need SFW video to rebut Jordan Peterson toxicity at work
I'm looking for a safe for work video that I can integrate into a presentation explaining why Jordan Peterson's rhetoric is harmful. Hope me. [more inside]
Accidentally amended my taxes on H&R Block... did they actually send it?
To keep it short and sufficient, I filed in February, then learned I possibly could have to amend. Filled out experimental amounts to see what my new liability could be, now it seems the amended return(s) were sent, confusingly on H&R's website. [more inside]
Feeling stuck at 40 years old
I've been a copywriter for over a decade for an in-house advertising department for a big corporation. It looks like my job is going away in the next 6-9 months, and I'm weighing my options on what to do next. [more inside]
I don't want my physical therapist anymore, I want her boss
I think my physical therapist is too inexperienced and she is definitely not helping me. How can I ask to see her boss instead? [more inside]
Maintaining cyber privacy while online dating
I've recently started online dating. The last time I did this was in 2003. The interconnectedness of the various social medias plus embedded location tracking has it feeling DRAMATICALLY different from a privacy and safety standpoint than it did my first time around, and I've already unintentionally exposed myself in a couple ways that have left me feeling a little freaked out. What should I be doing/thinking about to keep myself safe and/or not share certain details about myself before I'm ready? What am I not thinking about or may not be aware of? [more inside]
Oreos without the cream filling, please
I like the taste of the chocolate biscuits that are the outer layers of Oreos. I do not like the filling - it is far too sweet for me, and I have to scrape it off. How do I get my hands on cookies (biscuits) that are basically Oreos without the filling? [more inside]
Sensory Issues and sudden Stuttering?
Our son will be 4 in July and has sensory issues. I felt he was really regulated the last couple of months but suddenly about a week ago he started stuttering, like, a lot. I'm going to ask our OT about it but has anyone experienced this and can maybe give some insight? Should I book into speech therapy, like right now? Or chill about it? [more inside]
Do you have any Ronettes related musical recommendations?
I'd like to get recommendations for songs and musical acts that evoke the sound of the Ronettes within the rock/alternative/and I guess indie pop* genres. [more inside]
Should I learn accounting?
Can a layperson learn accounting to the point where they can truly understand it? And is it a good use of one's time? [more inside]
Who actually OWNS my company?
About three years ago, I set up a small business as an LLC. The intention was that it would be a partnership between myself and my wife, but I'm not sure we set it up that way. Now I'm trying to figure out who actually owns the company and how to fix it if necessary. [more inside]
How to store mold-exposed stuff in the basement?
My friend has been living in an apartment that’s had a few bouts of mold on the walls. Now they are moving and we are planning to store some of their boxed belongings in our dry basement. Is there reason to worry about mold contamination coming into our house? And if so, would it be contained by using plastic boxes (instead of cardboard ones)?
Traveling around Canada for the mostly carless — ideas?
BF and I are planning a trip to Canada, using Montreal as our HQ. We'd like to spend a few days there, maybe hit Ottawa or Toronto as well, and see some nature while we're at it. Difficulties: we're pretty ignorant about what to actually see and do in Canada, and we'd like to do all of the above while driving as little as possible. Help? [more inside]
Telemarketing spam is taking over my phone.
I've gotten six calls from some random telemarketer company in the last hour and a half -- they identify themselves as a different company each time, calling for someone else, using randomized numbers. This has been going on for the past 4-5 days. Sometimes there are 20 calls in a day. [more inside]
Where to live in NYC if I’m remote?
I have the possibility of working remote and “sometimes” going to the office or client meetings. Most likely this would be in midtown. At this point in my life I’d like to have amenities and space over a studio. I’m not tied NYC, Jersey works fine. I like the Boerum Hill area, but I’m guess that’s over my 3k budget. Since it is a work from situation I’d like to have a second bedroom/office. [more inside]
How to automatically reconcile an inventory scan
I am looking for a program (not web-based) that will let me upload a .csv with different SKUs and expected quantities. Then I want to be able to scan barcodes and have the match tracked against the uploaded data. After the scan, I want to see a list of everything not scanned, including if I am missing 1 of 5 expected items. I don't know what to start searching for. Or if this is something I can do with Excel, I'd like to know how to do that, too.
Films by French filmmakers about America?
Preferably filmed in America. [more inside]
Recent literary fiction with NO romance
I am looking for recommendations of recent non-genre fiction. I'm going through a divorce, and I don't want to read anything about romantic relationships. I don't want to read about dating, "friends with benefits," engagements, entanglements, "the one that got away," marriages, breakups, divorce or (and maybe especially) recovery from or the aftermath of those things. It's easy to find genre fiction that doesn't have these elements, but it's harder to find literary fiction without them. Hit me.
Flying while binding, UK/Ireland edition
On Wednesday I'm flying from Stansted to Dublin, and then back again on Saturday. This is my first time flying while also wearing a binder, do I need to be concerned about anything in particular? [more inside]
curtain conundrum
I have a set of curtains with eyelet rings. I have a set of windows where--due to the previous owners 70's-era sensibilities--the only way to hang curtains is with hooks that then attach to a curtain runner. Is there a way to convert the eyelet curtains so I can use them on those windows? [more inside]
March 17
Working through an existential crisis, still
I'm dealing with an existential crisis and am not sure humanism is still a mindset that works for me anymore. I'm reading about religion and spirituality at the moment to see if I can experience subjective divine experience (about the only framework I think I could understand God or some kind of cosmic order through). I'm also considering psychedelics. I can function at work but the rest of my life is getting strained. What are good resources to help me through this? [more inside]
How to mail GF baked goods for peak freshness
I would really like to mail some gluten-free cookies to my long-distance faraway sweetheart. Is this even really possible to do in a way that keeps them somewhat fresh? I would probably make oatmeal cookies from a Minimalist Baker recipe that I add dried fruit and pumpkin seeds to. What's the best plan for packaging, mailing, etc? What has worked for you? Thanks Metafilter!
What does a healthy 1000-calorie meal look like?
What are some examples of healthy 1000-calorie meals for a professional athlete? [more inside]
How can I stop tripping all the time?
I have a problem where every few weeks I will trip and cause a minor sprain to my left foot. Help me fix my coordination issues. [more inside]
Consigned guitar, seller can't find it: I just want my money (Toronto)
In October I consigned an Fender American Telecaster to what I thought was a reputable dealer in Toronto. They said they'd have it sold and a cheque in two months. No cheque, calls are avoided, e-mails not returned. I need the money. Next steps? [more inside]
What are some niche hobbies you've come across?
From creating board games from scratch, to building music instruments using pencils, what are some fun relatively inexpensive hobbies that are even more niche/unknown/unexplored? Bonus points if the hobby has available literature on it.
citizen oversight for municipal budget
Is there such a thing as a Citizen Oversight Board for a city's budget? There are examples for police misconduct, but are there any such boards for fiscal oversight?
Don't freeze my kale!
We have a side by side refrigerator freezer. The last week or so the meat and produce drawers have been freezing. What do we do? [more inside]
Half marathon on Sunday and I am woefully under-trained
I am flying to California for a girl's weekend that revolves around a half marathon. Despite the best of intentions, I have not trained nearly as much as I should. As in, I haven't done more than 6 or 7 miles of jog/walking. My plan was always to jog/walk the half, but now I'm doubting my ability to do that. Should I downgrade to the 5k, disappoint myself, and admit defeat, or just try to walk the whole thing and hope for the best? [more inside]
Seeking tips for increasing productivity and saving time in daily life
The question title pretty much says it all (how's that for efficiency!), but more details below. [more inside]
Did you successfully navigate teen phone use?
Parents of teens or young adults--how did you successfully (or unsuccessfully) guide your teenager with their phone use? I know about some apps and we had a phone contract at some point, but the whole situation has slid into 24/7 phone time now that I'm working more. Help! [more inside]
In some other language, please?
It's common in, but not limited to, a science-fiction setting for one person to give a long-winded technical explanation of something and someone else asks "In English, please?" Lots of examples discussed here. How is this phrased in other languages? [more inside]
Packing light -- special snowflake
I am going on a plane next week. Last week I was injured and will not be able to lift anything more than 10 pounds (let alone an overhead bin). I don't want to check a bag nor use my roller bag. [more inside]
poncho-thing to shield from wood dust
Wood allergy— easily get headaches and nausea from inhaling even small amounts of airborne dust when using chop saw, table saw, sander.
I want to see if a quick-to-put-on smock-overshirt type thing that I can throw on/off will help. [more inside]
How do I buy a bridesmaid dress when I may or may not get pregnant?
I need some help considering different bridesmaid dress options given that I may or may not be pregnant on the wedding day. [more inside]
Job hunting with cancer
I was recently diagnosed with cancer, and am trying to get hired permanently in my current temporary job. What and when do I disclose to my current/potential employer? I have already interviewed for the job, and am waiting for them to make a decision, which should happen in the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile, I just learned that I have cancer and got scheduled for surgery in two weeks. Surgery that will likely take 6-8 weeks to recover from. And I was just out for two weeks to have the surgery that incidentally found I have cancer. I don't actually know for sure what will happen--I'm seeing oncologists next week, but the one I'll most likely go with went ahead and scheduled me for surgery based on the pathology report. Note: I have got to get this job. I have no other means of support or health insurance.
Sealed butcher block countertops - yea or nay?
We're getting close to a kitchen renovation and I need opinions on sealed butcher block. I love the look of the wood, but it will be directly next to a sink and gas stove. We would seal it with something like Waterlox. It will not be a cutting surface (I have Formica now, so am used to using cutting boards and trivets). Can anyone report on how their sealed butcher block has held up next to a sink over time? And is your sink top mounted or undermounted? [more inside]
What to do with young-ish kids in San Diego in late March?
I'm taking my girls, ages 6 & 9, to San Diego for five days (including travel) at the end of March. I haven't been there since I was 6 myself. Trying to plan an itinerary. [more inside]
Help me think about thinking about getting a house in Spain 1 location
Mr LB gets SAD. A recent holiday in the sun very much perked him up, so his wondering about getting a place to spend time at in winter seems to be something we need to look at. Don't worry about impending Brexit as this is a longer-term project so we can wait and see what happens. Must-haves and hopes below. Where do you suggest having a look at in Spain? [more inside]
The other type of scone
When I was a kid in California ('80s/'90s), some cafés had a type of "scone" that was dome-shaped and relatively smooth, with a tender crumb and almost a skin (and usually berries or chunks of fruit mixed in). This is in contrast to the probably more authentically British style that is more rough and nubbly and dry. Same genus, different species. Both have a similar baking powder tang.
Anyone know what I'm talking about? And if so, do you have a recipe for the kind I'm remembering?
I broke the shark game. Explain how and how/if I can fix it?
So as you know, I've been playing the Shark Game. I recently got "lots" of everything, which is at least a nonillion (10^30). I decided that since I can view the specific amounts in the log, my new goal would be to get a googol of everything (10^100). I left it running with an auto-clicker overnight that would triple my total resources every few seconds. Now the log lists some of my resources as "infinity". However, I can't seem to use those resources to buy anything. [more inside]
My Brain Won't Ever Shut Up & It Is Ruining My Life
I am a middle aged man with lifelong depression, OCD and anxiety. I have been through multiple therapists and tried numerous medications over the years. What do I do now? Am I doomed to feel this way for the rest of my life? [more inside]
How to fix battery corrosion in Walkman battery pack?
I opened up my Walkman Pro (WM-D6C) and found that, however long ago I'd last used it, a) I'd left batteries in the battery pack, and b) they corroded. I cleaned it up a bit and tried new batteries, but no luck. (The unit's otherwise functional, as it works with the AC adapter) Here are some photos of the unit: https://imgur.com/a/zBoOyfq [more inside]
How are boxes typically kept while being mailed?
I am shipping something that would ideally stay in a specific temperature range. I know about heat packs and cold packs and overnight shipping, but this question is not about any of that. I just want to know - when a box is shipped, what does its transit tend to look like from a temperature perspective around the outside of the box? [more inside]
Looking for comfortable outdoor shoes that look nice enough for dinner
I'm looking for what may be an impossible hybrid: Shoes that are appropriate for a light trail hike, but also look nice or at least unobtrusive enough to wear with nicer clothes to go into town for dinner. Most "walking shoes" are either too flimsy or too nice for off-sidewalk adventures, or are too ugly for me to consider wearing them with nicer clothes, but I'm open to any and all suggestions! Womens 9-9.5 if it's relevant. Low boots are OK, too.
asthma and traffic
Have there been any studies on the relationship between the two?
Stage make-up recommendations, copious sweat edition
My ballet teacher asked me to be in the year end recital; putting my 43 year old ass into a white tutu also means I'll have to do some form of stage makeup. My makeup stash is non-existent thanks to my wee tots smearing what little I had all over their face/body/hair/bathroom. Please give me your product suggestions and techniques. [more inside]
Show Me How To Fight
The scene in Fury Road where Max fights Furiousa is one of the best fight scenes I've ever seen. It's in broad daylight, with multiple characters and agendas, yet it's always crystal clear who's doing what and why, while the various personalities of the characters and their motivations make perfect sense.
Show me other fight scenes with such clarity please.
Give me hope: tapering off SSRIs
I think I'm ready to quit, but all the stories I've found so far are of people in the middle of withdrawal and freaking out about it... [more inside]
Looking for divorce lawyer and resources in Ithaca New York
Unfortunately, my good friend is suddenly in need of a divorce attorney in Ithaca, New York. Looking for recommendations and any other resources. [more inside]
Advice for going back to work after mental health leave
If you took a leave of absence from your stressful job for a couple of months, what steps did you take to ease the transition back to full-time work? Bonus: bipolar disorder [more inside]
Trauma/Drama
I don’t want to be the center of attention anymore, even though that’s what got me through hard times—friends and family recognizing that I was in crisis and showering me with love and support. The hard times are probably over; how do I keep myself from reliving the patterns I’ve been in? [more inside]
Give me not-too-complicated recipes for Asian noodle soup dishes
Looking for recipes for dishes with the same sort of format as pho and ramen (bowl, liquid, noodles, chopsticks, Chinese spoon).
Ideally not too complicated (I think making my own stock might be too complicated) and without too many hard-to-get ingredients (I have access to an Asian supermarket but live in a small UK city so not sure how good it is).
Thank you!
Remote Desktop Connection Through Access point?
Put my Desktop on an access point and now Remote Desktop Connection fails. Halp? [more inside]
Bring them breakfast muffin recipes (aka when your baby is a lark)
Now that kiddo had been waking up at 4 a.m. for the past week (hi jetlag), occured to me that I might as well use the time to make lemonade out of a lemony situation and bake! and be less of a sourpuss myself.
So, hit me up with your favorite breakfast muffin/cookie/crumpet/othersuchthing recipes. [more inside]
March 16
Phone call transferred to international line - fees?
I am located in the United States. I called a 1-800 number and they said they'd have to transfer me to their New Zealand number. Will I be charged as if I had called New Zealand directly? [more inside]
Help me shut this doll up fast
Kid bought giant plastic doll in Istanbul, we discovered it has a touch voicebox on the belly that shouts in Turkish. In three hours we are at a long serious church service and she desperately wants to bring the doll with her. How do I silence the doll? Google just returns endless creepy doll movie and trachetomy care results, and I have a weeping child with a giant screaming Turkish doll on my hands. HELP
Nothing happened between a coworker and myself, so why is it so awkward?
Coworkers are gossiping that something happened between a male coworker and myself, but we don't even talk. Snowflakes inside... [more inside]
I do Not want to be Lord of the Flies!
The “parrot house” suddenly has an annoying new species....small flies ( not fruit flies but ones I think people call helicopter flies). I suspect they arrived in a bale of straw that has been moved outside. Spring bounced on Oregon this week, creating the swarm and giving me the chance to open windows and doors for thorough cleaning. [more inside]
Using bedrest for the best (face, hair, stress...)
I will be on bedrest for a while. What kinds of things can I do to my face, hair, stress, etc. that make use of sitting and sleeping a lot, and of not needing to go out in public/it is okay to do things that are good for me but look ridiculous? [more inside]
Should I go to the wedding ?
The bride had a problem with me, should I still go? [more inside]
Defamation as Artistic License in Film
Howdy MeFites! I’ve recently become interested in the use of defamation of real, historic figures depicted in motion pictures as a form of “artistic license”. I’d very much appreciate recommendations of other examples. [more inside]
What kind of 9x13 oven pan/dish should I get? (EU)
I need a 9x13 size oven pan or dish, but I'd like to buy just one for both dessert baking and casserole style dishes that call for that size. Is that workable? Right now I'm looking at two very different things: this baking tin (pro: inexpensive! it has a lid! con: non-stick finish, will eventually need to be replaced; too thin for casserole type dishes?) and this enameled cast iron baking dish (pro: should be a buy-once item -- done and dusted. cons: can't tell what the depth is -- maybe too high and therefore a problem (idk!) for baked goods? is cast iron not great for things like cakes?) [more inside]
Funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting
I have looked through the 2020 budget from President Trump trying to find information on funding for CPB. Neither the Departments of HHS, Labor, and Education; the agencies on the sub committee from which CPB funding comes, make mention of support for the agency that supports NPR and PBS. [more inside]
Is it safe to travel in Guatemala right now?
I’d really like to see beautiful Guatemala this spring. I noticed, though, that there’s a US travel advisory to “exercise increased caution due to crime” as well as an advisory to “reconsider travel” to certain areas in the country, including Guatemala Department, which includes the airport where I’m landing. I’m wondering if I should reconsider going? [more inside]
What kinds of things to do you to lessen menstruation symptoms/PMS?
I'm curious if you have monthly go-tos that coincide with your cycle that seem to help lessen hormonal swings/PMS symptoms, etc.. I would love to have a list of things that I should *do* during parts of my cycle or at least try. So much... [more inside]
Help me get organized!
The amount of tasks and projects I'm involved in with work have slowly increased, while my limited to non-existent organizational skills have remained the same. Help me find a tool or technique to keep it all together! [more inside]
Help me find a drawing app to design some counted canvas needlework
Looking for some software that is just like drawing on graph paper so I can mark out some needlework designs. [more inside]
What websites did Homestuck's Cascade animation crash?
So, I know many of the details on this. I know it took down mspaintadventures.com, Newgrounds, and MegaUpload. I thought I remembered hearing somewhere that Tumblr and LiveJournal crashed too, but I'm not sure of that. What I'd like to know, is exactly what was the fallout from "The Flash that Broke the Internet"? [more inside]
March 15
Best affordable tablet for occasional sales using Square?
What is a good, affordable (or downright cheap) tablet that I can use to do occasional public sales on using Square? I have an iPad, which runs perfectly for this, and is great for heavy use, but looking for a cheaper alternative to supplement for just a handful of events. Must have a headphone jack for the scanner/swiper, a camera for occasional barcode scanning, and of course be able to use Square. I see super cheap tablets for $50, but am afraid those may be unreliable.
Looking for music video
Where the drummer is on the ceiling upside-down and possibly spinning around. I think it was a video made from a live show. The music is heavy metal and in a European language.
Cons of abortion counter-protesting
I was reading this twitter thread that was linked to in the comments about the mansplaining poem and the author wrote that counter-protesting abortion clinic harassers does not work. Where can I find more to read about this? [more inside]
Does SnoreAid work?
SnoreAid is a passive device that goes into your nostrils.
I've tried the Breathe Right strips which did not work. Has anyone tried SnoreAid, and if so how effective is it?
Is the explanation "While working in unison, the above-stated elements of our device will increase your air intake without letting such excess air escape. As a result, more air is taken in, than lost; thus, creating a positive air pressure build-up" just BS because breathing doesn’t work that way?
Switch RPG Recommendation
I'd like to jump into a big JRPG on the Switch. What's the best entry point into modern or relatively modern JRPGs on Switch? Anything post FF7 without required crafting or loot-box mechanics. [more inside]
Printer for a low-voltage, low-printing household
Seeking advice, recommendations, and experiences regarding printers for situations where the printing demand is low but urgent, and grid power is not available. [more inside]
Looking for musical practice software
I'm looking for software that I can hook up to a MIDI keyboard, which will drill me on scales, keys, chords, and other basic music theory stuff. Sort of like those typing games that flash words on the screen, and score you on speed and accuracy – but for music. Does such a thing exist? [more inside]
Why isn't there momentum for Remain
Why do British citizens continue to support Brexit? Why do MPs continue to support Brexit? Why isn't there growing political momentum for Remain? Why is there no political party or faction taking up the cause to Remain in light of the epic incompetence and dishonesty on the Brexit side? [more inside]
April Chicago trip with Kid. What do?
We are headed to Chicago second week in April with a 10 year old.
I've always wanted to take him to the Field museum so that is on the list.
What else is a really terrific and uniquely Chicago thing to do with a kid? Doesn't have to be ONLY for kids.
I am not interested in a kids' museum, aquarium, or zoo, etc. unless it's a particularly good one - I just feel like we see plenty of those and can do that any time.
I'd also love suggestions for any good, unusual, and fun restaurants that a kid might also enjoy.
No car.
Transitioning chem. relaxed hair to natural curls - but for a white lady
I have very curly hair. It's been getting curlier as I age, and I had it chemically relaxed because I was having a crisis over it. Bad choice. I'd like to transition back to my natural curls, and there's lots of advice on transitioning to natural hair for people of colour - but I'm white and I don't think it's appropriate for me to wear protective styles or headscarves. [more inside]
Should I hire an online CPA to do my taxes?
My taxes are toward the simpler end of the spectrum, but not 1040EZ simple. A couple jobs, my spouse's small consulting business, a mortgage, and a nanny. In the past I've always used TurboTax or TaxCut, and it has been... fine. I am a bad procrastinator, however, and I generally just dread sitting down and doing it. Recently I've seen ads for online services like Visor that have a CPA do your taxes for ~$99 (I assume there are some additional fees) - does anyone have experience with that? Should I just go to H&R Block?
Poem from Gloria Bell
This morning I saw the film Gloria Bell. I would love to find the poem Arnold reads to Gloria from what looks like a book of Latin American poetry. Google isn’t helping. Any leads or suggestions you may have would be great.
Need Help looking for a new LSSP (School Psychology) job.
This is for my girlfriend. She is finishing up her 2nd year as a school psychologist (LSSP) at a co-op that has been, frankly, an unhealthy working environment. They are completely unorganized, she has 5 ISDs she's driving between, and they only pay her $34K. She's looking for a new position in Austin, Texas and the surrounding ISDs. She's applied to all of them but it's been 2 weeks and she hasn't heard anything back. She wants to live in Austin because that's where her life is. [more inside]
Three 10 Year Olds = Movie?
I will have three ten year old boys to keep alive in about four hours. I will be responsible for them for about 5 hours. Which move (singular) should I have in my back pocket for the 10 pm - 12 am collapse? Preferably one that is unlikely any have seen as experience suggests familiarity breeds discontent.
I been workin’ in an ore mine
What’s the easiest way for two people with our mishmash of hardware to play multiplayer Stardew Valley? [more inside]
Seeking Youtube song video about two Goth sisters
A year ago I watched this amazing YT music video but can't seem to find it again. What I recall:
1) two women were the singers and nobody else appeared in the video. Very 19th century Goth. [more inside]
Medicare about to stop paying for my mom’s rehab. What do I do?
My mother is not cooperating with rehab after a fall. I don’t know what to do. Details below the fold. [more inside]
Is it possible to block someone via text ONLY- and not calls?
Is it possible to block someone via text ONLY- and not calls? I have an android. [more inside]
Moving to MoCo
I just got a great job offer in Bethesda, Maryland, and it looks like my family and I will be moving out to Montgomery County this summer. We're so excited for this next adventure, but we have three cats, two kids, and a dog - making this a very challenging move. I don't know the region well and I have QUESTIONS... [more inside]
Wanted: your best wisdom & resources to support an 'estrangee'
My sibling has stopped speaking with me under typical-sounding but (and?) genuinely unfathomable circumstances. Most of the advice on the internet feels hurtful because it's always invalidating towards the estrangee and unconditionally supportive of the estranger. I need different help and recommendations! [more inside]
It’s Annus Domini 2019 and It Is Time
What is the best (easiest to use, most private, reliable) free web mail today? I would like to open an email account for throwaway purposes, such as newsletter sign-ups and so on. I do not like the fact that Gmail asks for my phone number. Thank you!
Does she have to move out already? :(
Is co-sleeping more beneficial to me than it is to my baby, and should I end it? If so, how on earth? [more inside]
Twitter bot that regularly posts screenshots of a given webpage
I'd like to create a bot that will, at regular intervals, take screenshots of a particular web page and then post those screenshots to Twitter. I'm tech-savvy but not a coder, so I'm looking for something as simple and off-the-shelf as possible, if it exists. Thanks!
Good YouTube filter for tweens/teens?
The YouTube algorithm is horrible. My (gentle) teen once watched a video about an animal rescue and now they're constantly getting recommendations for videos of animals trapped/dying/in pain (before usually being rescued) Is there a trusted browser extension (or other method) where a parent can improve the YT experience for kids? [more inside]
Boston Radio Archives, do they exist? Where can I find them?
I'm doing some research into the somewhat obscure singer Noel for a project. According to Billboard, she did a pair of interviews for Boston radio in December 1979, and I'd like to track them down if possible. If so, how? [more inside]
supermarket pickled red onions
I really like the taste of pickled red onions. I'd like to eat them more often. But there don't seem to be any commercial products for sale. What the heck? [more inside]
unexplained tooth/gum discomfort for months.. any suggestions?
hey, guys/gals
starting back in august 2018 i had started to get an unexplained gum pain behind my second upper (right side) molar, and also i had a cavity between my 1st and 2nd molar. i had the cavity filled which was causing pain at the time. but the discomfort behind my 2nd molar is always there. i had it checked to see if it was a wisdom tooth, but the xray revealed i did not have one. i have had this problem for 6 months now, i am not in agony, but pshchologically i am suffering. has anyone experienced anything like this? [more inside]
Tax Advice Regarding a Legal Settlement
Should we get a tax lawyer from our land use lawyer's firm or go outside his firm for outside tax advice? [more inside]
Tell me about being a SKYWARN spotter
We had our first tornado warning of the season last night, and I'm thinking I'd like to train as a SKYWARN spotter. The one question I can't find the answer to is, What's it actually like? [more inside]
Nice restaurants in/near Baltimore
I'm looking for a classyish restaurant to celebrate a 70th birthday in or north of Baltimore. Water view preferable, but not required. Good ambiance a must. [more inside]
my laptop preferences are becoming non-mainstream, why? and what to do?
New laptops are way better on the technical specs (battery, CPU power, RAM, storage, connectivity, etc.). But the keyboards feel terrible, the screens are short and wide, things break all the time, and nothing can be serviced or upgraded by the user. Manufacturers are clearly optimizing for someone else. But who? And what will I do when my laptop breaks? [more inside]
March 14
mac built in mic - panned right?
i have a 12 inch macbook that has dual microphones on the right side of the laptop. they're literally on the side, where the headphone jack is, not on the flat surface with the keyboard. when i record through that mic my voice sounds dead center to me, but since the mics are slightly to the right, shouldn't i be hearing my voice panned slightly right? i feel like this is a really dumb question. am i just not hearing it or is there some reason the audio is in the center even though the mic is to my right?
I think I like my solitude.
I (mid-30s single straight white male, USA) am finding myself disinterested in dating/romantic connection. How do I talk myself out of this? Should I talk myself out of this? [more inside]
Where can I find Java programmers for an accessibility problem?
Hi, Mefi. :) THis is a bit of a long-shot, but I'm wondering if you've got any insights. I'm looking for Java programmers. [more inside]
Very simple life-saving practices that are non-intuitive
What are examples of simple practices that are hugely beneficial yet either (A) were not discovered until relatively recently (like the last one or two centuries) (such as the Heimlich maneuver) or (B) are not practiced at high frequencies in some lower-income countries, contributing to ongoing mortality (such as hand washing with soap)? Thanks! :)
Career mobility for psychotherapist/counsellors?
Practicing psychotherapists/counsellors: how hard is it to move from state to state within the US over the course of your career? If I train in New York but in ten years time want to go live to Chicago, would this be really hard? Same question, but for between the US and the UK. If I train in one country, should I accept that it would be really hard to move to the other country, or at least would involve expensive retraining?
Soon to be ex-academic expat considering future options... [more inside]
Cute après outifits ... on a budget
Long weekend in Aspen coming up, just as I've worn out all my cute winter things. Suggestions on where to find (online or IRL) cute off the slopes outfits? I don't like too-skimpy leggings or flare legs, and won't shop at Wal-Mart or Wal-Mart owned businesses. (Sorry, Modcloth.) So, sources for good quality sweaters/sweater dresses, thicker more structured leggings, et cetera, please? I do have a cute faux leopard coat and the boot situation is in hand. Thanks!
Mom is laid up in extended care hospital, doesn't have medicaid
My mom, who is on disability, suffered a fall towards the end of January. Now after multiple weeks of hospital stays and transfers she has been informed that she doesn't have medicaid by her hospital case worker. [more inside]
Please help me find the right pair of binoculars.
I'm looking for a pair of binoculars to take to the archery ranges, both indoor and outdoor. I'll be using them for distances of 20 yards to 80 yards. I'd like to keep it under $200. Qualities I want: waterproof, compact, easy to focus, durable, works with glasses, NO rangefinder. What should I be looking at? [more inside]
Current Poets Writing Rhyming Verse
I'm looking for current, actively publishing poets who write in rhyming verse. Also, the poems should be good. Thank you.
Cheapest source for bulk artificial flowers online or in Chicago?
I'm hoping to purchase enough artificial flowers to cover a surface of about 4 square feet. I can go to a physical location in Chicago and surrounding areas or purchase online. Lowest possible cost is my primary consideration (not quality). Any suggestions for where to go?
dinner tonight in Long Beach CA with vegetarian - suggestions?
I'm meeting up with my vegetarian niece tonight. We're going to the Long Beach Museum of Art and the Museum of Latin American Art. She's a vegetarian. Where are some moderately priced restaurants nearby where we can have dinner?
Thanks! [more inside]
I think I’m fine, but maybe just demi
I really like “demi-fine” jewelry (often gold vermeil), as it doesn’t irritate my skin like cheaper metals but is still often interesting and fun, not too expensive/“classic.” My usual price range is $75-250 for a piece, depending on the size etc. Any recommendations? [more inside]
My boss keeps rewriting my work
I work as a public servant for the Australian Government. It is a hierarchical structure where I write something, my boss reviews it, our Director reviews it and so on. Yet every time I write something, regardless whether it is a minute, briefing, email etc, my boss rewrites what I give her so that none of my words or ideas survive. [more inside]
Best Marketplaces to sell specific items?
I'm looking to compile a list of all the best marketplaces to sell highly specific items. [more inside]
Day trip from San Diego to Tijuana
I've lived in San Diego for a few years but have never been to Mexico. Friends are visiting who want to check out TJ. Please advise on logistics and what to see and do for a few hours south of the border! [more inside]
Why do I have $1000 in my google play account?
I have a chrome book, and just went to buy my first app (I’ve only downloaded free apps up til now) and I have a $1000 balance in my Google Play account. Why the hell? Where the hell?
Cooking without a stove
Due to reasons my stove is unusable. I have been living on delivery food for more than a couple of months and it shows both in my weight and my wallet. I need to start cooking more but I'm not sure how to do it. I have a rice cooker and a toaster oven and I'm open to buying something else (a pressure cooker?) Any suggestions?
Privacy covering for a chain link fence?
Looking to cover 80-100' of 5' chain link fence with a privacy barrier of some sort to avoid dogs barking. [more inside]
I'm terrified of the answers
How do I use a multiple-occupancy bathroom while wearing a jacket which I need to remove to use the toilet? [more inside]
Does Synovi G3 work for your dog with luxating patella?
My small dog (terrier) was diagnosed with luxating patella stage 1. I happily discovered that there are braces, exercises, and massage options, and that surgery is a last resort. I was also recommended Synovi G3. [more inside]
Is Captain Marvel appropriate for a 10yo? (snowflakiness inside)
My 10yo is being invited to a birthday party where they are going to see Captain Marvel. I need to know how much emotional impact is in the movie before I let him go see it. [more inside]
What can I do to get better at the GRE?
This test is really not that hard but I can't seem to get the answers right. I'm using an app called magoosh to study, but I cant seem to do better on the math questions. It is honestly driving me nuts. I am aiming for a 165 in math but honestly I don't know how I will get there. The questions seem like they're impossible and like no matter what I do I can't get better at it.
Gentle, absurd, socially-driven, Victorian-ish humour in fiction/memoir
I really love the particular style of humour that writers like Gwen Raverat and L M Montgomery deploy in their work, and I'm looking for examples of stuff in a similar vein that I'm likely to enjoy. [more inside]
Map of NYC neighborhoods?
Does what I am looking for not exist? [more inside]
Measuring cups shaped like segments of circles
I know I saw measuring cups out there shaped like fractions of a full circle (instead of just being smaller cups). So a 1/2 cup measure would be a semi-circle and 1/4 would look like a large pizza slice and so on. Did I imagine this? Was it a kickstarter that never happened? My daughter (who likes to bake, but can't quite handle fractions) and I thank you.
Try identifying the origin of a random guy in an old YouTube video
Video Tell me if you know the source of guy in the above video
Oh the vanity!
I am almost 38 and I want to treat myself to one of the fancy laser face treatment things but it would be great to get the hive mind's ideas. If you had sun damage/melasma from hormones and dull skin etc. what did you do that had the greatest impact? I have about 1500 to spend. [more inside]
Wantex: Portable computer monitor for big screen real estate.
WANTED: Very thin, portable approx. 24” HDMI computer monitor with flat-folding stand for travel. [more inside]
Improving the appearance of worn-out hardwood floors
We're putting our house up for sale soon. It has hardwood floors with some damage ranging from minor pet scratches to some places (just one room, really) where the finish is pretty badly worn away. It obviously needs to be sanded down and refinished, but short of that is there any we can make it look better for sale, and protect it from further damage, without making it more difficult for the eventual buyers to fix it properly? [more inside]
Self-care on a sick day
I am on the tail end of a stomach virus courtesy of the toddler. Spouse has it. I'm also on an antibiotic for an unrelated infection that gives me an awful headache. I took off work today to avoid spreading the stomach bug. How can I make the most of the day? [more inside]
Considering travel w/ mirrorless camera instead of DSLR
This spring, we will travel to Italy with our 5yo. I’m toying with the idea of leaving the DSLR at home in favor of a mirrorless digital (yet to be purchased). Will I be happy with the trade offs? [more inside]
A chair to lounge in?
Help me find a super comfy office / desk chair, one which is good for sit-up computer work and lean-back music listening, or recommend me a store that might have one. [more inside]
AVCHD - What software for video editing (not done this for ages)
The last time I edited video was about 10 years ago, I used my iMac and Final Cut Express. Now, I find the landscape has altered beyond recognition!
I'm trying to edit the output of two Canon XA10s which I think is in AVCHD format. I believe the camera has sort of split the output into audio and video, but I'm not 100% on that. It just seemed that way when I tried to import it. [more inside]
March 13
I exercise best on an empty stomach. How can I work out in the evenings?
When I work out before I've eaten breakfast, I feel great. But if I eat before a workout -- even a couple hours beforehand -- the food sloshes around in my stomach during my workout, making me feel clumsy and bloated. My schedule has changed and I need to start working out later in the day. If you are a slow digester/frequently get bloated after meals, how do you eat during the day before your evening workout? [more inside]
Am I allowed to be annoyed? (snowflake alert)
Roommate locked me out. I'm sure not intentionally. I got annoyed, and she insists that it wasn't her fault. [more inside]
Thinking about moving back to a roommate situation. Dumb choice?
I was given an offer to move to a neighboring apartment complex across the street and join the lease of a deaf friend. Complications, though, more inside. [more inside]
Trim/Scan/Shred - it's like Kiss/Marry/Kill for your papers.
You are not my archivist.
That said, I seek recommendations for three objects (color scanner / large-capacity paper shredder / rotary paper trimmer) and one information source (how to scan magazine and comics pictures cleanly, avoiding moire patterns). [more inside]
What's the best way to transfer cellphone numbers in 2019? In Canada?
I live in Canada. What's the best way to get a new cell phone number while forwarding calls and messages from the old one? [more inside]
Scream science
You've been really helpful with my scream-related research here and here. Now I'm trying to learn more about the physiology and neurology of screaming, and I'm also trying to figure out how I can be hooked up to science when I scream. Below the fold! [more inside]
How do I cut off contact with my colleague?
My colleague insulted me yet again and I'd like to cut off communication for good. How can I go about doing this? [more inside]
Governments with different weights of representatives
Are there any examples out there of a representative government where the members elected to the body have different weights assigned to their voting? The higher political level, the better. Examples of what I do and don't mean... [more inside]
your fave ssd and hdd docking station/ enclosure based on experience?
I have a few computer upgrades/projects on the horizon that will entail many steps. For reasons, I would prefer to clone my old hdd onto my new ssd using an external enclosure/dock (something a bit akin to what's described here,).. however.. there are so many of these docking stations on amazon, that I'm having some decision paralysis. So.. I figured maybe someone here might have had a good experience with one of these docks (could be one that holds 2 or 3 drives) and perhaps you might be willing to.. tell me which one?
Please bring me the science of skin care for different body parts
After spending the weekend visiting my BFF which of course included rummaging through and using all of her hair and skin products, I am sold on Hyaluronic Acid for my dry skin. But I don't understand if there is an actual difference between HA sold for one's body vs HA sold for one's face. [more inside]
Road trip amusements for a 2.5 year old?
Going on a long road trip with a 2.5 year old and am seeking non-digital, non-messy diversions for them. They love those Melissa and Doug Water Wow! pads, but most things in this product sector seem geared towards older kids. Any suggestions?
FTP or similar through a browser? Help me practice coding.
How can I easily do FTP-client-ish stuff without installing a proper FTP client on my work laptop? [more inside]
Partnership LLC with no income and no expenses, what tax forms a needed?
My husband formed a partnership LLC in Nov 2018. The LLC is incorporated in Delaware, but all the members reside in California, and this is where all meetings occur. The LLC had no business activity in 2018 (no income, no expenses). Which tax forms are required? [more inside]
good n p'lenta
I want to make polenta and don't want to go to the store. I have a bag of Bob's Red Mill Cornmeal. Can I make polenta with this? [more inside]
Help me replace these beloved boots
I’ve had these Frye ‘Rogan’ men’s tall lace-up boots for almost a decade, having worn them with suits (before they got so beat-up) and casually. After several resolings the leather is splitting and they need replacing. I want something similar, but the closest Frye has in tall boots now has zipper+laces. I only want laces. I’m looking for something higher quality than Doc Martens and resole-able. Red Wings are nice but their tall boots look like hunting boots. I’m willing to spend a bit with the idea that these will last close to another decade. Wishlist below the fold: [more inside]
Job advice re: teaching English/creative writing in a private school
Adjunct-level academic, MFA, author, and mother of small children seeks job teaching at a private high school. How hard will it be to get one, and what can I expect? [more inside]
How to tell long time customer i'm not interested in her MLM
I've had this one customer for a long time and we've gotten kind of friendly over the years. Not hang out together friendly, but Christmas card friendly. Anyway, she's always coming up with these Multi Level Marketing get rich quick schemes. I've already dodged a couple, but the marketeers are getting trickier and more complicated to debunk. [more inside]
How to remove moldy smell - without washing?
Is there a way to get musty/moldy smell out of stuffed animals without washing them? [more inside]
I need help buying a new computer. Please be gentle.
I’m coming out of a long period of personal tragedies and depression, and I need to resolve one thing immediately. I need a new computer. [more inside]
Online photo database with searchable keywords?
I'm the photographer for a show who generates a ton of images and I need the ability to upload both jpg and raw photos to an online/cloudish thing with keywords so that other logged-in individuals/teams from the show and network can all search them by a variety of terms without needing my (the uploader/creator) intervention. What are your favorites? [more inside]
Ever heard an explanation of a number that gave you an 'aha!' moment?
I'm looking for examples from any subject that have made a stat/figure/number come alive. Eg: If the entire history of the earth was compressed into one year, humans would only appear in the final 24 minutes. [more inside]
Accepting myself while also being too sensitive about my relationship
Coming into queerness, body positivity, social media insecurity, and figuring out where that all lands for my relationship. [more inside]
Help my make very boring recordings.
I'm trying to record the ambient sound of my walking using a smartphone, and I'm looking for a microphone to do so. I want a mic that is small enough that I can clip it onto my body that will not only record the sound of my footsteps, but will also capture as much ambient noise (distant dogs barking, any conversations that might happen, etc.). I would also like to do this recording using my smartphone. [more inside]
Does your city allow customers to receive their utility bill online?
Does your city allow customers to receive their utility bill online? [more inside]
Identify a 1960s Era Children's Book
What was the kid's book from the 1960's where the kid, home from school sick in bed, rigs up his room so he can do everything from bed by pulling different strings?
Can I use IFTTT to get a text when I get a particular email?
I think this should be possible with IFTTT, but I can't find it anywhere. Sometimes I'm waiting for an email reply from a particular person or waiting for an email with a particular keyword, but I'm not in front of my computer and not actively checking on my phone. I'd like to be able to get a text or some other kind of notification when the email arrives. (I don't want to get a notification if I get *any* email, because I get way too much.) If this is possible, is it safe to link my email to IFTTT? Is there some other way to do this with Gmail?
How to relate to astrology fans
I interact a lot with people who seem to almost fully believe in astrology. How can I better relate to them without dismissing their beliefs or mocking them but also definitely believing it's all bunk myself? [more inside]
Yet another 'help me find that book from my childhood!' question.
I'm looking for a (probably out-of-print) book about a set of triplets I read and loved as a child. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
What is this song from the TV show Deutschland 86?
This piano piece was on a record played in a bunker in Episode 3. I recorded all there is of it (not much). It's not listed on any websites that list the more modern songs and the soundtrack itself. Thanks.
Starting piano studies again
We took delivery of a digital piano this morning. Our household has different levels of musical ability and experience. I’ve asked before about my 5-yo, but today I’d like some help identifying resources for me and my wife (eg, apps, but whatever’s clever). [more inside]
What are your favorite colorful/evocative idioms and aphorisms?
I am looking for more unusual idioms like "all hat, no cattle" or "closing the door after the horse ran out of the barn" and aphorisms like "you can't pour from an empty cup." The more tangible and evocative, the better. Idioms and aphorisms from non-American cultures would be great, but nothing too corporate or clichéd. [more inside]
What is the best way to use an android tablet as a doggie webcam?
I have an extra android tablet that has a camera and speaker built in.
Is there an easy way to set it up so that I can "call" it from my phone to get two way video and sound so I can check on my dog when I am out of the house? The key constraint that is stopping me from using Skype is that I can't get it to automatically answer and show video. (Unfortunately I don't think I can train my dog to press buttons to accept the call).
March 12
Are we being scammed?
We had a reputable local moving company move/reassemble our furniture during a recent in-neighborhood move. A guy (the team lead) broke our mirrored doors on an (Ikea) armoire. He asked us to not tell the main company and instead he would go to Ikea, get replacement doors, come to our house on his day off and repair them for us. He didn't show up on the day/time he said he would, despite texting with us the day before, and now he isn't answering texts. What to do next? [more inside]
garbage boy stink man
Why does the hallway of my apartment smell like trash? [more inside]
Help with language: trans, non-binary, ...
Several places I've run into [man, women, non-binary] as the options for gender identity in surveys. I've also seen this trinary categorization for events organized for "women and non-binary participants". Am I alone in feeling like this categorization excludes some people - including me, a person who feels like being trans is a part of my gender identity? I'm not asking if I'm being excluded from women and non-binary events, just whether those being the only three categories are ruffling others' feathers. Bonus question: best inclusive language? [more inside]
One Time Use W4
At work, I am receiving a one time payout. I have the opportunity to maximize the money in my pocket, but I need help doing so. Please tell me how to fill out my W4 properly. [more inside]
Is there a way to prevent people from tagging you in photos on Facebook?
Is there a way to prevent people from tagging you in photographs on Facebook? Or, a way that you would have to approve each photo tag individually before it is allowed? I'm not asking about whether or not the tagged photo appears on the timeline, but about tagging the photo itself.
A Safe Grrrl to Love
What are some good readings/narratives/perspectives on folks who move from identifying as a binary trans woman to a nonbinary trans woman? [more inside]
Name those artists
I'm trying to remember the names of a pair of artists from late 90s-early 00s.
They were a couple, possibly one Japanese and one American who drew vivid cartoony cityscapes with all sorts of cute cartoon creatures in them. They went by a name something like yuki&bob.
the plaintive vibrato of economically depressed Americana
Password Manager for a Small Remote Team?
We are a small business with an all-remote core team of 5-6 in need of a password manager. We work in Chrome, mostly on Macbooks, and currently have a shared Google Sheet that contains the logins, passwords, security questions, notes, etc, for about 50 accounts (e.g., MailChimp, Twitter, Insta). Obv not ideal. [more inside]
I'm pretty sure the answer is never...
When do you offer unsolicited relationship advice, or at least, observation? My general rule of thumb is never, but I've got a friend who has been really unhappy for a really long time. Should I gently share that perspective, and, if so, how? [more inside]
New York City Legal Recruiter/Headhunter?
Can anyone recommend a reputable legal recruiter/headhunter in New York City? [more inside]
Is this sexist behavior and how can I address it with my boss?
My male coworker is being given opportunities that do not seem to be merit based. I am expected to provide support and help with his growing responsibilities while my performance is consistently and quantifiably higher than his and I have more direct experience in this role. I cannot find another reason to explain this situation other than plain old sexism. [more inside]
Kitchen remodel questions
The work is due to begin next week on our kitchen remodel. We're down to selecting the appliances and I have a few questions that I'm hoping people who have remodeled kitchens, or use kitchens, can answer for me. [more inside]
iOS Shortcuts sound awesome, but I am underwhelmed
Are there iOS shortcuts that actually save steps or time? I have a hard time finding examples or use cases. [more inside]
Best/favorite DVD commentaries?
I recently watched Twilight with the voice-over commentary by the director and two main stars, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Pattinson, who I think may been drunk or stoned at the time, kind of rips on the movie the entire time in a very funny way. I loved it, and would love to watch other movies with great commentaries. What would people suggest? They can be funny, especially interesting, just unique in some sort of way. Thanks!
Help my cats find their favorite toy!!
I have three adorable cats (obligatory photos inside!) and they all love their favorite toy mouse. I'd like to buy them a whole pack, but I can't find any toys that have the same combination of rattle, weight, and small size! Can you help me find some more and make my kitties very happy indeed? [more inside]
Deliciousify my rice
I recently discovered that I love rice, as long as it’s salted or has other spices/flavors in it. What else should I add to rice, that goes in the pot directly when I’m making it, that will taste delicious? [more inside]
group blog advice, also, "name my group blog"
For some 20 years I've been organizing various events, usually working with volunteers on a tiny activist-sized budget, and this brings up a very interesting interplay of motivations, traps, fallacies, euphoric successes and heartbreaking failures. I'd like to write about it. In the past it's been activism. Lately it's been interactive art, of the "weird San Francisco" variety. I have collaborators in the latest effort and I'd like to do a group blog. Looking for suggestions on how to structure that blog (and what to name it) [more inside]
Help with a first time owl nesting box
I live just within the city limits of Atlanta and many years I hear Barred Owls and in some years I’ve been able to spot them. I decided to splurge and buy a barred owl box from Wild Birds Unlimited but I have a bunch of questions regarding how to properly mount it, placement, maintenance and attracting the owls to it. [more inside]
Seriously: how hard can it be to buy a memory foam queen bed in Japan?
Look normally my process on this is pretty simple. Go to amazon. Search for memory foam queen size beds. Filter by four stars. Sort low to high. Buy one for 250 bucks or less. Throw in the cheapest highly rated bed frame FRAME and call it a day. Then give it someone when I move and do it again. But for some reason this seems IMPOSSIBLE to do in Japan. For price. For size. For mattress thickness. FOR EVERYTHING. So please help.
People talking about their lives - in text?
I'd like to find written accounts of ordinary people talking about their lives - similar to StoryCorps, but using text, not audio. Online would be great; books are fine too. [more inside]
Help me mine the Internet of yore...first ISP and web site for Spfld, IL
A question was posed to me today: What was the first ISP in Springfield, IL, and (by extension) what was the first local business to Springfield that had a web site.
I'm positive the Wayback machine must have a way to help with this but Google-Fu is failing. Anyone able to assist? [more inside]
Music's in my Baby's Brain... how to use this to help her development?
I'm looking for resources and / or experiences of the role that music, in any form passive or active, can play to aid development in babies and children, from as young an age as possible.
I'm especially interested in anything relating this to kids with structural brain disorders, or other neurological conditions diagnosed pre-natally or in the very first years of life. [more inside]
My Printer Stopped Working
About a year ago, we changed our ISP, and our printer has not worked correctly since then. Sometimes I can get it to work but not usually. [more inside]
So bright
This is something I've always wondered but never been able to Google successfully. Why do (some?) smartphones have a bright white, max brightness startup screen? My iPhones did it, and so does my Pixel 2. Rather jarring, especially in the dark.
Mistakes were made.
We have successfully parented our ten-year-old into a kid who cannot fall asleep on her own.
Looking for your experiences and ideas. We know this will not go into the Parenting Hall of Fame. [more inside]
My partner is reacting to my visit to rehab in unexpected ways
This is me. I've bit the bullet, been accepted and am willing to do the hard yards. But my partner keeps telling me it's going to be horrible (I know, right, I'm the one with social anxiety) and it might not work (well, yeah, I've failed every attempt to quit by myself in the past). I've asked him to try to be positive, because I need my own blind faith going in, or it can't work, and he doesn't understand how much he undermines my motivation every time he brings up a concern. We're at an impasse now, I won't discuss it with him anymore, but he's my closest friend, so I can't say "I had a nightmare about it last night" without him pointing out that it's going to be awful and might not work. Any suggestions?
Looking for non-bitter green tea
I recently ate in a few Japanese restaurants in Asia (Thailand and Indonesia) where they served iced green tea which had none of the bitterness I usually associate with green tea. I don't think it was sweetened at all.
Every time I buy green tea it always ends up tasting more bitter than I'd like, even when I follow the brewing instructions.
Where can I find this type of tea, preferably in the UK? Is there a name for it?
March 11
What do I do with a couple of cups of cashew coconut cream?
I made a lot of delicious cashew coconut cream (soaked raw cashews, can of coconut milk, salt, high-speed blender) for a recipe. It has the texture of thick coconut milk. I have about two cups of it left over - what should I do with it?
I have almost no dietary restrictions and like a very wide range of foods, so nothing is off limits except mangoes, to which I’m allergic. Give me some ideas so I don’t just drink the stuff! Thank you!
Easily compare departing airports to find cheapest route to destination?
I fly at least 6 times every year, and live within reasonable (to me) driving distance of roughly 8 different airports in two different states. Because I have so many options, it’s hard to cross-check the cost of all potential departing airports quickly. I’d like to be able to pick my destination and then see which airports cost how much to depart from so I can price compare. Is there a way to use Google Flights or any other flight app/tool to do this?
How to not end up owing taxes this year?
How do I work three different jobs and not end up owing next year? Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
Where to get a bunch of small toys in LA?
Need sources for small prizes or toys to be given as awards to 5-8 year olds. Very inexpensive; seeking alternatives to Daiso.
Name this early computer game?
Circa 1982, cartridge game (probably TRS-80 Tandy Color Computer), you controlled a guy who was exploring a cave. The graphics were kind of like the cave levels of early Lemmings in both style and layout... [more inside]
Best practices for taking a halfway-decent badge photo?
I have to take a badge photo for work and I am notoriously unphotogenic (not to mention shy). Share your best practices with me? [more inside]
Where in Los Angeles can I buy this?
I want to buy a hanging scale / luggage scale in the general price range of this one . The kicker is that I want to buy it in person at a brick and mortar store somewhere in Los Angeles County. Where can I find one?
Books about obsessive love?
Looking for great books with sympathetic characters who develop overwhelming feelings for an inappropriate person [more inside]
I need help preparing for a contentious work meeting.
I will be participating in a work meeting soon that I am dreading. Please help me not get derailed from the points I actually want to make by a colleague who is already complaining about censorship. [more inside]
What practice made you fear less?
I am an anxious person and have an avoidant coping style. I'm prone to being paralyzed by worry, even when the causes for it are insignificant. I know I'm not alone in this. Fellow worriers: which practice made it a little easier for you to stop worrying and face what has to be done? (Added difficulty: unhappily single person previously dependent on externalizing fears to deflate them.) [more inside]
Is this schizophrenia?
Strange banging sounds at night, sound hypersensitivity. [more inside]
Is there a Feeling Good for DBT?
Some people have recommended that I check out Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. So I can dip my toe in, is there a widely-recommended self-help book that is for DBT what Feeling Good is for CBT?
Last-minute literary costume ideas for a costume-hater
I'm a middle school (math) teacher and my school is having a "dress like your favorite literary character" day tomorrow. I need to participate but am struggling to come up with ideas. Snowflake details below [more inside]
Fiction for fathers
What should I read next? Looking for book recommendations and am interested in suggestions that are not overly dark or pessimistic and that would help me think about parenthood and fatherhood and provide me some perspective as I raise my sons. Not quite sure how best to explain it, but two books that fit this mold for me are Siddhartha by Herman Hesse (bought for my oldest son when he was born) and Cosmos by Carl Sagan (bought for my younger son when he was born). Fiction preferred.
Should I call my auto insurance? (only my car, only liability coverage)
After a car accident, I foolishly called my (liability only) insurance and started filing a claim. Should I follow up with them on the claim? [more inside]
Parking in Downtown Wilmington, DE
WILMINGTON, DE FILTER -- I need to take the train from Wilmington to NYC this coming Friday, and I am worried about parking. Ideally, I'd like to park at the parking structure next to the station. Can anyone advise how likely it is that I'll find a place there, or recommend other more likely places nearby? [more inside]
What kind of thermostat do I want?
I am getting a new heat pump and ductwork shortly. What advice do you have about thermostats? What value does a wifi connection add? What are the cons? Are there better/worse brands? Are there functions on your thermostat that you have found surprisingly helpful that you wouldn't ever live without? [more inside]
Separating the Art from the Artist
Can anyone think of an instance where "separating the art from the artist" doesn't straightforwardly endorse the worst of bad artist/genius/person behavior? Is there any instance where this kind of thinking was actually good for the vulnerable? minorities? disempowered? disenfranchised?? [more inside]
Streaming ballet for 3 year old
My three year old daughter is ballet-obsessed and I'm looking for streaming video of ballet to watch with her to supplement her existing ballet classes. [more inside]
Nature guide for Spring?
This winter, I've been reading a book called "A Guide to Nature in Winter (Northeast and North Central North America)" and it is fantastic. There are separate chapters on wintering trees, birds, mammals/tracks, insects, winter weeds, and snow. In other words, rather than focus on a particular topic, it's a kind of holistic guide to the season. I'm wondering if there is something similar out there for Spring? [more inside]
Talk to me about "smart" TVs. More specifically, how to make them dumb?
I'm in the market for a new TV, something 55 inches with all the 4Ks and HDTVs and Dolbys and the true blacks and the local dimming and HDRs and all that. But all TVs now are "smart" and I do not want that. I have some questions. [more inside]
Diversify my twitter feed!
I would like to be exposed to broader perspectives and ideas for making the world a better place. I've got a lot of white upper-middle-class Americans in my feed talking at each other, and I need to open my horizons. I'm especially interested in Christian or Christ-following viewpoints from as many different communities as I can get them.
Food, drink and sights to see in Cleveland
I'll be in Cleveland for a conference in mid-April and am looking for some restaurant and bar suggestions in the area around my hotel and the convention center, and maybe some nearby sights I can check out quickly. [more inside]
Automated GPS classification
I'm wondering if a software tool exists that will classify GPS coordinates into location types (home, restaurant/bar, office, park, etc). [more inside]
I'm after truly slick Google Slides templates
I've bought Keynote templates from places like Envato Marketplace before, but Google isn't really helping me out when it comes to Google Slides themes/templates, and is mostly taking me to spammy neighbourhoods and very tacky templates. I am happy to pay. Does anyone have a good source for deck templates? [more inside]
What are some great examples of London accents in song or rap?
I'm compiling a Spotify playlist where I'm collecting examples of different London accents in song or rap. Can you help me add to it? [more inside]
Why do people mispronounce names?
I was in a recent discussion with coworkers and found we all had names that people mispronounced. For example, "Posh-a" instead of "Pash-a", "Dan-yell" instead of "Da-nill." Sometimes there is a language element - "Is-a-bell" instead of "Ees-ah-bell." To what extent is pronouncing a name "wrong," vs speaking the name with your regional accent? Or translating it into your own languages' version of that name? Other new words seem easy to pronounce right the first time, why are names different?
Craft cocktails in Austin, TX
Hi! I'm heading down to Austin, Texas next week and would love to know all about the best craft cocktail bars I should hit up. Thanks!
BuzzfeedU in my news suggestions?
Suddenly my google discover news feed is filling up with recommendations from buzzfeedu (.com), though from the news feed it looks like regular Buzzfeed. When I click on it, I get all sorts of crap trying to take over my phone. If I try to block fake-BuzzfeedU as a source, will it also block real-Buzzfeed? Is there a way to block only fake-BuzzfeedU? I'll block both if I have to but would prefer not to.
anthropological reading for my wedding
We are looking for an anthropological reading about marriage as a rite of passage and/or as a contract with community. [more inside]
I'm tired of being bored on my commute
Seeking requests for podcasts that are educational without being boring or highly technical, and also not overtly political. I like Radiolab and would like to listen to more podcasts in a similar sort of vein, in other subjects, if any exist. I especially love history. Bonus points for podcasts in German.
Pivotal Response Therapy for non-autistic child?
This is a longshot, but does anyone have any experience of pivotal response therapy for a child with language delay (but not autism). [more inside]
What will become of the Five College Area?
We're looking to move to the Five College Area in Massachusetts, where we hope to live for decades. Should we worry that declining student enrollments will make it a ghost town? Are there ex-college towns that are relevant bellwethers? How does this concern rank against other anticipated population shifts? [more inside]
Other examples of phenomena like the Unicode Ghost Characters?
I was just introduced to the story about the Japanese ghost characters that snuck into Unicode and will be embedded in it forever. The story was also posted on the blue in 2018. [more inside]
March 10
Paying Overseas Medical Bills
Does the U.S. or the European Union offer any assistance to Americans who may have found themselves in a European emergency room and owing for medical services? They want to pay
their bill, but have problems with language, bureaucracy, bank transfers, currency conversions, etc.? Is there a mediator that can both, help to avoid international lawsuits and insure such debts are paid?
Moussaka in Chicago
We are staying at the AC Hotel on N. Rush St, mid-May. Is there anywhere in the area that serves good Moussaka? Any interesting places, dubious or otherwise in the neighborhood?
Trying to understand or cope with unexplained issues with vision / aura.
Around 6-8 months ago I started getting some strange issues with my vision (swirling colours / visual snow / flash bulb effects), and can't seem to get to the bottom of it. Would love to hear if anyone else has experienced this and what avenues to explore to get a more accurate diagnosis / and (hopefully) treatment or simply strategies to cope with this new reality. [more inside]
How can I soften my appearance without getting carried away?
I will soon be running for political office. Today, I was told by someone who has managed campaigns and knows the district that I should “soften” my appearance, in order to look more compassionate and relatable. [more inside]
Does online dating work?
So first things first, it's been a year since I started to go to the therapist. A lot of progress has been made, many of my issues are gone and overall I feel way better as a person. I can finally approach and speak to women without being afraid. Nonetheless, all the women I keep meeting seem to have boyfriends or there is just something that won't work for me. There is a woman who's single but shes 7 years older than me and she has a child. She's a really cool person but I feel I'm way too young for her.
Anyway, I usually engage in my interests and this is how I have been meeting these women, however it seems like I'm not really getting all that lucky. I dated someone in December but it went nowhere.
So like my question asks, does online dating work? I've never done it because I prefer meeting women face to face. I also need good photos, I'm always drunk in most of my photos and I can't really imagine using those photos.
Dryer needs to be drier
Dryer not drying; suspect clogged airflow vents but anything else I should consider before I hit the panic button? Bonus if you have experience with an Electrolux condenser dryer. [more inside]
What are the best practices for tackling perfectionism in young girls?
Bright 3rd grader has a hard time not being perfect right away, despite our best efforts to normalize failure as a key part of success. How do I do a better job at parenting her through this? [more inside]
3 days in Taiwan...what should I do?
I will be visiting Taiwan for the first time in mid-April, and will have three days (18th-20th) to explore....what are my must-do/must-see places and things? Any tips specific to getting around inside the country? [more inside]
How does one stop tensing muscles unconsciously
My tendency to tense and clench certain muscles is aggravating lower back and other skeleto-muscular issues I have. Do you have any tips for stopping this? More inside. [more inside]
Over my job, ready for a career
This is all really overwhelming. I spent a lot of time ignoring what I wanted and now I’m ready to move forward and do things differently. I got to this point by being able to prioritize my mental health. I always had an interest in psychology and have decided that I want to be a therapist of some sort. It seems like the only way out of my current situation is to go back to school. [more inside]
It's been one week since you mumble mumble
Can you think of some tricky but fun songs to memorize? [more inside]
How to apologize after saying something terrible.
I said a pretty hurtful thing to someone I truly care about the other night, and I am looking for ways to save this. [more inside]
Name that tune, Best Buy edition
What's the demo song playing on some Skullcandy headphones at Best Buy? [more inside]
Journalists on Twitter
Who are the journalists you follow on Twitter who are people of color, immigrants, Muslim, queer, etc. I want to keep up on national (U.S.), South/Central/North America, and global news but feeling grumpy that all the "who to follow" suggestions Twitter has for me are either white, dudes, or both. I'm also down for journalists who are not U.S. based, like I've been rummaging around Twitter today and ran across coverage of Algeria's general strike. [more inside]
How to restore Doc Marten Greasy Lamper suede?
I have these Doc Martens 'Tobias' boots. When I bought them, they looked like the picture on the website, now they look like this. How do I clean / restore them? [more inside]
smart websites about TV?
Looking for website with smart writing/discussion about TV shows. Also looking for a website that has information about when seasons end and begin; basically "news" and schedules about TV. Could be two different sites but would be nice to be one. [more inside]
Should I host this houseguest again?
I offered to let an acquaintance stay at my place. I was left a bit uncomfortable/annoyed. Should I offer to let them stay with me again? [more inside]
identify that children's book, hoochkerpoochkerplinkerplong edition
Ages ago, I had a children's book that was bought in England in the 1970s. It was a slim but large hardback (maybe 9x12 inches), an anthology of colorful illustrated stories probably by multiple artists. It had retellings of fairy tales (I only remember Rapunzel) and other stuff, like a short poem about a very long wiener dog with lots of legs like a caterpillar: The Hoochkerpoochkerplinkerplong / is very, very, very long - or something like that. Do you recognize this book or this dog?
Anyone remember "The Place" for Throwing Muses fans?
In the late 90s, the band Throwing Muses hosted a social networking site for fans called "The Place." Does anybody remember this? I'm looking for any info or archives about it. Google, Yahoo, Wayback Machine and others have failed me.
There was the ability to have a profile, message people, message boards, etc.
Thanks!
You can lead a baby to water...
9.5 month old baby needs to drink more water. Suggestions? [more inside]
How do I walk little dogs?
I've started volunteering as a dog walker for an elderly lady who can't walk her own dogs any more. They're small Bichon Froze dogs. I don't think they're enjoying walking with me? [more inside]
Getting a teen to appreciate/understand money.
I remember stacking coins until I had enough for records and movies. He's got Spotify and YouTube. What are some creative ways that your parents helped you to understand or appreciate money, budgeting, saving? Or maybe things you've done for your kids more recently? Ideas appropriate for end of high school/beginning of college age, please.
Looking for a personal injury attorney in LA
That's basically it. Experience with cases against municipalities or other similar, large entities would be ideal. I can try to answer any general questions if that helps. Thanks!
Better Business Bureau scrubs a fraudulent business, changes F to an A
Several years ago, I was defrauded by a Bay Area (CA) business.
Essentially it was a sole proprietorship that failed to do literally any of the work to which they were contracted.
I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, and noted that the business had an "F" rating on the BBB website, and a dozen complaints, similar to my own.
I just went back to the site, and saw that all of the complaints against the company have been removed, and the rating was changed to an "A".
I have emailed BBB three times to alert them of this scrubbing, but haven't heard back.
The irony that BBB would scrub a fraudster's review and then ignore requests to file a complaint against them is not lost on me. Advice?
March 9
Two Nights in Phuket
I'm staying near Phuket on a several weeks long work contract, and when my flight was booked I asked to extend the trip by a couple of days to explore. This trip is kicking my ass and I'm finding myself without the energy/desire to think about planning those last two days. So the question: Have you stayed at a hotel or resort near Phuket that has direct access to an uncrowded beach, great vegetarian friendly food, and massages on site/very close by? [more inside]
Hurt my partner and feeling lost - need help with what I should do
My depression in the first year of moving to new city for my partner led me to guilt him into staying home with me when he was going out with friends, which he says cost him multiple friendships. I've apologised for this but it keeps coming up when I ask him not to say certain things about my friends and I still get defensive about it for a variety of reasons. Any advice for how I can accept that I hurt my partner and try to help him feel better? [more inside]
Losing weight while eating out
A lot of diet advice presumes that you'll be cooking at home and interested in saving money. What would you advise when this is flipped (cost is not an issue, but access to a kitchen is limited)? Are there specific types of restaurants/prepared foods widely found in US cities that are generally good recommendations within these constraints? (seafood welcome, but no meat) [more inside]
A good source to hire great writers with deep technology experience?
I need to find alternatives to Upwork and similar sites to hire writers with good technology credentials. [more inside]
Western Europe. Hotel. View Of River. Cheap.
I'll have some down time in Western Europe next month and I'm looking for somewhere I can pull up an armchair and watch the boats float by. Say, somewhere within ten hours train travel from Paris. Cheap (less than €100/night) is good too. Suggestions?
Wide plastic headbands that won't give my big ol' noggin a headache?
Calling all big-headed accessory lovers: I have a somewhat large head for a woman. I love the look of wide plastic headbands that have been covered with fabric, a la this model, but typically they give me a headache because they are just a bit too tight. Have any of my larger-headed compatriots found a source of wide, flexible, plastic headbands that don't cause headaches? [more inside]
Does Anyone Remember a Website of Popular Software?
A handful of years ago there was a (seemingly) popular website where users could share the software they were running on their computers. They had a client program you could download which would scan your computer and show you everything that it found and then you had an option to upload the data into the larger database. [more inside]
What if Duke played the Golden State Warriors?
What if Duke played the Golden State Warriors? What kid of score would be most probable or realistic? [more inside]
Let's go... back
My spouse and I are back in our hometown area. We moved back last summer from a city across the country, where I went to grad school. After a rough few months, I feel like I’ve acclimated to being back, although it was much harder than I anticipated. We have a lot going for us here, but I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to leave. [more inside]
Movies & TV series with particularly warm, nurturing family interactions
I'm working on changing my "preoccupied/anxious" attachment style to one of "earned secure attachment" using a process that relies on guided imagery and meditation.
Having grown up in a very conflict-riven narcissistic family, I don't have a lot of good memories to riff off of in order to create a relationship and attachment to an "idealized parental figure." [more inside]
Why did my legs lock up during a race?
Yesterday I ran a half marathon. All went well until maybe the final 5 kilometers or so, when my legs sort of locked up and walking became necessary. Why did this happen? Details inside... [more inside]
Books that made you understand the world better
Reading the newspaper has been raising my blood pressure without making me feel like I’m learning a lot. So I’m thinking about spending a year reading books instead of the paper. (Nonfiction probably, though a novel works if it elucidates stuff about science, history or culture.). Some areas I know I’d like to read about are: China, Russia, vaccines, farming, ecology, immigration/Latin America, and pipelines/climate change — though I’m also interested in pretty much any subject areas if you have a fabulous recommendation! [more inside]
How do high-performance people cope with their addictions?
In 2014, Danish director Lars von Trier revealed that he was addicted to alcohol and drugs and had to go into rehab. Addiction stories like this are common in the biographies of high-performance people, notably artists, but also business people, politicians etc. How do they manage to produce great work for years, even decades, while struggling with severe addictions? [more inside]
Shower leaking behind wall
This 28-year-old Grohe shower control is leaking behind the wall. This was discovered by water dripping downstairs when a shower was being taken (there is no dripping when only a bath is taken, and the caulk is in good shape).
I'm pretty sure the issue is the diverter valve (at the top), as the week before the dripping was noticed, it was squirting water when taking a shower. [more inside]
𝆏: 🔊, ➡️🔉. (How to make sound of piano quieter on a $50 budget)
I am willing to spend $50 to dampen the sound of my spinet piano as a goodwill gesture toward my (also musical) new neighbors, who have strongly suggested I buy eight inches of open-cell acoustic foam to place the piano on. I do not want a huge project to take on, and $50's my limit. Special Snowflake and neighbor details galore. [more inside]
This is your brain on Marijuana
I'm looking for a detailed, rigorous explanation of what happens in our brains when we smoke marijuana. I realize that there are a lot of variables (both in the drug and the people consuming it) so there may not be a single "correct" answer. Perhaps I'm looking for more of a mental model to help understand how THC works. [more inside]
Considering hiring an au pair - what to look into?
My family is considering hosting an au pair and would like to hear experiences and advice. [more inside]
Tenant insurance question
I just renewed my tenant insurance for the year and am curious on one point. I'm in Canada, if it makes a difference. [more inside]
Multiple people, multiple Bluetooth speakers: how to even?
My partner and I each have a phone and we share a couple of Bluetooth audio devices in our household: one speaker and one headset. I find that pretty much *every* time I want to use Bluetooth it takes at least a minute: first to make sure I have my phone set up to choose the right audio peripheral, and then to also make sure I have the audio peripheral set up to connect to the right source (a process which takes only a second when using an old-fashioned cord). [more inside]
Oh my god, I hate my hair
I hate my hair. This has been a lifelong problem, but my hatred only seems to grow stronger the older I get. My hair is lank, wavy in a frustrating rather than cute way, and an uninspiring dishwater blond. I'm so frustrated with feeling self-conscious about my hair, despite spending decent money on good cuts with skilled stylists. I'm hoping for suggestions for possible styles and moral support on how to cope with it. [more inside]
Any experiences with a hip bone graft?
Hi people in Metafilter!
Does anyone here have experience with a hip bone graft? I had an accident and broke my wrist. The doctor needs some extra bone to repair my wrist and he said he would take it from the hip. [more inside]
Help me name my nonprofit?
A friend and I are in the early stages of developing a nonprofit organization related to promoting social singing. I would love some name ideas! [more inside]
What was it?
I've been fascinated by astronomy since my early childhood. I've seen a lot of beautiful things related to the stars over the decades, but there's this one thing I could never explain. I wonder if the collective hive mind can say something meaningful about it without immediately resorting to alien technology. [more inside]
What is cake?
This seemingly simple question in the village pub led to a multi-hour discussion session/shouting/a scone being vindictively thrown, with no real conclusion and two people and an amateur baker now barred. The wikipedia page says cake is “...a form of sweet dessert that is typically baked” but people angrily came up with exceptions. Other definitions point to ingredients of flour, sugar, eggs and something else (varies), while one says it is soft, and the only commonality being that cake is sweet. Is there an all-encompassing and accurate definition for cake, either formal or informal?
March 8
What does living in Pittsburgh look like?
I've been living for over ten years in a small university city in the Midwest. I have a potential job opportunity at a nonprofit in Pittsburgh. Can you help me assess things? [more inside]
How much should I demand for compensation on an extension?
My company announced my division would be laid off, and my employment is set to end in six weeks. My employer is now discussing offering me an extension to assist them in the re-organization, as they planned poorly. How much should I be demanding in compensation? [more inside]
Feminist retelling of Medusa for children?
Youngest has a fairytale show and tell and has picked Medusa, in part from a conversation about this statue of Medusa slaying Perseus. I'm putting together a short reading list for her and running into a void. [more inside]
Budget accomodation accessible to Sunnyside for December & January.
You may remember my last question. We've looked and looked and looked and it doesn't seem like a swap for our urban Sydney home will happen with a NYC place. We're resigned to having to rent a room or basement from someone. We need advice.
Previously. [more inside]
Personal recommendations for therapists in San Diego?
I need some help locating a therapist for my daughter in San Diego near SDSU or La Jolla... [more inside]
Unsolved (Work) Mysteries, Grease Edition
My work mouse and keyboard start to feel very greasy, very fast. My home mouse and keyboard do not. What gives? More details inside. [more inside]
Should I start worrying? (third copyright notification from isp)
So, first, I'm in Canada. In November I (stupidly) downloaded a movie without using a vpn. I got the usual copyright form email from the production company via my isp, which is accordance with Canada's Notice and Notice Regime. I ignored that email and went on with my life, and didn't click on the link to settle... [more inside]
Looking for a chart about shared values of the left and right
A few years ago, I saw a chart that showed the shared values of the left and right. For example, one item was fairness: the right thinks it's "fair" for everyone to get the exact same thing, whereas the left thinks it's fair to compensate for past structural inequality. The idea was that although the two sides disagree, their values are often similar or the same. Can anyone find this chart?
Unlimited play video arcades still exist?
Are there any unlimited play video arcades in the Portland Oregon area or Sacramento CA area? There used to be arcades in Portland where you pay an entrance fee, get an armband and go nuts. Does this still exist (anywhere)?
Is there a not-ugly cubicle?
What office cubicle or semi-cubicle is reasonably priced and not hideously ugly? I've got a small business with about 20 employees. Our new office will have a pretty open layout, and our employees are hoping for a little more privacy at their desks. I'm hoping for a solution that'll go with our industrial-ish decor (brick, concrete, etc) and not cost an arm and a leg. We have vintage tanker desks now, so in-between options like privacy screens that accommodate those are welcome, but solutions with desks in-built would be OK too.
Seattle or Portland gynecologic oncologist
I so do not want to be asking this. I need your recommendations for finding a really good gynecologic oncologist in Seattle or Portland (or Spokane, although I assume my options will be better in Seattle or Portland). And actually any other advice for coping or practical things or, I don’t know, I’m lost and scared. Where do I go online to ask questions about ovarian cancer that won’t needlessly terrify me?
Want some (USA or Canada) sports talk radio NOT hosted by a blowhard.
I'm just looking for some daily sports discussion that's national in scope and where the host(s) has a thoughtful, calm, non-self-centered approach to her or his show. [more inside]
Shipping from Mexico
I need to bring a weaving from Merida; approx 6 ft long, 18" wide, maybe 50 lbs. to the States. Rigid; cannot be folded.
Is it okay to shake my rugs here?
I am in SW Michigan. I live in an 8-unit apartment building. We share a large courtyard with other similar-sized units. I live on the second storey of a two storey building. I know not to shake out my bathroom rugs on my balcony because then cat litter and detritus would get on my downstairs neighbor's patio. Can I go downstairs to shake out my rug in the middle of the courtyard? [more inside]
Why am I physically unable to vomit?
What would cause an otherwise healthy person to be physically unable to vomit? I recently had a bout of stomach flu. Despite retching for hours and having enough to bring up, I couldn't vomit. This has happened to me every time I've needed to throw up: I retch and retch, but nothing comes up. Not a positional issue, as I tried sitting / standing / bending in all different configurations. Suspect I have GERD or heartburn, which may or may not be relevant. No other physical issues.
Cat relationship filter
My mother-in-law is looking for a new home for one of her cats, and we said we would try and see if our resident cat would accept a new housemate. Contrary to expectations, resident cat is very accepting, but new cat is very much not. What else can we do to help them get along? Snowflakes and relationship drama inside. [more inside]
Will it blend, to a sufficient degree?
I'm blender-shopping and getting dizzy from all the options. [more inside]
How best to soundproof a room with thin windows?
My fiancee does freelance voice work. We just moved to a place with weird slat windows that are great for everything except blocking sound. Home recorders/engineers/film people of MeFi, what are your favorite products for soundproofing? Acoustic blankets? Regular blankets? What's the solution here?
Super Specific Moving to Vermont Questions
I've gotten a few different job offers to teach in Vermont. It's a move I've been planning for years and was hoping to get a bit of direction about where I can get max $125k home value (assume all the teacher jobs pay about the same). [more inside]
space? space! space..
I am finding myself feeling low-key uncomfortable with a friend and wanting space. I don't clearly understand why. Is it a bad idea to act on that feeling before understanding it? [more inside]
Mentally surviving a bullshit job
I have a job that requires very little of me, but that I can't afford to leave at my age or with my family responsibilities. What can I do to stave off boredom, despair, and the sense I am wasting what's left of my life? [more inside]
Striving for an even more compassionate workplace
My workplace, a non-profit, would like to start holding regular meetings to provide a venue for people to talk about work or issue-related problems in a safe space. Does your workplace do something like this you can tell me about, or do you have ideas I can take into consideration? Many more details inside. [more inside]
DIY sex therapy tips
I need alternatives to sex therapy to help save my marriage, resources that we can work through on our own. [more inside]
Beware the snapping turtle
I often snap, get inappropriately angry or assume the worst intentions of people when I'm anxious and stressed. How can I do better? [more inside]
Virtual Memory on Data Drive? - Why? Pagefile.sys Question
I have four drives on my computer:
C: SSD with Windows 10 installed
P: Backup Drive - external
Q: Data Drive - internal
X: Data Drive Backup - external
My PC has 24 GB of memory. My PC's Virtual Memory setting is set to Automatic. Windows has None for C:, P:, and X:. Windows has 24,576 MB reserved for drive Q:. I'm just trying to do two things. 1) Understand why Windows has so much Virtual Memory assigend to my Data Drive. 2) Free up some space on my SSD where the 24 GB pagefile.sys file is currently residing. [more inside]
Dating tips wanted for a middle-aged lady who is totally new at it!
(Please don't say "No rules, just figure out what works for you", because I really need guidance.) [more inside]
What's it like working on an MBTA Commuter Rail train?
What is it like working on the trains for the MBTA Commuter rail in Boston (e.g. Conductors, Engineers)?
What is a day in the life of a Conductor and Engineer like?
How do you get a job doing either of those roles?
Are they compensated well?
Does the same go for the Amtrak Downeaster?
I made a bad insurance decision--based on misinfo from the adjuster
An insurance adjuster encouraged me to accept a low amount in the settlement, saying I would receive a large medical payment amount --that's now been reduced by $3K. I would never have settled for $4300 for a head injury/mild concussion, arm injury and missed work, and was never told that there was a chance that I would receive thousands of dollars less that what the adjuster told me, incorrectly, that I would receive. I don't think I need an attorney. But do I have any leverage in making my insurance company take responsibility for giving me bad information that caused me to make a bad decision? [more inside]
How can I found out more about history grad students?
Any suggestions about how I can find people to answer my questions? [more inside]
Period Drama Movie Recommendations
Period/Costume dramas were always a genre I avoided, but I've recently watched and enjoyed The Favourite, Mary Queen of Scots, and Colette. What are your favourites in this genre? [more inside]
Oldie comic name search
Name that comics! Protagonist saves the day with the help of himself from another panel. [more inside]
One-stop maintenance for the homeowner?
Is there a service that provides multiple types of maintenance/repair/replacement for homeowners with a single call? [more inside]
Should I get a older 15" MacbookPro or a new 13"?
I suddenly find myself in need to replace my Macbook Pro. The last 15 years I have only have 15" Macbook Pro's but now that I am spending my own money I am not sure I want to spend that much. I am considering either a refurb 15" Mid-2015 or 2016 (pre touch bar) or a refurb 13.3" 2017/2018 model. [more inside]
Advice on making a career move to climate change education/outreach
This could be teaching, research, or something else, non-profit, local government, in or out of the academy, etc. I have some relevant skills, and am seeking advice on how to present these, and also how to start locating possible opportunities. I'm specifically interested in cities, planning, equity, education, communication, etc. Thank you! [more inside]
BECOMING diabetic after rapid weight loss?
A friend claims that someone she knew became type 2 diabetic after losing weight too quickly, that it caused a hormonal imbalance. I thought only the pancreas’ insulin outputwould make a person have diabetes. The person is male in his 30s if that matters.
Can anyone link me to a medical abstract or endocrine study?
How do you tell if a job is going to be an OK place to be trans at?
I'm trans, and have experienced a lot of transphobia at work. When I'm next looking for a job, what should I look for or ask about to lower the chances that I'm going to walk into the same type of situation or worse? [more inside]
Need a daily line-journal / todo alternative to OneNote
I need a line-journalling / todo app that is 1) offline 2) free 3) lets me create a new "day" hassle free 4) is mostly just a text editor. 5) on mac [more inside]
Amsterdam: AMS passport control & transit
Amsterdam: help me guess how long from deplaning at AMS to arrival at Central Station, on a mid-week evening in April? U.S. citizen, but arriving after two weeks in England & Jersey (the flight in question will be JER-LON-AMS on British Air). Only hand baggage, so no wait for checked bags. Nothing unusual in my passport (all my past interactions with passport control have been a couple sentences). Deplaning should start about 6pm. I don't know AMS, but I'm well-traveled / have good transit instincts.
March 7
Making Sense
I seem to remember, as I was growing up, that people talked of the "Theory of Gravity." Between then and now, I believe it has become the "Law of Gravity." I'm thinking about things that should be incontrovertible logic. Looking at the political turmoil, the vaccination debates and conspiracy theories, I wonder if there are people who simply do not agree with principles like 1+1=2 or A follows B. [more inside]
If a tree falls in the forest, can I keep it?
A snowstorm last week brought down several trees on my property and my neighbor’s property. Some of his trees fell onto my property. Some of my trees fell onto his property. [more inside]
What car do I want for forest service roads and around-town?
I bike commute daily, but would like to own a car again for short trips around town a few days a week, that I can also feel pretty good about taking up middling-to-poor forest service roads throughout a lot of the year. I realize this is probably conflicting usage, as anything with good city mileage is probably not going to have the clearance/AWD for the service roads, but I'm pretty open to whatever options are out there.
This is the kind of tax I WANT to be paying.
Are there any local tribes in Portland, Oregon doing a land tax like the Shuumi Land Tax?
What Can I Do With 30 Onions?
I bought too many onions. I can make tons of onion soup, but what other dishes are there that use a LOT of onions?
The big climate change cover up: When did it widely begin?
As light starts to shine in dark places, we're finding Big Oil and other companies were studying climate change significantly from the late 60s ... but have there been further discoveries in other industries that show that it may go even further back, the idea that climate change is not only an issue but one that must be obfuscated as much as possible, as long as possible?
Wedding Vows: Seeking Suggestions & Guidance
We're writing our own wedding vows. We'd love any help finding beautiful poetry and prose to express the strength of our passion and commitment to one another; we'd also appreciate guidance on how to structure our vows. [more inside]
Looking for a pill tracker app for ios to track times meds were taken
I am looking for an app for iphone that will allow me to track when I take pills. Not just *that* I took them, but at what time, so I can look back and say "I see, it has been six hours since I took an [x med]". And so I can track how many of the as-needed medications I take on any given day. [more inside]
A large step up women's clothing
I have recently worn some nicer women's clothing. It is exceptionally more comfortable than things from Target and Kohls. Please recommend me nice things. [more inside]
Calling all Armchair Actuarial Scientists
We are within a month or so of closing on a new apartment in a newly constructed building and I'm trying to figure out the degree to which the sponsor "cheaps out" on things and/or "cuts corners." [more inside]
Tell me about your favorite (powerful) Android Podcast App
Mr. Getawaysticks and I have been long time users of Pocketcasts. Pocketcasts did an update overnight that we won't be using going forward. What would be a good replacement? [more inside]
NYC sublease, no heat, no water for the night-- what are my rights?
Just for tonight, my NYC apartment has no heat or water (cold or hot!) due to a major boiler issue. What are my rights-- can I ask to be reimbursed for staying in a hotel? [more inside]
How to store an antique quilt
My mom has a quilt that dates to around the time of the Civil War. It's currently folded up on top of a wicker chest, with another blanket on top of it. Is there a better way to store it? [more inside]
Recurrent Relationship "problem" - partners who "just want what I want."
How do I best express my need for my partner to express his needs and wants? [more inside]
How to negotiate to get my domain back?
I accidentally lost my domain because my credit card on file expired. This is a low-traffic domain (only about 30-100 hits per day), but getting it back would save me a lot of work. I have been in contact with the person who now owns it and I need some advice about negotiating. [more inside]
Drug development and technological advancement
This is for a short story idea: is an alternate timeline imaginable in which people have successfully started developing psychotropic drugs in a late pre-industrial society? [more inside]
Older fantasy movies for a small child
I am acquainted with a seven year old who got very into The Last Unicorn. What else would she like? [more inside]
Emotional support in hetero relationships
How do you, as a woman who dates men, navigate your needs for emotional support? [more inside]
Fun birthday games while waiting in line?
What fun and silly games can five adults play while standing outside a restaurant for 1-2 hours, waiting for our group to be called? (They do not take reservations.) This is for a birthday, so birthday-themed games are especially good!
I already have Mad Libs, fun hats, candles, and mini cakes. I thought something like the telephone game might be fun, but not sure with only five people. I'm totally willing to buy supplies and/or make simple items.
Prostate surgery, what to expect
Someone dear to me just discovered he has prostate cancer and needs surgery. If you have had prostate surgery or are close to someone who has surgery, what might be useful to know in advance? [more inside]
Little Bunny Foo Foo...or was it the field mice?
This is a long shot but I'm trying to find a children's book from the 70s or 80s that was about a group of some type of rodents finding a doll in a field and can't figure out what it is. I know it's vague but it's driving me nuts! Thanks!
Leave an empty seat for the dead
What are some examples of people in any culture/time period commemorating the departed by symbolically using things that are empty/broken/etc? The most common examples I can think of are leaving an empty chair for the deceased and the rendering of clothes during shiva. Not looking for anything representing the future. Examples from fiction/film are ok.
Help me understand this hippie/Libertarian term I heard?
I was listening to people ahead of me in the coffee shop talk about how they got to Vermont. They were using terms like "The Glorious People's Republic of New York" and "The People's Democratic Republic of Massachusetts" and one more term I didn't understand (placed below the fold b/c of general offensiveness). Do you know what they meant? [more inside]
Where do young, upper middle class women shop for clothes?
This Ask is mostly for curiosity’s sake. I grew up extremely not upper middle class and have yet to crack this nut. [more inside]
Is there a term for empathy minus sharing feelings?
Per Google, empathy means "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another" and sympathy means "feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune". Is there a term that means understanding the feelings of another, but not sharing them? [more inside]
Movies set at the turn of the Century w/ men and women dining publicly
I'm helping out a friend who is working on a project related to food and dining and would like to utilize some film resources!
Details below the fold: [more inside]
Project, File, Data management tools
I recently started a new job and am working on a much larger project than at my old job. The tools I've used previously seem inadequate. I'm looking for recommendations on a) personal task management, b) deadlines I have to manage, c) delegation task management, d) data tracking, e) file management. [more inside]
Art t-shirts like *this*
I spent hours on Society6 a while ago and came up with this lovely funny cat peering at you shirt. I want more art t-shirts with a similar aesthetic (not cats): I love black/dark gray on gray, clear images that aren't, uh, disturbing? I also like the fact that it's a single thing rather than a scene. Can anybody recommend other specific designs that I can buy? Must be one color (probably gray) available on a gray shirt. Maybe white. (not black). Any best-of-the-best shirt considered, though! [more inside]
WhatsApp Group Advice
I need to create a WhatsApp group of ~75 people and none of them are currently in my contacts. Is there a faster way to import all these numbers than entering them manually? [more inside]
Mail for Snowbirds?
My parents are snowbirds, spending half their time in Florida and the other half in Illinois. I have been retrieving their mail from their PO box and UPSing to them, which is an hour roundtrip if I do it on my lunch hour from work- and 2 hours if I drive from my home on a Saturday. However, this alternately makes me feel annoyed and then guilty for being annoyed. There has to be a better way. [more inside]
Looking for books/online materials on practical acoustics for lay-people
Does anybody have any suggestions for resources on audio acoustics for non-acousticians? General acoustics books get very mathematical very quickly, and though I'm not averse to math, I feel like I have a few pretty specific things I'd like to learn, and I don't want to spend a lot of time learning calculus/equations that I likely won't use. [more inside]
Help me manage my schedule for the next fourteen years?
I’ve been in the process of getting divorced for almost a year and a half, and we finally reached a settlement this week! But kiddo is four, and now I have a totally bananas custody schedule and a complicated set of dated obligations from now until she’s 18. Divorced MeFites, how do you keep track of all this?! [more inside]
Help me ID these pork ... things
What is this inexpensive pork cut? Here in Greece, they're called neck steaks or neck chops (μπριζόλες λαιμού), and they look about like this (no banana, so fork and lemon half for scale). Trying to translate this into something useable for searching US/UK recipes, I'm coming up with [shoulder? / neck? / collar?] [strips? steaks? chops?] and maybe faux "Country Style Ribs". Anyway, it would be easier to find recipes, if I knew what to call them! (If you have recipe ideas, please throw them my way!) [more inside]
How do I car camp with my dog?
Spring is (almost) here and I'm interested in doing some solo car camping with my dog. I'm envisioning driving to the lake, setting up a tent next to my car, cooking in a fire ring, and then walking around the lake on a gentle trail with my dog. I would like tips on how to make this go as smoothly as possible. [more inside]
Google Ad Manager suddenly disapproving ads
I help admin a site that uses Google Ad Manager to run paid, in-house built, web ads. There's a yearly promotion that the site does and it's always worked fine when the ads are uploaded with Google Ad Manager.
Except this year. [more inside]
Flight includes a train ride. Consequences of skipping the train?
I'm flying to Cologne for a conference next week. For the return trip, my booking on Lufthansa has a train from Cologne to Frankfurt and then the flight home from there. Because hotel prices are bonkers on my last night in Cologne, I'm considering going to Frankfurt a day early, staying there instead, and getting to the airport myself, therefore skipping the train ticket that was included in my flight booking.
Is there any risk that my no-show for the Lufthansa train ticket will cause an automatic cancellation of the subsequent flight? [more inside]
Recommendations for UK- based website developers
I've recently been handed the responsibility for overhauling the website of a small healthcare-related association. Would anyone have any recommendations of a website developer that would do good work and be reasonably-priced? Ideally UK-based - I'm around Bristol/Birmingham so it might be easier if they were local, but not essential. Google brings up lots of options, but it would be great to get some word-of-mouth recommendations. [more inside]
How to check to see if you have a keyloger - 2019 edition
Are there any updated ways to check and make sure your computer or network is not being spied on? [more inside]
Gift ideas for a kid, graduating university and moving to Madison, WI
The twist? My nephew not only has no debt, but has sizable savings and has just landed a sweet new job. So I could do a gift card for IKEA, but I want to get creative.
How can I find car camping in Florida that still has availability?
I'm searching for car camping at state parks (etc) in South Florida, but every one I search for is already fully booked for car camping. I want one with some kind of toilet, and preferably shower. There seem to be hundreds of locations, but how can I find one that actually has availability? Starting this weekend 3/9, and lasting a week. Thanks in advance!
notable conversations on the record
What are some live conversations that are notable for their dramatic, political, historical, cultural, technical, or personal significance whose audio is freely available? [more inside]
Day trip activities in Kirkwall and Stornoway Scotland
I'm going on a cruise around Scotland in May with some friends and we are looking for fun things to do on our Kirkwall and Stornoway stops. [more inside]
How can the NHS help with my (dust mite/seasonal) allergies?
Every year my allergies get worse & it has me dreading spring. More details below. [more inside]
March 6
Help me find this book/short story
I read a book or short story a while back and I can't remember the title or author. I know it was fairly recent, and I'm pretty sure it was fiction, if that helps at all. Here's the plot: A girl, very into science (especially scientific equipment), has a crush on one of her professors. I know it's vague, but it's all I've got.
Where do you hang out online when you're not metafiltering?
I'm a little jaded on the internet at the moment. What interesting and lively places do you go for conversation and stimulation that aren't Metafilter? My specific tastes inside. [more inside]
ISO a tidy digital calendar (2019 edition)
I'm starting a new job that will have lots of meetings and schedule coordination, and before I get rolling with it, I would like to fix my calendar problems. I'm looking for a solution that will work with my iPhone, Mac desktop, and work Outlook calendar and allow me to sync up all my personal and professional appointments as well as my husband's calendar. More on my wish list within! [more inside]
Is this Mardi Gras costume representing a specific painting?
Possibly no answer for this, but just curious: I saw this costume at Mardi Gras in New Orleans this year and I’m wondering if it’s supposed to represent a specific painting. Is it immediately recognizable to anyone?
How to respectfully roleplay a POC as a white gamer in D&D
I am new to D&D and have developed a character I would very much like to bring to games in the near future. She is ostensibly a combination Josephine Montilyet and Vivienne de Fer from DA:I. I feel very strongly that, like the characters who inspired her, she should not be white, because whitewashing her will rob her of so much of what makes her interesting. But I am white. Am I in dangerous waters by hoping to RP a non-white character? How can I check myself on this so I RP responsibly?
I want the hot sauce that balrogs would make
I love deep, dark, earthy flavors. It's been hard to buy or make a hot sauce that really hits the right note, but they must be out there. Can you help? [more inside]
Combine a station wagon and a camper van?
We've merged from being a two-car family into a one car family. Our small car + camper van strategy is now a single station wagon. This is not quite working. What vehicle would be the next best thing for us? [more inside]
Please suggest smallish, bike-friendly cities in France.
I would like to take my teenager to France for about a week in June. I think the ideal arrangement would be to fly into a major city, take a train to a smaller city, and make that our home base for low-key walking/biking excursions - I picture us looking at old buildings, reading magazines at cafes, and shopping at normal everyday French stores. She is 16, so the wine-growing regions aren't a particular attraction. I speak no French, she speaks a little. Suggestions for a tranquil trip?
Do videogames penalize you for using a "boost" until it runs out?
Many videogames have some kind of limited-use recharging speed boost function, such as nitro in racing games, sprint in most FPSs, etc. For 25 years of gaming and hundreds of games, I've always assumed that you shouldn't run the boost all the way to the bottom, because then it recharges more slowly. But a friend says this is nonsense. Does anyone know if games penalizing the player for using their boost all the way to the bottom is common?
Zero tolerance blue light?
I'm trying to improve my sleep hygiene by reducing blue light exposure. But how does that actually work? How much blue light is too much? Does a glance here and there ruin my efforts for the evening? Can I have it in my peripheral vision? [more inside]
IBS
I am looking for information on IBS and the use of L Glutamine to treat it. [more inside]
Stuck in limbo - Is the guy I've been seeing for a month ghosting me?
The guy I've been dating for a month seems to be pulling back. Am I overthinking things or am I being ghosted? [more inside]
What chair is this?
This chair can be seen in the Black Mirror episode Playtest. Any ideas as to the name of either the chair or the manufacturer?
How do I get through to my teenage son?
My son is about to turn 16 and is making one bad decision after another. Is it possible to get through to a troubled teen? [more inside]
Bi woman here; do I pursue a gay woman who's giving mixed signals?
I've casually gotten to know an incredibly cool/pretty woman (31F) whom I just learned is definitely gay, and who I think might be flirting with me (23F). Can anyone help me become less of a useless bisexual? Much more inside; sorry in advance for the anxious essay that ensued when I attempted to think this situation through! [more inside]
Change Email Address
Should I change my old email that is connected to hundreds of accounts and contacts and if so how? [more inside]
How is Trump benefiting financially from Trump Hotel in NYC?
What is Trump’s financial interest in Trump International Hotel in NYC? (Central Park West). Is he a part owner? Is he making money from licensing? Does it have his name, but he’s not making money off the Hotel? Basically, when people stay at the hotel, does Trump benefit financially, and if so, how?
enable my kitchenware addiction
is there a site that's like Ross for kitchenware? Like... HEAVILY discounted clearance stuff that's reasonably good quality? [more inside]
What team management/coordination software is right for me?
I'm an academic scientist working in a lab with a fairly flat hierarchical organization, but with numerous critical shared resources and tasks that need to be coordinated. Our system of email lists, Google calendars, and so forth is stretching to breaking. We need a better system for organizing our communication, scheduling, and to-dos, but there's a bewildering array of options out there. Can you help me find a system that will work well for our needs? [more inside]
How to help a teenager not antagonize others?
How do I support my teenage sister's emotional and social development when I do not live with her and see her only once a month? [more inside]
What do you love about your kitchen and its gadgets?
I'm in the fortunate position to be possibly about to be designing a kitchen, after many years of cooking in awkward kitchens. I cook daily, sometimes for large numbers. I'm just starting to think about what I would like in a kitchen, which is a bit daunting. I'm sure I'll be asking more specific questions about layout etc., but right now I just want to ask: what do you love/hate about your kitchen and/or its gadgets? [more inside]
Soft skills
I am struggling to advance in my career. Be it in my current job or landing a new one, seemingly due to poor communication skills and lack of confidence when expressing an unprepared opinion. [more inside]
US taxes - awaiting one doc - file now and amend later?
The situation: US tax filer, large refund due, also part owner of an LLC that is taking its time to file its taxes, and which will have a tiny profit (~$200 for my share). If I do not wait for the LLC, file my taxes now, and amend later, will fortunes shine on me or will I enter a Dante-esque hellscape of pain? [more inside]
Water Damage Insurance Claim Tips
I'm seeking tips on navigating a water damage insurance claim—one with some building-science and commercial-interest nuances. [more inside]
Cooking ideas for a restricted diet?
I’m breastfeeding my son who has multiple food allergies, so I’m on a very limited elimination diet. What delicious things can one make with *only* these ingredients? [more inside]
How to Internet
Xfinity has long been charging us an outrageous amount for a package that includes voice, cable and high-speed internet. We never use our landline any more and we want to drop cable as soon as Game of Thrones is over. What are our options for high-speed internet? We've had the Xfinity package for like 15 years. [more inside]
Fast, cheap business cards?
Can you recommend a good, fast, cheap source of business cards? I suddenly find myself in need of a business card next Thursday. Something simple and no frills that doesn't feel totally flimsy.
How do I make up a bed in the French style with a large bolster pillow?
I am doing a trial of using a rolled up feather topper as a bolster pillow at the head of my bed. Right now I rolled it up in a flat sheet. It is to round to put in even two pillow cases. And the whole thing will have to be lifted off to make the bed with a contour sheet. [more inside]
Things we can do every year on our kids' birthdays
Last year we gave my son a canvas and some paint and he fingerpainted a picture on his first birthday. We plan to do the same activity on his second birthday. What else could we incorporate, year after year, that wouldn't be overly taxing/$$ and would be fun to watch progress over the years?
Sump Pump Battery Help
The backup battery for my sump pump has an alarm that won't stop going off. Help. [more inside]
What training or certifications should I pursue?
I'm looking for something that will make me more marketable for other jobs and that will increase my earnings. [more inside]
Sending something other than flowers
My brother has to have emergency surgery on Friday. I live in another country and can't be there but want to send him something so he knows he is in my thoughts.
He wouldn't appreciate flowers as a "good luck / thinking of you" gesture.... what is a good equivalent for a man that can be sent today and will be received tomorrow?
Copywrite/Clearance Issues for furniture
Say I'm working on a movie. And I find a chair online like this.
As long as we won't sell it, can we make a couple and catch them on camera? Is it possible to copywrite an object like that? [more inside]
Should I respond to this class action suit for payout?
I bought 45 shares of Alibaba the day after it IPOd. Got a letter about the $75mil class action suit. Is it worth it to submit? I paid about 1/3 above the ipo price within the suit claimed period. What will I get out of it? I usually get $10 checks from “class action” settlements... [more inside]
Seeking web design advice
I'm still learning about design and would love some advice about making my personal site look slick, clean, modern, and generally appealing on both big screens and small. [more inside]
thorns on the rose
Looking for novels about uncomfortable and difficult romantic shake-ups to long-term partnerships. [more inside]
Help me find a new everyday bag!
Purse mavens of Mefi! Please help me find a new everyday bag. I've used my current one daily for over four years and it's time for a new one. PLUS, I have a milestone birthday coming up, so I can splurge a little. Requirements inside. [more inside]
The electric slide some say it's mystic
You've made a slide deck with Google Slides. You got open source/free non profit use templates from somewhere and liked them. The website wasn't full of pop-up ads. Where did you get them? [more inside]
Gifts for firetruck-obsessed preschooler
Kid is 4, loves firetrucks, but already has plenty of firetruck toys and related obvious stuff (costumes, the most common books). Do you have less-obvious or exceptionally-great firetruck, firefighter, firehouse, etc gift ideas? Crossovers are permissible - esp with dinosaurs or volcanoes.
Strategies to not Judge Rich People
I judge (rich) people all the time that I don't know, will not interact with and it's affecting my experience living in a very nice area. How do you get around being annoyed unnecessarily by random people? [more inside]
dumplings! dumplings! dumplings!
Best cheap dumplings in Manhattan? [more inside]
managing my emotions while navigating exit from job
I have to leave my job - there is no 'should I stay or should I go' business here. I am actively jobhunting. I am looking for advice on how to keep myself calm, stable and positive while in a toxic environment. Strangely enough I am also experiencing anxiety and sadness at the idea of leaving some of the best colleagues I have ever known. I know, it's contradictory! Please help me manage my emotions and keep my head up. [more inside]
Can I remove a pet stain and odor from a beanbag?
I've got a giant beanbag that our cat peed on once during a brief sickness. Is it possible to remove the odor? [more inside]
Sports or group exercise for quasi-fit 40-something mom?
Looking for ideas of sports hobbies or group fitness classes I might enjoy! [more inside]
Can a specialist (or anything else) help with stye prevention?
After a lifetime of never having them, I've been having near-constant styes and/or chalazia for a number of months, ramping up from my first several a couple of years ago. I've been referred to a specialist, but I'm not sure whether I should go. I'm only interested in prevention and I don't know if there's anything further that can be done on that front. [more inside]
Google Hangouts, I'm coming for you - parental edition
Do you have any suggestions for parental monitoring services/apps for Google Hangouts on my kid's iPad? I have an 11-year old I need to keep tabs on, ideally including all messages, photos, and voice calls in Hangouts. [more inside]
March 5
Greek vacation with online friends
We're a group of women who've known each other online for nearly 20 years; several - but not all - of us have met; this is our first time arranging a vacation together - and it's in Greece! How do I help this go smoothly? [more inside]
Tell me about "quality of life"
If you are me, but 10 years down the road, what are some "quality of life" considerations that will matter a lot to you, even if it hadn't even cross my mind yet? (34F, details inside) [more inside]
I don't like my husband's dog. She doesn't think much of me either.
Despite my affection for animals, I am having a hard time living with my husband's dog, and with all of the attendant work she necessitates. Maybe you can help me reconsider my expectations, or, even better, give me some practical advice on sharing a house with a dog I don't like? [more inside]
Traveling to San Francisco with unvaccinated baby
My wife needs to attend an event in San Francisco next month, and we're thinking of going there as a family (note: we don't live in the US). However, our smallest will only be 11 months old then, and will not have been given her MMR vaccine yet. Given the rise in unvaccinated children in the US, and associated measles outbreaks, is this advisable?
Real-time Chinese/English translation technology wanted
I’m moving to a new job where I will often be the only non-Chinese-speaking person in the room. I need recommendations for technology to do real-time translation which takes Chinese spoken input and turns it into English text and/or audio (preferably both). [more inside]
Like MST3K but for listening only
The world is terrible and my chief coping mechanism is indulging my thirteen year-old boy sense of humor. My Dad Wrote a Porno gives me life in these trying times but is sadly on hiatus right now. Please recommend other PODCASTS, AUDIBOOKS, or other non-visual works that feature people good-naturedly mocking terrible writing or other media, especially terrible descriptions of sex and human anatomy. More specifics after the jump. [more inside]
When was my dad drafted?
I have my late father's draft card from the Vietnam war. I would like to know when he found out that his number had come up. Does the draft card provide enough data for me to determine this?
cocktail recipe book with simple visuals?
I want a simple book to show me the basics of cocktails. Everything I've seen isn't quite right... [more inside]
Most bang for buck at Audible?
I listen to a lot of Audible audiobooks and quite enjoy book series. I especially enjoy when I can get multiple titles for one credit (examples in the more inside). What are some of your favorite "multiple titles for one credit"? [more inside]
Kitchen poster for those weights I always forget
I want a poster for my kitchen that shows the weights (ideally in grams but ounces would work) for various types of flour, sugars, butter, etc. All the ones I'm seeing on Etsy are attractive, but light on actual information. This must exist. Where can I find one? I'm in the US and use American baking ingredients.
Cactus splinter: urgent care worthy?
I have a cactus splinter. How can I tell if it's infected? [more inside]
Chinos that fit like my old ones
There was a recent Ask about male chinos; I am in search of a replacement for an old pair of (this is on the label): LRL Lauren Jeans Co Ralph Lauren pants that say Newbury Chino on a different label (so much signage!). [more inside]
Verizon FiOS router
I am having trouble understanding what kind of modem to buy to work with my Verizon FiOS setup in my new apartment. The internet is full of weird information about this that doesn't seem particularly credible. What kind of modem should I buy that will be compatible with Verizon FiOS internet to use wireless internet in a 1400 square foot apartment? [more inside]
Looking to get food in Vegas without breaking the bank
I'm spending a few days in Vegas later this week and I'd love food recommendations!
My budget is ideally $7-10 an entree at most (I only drink water and I'm good without appetizers.) I can do a few meals that are more expensive, but above $20 is pushing it. I'm much more interested in grab-and-go type eating than sit-down service with a waiter, and searches for cheap eats turn up the latter, which is what brings me here. [more inside]
Fun playlists to get out of the funk and into the zone
I have a really hard time bouncing back when I get in a funky mood, and it's hard to get back into the zone when I want to get work done. I realized recently that poppy, upbeat music is really helpful to get me back on track, but I could use some more recommendations! [more inside]
Please don't make me look like a badass, I just want to carry stuff
Seeking durable, practical messenger bag with gentle femme-to-soft-butch aesthetic. Example inside. [more inside]
Convince me to visit you!
You probably live a pretty short distance from a small airport. Give me a reason to fly to that airport! [more inside]
How do you know when someone is an alcoholic?
Does he have a serious drinking problem? Or am I just looking for a valid excuse to end an “OK” relationship, or one that may just be convenient? And is an “OK”/convenient relationship at this stage of my life really such a bad thing? [more inside]
Splinty kind of woman
I am going to be wearing splints on both wrists for probably a couple of months, to see if it will help with some issues I'm having (potentially carpal tunnel, potentially something else). Do you have experience, tips, advice to share about adjusting to this? [more inside]
Parenting a stress prone child with harmful ways of dealing with stress
Last week my partner and I noticed that our twelve year old son had marks on his arm and discovered he was engaging in self harm. He's also been refusing meals and lost significant weight recently. We've gotten professional help, but we're also after advice. [more inside]
Back in the New York groove.
Yet another request for New York City ideas, sorry. [more inside]
Non-permanent, cat-proof, makeshift door
I just moved into a new space that doesn't have a bedroom door. I'm looking for something that I can use to keep my cats out during sexy times. Do you have any suggestions for something that will: hold up to cat claws, be impermanent, and (ideally) look nice? I've thought of folding screens (not cat-proof), and baby gates (not attractive, probably not high enough). Thank you!
20 years and done. Now what?
My 20+ year relationship ended tonight. I am both heartbroken and relieved (if that makes any sense). [more inside]
turn off 'wa' shortcut in Safari?
In Safari (11.1) on a Mac (10.12.6) when I type 'wa' in the address bar Safari interprets that to mean 'Wolfram Alpha' and loads the site, placing the rest of what I have typed into Wolfram Alpha's search and returning the results. [more inside]
What's a reasonable place to sell jewelry online?
I have a bunch of gold and diamond jewelry that would not be of interest to a place like Worthy.com (i.e., good-quality diamonds but only about .5 carat each, not estate pieces). Where should I sell it?
Consume mass quantities
What's the best American-style buffet in NYC or accessible via public transit from NYC? (We'd prefer not to go to PA or CT but I'll consider it.) Think Golden Corral, Hometown Buffet, Sizzler, or similar; we are specifically not looking for a Chinese or Indian buffet. Non-chain options are great. Cheaper is better.
Need a new bank, 2019 edition.
I've used Capital One 360 for years. Their customer service has become awful. What are my options for a decent bank or credit union? [more inside]
Simmer sauce specifics?
What are your favorite bottled simmer sauce dinners, especially for an Instant Pot? Seeking specifics for lots of vegetables, maximum flavor with absolute minimum effort. [more inside]
Can I swap a SIM card from an old to a new hotspot?
I have a Franklin R850 4G Hotspot through the Calyx Institute, which has been totally awesome. But the battery has swollen, and when I called technical support, it is out of warranty so they won't replace it, but they suggested getting a new battery or just using the USB charger. [more inside]
Jobs jobs jobs
Hi all - someone close to me is unhappy with his current job but having a tough time finding the next thing. Can anyone recommend a good career counselor/similar professional in NYC?
Help me find my sweet potato recipe
I had a sweet potato recipe I really liked, and I can't find it by googling. I've even sent it to people, and it's not coming up in my email searches. Can you help? [more inside]
Paging Dr Steve Brûlé
I have the noble goal of melting butter and caramelizing sugar onto things. I'm also kind of scared of fire and flammable gases. Recommend me a good kitchen torch? [more inside]
How do I best free up space in my Gmail account?
I have used up like 96%(!) of my Gmail storage space. I've deleted some stuff with big attachments but it doesn't seem to have made that much of a difference. What are some strategies I could use to free up space? [more inside]
Yes, it's another "How Do I Television" question
Help me come up with an ideal TV-watching setup. In the past I've replaced one entertainment device at a time, so everything's different brands, I've got a stack of remote controls, a clunky switch box for toggling from dvd to netflix and back, etc. I'll soon be starting completely from scratch, and I'd like to as much as possible find devices that play well with one another, or a single device that handles it all, and to reduce the number of remote controls piled on the coffee table (ideally to "one"). [more inside]
Is there a term for this?
My google skills are not up to snuff for this. I'm looking for a term where people are asked for input (workplace, surveys, etc) but never get any results or feedback about their input, resulting in less input provided by those people. This decreased input is then interpreted as "well, there must not be a problem if we're not hearing about it." [more inside]
Importance of Physical Attraction When Looking at Potential Dates?
I have a severe lack of knowledge about relationships, and need some insight into a situation. The question may emotionally hurt some people, and I have no desire to, so I'll put it below the fold. [more inside]
What does a life long chronic illness look like?
I have in the past year been diagnosed with a chronic illness and had to give up my job because I am too unwell to work. I'm trying to get an idea of what the rest of my life is going to look like. [more inside]
I color highlight cells in Excel (Office 365) but they aren't saved
I'm stumped: I need to color highlight some cells in Excel. [more inside]
How to change my brain - a two-part question.
I struggle with two big things related to thinking, and I would like to change those things. First: I am not an 'ideas' person. Second: I think of everything as something to be done/completed/crossed off a list. [more inside]
March 4
Volunteer to do What I want to do for pay?
Hi, AskMe. :) Anyone who's read previous questions from me might know that I'm trying to break into the accessibility/web development space. I've currently got some freelance work, but was also given some advice from a job placement person I'm trying to process. [more inside]
Boston → Seattle moving company suggestions
I'm looking for suggestions for a full-service mover to pack and move my 1BR from Boston to Seattle. [more inside]
Are there names for different types of snow drifts?
As I was driving in the country the other day, I noticed snow drifts in the ditches that look like billowy marshmallow waves. Do these drifts have a name? [more inside]
Where are my idiosyncratic neighborhoods at?
What are examples of (visit-able) neighborhoods or not-global cities that have a DISTINCT sense of place, especially compared to its context? [more inside]
How can I care for this leather bomber jacket?
I have a nice LL Bean leather bomber jacket (which they apparently no longer make) and it's beginning to look a littler more distressed and dirty than I would like. My cleaner just shrugs his shoulders. Any recommendations for a leather conditioner/ cleaner that you think is safe and effective?
Thanks!
How can I level up in my communications career?
I'd like to build on my experience in communications, and pursue a more data-driven, research-oriented career that still utilizes my writing skills. Need advice on choosing a career path and whether an online master's program is worth the investment. [more inside]
Next Life
What can my sister the Second Life accessory and fantasy item designer do post-Second Life? [more inside]
Where should I stay in Kauai?
My wife and I are planning on spending a couple of weeks in Kauai at the end of April and I need help with where to stay since it looks like a lot of the formerly solid resorts have changed hands recently. More inside. [more inside]
What do I do with a Mac Mini that won't start up?
My Mac Mini is about two years old and is only used as a media device (it is hooked up to my TV ). I do usually keep the machine running 24/7, but if the machine's ever getting sluggish I turn it off and let it rest for a bit. Only starting yesterday, it's not booting back up. [more inside]
Is there a word for overlapping in a ring with no top or bottom element?
The what's-wanted picture in this graphics question is an example. So are some traditional change purses, a table trick with knives, and some cockade ribbon rosettes. A formal description would be a series of n elements in which each element from 1 to n-1 overlaps the next element, and the nth element overlaps the 1st element. [more inside]
best TSP fund distribution for federal retirement
To which funds should I allocate my TSP contributions for long-term, hands-off investing? [more inside]
Help locating the source of this bad smell!
I am so tired of being a smell detective -- can you help? [more inside]
Help me replace my holy grail garlic powder
The small farm that made the best garlic powder I have ever had has closed its doors, and I am bereft! Please tell me about secret small garlic farms that do mail order and can fill this void. [more inside]
PDX company to customize & support software for small nonprofit
I volunteer with a neighborhood nonprofit, almost entirely volunteer-run. They have been getting by on software created my a member who recently left and provided no documentation. They need to track a bunch of data in a fairly simple way but many of the volunteers have a low level of computer literacy. What direction should I point them for new software? Are there any companies in the Portland, Oregon area that might be able to customize something and provide support? [more inside]
neck / shoulder pain for Operating Room Employees
Hello! I am looking for resources for prevention and treatment of stiff/sore neck/shoulders for employees working in an Operating room. My wife is a surgical nurse, usually handing tools or entering data in surgery. I'd love to find her help on this issue. [more inside]
Phoenix, AZ Wedding Venue on the CHEAP
I'm trying to find a wedding venue in Phoenix, AZ VERY cheap. [more inside]
Butcherblock countertop/tabletop solution for long, narrow run?
I'm trying to figure out the best solution for a long, narrow run of tabletop. I want to cover an area approximately 88" long and 16" wide, that will be supported by bookcases and file cabinets for most, but not all, of the run. [more inside]
Uncommon ways of using common digital services
My design MA project is about the relationship we as users have with big tech (Google, Facebook, Amazon, Apple…) and how we are basically captive users, as in we can’t really stop using their services without incurring professional or social penalties. But I was thinking maybe we can have some more agency in how we use them. I’m looking for ideas of how to use their services in unpredictable ways. Examples inside. [more inside]
Summer camp for grownups
Have you ever attended one of those places that advertises itself as a "summer camp for adults"? Please tell me everything! [more inside]
"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune..."
When I took a Japanese history course these many ages ago, one of the things I learned is that Japanese pronunciation is blessedly simple compared to English. So...what's up with "karaoke?" Shouldn't it be "kah-rah-oh-kay?" How did it become "carry-oh-key," which doesn't even seem like the first choice for English speakers trying to decipher the word? What's the linguistic/phonetic basis here? I can't think of any similar loan words from Japanese.
I ain't afraid of no ghosts
My serious boyfriend of 9 months unexpectedly ghosted me after an interstate trip and, well, 9 months of seriously dating. I was totally taken by surprise. I did not know there were problems beyond those small day to day things in relationships; he came to a friend's wedding with me, and then he disappeared. Now that I'm dating someone, how do I keep from being a ball of anxiety every time it takes longer than expected to communicate? How do convince myself that I'm not going to get disappeared on again? [more inside]
I don't like to travel. Is that okay?
I just don't enjoy traveling, and my spouse does only marginally more than me. It's expensive and exhausting. Our families are all big travelers, and they are constantly encouraging us to travel, even offering to help pay. I still don't want to go. Is that okay? How do we tell them? [more inside]
My coworker offered to pay me for my help outside of work
My coworker offered to pay me for helping them out at their spouse's funeral and I feel weird about it. It feels like too large of a request to do it simply as a favour, but I feel weird and awkward accepting money though. Complicating factor: my free time is limited and I could use the money. [more inside]
It's me or the drink
I asked my partner to stop drinking. Let’s assume he agrees to try. What happens next? Looking to hear from people who have been in our shoes. [more inside]
How do I prevent fresh strawberries from going bad so quickly?
My brain knows that fresh strawberries are meant to be eaten only during the three glorious weeks of summer when they’re in season around these parts. My stomach says they should be eaten year round and in myriad ways. Regardless of the season, how do I make the fresh strawberries I buy - whether from an organic farm stand or a supermarket - last longer? [more inside]
Librarian Interview Process
What is a normal hiring process in the library field and am I expecting too much? [more inside]
How to rip personal data off iPhone so I can give it to a friend?
Will you help me strip this iPhone 5SE of all my personal data so that I can give it to someone who can really use it? [more inside]
How should I style/arrange the plants on this long windowsill?
I have a great windowsill at work and I have lots of plants to put on it (and dreams of getting EVEN MORE plants). But I don't have a very good vision for how to display all the plants. Seeking advice and suggestions from MeFites who are better than me at design-type things, which is probably all of you. [more inside]
Told my Doc not to prescribe me ADD meds, now I’m convinced I need them.
I was on an ADD med (Vyvanse) for about 5 years. It did wonders in terms of my productivity, but was causing muscle/sleep issues and so - being the catastrophizer that I am - I sent a message to my psychiatrist two months ago asking her to never prescribe it for me again. I now regret sending this message since my work life has gone to pieces. How do I discuss getting back on the med with my psych doc without being denied or looking silly, considering the fact that I asked her not to prescribe it for me anymore? [more inside]
Oh the places you'll go! News sources beyond Jacobin
Recommend me your left (like, specifically left as opposed to centrist and liberal) sources of news and analysis. See interior for details. [more inside]
Looking for a Spike Lee quote
After the Oscars this year I read I quote from Spike Lee that I would like to find again. I thought it was in The Guardian but my Google-fu has failed me and I'm stumped. It was in response to a question about why his movies were always about black people and whether he felt that that was working in a bubble. His answer was about how no one asked great directors like Bergman, Morricone, or Kurosawa why their movies were always about Swedish or Italian or Japanese people. He also said that he felt that his movies told universal stories. [more inside]
What are the chances? Card distribution, game of Spades
What are the chances of each of your three opponents having a lower card if you have a five? [more inside]
XLS -> Zotero
I’m a writer. I just came across a messy but accessible gold mine of a digital archive, spun up a web scraper, and now have several thousand primary source documents in hand, along with a single Excel spreadsheet with extensive data on each document. I use Zotero to manage my research materials. Unfortunately, the team behind Zotero still thinks that importing data from Excel into Zotero is a fringe use case, and there is no way to do it directly. Is there a workaround? [more inside]
Do we need intercom, Echo, walkie-talkie or ?
My partner and I live in a 2 story house and due to a recent health scare, we need to communicate between floors when our cell phones are on silent. It needs to be easy to purchase, install and operate. Suggestions? (the best would be the Downton Abbey Bell Board!) :) Thanks in advance.
March 3
Beltway bachelor seeks bargain bicycle
Where can I buy a used or refurbished bike in the DC area, accessible from the Greenbelt/College Park area? [more inside]
Best practices and general advice for hiring a nanny in NYC
I have two-week-old twins. My husband is going back to work tomorrow. I have to go back to work 8 weeks from now, which is also when my parents, who have been helping out since birth, are returning home. Thus, we need to hire a nanny. Help. [more inside]
Can't find the song, can't get it out of my head, tell me what it is?
I think it's from a kids movie, possibly a cartoon, probably from the 80's or 90's. 95% sure it's a male voice singing. The only lyric I remember is something like "you've got to have a name" or "you have to have a name," and then there's something about Spain.
It's driving me nuts because I'm giving a talk about how to name things (businesses, classes, courses, etc.) in a couple months, and I'd like to reference the song. If you can help me find it!
Vacation Recommendations Near Providence, RI
Help me find a cool city and resort/hotel to vacation in near Providence, Rhode Island. [more inside]
Another round of what was that children's book?
A close friend is trying to remember the name of (wordless?) children's book he was obsessed with when he was very little. [more inside]
What's the best protein powder for jello?
I'm on a doctor-ordered high-protein diet and I miss gummies. Help me figure out what protein powder to use to make them at home. [more inside]
Best seat under the Big (Apple) Top?
Have you been to the Big Apple Circus? Can you tell me the best place to sit? [more inside]
Best dental options?
I'm on Medicare (for disability; not as a senior) and have no other insurance, including Medicaid. Someone has very kindly offered to help pay for me to see a dentist. I've been looking over different dental plans/providers but my head is spinning. I at least will need an exam, a cleaning, and fillings. I live in Blacksburg, VA. I've already called around re a sliding scale, and am on health center waitlist. What plan is best for me?
Wildcard (meta-variable?) for use in equations or something?
Well, there's no proper category available...
So when i was in high school, my classmate managed to come up with a number (something like 1.1452?) that could substitute any variable in this chapter of our either trigonometry or statistics class for either quadratic equations or logarithms if i remember excepting only a handful of instances but i forget what it was and he's unreachable. This's surely unhelpful but that's all i'm able to give if anybody's got even a remote clue as to what that might've been?
Printing a PDF as a booklet?
I want to print a PDF file as a booklet, but in a non-standard size. [more inside]
Why is my Instagram going crazy?
I have a private Instagram and less than 60 followers, all friends and family. I rarely use it. All of a sudden I’ve been getting random bit friend requests and messages from bots, what’s the deal? [more inside]
How to repair damaged book pages
I need to repair a library book that I accidentally dropped in the mud. (Otherwise, I'm looking at a $115 fine; buying a replacement book is not allowed by this library.) [more inside]
Seeking counseling/therapy for childhood sexual trauma
I am looking for therapy in order to make steps in continuing to address and heal the damages of sexual trauma from my childhood. [more inside]
Going to a popular music concert for the first time---what to expect?
I'm going to see Apocalyptica. More specific questions inside, but open to any and all advice. Explain it like I've never been to a concert before, because I haven't been to anything comparable. [more inside]
Fluoridated salt in the USA?
I recently became aware that I currently live in a town that does not fluoridate its water. I have two related questions: [more inside]
Looking for some meal prep ideas for a picky eater....
I really want to start doing meal prep but unfortunately I have some annoying requirements. What are some good recipe ideas? [more inside]
You spin me write round baby write round, like a record, baby write?
I perseverate when I write by constantly re-reading my previously written words until the next sentence comes out. I have had this habit for as long as I can remember and I am looking for solutions on how might I curb it or stop it all together. Does anyone else experience this? I know that it is in part tied into my anxiety/perfectionism/imposter syndrome but I even do this when writing mundane, inconsequential things (like this question - I read at least 4 or 5 times)
Do you have any actionable steps I can take? Ultimately I want to save time and be more productive.
What is the first reference to gay marriage in U.S. history?
I saw this article about a poem Abraham Lincoln wrote. The article claims that it contains the first known reference to gay marriage in American history. Is there any truth to this claim? Does anyone know of any earlier references?
Memphis Weekend Getaway Ideas
Mefites: I’m going to Memphis with my mom and sister for a weekend getaway later this month. I’ve done internet research on food and fun but would love first hand experience on a few times as we finalize our plans. [more inside]
New cat blues
After much deliberation, last week we adopted Penny the cat. It’s day 4, and after 3 sleepless nights I’m having flashbacks to my old “I’ve ruined my life” post-partum depression. How do we get through this adjustment period without regretting all of our life choices? [more inside]
black square bend hooks
I’m looking for black (or a dark tone) square bend hooks. All I see are zinc or brass coated.
Feel like I’m searching wrong... am I really the only one who would want these?
In what specific way is my MacBook screen failing?
MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Mid 2014). Light "band" in upper middle of screen for a year+ now. Annoying but generally not noticeable. Cleaned the screen today and now it is -so much worse- -- band is more filled-in, there's weird extra marks around it. Clearly something is happening to the screen or just behind(?) the screen. Is this something I can potentially fix myself? I can't find similar images on Google so I'm not even sure what what my potential fixes/costs are.
Family health history with no information on biological father (UK)
My friend has no contact with his biological father, and he has a number of health problems. Is there any way for him to find out about the family health history of his biological father so he can learn more about his own health? [more inside]
How do I stop having crushes on the wrong guys?
I like alpha male nerds (think brogrammers), but they don’t like me. How do I stop having obsessive crushes? Snowflakes inside... [more inside]
Child psychiatric residential care - what to expect?
Young autistic child being sent to a psychiatric residential facility - tips for parents on what to expect / how to survive a likely week or two long stay to support them? [more inside]
Should I have sex with him? ( xxx subject matter)
March 2
Wired mono headset that doesn’t cover the ear?
Does anybody sell a wired single earbud+mic that uses bone conduction? I’d want something just like the many Bluetooth ones, but wired instead. [more inside]
Kids online TV featuring POC and non-US cultures.
Having watched ‘The Boy Who Harness The Wind’ and ‘Kevin Hart’s Guide To Black History’, I want to keep the ball rolling. Can you recommend other things I can watch online that are kid appropriate and center non-white people or non-US areas of the world? This is for kids under ten, so a couple swear words are ok, but too much violence or scary stuff is not. Kissing: ok. Sexual violence: nope nope nope.
Insider tips for Brisbane and Cairns, Australia?
We're going to be in Brisbane and Cairns for a week each. Any insider tips? More details inside! [more inside]
Cheap, low risk ticket re-seller
We'll be in Chicago in April when Van Morrison is playing. Seeing Van the Man in concert is a bucket-list experience for us, but the resale tickets on the original seller's website have gone up a lot in price and it's making it hard to justify. Seeking your advice about how much additional risk we'd incur with other resellers. [more inside]
Cooking up a new kitchen... but how much to put it in?
I’ve looked online, and asked folks at IKEA, but I’m having trouble getting a straight answer: How much does it cost to have an IKEA-purchased kitchen INSTALLED? [more inside]
Too squeamish for all of Sharp Objects. Fill me in on 2 plot points!
I caught most of the miniseries Sharp Objects on a plane recently and know the whole plot, but skipped some of the episodes due to triggers of rape/abuse. Because of this, there were a couple scenes that I did view that didn't make sense to me. If you watched, can you fill me in? Spoilers inside, obviously! [more inside]
Operational guides which help people perform tasks more effectively?
I’m looking for some examples of some outstanding operational guides which help people perform tasks more effectively and safely. [more inside]
Add a battery to an old-school Bose SoundDock?
I have an old-school Bose SoundDock that I've resuscitated by adding a Bluetooth adapter. Is there any way, though, to make the SoundDock (semi-)portable by adding some kind of battery pack to it? [more inside]
What's the best app for a burner number?
I use my mobile phone for work (I work remotely, and my job doesn't provide another phone), and want to be able to give out a different phone number than my own. Ideally, I'd also like to not be forwarded texts/calls outside of work hours or on the weekends. I'd also like to use the number for things like selling something on Craigslist. I haven't used an app like this before. What do you recommend? Are there any decent free options?
Companies with potential immuno oncology jobs in Madison, WI?
Potential employers in Madison, WI for someone with a background in immuno oncology? [more inside]
Ease me into the world of supplements
What supplements do you take and why? [more inside]
How to contest a bogus insurance claim submitted by doctor?
New health insurance company approved an overtly bogus claim by my doctor related to what I expected to be a free annual exam. As a result, I was billed over $200 (with unauthorized extra blood tests, almost $400). I appealed the decision, had my appeal rejected, am now rebutting the appeal with insurance company, doctor's billing service, and state insurance commissioner.
What else can I do to fight this bullshit? [more inside]
Like Facebook Memories, but for Google Calendar
Is there an app that will show what I had on my Google Calendar on this day in previous years? [more inside]
Editing filter: please preclude/prevent me from dying on this hill
Am I wrong to think "preclude" takes a direct object but not an indirect object? And do you have a good source confirming or nixing this idea? [more inside]
Rocking Chair Tuneup
Help me either fix my rocking chair (by tightening nuts?) or find someone who can. [more inside]
Torso skin care, blocked pores edition
I've got pretty good skin, except for my torso, which has lots and lots of blocked pores. I've tried using a body scrubber but it's not really helping. [more inside]
I Want To Get Cats, But I Have Some Concerns
I want to adopt a couple of cats, but have some concerns. Details inside [more inside]
Should the doctor have asked my permission?
I'm pregnant. I had a pelvic exam the other day with an OBGYN who I was meeting for the first time. She had a student perform the exam but she didn't ask if that was okay. My friend, who is a nurse in a different state, says that it was wrong for them not to ask. Was it wrong and were my patient rights violated? I'm not sure if I'm just being too passive about it all. [more inside]
Identify the book / book cover
Trying to figure out which book this is...
It's the green/teal-colored book in this video at 0:49. (It also appears briefly around 0:47)
[more inside]
Because i am a big picture type of person, especially when driving...
I need help in step by step directions for this.
I am utterly frustrated with all GPS apps, and knowing how I am with tech in general I'm probably I'm using them wrong. Here is what I want to do. Can you please help me in extremely direct, specific instructions? [more inside]
Lipstick to match a Mazda
I'm looking for a fun gift, but I want to get it right, and my googling has been of no avail. I want to buy lipstick and nail polish which matches the colour of a Soul Red Mazda3 (as seen here). I'm in the UK. What matches, or how can I find out for myself?
Moto G4 Android smartphone snubs K-9 email app. Please advise.
I have a Moto G4 smartphone running Android 7.0. It is snubbing the K-9 email app. Please help me get my email on my phone. [more inside]
Settle this card game dispute (on my side hopefully!)
In Snap and similar card games where the goal is to slap a pile of cards at some point, do you play with a rule where you are required to slap with a certain hand? This could be either the same hand that you play out cards with, or the other hand. [more inside]
Freezer meals for the microwaveless
We're stocking the freezer with meals in anticipation of the imminent arrival of our fry. We do not have a microwave. What are some good freezeable foods that can be reheated in the oven/stove/Instant Pot? [more inside]
March 1
What about paraprofessionals in drug rehab and mental health?
In the United States, would it make sense to use people with bachelor’s degrees in social work or psychology to a greater degree for drug rehabilitation and mental health counseling? [more inside]
Tarot cards I can actually hold in my hand and shuffle
What is your favorite tarot deck with beautiful art and has high shuffleability? The last deck I bought had beautiful cards that clearly don't like me—they're too large and thick for my hands and cut me when I try to cut and shuffle them. Tell me your favorites! I'm OK with decks with variations on a few cards, but I want one that has all the standard Rider-Waite cards in some form. I prefer art that adds to the symbolism, high-quality prints, many colors, sparkle and shine, and a good feel in the hands. [more inside]
Pre-Shakespearean Memes
After the Michael Cohen hearing, I encountered this tweet, and it got me wondering: what are the oldest English language memes that people would generally recognize? (For these purposes, assume that it had to originate in the English language, so e.g., things from the Bible wouldn't count.)
Where can I rent a suit (NOT A TUXEDO) in the SF Bay Area?
I have an event in three weeks for which I am told I must wear a suit. I do not have a suit, nor do I anticipate having the need for one again. I have just Marie Kondo'ed my closet and the thought of owning a suit does not spark joy in the slightest. Where can I rent a suit (NOT A TUXEDO) in SF or the east bay? [more inside]
A Contortionist's Workout Routine
How do I make the contortionist workout schedule make sense? Alternatively, what other workout routines from contortionists can I incorporate and how? [more inside]
Question about historical accuracy in the Overlord movie
I have just started watching Overlord, which begins with a plane full of racially integrated paratroopers. Of course it is absurd to devote any brain space to concerns about historical accuracy in this movie, given that it is plainly a work of fiction about an alternate universe, but to what extent is a racially integrated unit of this type true to the historical facts of the World War II military experience?
Disco, DJing, and HiFi equipment in in 1979
In this photo taken of a DJ booth at a New York City club in 1979, what do you know about the DJ equipment shown, especially the components on the racks? How has this equipment changed since then? How would a DJ like this have broken into the business in 1979 to work at such a club?
Stories about identity (especially religious or national identity l)
Looking for short stories about religious or national identity (for instance stories that focus on the experience of being Pakistani, or being Jewish, etc). [more inside]
Can blockchain improve my sex life?
When conversing about contemporary technologies during dates - especially the initial dates in a relationship - which technologies are "better" to talk about and discuss in conversation (and why)? Or, conversely, which technologies are probably best avoided as they may be problematic, be difficult to discuss in a casual or interesting manner, or not give a good impression to the person you are dating?
What weird book did I read?
Around 1995 I read a very, very strange book, here is what I remember or think I remember: [more inside]
Pain in the neck project
I've been working 12 hour days at my home office desk for a couple of weeks, and this is likely to go on for another week, at least. My neck is sore. What can I do at home to make this better? [more inside]
Man, that hit the spot!
What do you call that noise people make in the back of the throat to show that they enjoyed a drink? It's an outbreath (exhalation) that begins with a glottal stop. I figure there should be a name in order to easily describe it to a deaf person, study it scientifically or script it in a screenplay. So... does it have a name?
Easy Python graphics with SVG output?
I use plot.ly a lot for making figures. It's a lot cleaner and easier to use than matplotlib, which I have used, and it has a well-documented Python library. But it costs $100/year to be able to download plots in .svg format. Is there a good library for plotting in Python that outputs high-resolution figures? I'm willing to pay money for the feature, but my budget is closer to $35/year for a student version or $100 for a lifetime use. [more inside]
Why is my espresso maker so slow?
My "Gaggia 14101 Classic Semi-Automatic Espresso Maker" is delivering espresso really slow. It takes perhaps three minutes to half fill a tea-cup and I am wondering why. [more inside]
Illustrated book about alphabets... all the alphabets
My son is four and has always loved the alphabet. Recently, we've been having fun introducing him to letters from other languages, like Greek or Hebrew; he also sometimes make up his own letters. What I'd really like is a beautifully illustrated book that shows alphabets from all around the world. [more inside]
But wasn't he definitely a crook, though?
Is there an entire mirror universe I wasn't aware of composed of people who think Richard Nixon did nothing wrong? [more inside]
How to identify criminal cases on canlii.org?
I've been using canlii.org to research Canadian court cases. I was wondering if there was anyone here familiar with the site that could tell me - when reading the court decisions, is there was an easy way to distinguish civil cases from criminal cases?
Small amounts of CBD and drug testing
I’ve got an important drug test coming up in 6 days. I’m panicking a bit because I had two shots of full spectrum hemp CBD in my beer at the bar, one yesterday and one maybe 4 days to a week ago. (I live in a state where cannabis is legal, but not allowed to be served with alcohol. But CBD can be sold with alcohol and to minors.) I read some articles about CBD users failing drug tests for trace THC and am now freaking out. Is my worry justified? What can I do?
How to solve possible legal + close a business/Anxiety ++++ filter
I've always extreme anxiety and its exacerbated itself in a few domains in my life. To the point that .... I can barely and often don't look at mail. This is combined with I had a business (an S-Corp) and stopped filings and stopped looking at the mail because it was overwhelming. I know its not an excuse, I just want to fix what I can/desperately need strategies. [more inside]
Who Will Buy My Photos of Saudi Arabia?
I lived in Saudi Arabia for two years recently and traveled all over the country, often alone, taking photos. I think now I have close to 7000 photos, obviously not all great. But I do think I have a unique perspective on the country, I would go places, abandoned buildings, out in the country, weird places, that other expats were afraid to explore. [more inside]
animated aardvarks?
ok, question from my neice: help her find this movie/clip/thing [more inside]
Will U.S. customs turn away a visa-holder due to length of stay?
I purchased plane tickets for a Guatemalan friend to visit the U.S. from April to September (she has a tourist visa). Her lawyer has since advised her that if her return flight is more than 20 days after her arrival, customs may turn her away based on what sounds like a suspicion that she's here to work. Is this true? [more inside]
How can I cat-proof my bulletin boards?
One of our two darling kitties -- Waffles -- has a thing for bulletin boards. He pulls off all of the tacks and items pretty regularly. I'm sure it's great fun for him, but less so for me. Any creative ideas for cat-proofing my bulletin boards? [more inside]
Help me parse learning disorder....stuff?
I am confused, looking at the results of my daughter's pycho-educational assessment. I am particularly confused about the results of what the tester has called "The Developmental Test of Visual Motor Integration." She scored very low. 8th percentile. This led to the tester diagnosing her with Severe Developmental Coordination Disorder. What do these things mean, and a few other questions inside. [more inside]
International snack of the month clubs
My sister is having a birthday and would like, has asked for, some sort of International Snack of the Month Club. I don't know much about these these things and would appreciate pointers within a few simple criteria. [more inside]
What is this plant?
Can you identify this little plant which is growing in my pot? Is it a moss or a fern? What species is it? And how do I keep it happy? [more inside]
Desire to apologize: is it to make them or myself feel better?
When I was 23, my now husband's niece was diagnosed with cancer. At the time, my husband and I were in a serious five-year relationship and I considered his family as my family. Our niece, unfortunately, died after battling cancer for almost two years.
Looking back, I feel like I was not as present as I should have been during this difficult moment. I would like to express that to my sister-in-law but wonder if this would just be more hurtful than helpful.
Details inside. [more inside]
What to eat after stomach virus?
Most of my family has had a stomach virus this week. We're mostly better, but not quite ready for full on regular food yet. What can we eat besides applesauce, bananas, crackers, eggs, and toast? [more inside]
SQL: How to query a group of like records with in a query
I have an SQL view that returns multiple records with the same ID. I can query the view but do not have access to change the view. I need to apply some logic to each set of records with the same ID to create a single record per ID.
Example inside: [more inside]
Season ceramic fry pan
I want to avoid buying canola or vegetable oil if I can. How do I (can I) season my new ceramic cookware without it? Would olive or grape seed oil work? Internet gives widely varying answers and I know we've got master cooks here on MeFi.