Books about sexual relationships with authority figures?
January 23, 2024 8:31 AM Subscribe
My last book question led me to The Big Hurt, and I'm enjoying it so much I'm off on a new tangent. Now, I'm looking for books about people having sexual relationships with authority figures. Hoping for memoir or fiction rather than romance, but I'd consider romance if any exists that isn't unbearably corny?
I've never read romance, and while the idea of reading a horny book appeals to me, when I look at the covers and synopses they seem to be so full of cliches as to be eye-rollingly cringe. Prove me wrong? If you can't, I'm happy with memoirs and novels.
I've never read romance, and while the idea of reading a horny book appeals to me, when I look at the covers and synopses they seem to be so full of cliches as to be eye-rollingly cringe. Prove me wrong? If you can't, I'm happy with memoirs and novels.
The Yonahlossee Riding Camp for Girls by Anton DiSclafani fits the bill I think. I share your inability to enjoy typical romance novels, even though I love cheesy romance in other genres like TV. This one is well-written and interestingly plotted enough that I would call it literary fiction, but the plot is delightfully soapy and it includes a teacher-student relationship. The historical setting makes it all more palatable.
posted by guessthis at 9:36 AM on January 23 [1 favorite]
posted by guessthis at 9:36 AM on January 23 [1 favorite]
I looked up The Big Hurt and was struck by how similar a story it is (in outline) to My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell-- particularly in the consequences suffered by the underage student.
Through much of My Dark Vanessa, the narrator treats the relationship, or "relationship," as a romance but keeps circling around the idea that it was actually abuse. I found it intriguing; a little frustrating but probably pretty true to the real-life experience of something like that. She's comething adjacent to, but not quite, an unreliable narrator as she struggles with the situation, her memories and the unspooling consequences.
posted by BibiRose at 9:40 AM on January 23 [2 favorites]
Through much of My Dark Vanessa, the narrator treats the relationship, or "relationship," as a romance but keeps circling around the idea that it was actually abuse. I found it intriguing; a little frustrating but probably pretty true to the real-life experience of something like that. She's comething adjacent to, but not quite, an unreliable narrator as she struggles with the situation, her memories and the unspooling consequences.
posted by BibiRose at 9:40 AM on January 23 [2 favorites]
Following on BibiRose's rec of My Dark Vanessa, which I heartily endorse, take a look at its author Kate Elizabeth Russell's reading list of influences. She lists many works in several categories that touch on power-imbalanced relationships.
I've read much of that list and my favorite from it is Michael Lowenthal's Avoidance, which is really superb. I'm not linking to info about it as it's better to go in without a synopsis.
Two things not on that list I'd recommend are Alicia Nutting's novel Tampa and Kimberly Belflower's play John Proctor is the Villain.
posted by jocelmeow at 11:18 AM on January 23 [2 favorites]
I've read much of that list and my favorite from it is Michael Lowenthal's Avoidance, which is really superb. I'm not linking to info about it as it's better to go in without a synopsis.
Two things not on that list I'd recommend are Alicia Nutting's novel Tampa and Kimberly Belflower's play John Proctor is the Villain.
posted by jocelmeow at 11:18 AM on January 23 [2 favorites]
The Mind Body Problem by Rebecca Goldstein comes to mind! Math genius marries student. Complicated, moving, philosophical and fun.
posted by Arctostaphylos at 2:05 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
posted by Arctostaphylos at 2:05 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
My Dark Vanessa is a must-read for this topic. It's natural companion (and referenced more than once in Vanessa) is Nabakov's Lolita, which comes at the topic from the predator's point of view, and has little good to say about either the protagonist or his victim. I am absolutely not a litfic reader, and it took me a couple of months to get through Lolita, but it was worth the effort (Vanessa was much faster.)
posted by lhauser at 5:44 PM on January 23
posted by lhauser at 5:44 PM on January 23
i wrote one this year: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/125877136-daddy-lessons
posted by PinkMoose at 12:01 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]
posted by PinkMoose at 12:01 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]
At Home in the World by Joyce Maynard
Asymmetry by Lisa Halliday is fiction, but part of it is based on her relationship with Philip Roth.
posted by Violet Hour at 1:18 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]
Asymmetry by Lisa Halliday is fiction, but part of it is based on her relationship with Philip Roth.
posted by Violet Hour at 1:18 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]
I adore Lolita - it's my favorite classic novel, so, so gorgeous - and you'll get more out of My Dark Vanessa if you've read Lolita. It's the canonical power-imbalanced relationship novel, but less specifically a relationship with a kind of recognized authority figure than MDV.
What I'd say about a Lolita/My Dark Vanessa strategy, if you have nothing but time, is to read Lolita first, and then read it a second time, using the annotated version, then read My Dark Vanessa.
Lolita is the most accessible of the bunch of Nabokov I've read, but even so, on first read, without the annotated version, you'll probably miss a lot of his subtle play behind the scenes. And while you can definitely read My Dark Vanessa without any knowledge of Lolita, they are woven to each other in a way that is rewarding as a reader if you know Lolita and Nabokov in general well. You'll see how deeply Kate Elizabeth Russell is into Nabokov's work.
posted by jocelmeow at 7:33 AM on January 24
What I'd say about a Lolita/My Dark Vanessa strategy, if you have nothing but time, is to read Lolita first, and then read it a second time, using the annotated version, then read My Dark Vanessa.
Lolita is the most accessible of the bunch of Nabokov I've read, but even so, on first read, without the annotated version, you'll probably miss a lot of his subtle play behind the scenes. And while you can definitely read My Dark Vanessa without any knowledge of Lolita, they are woven to each other in a way that is rewarding as a reader if you know Lolita and Nabokov in general well. You'll see how deeply Kate Elizabeth Russell is into Nabokov's work.
posted by jocelmeow at 7:33 AM on January 24
I absolutely love The Mind-Body Problem!
I didn't think of it in this context for some reason. Maybe because the narrator is a philosophy graduate student who marries a math professor she's never studied with. He seemed more like a celebrity to me than an authority figure per se. Definitely some hero worship because she thinks he's so much smarter than she is-- kind of an updated Middlemarch, which is referenced in the book.
posted by BibiRose at 9:01 AM on January 24
I didn't think of it in this context for some reason. Maybe because the narrator is a philosophy graduate student who marries a math professor she's never studied with. He seemed more like a celebrity to me than an authority figure per se. Definitely some hero worship because she thinks he's so much smarter than she is-- kind of an updated Middlemarch, which is referenced in the book.
posted by BibiRose at 9:01 AM on January 24
Jill Ciment’s upcoming memoir Consent sounds like it will be really interesting.
posted by needs more cowbell at 5:51 PM on January 25
posted by needs more cowbell at 5:51 PM on January 25
You might want to try Vanessa Springora's memoir Consent as well.
posted by jocelmeow at 5:57 PM on February 5
posted by jocelmeow at 5:57 PM on February 5
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Age gap relationships and male professors sleeping with literal minors is an intensely uncomfortable topic, and in this I am just like you, rolling my eyes and "no, thanks"ing every book that comes along in this genre. But ... wow. This book proved me wrong. This is a subject that CAN be written about well, apparently? Ribs is not only non-exploitative, but also overall a complicated, deeply thought-out, very appropriately messy UN-romance between a 17 yr old girl and her 30-something recently widowed neighbor (who is also her employer). Every cliche I expected to find was avoided. There are explicit sex scenes but they aren't exactly super sexy - like, this isn't Bridgerton season 1 - but nor are they grim/painful. There is an incident of sexual violence which is handled in a way that made me stand up and cheer, as a writer and a feminist and as a person with issues with my mother.
I loved this book so much I went and bought all of Sandra Hutchison's books. While the quality of this writer's work varies somewhat, she has a few other books that are just as good as Ribs - The Awful Mess, for example, is really memorable.
posted by MiraK at 8:44 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]