Why should I pursue this hobby?
January 3, 2024 12:33 PM Subscribe
I played {an instrument/a sport/a game} seriously and competitively as a child. I loved it, I was good at it, and I hated it. The competition made me miserable and spoiled any fun, and I stopped playing before I graduated high school. In particular, I was disappointed that I never really mastered some techniques well but I quit in a huff and never looked back. Now I'm in my 40s and want to settle a score with my younger self, I am going to go back to it and learn the things I never did, and get really good at it. But I kind of feel like I'm still doing it out of spite, not joy. I want a happier, more joyful reason to play, but I am having a hard time coming up with one. What are some reasons that motivate adults to do recreational activities? Backed by science, if possible.
Do it with a friend? Can you do that without it becoming competitive? Can you find a beginner friend you could teach for free, or an experienced friend who has the mindset you want to develop in yourself?
posted by eirias at 12:54 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
posted by eirias at 12:54 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
I just read a great blog post by someone who did this exact thing - re-learning the piano skills they’d abandoned as a young adult, for no other reason than personal satisfaction. The article has a lot of reflection on why they decided to do it and the weirdness of wrapping your head around doing something like this for “no reason.” Some good anecdotes from others in the comments too.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:10 PM on January 3 [6 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:10 PM on January 3 [6 favorites]
You don't have to take active joy in an activity for it to be satisfying and rewarding. Sometimes the goal is the goal, and you might even hate or dread the process, but take pleasure in having achieved the goal. This is sometimes referred to "type 2" fun, in which the process is not fun, or even miserable, but there's satisfaction in the achievement. Is that enough for you?
The satisfaction can be in beating others ("I won the race!"), but it can also entirely self-directed ("I did it in under 5 minutes!"), so you don't have compete with others if it makes you miserable.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:30 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]
The satisfaction can be in beating others ("I won the race!"), but it can also entirely self-directed ("I did it in under 5 minutes!"), so you don't have compete with others if it makes you miserable.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:30 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]
Curiosity
posted by trig at 1:31 PM on January 3 [4 favorites]
posted by trig at 1:31 PM on January 3 [4 favorites]
To develop grit.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:04 PM on January 3
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:04 PM on January 3
I'm not sure of the scientific backing of these, but here are the reasons I can think of that I or people I know continue with recreational activities. Noting that many activities have a combination of these motivators, and the more motivators there are together the more likely I am to be consistent with them (e.g. I like that yoga makes me more flexible/mobile but I also enjoy it physically while I'm doing it).
Pure Enjoyment
My dad plays guitar every day because he loves it, he takes pleasure in the act itself. This has been singing for me in the past. (As an aside, thanks to this question, I realized I miss singing and signed up for an intro rehearsal with a local community chorus. So thank you!)
Secondary Enjoyment
As mentioned above, some things kind of suck when you're doing them but feel good after, like you might dread a run but feel the endorphins kick in once you're finished.
Secondary Effects
I choose many of my physical recreational activities not so much because I enjoy the activity but because I enjoy its effects. I like that weightlifting makes me stronger, for instance, even though actually lifting the weights isn't that fun.
Progress/Achievement
My husband finds this very motivating. He's a cyclist because he likes the activity, but also because he always wants to ride farther and faster, and to win races. This can be internally or externally competitive. Others might aim for certain awards or accomplishments with their activity.
Production
It can be nice to make something tangible you can engage with, like knitting a sweater or cooking a meal. Similar to secondary effects, but more material. Some recreational activities also bring in some money e.g. "side hustle."
Social Inclusion/Community
Many people engage with hobbies because that's where they find friendships, partnerships, and social belonging. My mom is a choral singer (and mefite, hi mom!) and that's where a lot of her social life is based.
Social Good
Activities like volunteering, political action, mutual aid, etc. are motivating to people who value contributing to society and improving their community.
Meaning/Calling
I write poetry, and am very motivated to continue although it doesn't bring me much community, money, sense of progress, or sometimes even pleasure. I write because it helps me make meaning from my life and it gives my life meaning. I write because it feels like my calling, no matter what ever comes from it.
I'm sure there are other reasons, but looking at this list I can see lots of ways you could think about your recreation. Let's say it's piano, to use an example above. Can you take pleasure in the act of playing, or the act of learning? Can you enjoy how it's developing your dexterity, your neuroplasticity, your appreciation of music? Can you find a group to play with and make friends? Can you volunteer your skills to a group who needs an accompanist? Or maybe it's so deeply lodged in you from childhood that it does feel like a calling, and you can use it to shape the larger meaning of your life.
That's all if you really do want to continue it! I also hope you can give yourself permission to quit if this activity is actually no longer serving you. There are many other fun and meaningful ways to spend your time.
posted by rabbitbookworm at 2:16 PM on January 3 [21 favorites]
Pure Enjoyment
My dad plays guitar every day because he loves it, he takes pleasure in the act itself. This has been singing for me in the past. (As an aside, thanks to this question, I realized I miss singing and signed up for an intro rehearsal with a local community chorus. So thank you!)
Secondary Enjoyment
As mentioned above, some things kind of suck when you're doing them but feel good after, like you might dread a run but feel the endorphins kick in once you're finished.
Secondary Effects
I choose many of my physical recreational activities not so much because I enjoy the activity but because I enjoy its effects. I like that weightlifting makes me stronger, for instance, even though actually lifting the weights isn't that fun.
Progress/Achievement
My husband finds this very motivating. He's a cyclist because he likes the activity, but also because he always wants to ride farther and faster, and to win races. This can be internally or externally competitive. Others might aim for certain awards or accomplishments with their activity.
Production
It can be nice to make something tangible you can engage with, like knitting a sweater or cooking a meal. Similar to secondary effects, but more material. Some recreational activities also bring in some money e.g. "side hustle."
Social Inclusion/Community
Many people engage with hobbies because that's where they find friendships, partnerships, and social belonging. My mom is a choral singer (and mefite, hi mom!) and that's where a lot of her social life is based.
Social Good
Activities like volunteering, political action, mutual aid, etc. are motivating to people who value contributing to society and improving their community.
Meaning/Calling
I write poetry, and am very motivated to continue although it doesn't bring me much community, money, sense of progress, or sometimes even pleasure. I write because it helps me make meaning from my life and it gives my life meaning. I write because it feels like my calling, no matter what ever comes from it.
I'm sure there are other reasons, but looking at this list I can see lots of ways you could think about your recreation. Let's say it's piano, to use an example above. Can you take pleasure in the act of playing, or the act of learning? Can you enjoy how it's developing your dexterity, your neuroplasticity, your appreciation of music? Can you find a group to play with and make friends? Can you volunteer your skills to a group who needs an accompanist? Or maybe it's so deeply lodged in you from childhood that it does feel like a calling, and you can use it to shape the larger meaning of your life.
That's all if you really do want to continue it! I also hope you can give yourself permission to quit if this activity is actually no longer serving you. There are many other fun and meaningful ways to spend your time.
posted by rabbitbookworm at 2:16 PM on January 3 [21 favorites]
Flow state is one motivation for many hobbies/sports, and there is a decent amount of research about it.
posted by mbrubeck at 2:30 PM on January 3 [6 favorites]
posted by mbrubeck at 2:30 PM on January 3 [6 favorites]
Here's a 2020 systematic review about why older adults (defined as 55 and older) participate in sports. From the highlights summary: "The main reasons for participating in sport were for physical and mental health benefits; being in a social, supportive community; and being part of a team. Other reported reasons included opportunities for achievement, competition, and travel. Playing sport may contribute to the experience of successful ageing for older adults."
These are generally positive reasons, which rings true to me as someone a bit younger than this demographic.
Now I'm in my 40s and want to settle a score with my younger self, I am going to go back to it and learn the things I never did, and get really good at it. But I kind of feel like I'm still doing it out of spite, not joy.
This sounds like something to journal about, or to discuss in therapy. Are you trying to punish your younger self or your current self? Is there some other authority figure whose voice is ringing in your head? Your younger self is you, so why do you want to be mean to yourself? Honestly, if this is a leisure activity, this sounds like awful motivation and driven by a lack of self-compassion. You said you want to "play," but play should have at least a bit of joy in it.
It's not bad to want to master something you didn't know before. It's also okay to decide, finally, to let it go, to forgive your younger self for walking away, for understanding that you hated it as much as you loved it. This requires a lot of self-compassion. That research article also noted that sports participation peaks with teenagers, so you're in a position that a lot of folks are, having let something go that you used to do intensely.
It also sounds like it might be healthy to cultivate a new hobby or interest. We don't necessarily have the capacity to throw ourselves into something in our 40s like we did as children and teens. We might have more money but less time and a different body. But the world is our oyster, or it can be. There are so many activities and sports we can choose from. I say to find something that helps you cultivate and savor joy. That doesn't mean it's always easy, but it means there's always a positive reason for pursuing it.
posted by bluedaisy at 2:47 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]
These are generally positive reasons, which rings true to me as someone a bit younger than this demographic.
Now I'm in my 40s and want to settle a score with my younger self, I am going to go back to it and learn the things I never did, and get really good at it. But I kind of feel like I'm still doing it out of spite, not joy.
This sounds like something to journal about, or to discuss in therapy. Are you trying to punish your younger self or your current self? Is there some other authority figure whose voice is ringing in your head? Your younger self is you, so why do you want to be mean to yourself? Honestly, if this is a leisure activity, this sounds like awful motivation and driven by a lack of self-compassion. You said you want to "play," but play should have at least a bit of joy in it.
It's not bad to want to master something you didn't know before. It's also okay to decide, finally, to let it go, to forgive your younger self for walking away, for understanding that you hated it as much as you loved it. This requires a lot of self-compassion. That research article also noted that sports participation peaks with teenagers, so you're in a position that a lot of folks are, having let something go that you used to do intensely.
It also sounds like it might be healthy to cultivate a new hobby or interest. We don't necessarily have the capacity to throw ourselves into something in our 40s like we did as children and teens. We might have more money but less time and a different body. But the world is our oyster, or it can be. There are so many activities and sports we can choose from. I say to find something that helps you cultivate and savor joy. That doesn't mean it's always easy, but it means there's always a positive reason for pursuing it.
posted by bluedaisy at 2:47 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]
You might want to check out the "It's Never too Late" series on NYTimes for stories of people who take up new interests later in life. Here is gift link to It's Never too Late to Learn Cello.
"Vera Jiji found her first passion: the cello. She learned to love playing the orchestra instrument at the High School of Music & Art in Manhattan. “I didn’t pick the cello. They assigned it to me because I had a good ear and long fingers,” said the Bronx native, now 93. “I loved it. It’s a beautiful instrument that can sound like a human voice. It looked like a female body, with hips, breasts and a waist. Holding it and playing it was a very intimate experience.”
As an adult, though, she stopped playing the instrument. She became a professor and a fixture at Brooklyn College teaching English classes. She married twice and had four children. Her beloved cello, her mother’s high school graduation present, sat tucked away in the back of her clothing closet. It remained untouched, almost forgotten, for about 40 years. She picked up her cello again only after retiring at 62."
posted by brookeb at 3:02 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
"Vera Jiji found her first passion: the cello. She learned to love playing the orchestra instrument at the High School of Music & Art in Manhattan. “I didn’t pick the cello. They assigned it to me because I had a good ear and long fingers,” said the Bronx native, now 93. “I loved it. It’s a beautiful instrument that can sound like a human voice. It looked like a female body, with hips, breasts and a waist. Holding it and playing it was a very intimate experience.”
As an adult, though, she stopped playing the instrument. She became a professor and a fixture at Brooklyn College teaching English classes. She married twice and had four children. Her beloved cello, her mother’s high school graduation present, sat tucked away in the back of her clothing closet. It remained untouched, almost forgotten, for about 40 years. She picked up her cello again only after retiring at 62."
posted by brookeb at 3:02 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
What are some reasons that motivate adults to do recreational activities? Backed by science, if possible.
I mean, I don't feel it's a motivator for me personally, but if you want some science, there's
This recent article from Allie Volpe @ Vox.com might provide some perspective: It’s okay to suck when you try something new - You don’t need to be good at a hobby to enjoy it.
posted by soundguy99 at 3:08 PM on January 3
I mean, I don't feel it's a motivator for me personally, but if you want some science, there's
Playing a musical instrument is associated with slower cognitive decline in community-dwelling older adultsAnd that's just a few of the examples from a quick Google of "benefits of playing a musical instrument."
Learning to play a musical instrument provides a peaceful retreat from the pressures of daily life. Therapeutic outcomes of playing music include better communication skills, improved emotional release, and decreased anxiety and agitation.1 Musical training promotes cognitive function, mental health, and a connection to others.2,3 (with additional cited papers)
Playing an Instrument: Better for Your Brain than Just Listening
This recent article from Allie Volpe @ Vox.com might provide some perspective: It’s okay to suck when you try something new - You don’t need to be good at a hobby to enjoy it.
posted by soundguy99 at 3:08 PM on January 3
Here's a model of motivation for you: identity, values, high level goals. So you might say "I am a sporty person"; "I value community and this sport builds community through its amateur league"; "I want to be healthier and make friends"; "therefore I am resuming my practice of X." What aspects of your identity, what values that you hold, what general things you'd like out of life would resuming the activity align with? (If you can't think of any, I'd suggest gently that it's ok to let it go).
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:54 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:54 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
I would do it as a way to socialize. It's hard to make friends as an adult, and doing a sport/music/hobby is a great way to meet new people and form friendships, particularly if it's done through some sort of team, club, or organization.
posted by emd3737 at 5:44 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
posted by emd3737 at 5:44 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
That sounds very similar to me. I did the whole shebang for my hobby as a kid that it felt like a part-time job. Exams, competitions, recitals. I didn't quit in a huff though, I just kind of stopped and I picked it up again in 2016 or so. My friend was at my house and asked me to play and that inspired me to play into the wee hours of the morning.
After that I relearned some of my favourite things and it took a while to get my agility back. Now I was doing my hobby the way that I wanted, without all the pressure of exams, competitions and recitals.
I don't have any science backed evidence for you. All I can say, just start! Even if you start with spite, so what! Some of the memories of your childhood will come back, but you said you loved it. So I would lean into that love. Soon that will overtake the hate and the spite and you will develop a whole new relationship with your hobby. If you were really good, then you have a great foundation to start from and that can be really satisfying - that means you don't have to learn the basics as an adult, you already have them. So now the task is to find other things to enjoy about it, and to also learn more about yourself through this process. It's an exploratory process so you won't know those things at the outset and that's what's beautiful about coming back to something that you did so seriously as a kid.
Part of what helped me is finding a community with which to share my hobby. I found a group on meetup.com and it was great to see adults enjoying the same hobby in completely different ways from me. I learned a lot from them - not just in terms of techniques but things like history or other avenues of the hobby, etc.
Anyway, I'm talking about piano, so I learned about other pieces, composers, stories about the music, from my friends. Everyone has enthusiasm for music and it's infectious. I have learned a lot about myself in the years I've been doing piano again - how do I learn, how do I practice, what are my weak spots, how do I challenge myself, and helping others learn as well. I think that's really the key - you will learn about yourself in this process and it's a great experience to watch that unfold in yourself. So you may not know the reason for doing this hobby again, but you will eventually find it. For me, I always liked classical music. I love Mozart and Bach. So I focused on the things that I loved about piano when I started again. It was frustrating not being able to play fast like I used to so I had a lot of patience with myself and broke things down into sections and used those techniques I learned as a kid to get myself to level I was once at.
I also watch YouTube videos to find new to me music, and to learn techniques, hear from professionals etc. I also go to concerts. Music is a big part of my life again now - after a big hiatus of not doing it (about 15 years), which included not really listening to it and going to concerts.
Don't do your hobby in isolation. Find other people to do it with, learn more on your own with YouTube, watch others do it by attending performances/games/going to shows.
posted by foxjacket at 6:28 PM on January 3
After that I relearned some of my favourite things and it took a while to get my agility back. Now I was doing my hobby the way that I wanted, without all the pressure of exams, competitions and recitals.
I don't have any science backed evidence for you. All I can say, just start! Even if you start with spite, so what! Some of the memories of your childhood will come back, but you said you loved it. So I would lean into that love. Soon that will overtake the hate and the spite and you will develop a whole new relationship with your hobby. If you were really good, then you have a great foundation to start from and that can be really satisfying - that means you don't have to learn the basics as an adult, you already have them. So now the task is to find other things to enjoy about it, and to also learn more about yourself through this process. It's an exploratory process so you won't know those things at the outset and that's what's beautiful about coming back to something that you did so seriously as a kid.
Part of what helped me is finding a community with which to share my hobby. I found a group on meetup.com and it was great to see adults enjoying the same hobby in completely different ways from me. I learned a lot from them - not just in terms of techniques but things like history or other avenues of the hobby, etc.
Anyway, I'm talking about piano, so I learned about other pieces, composers, stories about the music, from my friends. Everyone has enthusiasm for music and it's infectious. I have learned a lot about myself in the years I've been doing piano again - how do I learn, how do I practice, what are my weak spots, how do I challenge myself, and helping others learn as well. I think that's really the key - you will learn about yourself in this process and it's a great experience to watch that unfold in yourself. So you may not know the reason for doing this hobby again, but you will eventually find it. For me, I always liked classical music. I love Mozart and Bach. So I focused on the things that I loved about piano when I started again. It was frustrating not being able to play fast like I used to so I had a lot of patience with myself and broke things down into sections and used those techniques I learned as a kid to get myself to level I was once at.
I also watch YouTube videos to find new to me music, and to learn techniques, hear from professionals etc. I also go to concerts. Music is a big part of my life again now - after a big hiatus of not doing it (about 15 years), which included not really listening to it and going to concerts.
Don't do your hobby in isolation. Find other people to do it with, learn more on your own with YouTube, watch others do it by attending performances/games/going to shows.
posted by foxjacket at 6:28 PM on January 3
Sports/instruments/games keep your mind sharp and help prevent dementia? And if you do them with others and make new friends who you keep doing the activity with well into retirement age, socializing also helps prevent dementia.
posted by dabadoo at 8:22 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
posted by dabadoo at 8:22 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]
I'm following basically what you've described--I used to play fingerstyle guitar a lot in my teens/twenties, more intermittently later, and now in my early 50s I'm taking it much more seriously and surpassing what I could do then. But it's not about spite as much as remembering the pleasures of it, and picking up where I left off but with a new perspective and patience.
Beyond the 'flow state' that mbrubeck mentioned, the fact that I am playing for 60-90 minutes at the end of the day when I probably would otherwise be doomscrolling is a huge plus for my mental well being.
posted by umbú at 9:01 PM on January 3
Beyond the 'flow state' that mbrubeck mentioned, the fact that I am playing for 60-90 minutes at the end of the day when I probably would otherwise be doomscrolling is a huge plus for my mental well being.
posted by umbú at 9:01 PM on January 3
The idea that you have to have a utilitarian reason to do something creative is powerful and destructive and the only way (well, the only way I've found) to counter it is to just do the thing despite the inner voice asking "but why?"
Sure, it's great that doing x reduces cognitive decline etc, but that's not the reason you do it. You do it for its own sake.
We don't (I hope!) need to justify other aspects of our lives in this way, for example we don't agonise about why we have friends if they don't materially advance our lives.
But we've been saturated with this idea that everything creative we do has to be justified with "I could make money doing this" or "I could change the world doing this" and that's toxic and destructive because following that logic would mean that the vast majority of people would never be able to do anything creative.
I deal with this by doing the thing despite all the arguments my inner sceptic brings up. I acknowledge that I'm doing this just to see what happens, just to see whether I can.
At first, it feels bad and uncomfortable. That doesn't mean anything, it's not a sign that I'm "really meant" to do something else. After a while, I start getting lost in the process for it's own sake.
And that feels so good.
posted by Zumbador at 9:06 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]
Sure, it's great that doing x reduces cognitive decline etc, but that's not the reason you do it. You do it for its own sake.
We don't (I hope!) need to justify other aspects of our lives in this way, for example we don't agonise about why we have friends if they don't materially advance our lives.
But we've been saturated with this idea that everything creative we do has to be justified with "I could make money doing this" or "I could change the world doing this" and that's toxic and destructive because following that logic would mean that the vast majority of people would never be able to do anything creative.
I deal with this by doing the thing despite all the arguments my inner sceptic brings up. I acknowledge that I'm doing this just to see what happens, just to see whether I can.
At first, it feels bad and uncomfortable. That doesn't mean anything, it's not a sign that I'm "really meant" to do something else. After a while, I start getting lost in the process for it's own sake.
And that feels so good.
posted by Zumbador at 9:06 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]
Just this spring, I solved a math problem left over from 1970, and a few years ago, I picked up my flute after not playing for 45 years. There are a variety of motivations.
With the math problem, a big part was just to know the answer, but also to validate my view of myself as a mathematician despite not having not done any hard math in a long time.
Playing the flute again was largely do to having time to fill in retirement, but also just the pleasure of making music.
posted by SemiSalt at 6:08 AM on January 4
With the math problem, a big part was just to know the answer, but also to validate my view of myself as a mathematician despite not having not done any hard math in a long time.
Playing the flute again was largely do to having time to fill in retirement, but also just the pleasure of making music.
posted by SemiSalt at 6:08 AM on January 4
Some studies on adult mental health and hobbies are cited here.
Personally, I think going back to skills I once had vs trying something new is interesting and humbling. Ways to teach and learn skills can change, things that were once easy may be challenging now (and vice versa), even things that were and remain easy and familiar can be explored more deeply without the external pressure that so often gets placed on kids. So there's maybe kind of a sideways way to think about the spite (and I very much recognizing the motivating power of spite) that's less aimed at yourself and might be more sustainable - reclaiming this activity from the context that made you resent is as a kid and finding the joy in the process of mastery for yourself as an adult.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:36 AM on January 4 [1 favorite]
Personally, I think going back to skills I once had vs trying something new is interesting and humbling. Ways to teach and learn skills can change, things that were once easy may be challenging now (and vice versa), even things that were and remain easy and familiar can be explored more deeply without the external pressure that so often gets placed on kids. So there's maybe kind of a sideways way to think about the spite (and I very much recognizing the motivating power of spite) that's less aimed at yourself and might be more sustainable - reclaiming this activity from the context that made you resent is as a kid and finding the joy in the process of mastery for yourself as an adult.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:36 AM on January 4 [1 favorite]
Science has proven that longevity results from a positive mindset. Doing things we enjoy, like mastering a hobby, contributes to a positive mindset.
But your framing sure gives me pause... settling a score with your younger self doesn't scream "positive".
posted by RajahKing at 10:58 AM on January 4
But your framing sure gives me pause... settling a score with your younger self doesn't scream "positive".
posted by RajahKing at 10:58 AM on January 4
I encourage you to read this recent FPP, The joy is in the playing - the linked article is thoughtful and lovely, and the comments in the MeFi thread are thoughtful and lovely as well.
That article captures a lot of the reasons that I engage in hobbies I'll never be good at - drawing, playing piano and guitar, learning foreign languages: there can be a lot of delight in learning a new thing, and it can make your brain discover places you wouldn't have otherwise. I get a kick out of learning how the kanji for a Japanese word can illuminate its meaning; I had a little aha moment this week when I thought about the fact that the Vince Guaraldi sheet music I was learning didn't seem to include the root note of the chords ... very likely because the bass player was playing those notes, which just blew my mind a tiny bit.
It might be helpful to think about the things you DO enjoy. Why do you enjoy those things? What gives you joy there? In your non-hobby hours, do you get joy from learning things? connecting with other people? relaxing tense muscles? feeling physical pleasure? experiencing beauty or humor? encountering new things, images or sounds or ideas? having space in your head to think about things?
Letting yourself spend time with a hobby can create space for all those things, and the less competitive and ambitious you are about how you engage with music or art or sport, the more that door opens up.
posted by kristi at 12:07 PM on January 5 [1 favorite]
That article captures a lot of the reasons that I engage in hobbies I'll never be good at - drawing, playing piano and guitar, learning foreign languages: there can be a lot of delight in learning a new thing, and it can make your brain discover places you wouldn't have otherwise. I get a kick out of learning how the kanji for a Japanese word can illuminate its meaning; I had a little aha moment this week when I thought about the fact that the Vince Guaraldi sheet music I was learning didn't seem to include the root note of the chords ... very likely because the bass player was playing those notes, which just blew my mind a tiny bit.
It might be helpful to think about the things you DO enjoy. Why do you enjoy those things? What gives you joy there? In your non-hobby hours, do you get joy from learning things? connecting with other people? relaxing tense muscles? feeling physical pleasure? experiencing beauty or humor? encountering new things, images or sounds or ideas? having space in your head to think about things?
Letting yourself spend time with a hobby can create space for all those things, and the less competitive and ambitious you are about how you engage with music or art or sport, the more that door opens up.
posted by kristi at 12:07 PM on January 5 [1 favorite]
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*And I think wanting science backed reasons could be making this more stressful for you? I can't say for sure since I'm not you, but thinking about hobbies that way would for me.
posted by wheatlets at 12:42 PM on January 3 [10 favorites]