words and other friends
November 2, 2023 12:30 PM Subscribe
Writing/Art-making/HobbyistFilter, seeking your advice! After 1.5 years of really focusing on writing speculative fiction short stories, and finding some external success, I'm growing ambivalent about how much I enjoy writing. I am not sure if I'm just going through a "this is tough!" period, or if I would be better suited to explore other creative outlets. Help?
I'm one of many folks who identified with writing/the goal of being a novelist as a kid, and really enjoyed keeping an (often embarassingly over-active) LiveJournal in high school and starting a literary zine with friends. Back in high school, I hit this wall around the specific craft of storytelling - I didn't really enjoy the experience of crafting and telling stories, exactly, but I very much enjoyed (1) the way writing helped clarified what I thought, believed, and could imagine, and (2) collaborating with other people on projects like that zine. I went in other directions with work and hobbies (mostly focusing on sports like basketball, games, etc.) but kept dipping back in throughout my twenties. I wrote and sold a couple of longer-form essays and released a Twine game.
I would say my experience remained the same over this time - I enjoyed the rush of a project, the creative research and building up a process, and getting to work with editors/seeking feedback/finding a community around that artifact.
Flash forward to 32 - I decide, okay, storytelling IS a craft! I'm going to learn it! I found an amazing writing group / community in my city, took several brief classes/workshops, finished about twelve stories, and even had my first piece accepted for a print anthology! Yayy! HOWEVER. It's more of the same - I absolutely adore the friends I've made through this community, and the process of comparing notes, encouraging each other, etc. I love getting the chance to explore my own values by writing about queer and trans experiences, climate disasters, speculative futures, monsters. And in general, I DO enjoy the feeling that I'm mid-process on a creative work, and I can take myself on little experiential and research dates to, say, see local wildlife scurrying around or whatever and those little experiences can help this fictional universe grow and become clearer.
On the other hand, I don't really how isolated the experience of fiction writing is outside of that group time. While I enjoy "hanging out" with myself at a coffee shop thinking about philosophy in the context of a monster I want to write about, I don't really love the performance or communicative act of telling stories for others. Unlike many of my writing peers, I really dislike reading or performing - I know that's not a requisite quality, just a data point here. With some of my other hobbies (like adult recreation sports leagues, watching movies with friends, going on long walks around the city), I very much enjoy exploring the community building/interpersonal and often physical/embodied/tactile elements of that experience. I've also just been kind of ambivalent and occasionally bummed out about writing. I think about other creative pursuits, like collaborating on a game design jam or film project or play and those seem MUCH more appealing on the whole (I volunteered as an usher for community theater several times this summer and loved it) but I'm not really sure how I would fit in. I can program, for instance, but that's more of the "intense solo-time" as the main characteristic of the work itself.
Is intensive, individual work just the cost/requisite Doing of creative work, even if I find the most joy in the community context. Do you have tips for finding other sweet spots - I don't know, helping to plan and host a film festival is one thing that comes to mind? I DO get a lot out of that kind of personal scaffolding of thoughts and feelings, as I've described above, which makes me not want to give up on having a creative practice of some kind that I really nurture - but I feel like I've been going in the wrong direction a bit. I would love any advice you may have.
Thank you!!
I'm one of many folks who identified with writing/the goal of being a novelist as a kid, and really enjoyed keeping an (often embarassingly over-active) LiveJournal in high school and starting a literary zine with friends. Back in high school, I hit this wall around the specific craft of storytelling - I didn't really enjoy the experience of crafting and telling stories, exactly, but I very much enjoyed (1) the way writing helped clarified what I thought, believed, and could imagine, and (2) collaborating with other people on projects like that zine. I went in other directions with work and hobbies (mostly focusing on sports like basketball, games, etc.) but kept dipping back in throughout my twenties. I wrote and sold a couple of longer-form essays and released a Twine game.
I would say my experience remained the same over this time - I enjoyed the rush of a project, the creative research and building up a process, and getting to work with editors/seeking feedback/finding a community around that artifact.
Flash forward to 32 - I decide, okay, storytelling IS a craft! I'm going to learn it! I found an amazing writing group / community in my city, took several brief classes/workshops, finished about twelve stories, and even had my first piece accepted for a print anthology! Yayy! HOWEVER. It's more of the same - I absolutely adore the friends I've made through this community, and the process of comparing notes, encouraging each other, etc. I love getting the chance to explore my own values by writing about queer and trans experiences, climate disasters, speculative futures, monsters. And in general, I DO enjoy the feeling that I'm mid-process on a creative work, and I can take myself on little experiential and research dates to, say, see local wildlife scurrying around or whatever and those little experiences can help this fictional universe grow and become clearer.
On the other hand, I don't really how isolated the experience of fiction writing is outside of that group time. While I enjoy "hanging out" with myself at a coffee shop thinking about philosophy in the context of a monster I want to write about, I don't really love the performance or communicative act of telling stories for others. Unlike many of my writing peers, I really dislike reading or performing - I know that's not a requisite quality, just a data point here. With some of my other hobbies (like adult recreation sports leagues, watching movies with friends, going on long walks around the city), I very much enjoy exploring the community building/interpersonal and often physical/embodied/tactile elements of that experience. I've also just been kind of ambivalent and occasionally bummed out about writing. I think about other creative pursuits, like collaborating on a game design jam or film project or play and those seem MUCH more appealing on the whole (I volunteered as an usher for community theater several times this summer and loved it) but I'm not really sure how I would fit in. I can program, for instance, but that's more of the "intense solo-time" as the main characteristic of the work itself.
Is intensive, individual work just the cost/requisite Doing of creative work, even if I find the most joy in the community context. Do you have tips for finding other sweet spots - I don't know, helping to plan and host a film festival is one thing that comes to mind? I DO get a lot out of that kind of personal scaffolding of thoughts and feelings, as I've described above, which makes me not want to give up on having a creative practice of some kind that I really nurture - but I feel like I've been going in the wrong direction a bit. I would love any advice you may have.
Thank you!!
I think your instinct to redirect some of your creative energy towards collaborative projects is a really good one!
What about writing plays? I have friends who write plays that other people then direct and act in, so there is still the "putting your stuff out there in front of a live audience" thing but you're not actually performing yourself. It's good to have some idea of the logistics of theater when you're writing a play, so if this interests you it's definitely worth getting involved in a community theater production in more of a backstage way if you can swing it. You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) start off by writing a full-length fully staged costume drama - people perform one-acts, skits, radio plays, all kinds of stuff.
Or how do you feel about RPGs (e.g. Dungeons and Dragons)? They involve a lot of community and also fictional world-building. I also know or know of multiple people who've found writing partners through RPGs (maybe most famously Jame SA Corey of The Expanse fame).
Basically I agree with shornco - try things that sound rewarding, and if they turn out not to be rewarding (and you don't see a way to make them more rewarding - you probably won't end up in your ideal role the first time you interact with a group running a film festival or what have you) then you can move on to the next thing.
posted by mskyle at 1:00 PM on November 2, 2023
What about writing plays? I have friends who write plays that other people then direct and act in, so there is still the "putting your stuff out there in front of a live audience" thing but you're not actually performing yourself. It's good to have some idea of the logistics of theater when you're writing a play, so if this interests you it's definitely worth getting involved in a community theater production in more of a backstage way if you can swing it. You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) start off by writing a full-length fully staged costume drama - people perform one-acts, skits, radio plays, all kinds of stuff.
Or how do you feel about RPGs (e.g. Dungeons and Dragons)? They involve a lot of community and also fictional world-building. I also know or know of multiple people who've found writing partners through RPGs (maybe most famously Jame SA Corey of The Expanse fame).
Basically I agree with shornco - try things that sound rewarding, and if they turn out not to be rewarding (and you don't see a way to make them more rewarding - you probably won't end up in your ideal role the first time you interact with a group running a film festival or what have you) then you can move on to the next thing.
posted by mskyle at 1:00 PM on November 2, 2023
Do you want to write or to be a writer?
That distinction can tell you a lot.
Do the ones that make you happy and give you energy, and then see what’s missing. Even if the time isn’t right for everything right now, that doesn’t mean things won’t change.
As a writer myself, I’d advocate for putting that aside and do it when/ if you feel up to it. I know I HAVE to write or I wither. If
That’s not how you feel, take a break.
posted by mermaidcafe at 1:10 PM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
That distinction can tell you a lot.
Do the ones that make you happy and give you energy, and then see what’s missing. Even if the time isn’t right for everything right now, that doesn’t mean things won’t change.
As a writer myself, I’d advocate for putting that aside and do it when/ if you feel up to it. I know I HAVE to write or I wither. If
That’s not how you feel, take a break.
posted by mermaidcafe at 1:10 PM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
There's no one way to be a writer. Some famous writers had terrible trouble actually getting the words out. Other produce voluminously without apparent trouble. Some are introverts, some aren't.
That said, you obviously enjoy the group aspects, so why not try a collaboration with one of the writers you click with now, or try out writing for games, films, or theater?
posted by zompist at 1:14 PM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
That said, you obviously enjoy the group aspects, so why not try a collaboration with one of the writers you click with now, or try out writing for games, films, or theater?
posted by zompist at 1:14 PM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
Yes, you can explore other things. I also thought of radio plays, or maybe comics, as writing projects that involve different sorts of collaboration, but it's also OK to try an unrelated creative field. If you end up missing the aspects of writing you find rewarding you can always take it up again, it's not permanently and forever off the table if you stop.
Is intensive, individual work just the cost/requisite Doing of creative work, even if I find the most joy in the community context. Do you have tips for finding other sweet spots - I don't know, helping to plan and host a film festival is one thing that comes to mind?
Your phrasing is interesting to me because for many writers it really isn't a cost or a requisite - it's a benefit to be working individually. That doesn't mean writing isn't for you, but maybe it does mean you at least need to alternate projects? Planning a film festival or another form of arts management sounds like a good place to start.
posted by Ballad of Peckham Rye at 1:17 PM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
Is intensive, individual work just the cost/requisite Doing of creative work, even if I find the most joy in the community context. Do you have tips for finding other sweet spots - I don't know, helping to plan and host a film festival is one thing that comes to mind?
Your phrasing is interesting to me because for many writers it really isn't a cost or a requisite - it's a benefit to be working individually. That doesn't mean writing isn't for you, but maybe it does mean you at least need to alternate projects? Planning a film festival or another form of arts management sounds like a good place to start.
posted by Ballad of Peckham Rye at 1:17 PM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
My favorite novel in recent years is written in the form of letters exchanged between two authors. They're no less successful novelists for working in this format. What group format might you try next?
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 1:59 PM on November 2, 2023
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 1:59 PM on November 2, 2023
Everyone has their own creative path.
I wrote fiction for several years, and made some interesting non-commercial work, but I eventually dropped it after I was less personally motivated in that particular medium. For me, creating serious art (there's also fun) often depends upon resolving creative questions and challenges in a personal direction.
posted by ovvl at 8:31 PM on November 2, 2023
I wrote fiction for several years, and made some interesting non-commercial work, but I eventually dropped it after I was less personally motivated in that particular medium. For me, creating serious art (there's also fun) often depends upon resolving creative questions and challenges in a personal direction.
posted by ovvl at 8:31 PM on November 2, 2023
I might be misunderstanding the question.
Are you having doubts whether you should be writing because of the often-told myth that a "real" writer doesn't need any other satisfaction except for writing? That real writers are fulfilled by writing and nothing else?
That if you need other things, or find writing irksome, you're not really a true writer?
Those ideas are false.
You are figuring out what works for you. That is all you can do.
I was lead astray by those lies myself, until I realised that writing (for me) is story telling, and that's what I want to do. Most of the time it's lonely, a lot of the time it's frustrating, but I get enough reward and enjoyment from the parts that do work for me to carry on.
But that's me. You'll figure out a different approach, because you have different needs. All valid.
posted by Zumbador at 9:20 PM on November 2, 2023
Are you having doubts whether you should be writing because of the often-told myth that a "real" writer doesn't need any other satisfaction except for writing? That real writers are fulfilled by writing and nothing else?
That if you need other things, or find writing irksome, you're not really a true writer?
Those ideas are false.
You are figuring out what works for you. That is all you can do.
I was lead astray by those lies myself, until I realised that writing (for me) is story telling, and that's what I want to do. Most of the time it's lonely, a lot of the time it's frustrating, but I get enough reward and enjoyment from the parts that do work for me to carry on.
But that's me. You'll figure out a different approach, because you have different needs. All valid.
posted by Zumbador at 9:20 PM on November 2, 2023
You have permission from this internet stranger to stop writing for a bit and go do one of those other things you would enjoy exploring. Absolutely go for AmDram - there are so many ways to be involved creatively and it's entirely focussed around communal effort. Likewise organising events. I do a bit of this, mostly focussed around handling the promo and making fun visual installations, but there might be other aspects better suited to you.
Writing will always be there if you find you miss it.
posted by freya_lamb at 7:17 AM on November 3, 2023
Writing will always be there if you find you miss it.
posted by freya_lamb at 7:17 AM on November 3, 2023
Based in what you've written here, I think you'd really enjoy the indie TTRPG community. It's collaborative, speculative and metaphorical, ideas based, etc. Check out this micro-rpg game jam over on tumblr!
posted by radiogreentea at 9:40 AM on November 3, 2023
posted by radiogreentea at 9:40 AM on November 3, 2023
You sound a lot like me! I too had aspirations of being a writer since childhood and also had very active online blogs, but have fallen out of interest with fiction writing as an adult and have moved on to other things: performance art, event & stage production & direction, media writing esp journalism and games. I'm also deeply interested in community building and the physical experience.
Game jams can be pretty inclusive spaces. My programming skills are stuck in historical eras, but I've been to a couple of game jams and was able to utilise my writing and research skills aplenty without needing to code once.
Since you talk about enjoying community and gatherings - perhaps producing or event management could be your vibe. This link from the Blue talks about people hosting parties as book launches - sounds like you could put together something similar. There are also writers festivals and other similar events out there that will keep you connected to writing community even though you're not writing per se.
You could also look into teaching or running workshops, or even helping to organise and facilitate workshops led by someone else.
posted by creatrixtiara at 7:16 PM on November 3, 2023
Game jams can be pretty inclusive spaces. My programming skills are stuck in historical eras, but I've been to a couple of game jams and was able to utilise my writing and research skills aplenty without needing to code once.
Since you talk about enjoying community and gatherings - perhaps producing or event management could be your vibe. This link from the Blue talks about people hosting parties as book launches - sounds like you could put together something similar. There are also writers festivals and other similar events out there that will keep you connected to writing community even though you're not writing per se.
You could also look into teaching or running workshops, or even helping to organise and facilitate workshops led by someone else.
posted by creatrixtiara at 7:16 PM on November 3, 2023
Response by poster: Ahhh this was incredibly helpful. Thank you for your kind and incisive comments, y'all.
I love the suggestions to explore variations like playwriting, RPGs, games, radio plays, experimental writing forms, etc. There's so much to explore here.
As I sat with your suggestions, and introspected a bit, I realized that I had spent the last couple of weeks trying to kick the tires on my first novel-length project - and what that meant practically was stressing, doubting, "planning", and not a lot of writing. My pessimistic take on the intrinsic pleasure of writing was maybe more to do with disliking novel planning, and this not-great idea I had internalized that short stories would serve as "practice" for the longer novel. I have been cultivating the things I wish to explore and say in art, as ovvl smartly zeroes in on. But I think I made the mistake of thinking I couldn't explore those sets of themes in a more wandery, smaller, perhaps more social set of forms and experiments. And maybe there will be a future time where a novel-length project suits this work best. But right now, it's an energy zapping pursuit, and I want to cultivate joy and engagement along the way.
And on that note.. radiogreentea, the indie TTRPG community is a brilliant suggestion. I've had such a creative crush on this world for years, as a player and reader. The micro-rpg jam was just that little nudge I needed (I went for it and now I feel all giddy/energized/excited :p ) - thank you again.
posted by elephantsvanish at 7:14 PM on November 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
I love the suggestions to explore variations like playwriting, RPGs, games, radio plays, experimental writing forms, etc. There's so much to explore here.
As I sat with your suggestions, and introspected a bit, I realized that I had spent the last couple of weeks trying to kick the tires on my first novel-length project - and what that meant practically was stressing, doubting, "planning", and not a lot of writing. My pessimistic take on the intrinsic pleasure of writing was maybe more to do with disliking novel planning, and this not-great idea I had internalized that short stories would serve as "practice" for the longer novel. I have been cultivating the things I wish to explore and say in art, as ovvl smartly zeroes in on. But I think I made the mistake of thinking I couldn't explore those sets of themes in a more wandery, smaller, perhaps more social set of forms and experiments. And maybe there will be a future time where a novel-length project suits this work best. But right now, it's an energy zapping pursuit, and I want to cultivate joy and engagement along the way.
And on that note.. radiogreentea, the indie TTRPG community is a brilliant suggestion. I've had such a creative crush on this world for years, as a player and reader. The micro-rpg jam was just that little nudge I needed (I went for it and now I feel all giddy/energized/excited :p ) - thank you again.
posted by elephantsvanish at 7:14 PM on November 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
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posted by shornco at 12:52 PM on November 2, 2023 [3 favorites]