How to get back into 'difficult' reading
March 3, 2023 3:48 PM Subscribe
Why do I struggle so much now with intellectually demanding, complex fiction and TV/movies now and how can I get back into that kind of art consumption?
I have always been a big reader and but since 2020 I have noticed that I find reading serious, literary, demanding work a real struggle. Not only do I find such books hard to finish, but I also resent it and do not enjoy it. But I feel like I am missing out on so many good books because if it feels difficult I'm just not into it. Whereas I can devour rom-coms and murder mysteries in a matter of hours, even if they are long. I have this problem with TV and movies as well, but that doesn't bother me as much as the books.
I'm sure part of this has to do with age, my intense job, the way using a smart phone has messed with my concentration, my general high levels of stress. I know there is nothing wrong with enjoying works that are light and easy. But I feel like my imagination/creative life has become somewhat stunted because of my inability to enjoy things that feel difficult or demanding or not immediately pleasurable. And it messes with my sense of myself - I've never been particularly good at anything but I've always been a bookworm and that's always been kind of a core part of my identity. And now that part of me seems to have gone?
My question is really how I can get back into watching/reading/enjoying work that feels more demanding and complicated, without feeling bored and resentful or wanting to give up halfway through. Mostly seeking advice re: reading, but movies and TV-specific advice would also be welcome. Thanks!
I'll forestall any suggestions to join a bookclub in advance - they really don't work for me. I really don't like having reading assigned to me.
I have always been a big reader and but since 2020 I have noticed that I find reading serious, literary, demanding work a real struggle. Not only do I find such books hard to finish, but I also resent it and do not enjoy it. But I feel like I am missing out on so many good books because if it feels difficult I'm just not into it. Whereas I can devour rom-coms and murder mysteries in a matter of hours, even if they are long. I have this problem with TV and movies as well, but that doesn't bother me as much as the books.
I'm sure part of this has to do with age, my intense job, the way using a smart phone has messed with my concentration, my general high levels of stress. I know there is nothing wrong with enjoying works that are light and easy. But I feel like my imagination/creative life has become somewhat stunted because of my inability to enjoy things that feel difficult or demanding or not immediately pleasurable. And it messes with my sense of myself - I've never been particularly good at anything but I've always been a bookworm and that's always been kind of a core part of my identity. And now that part of me seems to have gone?
My question is really how I can get back into watching/reading/enjoying work that feels more demanding and complicated, without feeling bored and resentful or wanting to give up halfway through. Mostly seeking advice re: reading, but movies and TV-specific advice would also be welcome. Thanks!
I'll forestall any suggestions to join a bookclub in advance - they really don't work for me. I really don't like having reading assigned to me.
Something I've started doing in the last year or two that I've never really done before is that I'll have a couple books going at a time. One that's dense, or something that I want to read but might not feel 100% into all the time, and one shitty lil popcorn book. When I feel my attention start to wane on the dense one, I'll flip over to the easy reading. When I've reestablished a good reading rhythm, back to the harder one. Etc. I read on a kindle so this is trivial.
Used to be I'd either finish a whole book at a time, or quit it midway never to return. Now I let myself be a little more flexible. Is it a "perfect" way to read? Yeah probably not, I'm not retaining characters or plots quite as well as before. But no one's here quizzing me about it and I'm not on some moral hero's journey, so fuck it.
posted by phunniemee at 4:01 PM on March 3, 2023 [19 favorites]
Used to be I'd either finish a whole book at a time, or quit it midway never to return. Now I let myself be a little more flexible. Is it a "perfect" way to read? Yeah probably not, I'm not retaining characters or plots quite as well as before. But no one's here quizzing me about it and I'm not on some moral hero's journey, so fuck it.
posted by phunniemee at 4:01 PM on March 3, 2023 [19 favorites]
I have noticed this general trend in my reading as well, though starting a decade back or more. Then for several months, I lived somewhere where I didn't really have data on my phone in any consistent way (I could text but not use it for the internet more than just a little bit each day because it was so expensive), and I read so much. My kids and I just gobbled up novels because we didn't have consistent access to the internet or other media.
But also, you said this has been going on since 2020, and then you blame your job for your inability to find pleasure in reading. But I think you're neglecting to mention the elephant in the room, this terrible, shared pandemic that's been incredibly stressful.
A few things you could try: put your phone in another room, have a stack of the harder books near you, and set a timer for 30 minutes of reading. If you can't get into one, toss it aside and start the next. Then, after 30 minutes, go do something else. Maybe it'll be easier to focus when you know you only have a small amount of time, so you won't beat yourself up for not reading more at that moment.
posted by bluedaisy at 4:04 PM on March 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
But also, you said this has been going on since 2020, and then you blame your job for your inability to find pleasure in reading. But I think you're neglecting to mention the elephant in the room, this terrible, shared pandemic that's been incredibly stressful.
A few things you could try: put your phone in another room, have a stack of the harder books near you, and set a timer for 30 minutes of reading. If you can't get into one, toss it aside and start the next. Then, after 30 minutes, go do something else. Maybe it'll be easier to focus when you know you only have a small amount of time, so you won't beat yourself up for not reading more at that moment.
posted by bluedaisy at 4:04 PM on March 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
One thing that has worked for me is to change my reading location. I've found I do good heavy reading at a bar, for instance, which naturally may not be your choice, but the point is I have trouble reading at home for reasons that are difficult to articulate but can blast through 50 pages in a couple hours while nursing a beer or whiskey.
So consider finding a "third place" for yourself where you can (or are forced to) concentrate on the book and you may find that in this different context you are able to read quite well. Cafe, park, even just a different room in the house or time of day. It can be the smallest thing that makes the change.
I hope you find your way forward! I have struggled with this too.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 4:06 PM on March 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
So consider finding a "third place" for yourself where you can (or are forced to) concentrate on the book and you may find that in this different context you are able to read quite well. Cafe, park, even just a different room in the house or time of day. It can be the smallest thing that makes the change.
I hope you find your way forward! I have struggled with this too.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 4:06 PM on March 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
Since I got covid my reading has been greatly diminished. Sitting next to me as I type this is The Books of Jacob by Olga Tokarczuk that I've yet to start as I languish in another book. Just a few years ago I would typically read 3 or 4 books simultaneously, I would just devour books. Having a hundred books to read on my e-ink device was amazing.
No commute meant less structured daily reading time, but the first part of lockdown was a dream, I got an e-ink reader that glows to read anywhere. And then covid. I've perhaps finished three books since. I even got reading glasses. I got a neuro eval as part of getting assessed for ADHD. The doc's conclusion was that the headaches and fog was just old age and depression. Which is covid.
posted by zenon at 4:12 PM on March 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
No commute meant less structured daily reading time, but the first part of lockdown was a dream, I got an e-ink reader that glows to read anywhere. And then covid. I've perhaps finished three books since. I even got reading glasses. I got a neuro eval as part of getting assessed for ADHD. The doc's conclusion was that the headaches and fog was just old age and depression. Which is covid.
posted by zenon at 4:12 PM on March 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Forgive me for being too obvious, but you could start by reading short stories and novellas, and work your way up to big novels. Just like you wouldn’t start a marathon after not running for a few years.
posted by kevinbelt at 4:24 PM on March 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 4:24 PM on March 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
WFH dashed my daily commute reading. For me it's a struggle to get through any book, difficult or light, so I set a very tiny goal every day. Sometimes the goal is as short as one chapter or 15 minutes. If I reach that goal, I can stop without guilt or I can choose to continue. Most of the time I will continue for a little while longer. I'm not tearing through books as quickly as I used to, but my reading "muscle" is strengthening again.
posted by kimberussell at 4:25 PM on March 3, 2023
posted by kimberussell at 4:25 PM on March 3, 2023
Best answer: I remember your other posts, so forgive me for a little cross-pollination here. Personally, I could not manage serious books (or serious anything) when I was helping to care for a seriously ill parent. Cheesy comedy shows and breezy airport books were about all I could manage. Cognitive recovery's been slow for me since, I'll be honest. I don't know that it would have been better or faster to try to fix it, but I haven't; I just went with it.
I hear you when you say this challenges your sense of self. The whole experience did that to me, personally, I don't know about you. All the strain of the postpartum period with only a fraction of the joy.
posted by eirias at 4:57 PM on March 3, 2023 [9 favorites]
I hear you when you say this challenges your sense of self. The whole experience did that to me, personally, I don't know about you. All the strain of the postpartum period with only a fraction of the joy.
posted by eirias at 4:57 PM on March 3, 2023 [9 favorites]
Best answer: I find that working full time, in a demanding job, and staying on top of the rest of my life takes a lot of mental bandwidth. So I do read in bed most days but I don’t have the capacity to read anything complex. It is a different story when I’m on vacation and my brain isn’t already frazzled when I open a book. I know you’ve had a lot of stressful things going on in the last couple of years so make sure you’re realistic about what you can do on top of that.
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:01 PM on March 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:01 PM on March 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
I don't know how old you are, but it might be that your close range vision is starting to deteriorate as it does when we get older. Not that you've lost your ability to focus at close range, but rather it is now taking some effort and reading is becoming neurologically tiring.
Experiment with changing the light conditions where you read, with larger print books or larger fonts on an e-reader, and try taking five minute breaks in the middle of hour long reading sessions, where you either close your eyes or switch to only using your distance vision.
posted by Jane the Brown at 5:18 PM on March 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
Experiment with changing the light conditions where you read, with larger print books or larger fonts on an e-reader, and try taking five minute breaks in the middle of hour long reading sessions, where you either close your eyes or switch to only using your distance vision.
posted by Jane the Brown at 5:18 PM on March 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
This has happened to me a few times as an adult, it sucks, the start of covid was definitely one but most recently several months this past summer/fall. For me it was never a great sign of what was going on mentally or emotionally, and there's only so much of that we can control, but the self-awareness helped me at least accept and understand why my focus was broken at this particular moment.
One thing I did was legit just take a break and not try to force it, even if I missed wanting the heavier stuff. Something that helped me in that time was re-reading/re-watching/re-listening to something long and involved that I knew I liked, which isn't something I normally do much, but it hit a good middle ground for me of giving me something enjoyable that I could focus on but wasn't actually that much work. Sometime after that I'd also listen to audiobooks of more complex stuff on long walks, and having more than one thing to do at once also helped. I also like having an audiobook, a dead tree book, and a couple things on my Kindle I can switch between, though I know some people hate reading like that.
Eventually, I'd grab on to something that felt like I really wanted to dig into it, and then something else, and now I'm pretty much back to, if not where I was in 2019, at least more able to get into the things I normally would be excited about.
posted by jameaterblues at 5:19 PM on March 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
One thing I did was legit just take a break and not try to force it, even if I missed wanting the heavier stuff. Something that helped me in that time was re-reading/re-watching/re-listening to something long and involved that I knew I liked, which isn't something I normally do much, but it hit a good middle ground for me of giving me something enjoyable that I could focus on but wasn't actually that much work. Sometime after that I'd also listen to audiobooks of more complex stuff on long walks, and having more than one thing to do at once also helped. I also like having an audiobook, a dead tree book, and a couple things on my Kindle I can switch between, though I know some people hate reading like that.
Eventually, I'd grab on to something that felt like I really wanted to dig into it, and then something else, and now I'm pretty much back to, if not where I was in 2019, at least more able to get into the things I normally would be excited about.
posted by jameaterblues at 5:19 PM on March 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Two things that helped me do more of that (after hitting the same wall in 2020) were:
Finding more "literary" mysteries/ thrillers/ pageturners. I needed plots that pulled me onward, but they didn't have to be total crap.
For less pageturner plots, reading young adult books. They're usually faster paced and have clearer language.
posted by metasarah at 5:25 PM on March 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Finding more "literary" mysteries/ thrillers/ pageturners. I needed plots that pulled me onward, but they didn't have to be total crap.
For less pageturner plots, reading young adult books. They're usually faster paced and have clearer language.
posted by metasarah at 5:25 PM on March 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: As a school librarian, I used to be reluctant to talk about a huge down turn in my personal reading. The thing that fixed it for me was being a judge for a children's literature award. I was forced to read hundreds of books, and when I was done, I found myself reinvigorated about reading- and I have read so much in the year since I was a judge. I often tell my students that your brain is a muscle and you have to read in order to make it grow, and I learned that first hand. Keep a book with you at all times, and try and pick that up before your phone, and use audio books to supplement your reading. Another thing I think is helpful is to revisit authors you liked in the past. And as a librarian, I would be remiss in not suggesting a visit to the library, you can choose a bunch of books, and try and get yourself back on track- for free!
posted by momochan at 6:14 PM on March 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by momochan at 6:14 PM on March 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: "intellectually demanding, complex fiction" is also emotionally demanding, and sometimes when my life in general is unraveling, I can’t take the risk of being torn apart by a really good book.
And this is not a simple voluntary choice, either — when things are coming apart and I pick up a good book, my mind refuses to engage with it no matter how hard I push at it.
I see it as self-protective and ultimately a good thing, but there are a lot of wonderful books I’ve told myself I’ll reread before I die, and it is becoming ever clearer that I won’t.
posted by jamjam at 8:56 PM on March 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
And this is not a simple voluntary choice, either — when things are coming apart and I pick up a good book, my mind refuses to engage with it no matter how hard I push at it.
I see it as self-protective and ultimately a good thing, but there are a lot of wonderful books I’ve told myself I’ll reread before I die, and it is becoming ever clearer that I won’t.
posted by jamjam at 8:56 PM on March 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Stay off the internet and you should get your ability to concentrate and engage with things on a deeper level back in fairly short order.
posted by Jess the Mess at 10:01 PM on March 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Jess the Mess at 10:01 PM on March 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Some other ways to lower the threshold that sometimes work for me to get me started and pulled in:
- audiobooks
- for nonfiction: reading summaries first, identify what the most interesting bits are, and then going to the book to read about those
- just reading a sample of the kindle version
And I feel you, I’ve had times when it’s not just that I can only read fluff, but it has to be fluff I’ve already read.
posted by meijusa at 11:25 PM on March 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
- audiobooks
- for nonfiction: reading summaries first, identify what the most interesting bits are, and then going to the book to read about those
- just reading a sample of the kindle version
And I feel you, I’ve had times when it’s not just that I can only read fluff, but it has to be fluff I’ve already read.
posted by meijusa at 11:25 PM on March 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: When it comes to serious demanding literature there are two challenges for me.
I read a lot of demanding literature as an adolescent. Looking back part of that was enjoyment. But part of it was a drive to test my mettle. Show myself what I can do intellectually.
At this point in my life I have plenty of challenges in my job that test my mettle intellectually. So with the part of the drive gone it's mostly enjoyment that remains. So that means that literature that's only difficult and not enjoyable in any way I can't read any more. I'm able to but I can't will myself to.
To tackle that challenge I search for good literature that is sufficiently enjoyable. By reading that kind of book I'm building up positive associations again with literature.
The other challenge is concentration and exercise. So then it's all about taking away distractions and allowing for a bit of time for me to get into it again.
posted by jouke at 1:31 AM on March 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
I read a lot of demanding literature as an adolescent. Looking back part of that was enjoyment. But part of it was a drive to test my mettle. Show myself what I can do intellectually.
At this point in my life I have plenty of challenges in my job that test my mettle intellectually. So with the part of the drive gone it's mostly enjoyment that remains. So that means that literature that's only difficult and not enjoyable in any way I can't read any more. I'm able to but I can't will myself to.
To tackle that challenge I search for good literature that is sufficiently enjoyable. By reading that kind of book I'm building up positive associations again with literature.
The other challenge is concentration and exercise. So then it's all about taking away distractions and allowing for a bit of time for me to get into it again.
posted by jouke at 1:31 AM on March 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
Best answer: There is a lot to be said for reading short books. I used this as a way to rebuild my reading habit and topped 100 books last year (none of them very long). It's a lot easier to commit to something if it's less of a commitment — a 100 pages or so of experimental fiction, for instance is very doable. The numbers build up quickly and a sense of achievement can become self-propelling.
If you do have long and/or heavy books you want to read, short books can give you a break, without losing the flow, or feeling like you are bogged down. I have a couple of shelf feet of books on the history of the Holocaust and the rise of Nazi Germany. These are very heavy, naturally, but the subject matters also means they often need to be very rigorous, so they are often very long. Breaking them up like this makes working through them, over an extended period, I task I can face into.
The other thing is is to extend what you already enjoy, but perhaps step just outside of it. There are some very good writers that use the form of crime/spy novels to explore serious ideas. Patrick Modiano and Javier Marías being obvious examples. The former is a Noble prize winner, the latter was a serious contender.
The same can be true of books that sit more recognizably within the borders of genre. This is particularly true of writing in continental Europe in the decades after WWII when writers were conscious of the times they lived through and used their work to tackle this. Works like That Awful Mess on the Via Merulana, written after the war, bet set in the early days of Fascism in Italy, The Glass Pearls, Friedrich Dürrenmatt's Suspicion, which both tackle the continued presence of war criminals in everyday life after WWII, or perhaps the works of Jean-Patrick Manchette or The Moro Affair which tackle events in the latter decades.
I've taken to these for being short, eminently readable but still engaged. Regardless of subject matter the setting in them of the fairly recent past, a world that is almost familiar, but distant, and incongruent enough, means immersion requires just enough intellectual effort to be fully immersed to feel engaging, with out being tiring (the sames goes for many films of the same era) Any of these, or their equivalents, might form a useful set of stepping stones to get you where you want to go.
posted by tallus at 5:46 AM on March 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
If you do have long and/or heavy books you want to read, short books can give you a break, without losing the flow, or feeling like you are bogged down. I have a couple of shelf feet of books on the history of the Holocaust and the rise of Nazi Germany. These are very heavy, naturally, but the subject matters also means they often need to be very rigorous, so they are often very long. Breaking them up like this makes working through them, over an extended period, I task I can face into.
The other thing is is to extend what you already enjoy, but perhaps step just outside of it. There are some very good writers that use the form of crime/spy novels to explore serious ideas. Patrick Modiano and Javier Marías being obvious examples. The former is a Noble prize winner, the latter was a serious contender.
The same can be true of books that sit more recognizably within the borders of genre. This is particularly true of writing in continental Europe in the decades after WWII when writers were conscious of the times they lived through and used their work to tackle this. Works like That Awful Mess on the Via Merulana, written after the war, bet set in the early days of Fascism in Italy, The Glass Pearls, Friedrich Dürrenmatt's Suspicion, which both tackle the continued presence of war criminals in everyday life after WWII, or perhaps the works of Jean-Patrick Manchette or The Moro Affair which tackle events in the latter decades.
I've taken to these for being short, eminently readable but still engaged. Regardless of subject matter the setting in them of the fairly recent past, a world that is almost familiar, but distant, and incongruent enough, means immersion requires just enough intellectual effort to be fully immersed to feel engaging, with out being tiring (the sames goes for many films of the same era) Any of these, or their equivalents, might form a useful set of stepping stones to get you where you want to go.
posted by tallus at 5:46 AM on March 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
Another vote for audiobooks. I’ve never been a good reader, but audiobooks have opened up to me the possibility of ”reading” books, including some heavier ones I would never have had a chance with before (I’m looking at you, To Paradise. Thirty hours of audio and I think 700 pages in the paper version, including some grim dystopia that nearly turned me off it. But I made it through and afterwards had that lovely kind of “book hangover” where your brain still wants to return to the world of the book but you have no words left to offer it.)
posted by penguin pie at 6:40 AM on March 4, 2023
posted by penguin pie at 6:40 AM on March 4, 2023
Start with a book you loved in the past, and give it a re-read. For me, I can no longer tolerate tragic stories with miserable endings. So pick something happy or funny.
There's nothing wrong with reading to relax. Mysteries and romances are staples because they have satisfying endings. If they have a bit of humour, all the better. Jennifer Crusie is great for this if you want a rec. Also, Christopher Moore wrote The Love Lizard of Melancholy Cove, which is hilarious and sticks in my mind because I was so surprised.
Also, try Wierd Sisters by Terry Pratchett, for a crazy re-telling of Hamlet.
posted by Enid Lareg at 7:40 AM on March 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
There's nothing wrong with reading to relax. Mysteries and romances are staples because they have satisfying endings. If they have a bit of humour, all the better. Jennifer Crusie is great for this if you want a rec. Also, Christopher Moore wrote The Love Lizard of Melancholy Cove, which is hilarious and sticks in my mind because I was so surprised.
Also, try Wierd Sisters by Terry Pratchett, for a crazy re-telling of Hamlet.
posted by Enid Lareg at 7:40 AM on March 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: The one thing you need to enjoy reading a challenging book is patience - patience with the book, and patience with yourself. Sometimes you really just need to be in a certain frame of mind to get something out a book, and the best course of action is to put it back on the shelf and return to it at a more convenient time.
My mother, who is maybe the most voracious reader I know - our home has been wall to wall books since I can remember - had a year after getting her doctorate degree in which she could read nothing but Karl May. I like challenging books, but I've certainly had my Karl May years too (in my case tumblr, twitter and K-drama). Sometimes life circumstances are such that the mind gets overstrained, and then challenging books are really not what the doctor ordered for a good while.
Your life has been very stressful recently. Hopefully that stress will abate eventually. I bet you'll find your way back to challenging books then, but you need to give yourself enough time to get back into the groove. Pushing yourself too hard is the most likely cause for the resentment you're currently feeling, and it's what's nipping any potential enjoyment you might get from your reading in the bud.
Here are some things I do to get back into the groove after a Karl May phase:
I don't push myself at all. My goal is not to finish the book, but to approach it with an open mind, try to get out of it what I can, and read however many pages I decide to read without resenting the experience.
I allow myself to defer judgment. Sometimes, when a book is highly praised by people whose opinion I value, not getting the fuss can feel like a failure, some sort of deficiency in myself. I don't want to think this, but I also don't want to accuse these people of falling for a hype; I don't want to be that sort of person who dismisses anything they don't get as overrated. So I remind myself that neither has to be the case - maybe it's just bad timing, maybe the time for this book hasn't come yet in my life. And indeed, from experience I know that sometimes books that lingered on my shelves for years end up turning into favourites once I'm finally in the right mind for them.
I remind myself of the joy of reading challenging books by rereading challenging books I've enjoyed in the past. I'm not normally much of a rereader, because I usually crave novelty. I often think that I'm missing out because of this. You can get such a different experience, so much more profound insights from a book on a reread! (I once got out of a deep identity crisis by rereading Musil's The Man Without Qualities at the perfect moment.) Reading a challenging book is always a bit of risk, because there's always a chance that the emperor was naked after all, and then it's difficult not to feel resentful. The big advantage of a reread is that you already know this book will personally resonate with you - but you have changed since your last reading, so it will resonate in a different way, and it can be fascinating to consider this difference, what it says about the way in which you have changed.
Last but not least, I sometimes give myself an external incentive to read the book, not to force myself to finish, mind you, just as a bit of additional motivation to stick with it a little bit longer than I normally would. For this, I turn on my English-major brain and go to the meta-level. There were, after all many books I wouldn't have picked up if they hadn't been on the reading-list for some class or other, and while reading them might have often felt like a bit of a slog in the moment, I almost never regret the time I spent on these books, because I've found myself thinking about them quite a bit since then, and it turns out they really helped me understand something I didn't understand before. (Mansfield Park has maybe Austen's least compelling romance - unless you determine that the actual romance is with the house - but the older I get, the more it becomes my favourite Austen, because it's the one that comes back to my mind the most; when my charger craps out on a long train ride, and my phone deserts me, I can reliably entertain myself for hours, just thinking about Mansfield Park and what it says and doesn't say about Austen's attitude towards slavery, for instance).
Now, the true benefits of such reading often materialize quite late in the game, and it can be helpful to have some more tangible, immediate incentives in the interim, to tide you over the slog-part of the experience. In college it used to be the perspective of getting a good grade for that class. For many people it can be the idea of being able to discuss the book with their book club (and impress people with your keen analysis of the themes and implied world-view or bond with others over how tiresome you found the reading experience), but I have to admit that I'm not personally one for book clubs either. What I do is, that I sometimes give myself a little project connected with the book - eg. write about it on my tumblr, or write a Wikepedia article about it. Wikipedia can be really bad when it comes to books, especially books written by women, so I'm feeling like I'm doing humanity a service, and that makes my efforts feel worth it.
Of course writing a Wikipedia article means engaging with the challenging book even more deeply - it means I don't just read the book, I also read a lot of reviews, and a couple of scholarly articles about it, just as I would for a paper in college. It might seem a bit counter-intuitive to spend all that time on a book that I might have found a bit dull actually. But in college I learned that sometimes engaging more deeply actually makes the book less dull in retrospect.
Again, it's just a bit of extra-motivation though - if the book is too much of a slog, Wikipedia will have to do without me.
posted by sohalt at 9:22 AM on March 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
My mother, who is maybe the most voracious reader I know - our home has been wall to wall books since I can remember - had a year after getting her doctorate degree in which she could read nothing but Karl May. I like challenging books, but I've certainly had my Karl May years too (in my case tumblr, twitter and K-drama). Sometimes life circumstances are such that the mind gets overstrained, and then challenging books are really not what the doctor ordered for a good while.
Your life has been very stressful recently. Hopefully that stress will abate eventually. I bet you'll find your way back to challenging books then, but you need to give yourself enough time to get back into the groove. Pushing yourself too hard is the most likely cause for the resentment you're currently feeling, and it's what's nipping any potential enjoyment you might get from your reading in the bud.
Here are some things I do to get back into the groove after a Karl May phase:
I don't push myself at all. My goal is not to finish the book, but to approach it with an open mind, try to get out of it what I can, and read however many pages I decide to read without resenting the experience.
I allow myself to defer judgment. Sometimes, when a book is highly praised by people whose opinion I value, not getting the fuss can feel like a failure, some sort of deficiency in myself. I don't want to think this, but I also don't want to accuse these people of falling for a hype; I don't want to be that sort of person who dismisses anything they don't get as overrated. So I remind myself that neither has to be the case - maybe it's just bad timing, maybe the time for this book hasn't come yet in my life. And indeed, from experience I know that sometimes books that lingered on my shelves for years end up turning into favourites once I'm finally in the right mind for them.
I remind myself of the joy of reading challenging books by rereading challenging books I've enjoyed in the past. I'm not normally much of a rereader, because I usually crave novelty. I often think that I'm missing out because of this. You can get such a different experience, so much more profound insights from a book on a reread! (I once got out of a deep identity crisis by rereading Musil's The Man Without Qualities at the perfect moment.) Reading a challenging book is always a bit of risk, because there's always a chance that the emperor was naked after all, and then it's difficult not to feel resentful. The big advantage of a reread is that you already know this book will personally resonate with you - but you have changed since your last reading, so it will resonate in a different way, and it can be fascinating to consider this difference, what it says about the way in which you have changed.
Last but not least, I sometimes give myself an external incentive to read the book, not to force myself to finish, mind you, just as a bit of additional motivation to stick with it a little bit longer than I normally would. For this, I turn on my English-major brain and go to the meta-level. There were, after all many books I wouldn't have picked up if they hadn't been on the reading-list for some class or other, and while reading them might have often felt like a bit of a slog in the moment, I almost never regret the time I spent on these books, because I've found myself thinking about them quite a bit since then, and it turns out they really helped me understand something I didn't understand before. (Mansfield Park has maybe Austen's least compelling romance - unless you determine that the actual romance is with the house - but the older I get, the more it becomes my favourite Austen, because it's the one that comes back to my mind the most; when my charger craps out on a long train ride, and my phone deserts me, I can reliably entertain myself for hours, just thinking about Mansfield Park and what it says and doesn't say about Austen's attitude towards slavery, for instance).
Now, the true benefits of such reading often materialize quite late in the game, and it can be helpful to have some more tangible, immediate incentives in the interim, to tide you over the slog-part of the experience. In college it used to be the perspective of getting a good grade for that class. For many people it can be the idea of being able to discuss the book with their book club (and impress people with your keen analysis of the themes and implied world-view or bond with others over how tiresome you found the reading experience), but I have to admit that I'm not personally one for book clubs either. What I do is, that I sometimes give myself a little project connected with the book - eg. write about it on my tumblr, or write a Wikepedia article about it. Wikipedia can be really bad when it comes to books, especially books written by women, so I'm feeling like I'm doing humanity a service, and that makes my efforts feel worth it.
Of course writing a Wikipedia article means engaging with the challenging book even more deeply - it means I don't just read the book, I also read a lot of reviews, and a couple of scholarly articles about it, just as I would for a paper in college. It might seem a bit counter-intuitive to spend all that time on a book that I might have found a bit dull actually. But in college I learned that sometimes engaging more deeply actually makes the book less dull in retrospect.
Again, it's just a bit of extra-motivation though - if the book is too much of a slog, Wikipedia will have to do without me.
posted by sohalt at 9:22 AM on March 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
I hit the same wall in 2020. I laugh at myself because my Story Graph (a Goodreads alternative) pie chart it makes for the mood of books I read is consistently more than half reflective and emotional, with challenging, sad, and dark making up nearly another quarter of the pie chart. I read mostly literary fiction.
However, in 2020 and most of 2021, I struggled to read much at all - even though I need to it be able to get to sleep! - so I turned to more light, romance-y and mystery books to read something lighter, because clearly my psyche needed it.
I'm back to my mostly usual self these days, reading-wise, though it took a while of being soft on myself to get there. I always find that I'm more interested in literary fiction from underrepresented authors, particularly when I am also learning something about an area of the world and/or a period of time I don't know much about. I very much had to look in it for what brought me joy to get back into the tougher reading. Lots of the more experimental literary fiction just isn't going to come back for me and I try to limit how much of it I add to my TBR pile so I'm not guilting myself. I also let myself DNF a lot more now than I ever used to (which was practically never) because life is too short to read books you hate every second of.
posted by urbanlenny at 10:04 AM on March 4, 2023
However, in 2020 and most of 2021, I struggled to read much at all - even though I need to it be able to get to sleep! - so I turned to more light, romance-y and mystery books to read something lighter, because clearly my psyche needed it.
I'm back to my mostly usual self these days, reading-wise, though it took a while of being soft on myself to get there. I always find that I'm more interested in literary fiction from underrepresented authors, particularly when I am also learning something about an area of the world and/or a period of time I don't know much about. I very much had to look in it for what brought me joy to get back into the tougher reading. Lots of the more experimental literary fiction just isn't going to come back for me and I try to limit how much of it I add to my TBR pile so I'm not guilting myself. I also let myself DNF a lot more now than I ever used to (which was practically never) because life is too short to read books you hate every second of.
posted by urbanlenny at 10:04 AM on March 4, 2023
Seconding finding genre-leaning books that are more literary. Some of my favorites that might fit (leaning toward scifi/spec-fic/mystery): The Space Between Worlds (Micaiah Johnson); Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro); My Heartbeat (Garret Freymann-Weyr); Greenwood (Michael Christie); the works of Tana French and Emily St John Mandel.
posted by pjenks at 2:35 PM on March 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by pjenks at 2:35 PM on March 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
I just broke free from a similar slump. Here’s what worked for me. r/TrueLit has a list of 100 favorite books based on a reader poll:
https://preview.redd.it/2y3nqr7a5uaa1.png?width=1820&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=948dc59a6e03054ff2faa60b4118c3af8bb7746d
I added these books to GoodReads, sorted by length, and then started reading the shortest works that were new to me.
Reading first two (Pedro Paramo by Juan Rulfo and A Month in the Country by J.L. Carr) got me unstuck.
posted by lumpy at 5:45 AM on March 5, 2023
https://preview.redd.it/2y3nqr7a5uaa1.png?width=1820&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=948dc59a6e03054ff2faa60b4118c3af8bb7746d
I added these books to GoodReads, sorted by length, and then started reading the shortest works that were new to me.
Reading first two (Pedro Paramo by Juan Rulfo and A Month in the Country by J.L. Carr) got me unstuck.
posted by lumpy at 5:45 AM on March 5, 2023
I definitely read far fluffier books when I'm stressed. I'm usually content to know this (sometimes I use an impulse toward undemanding reading as an early warning indicator that I need to be gentler with myself). But here are some things that work for me when I'm stressed but also bored with my recent escapist fare:
posted by yarntheory at 5:17 PM on March 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
- I read popular novels that aren't modern ones--I had a Silver Age mysteries phase, a Stella Gibbons phase, a Trollope phase, etc.
- I read unfamiliar genres (most recently, spy novels).
- I read nonfiction. Nonfiction typically has greater emotional distance, and you can dip in and out of a nonfiction book and still come away feeling like you've learned something.
- I re-read old favorites and think about how my response to them has changed.
posted by yarntheory at 5:17 PM on March 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you for all the helpful answers! Jouke's comment about testing one's mettle as an adolescent with difficult literature really resonated in particular. Of course now that my mettle has been tested in many other ways, I don't really need literature to do that as well! I best-answered the ones that spoke to me the loudest, but all your comments were extremely helpful.
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:08 AM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:08 AM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
I remember your other posts, so forgive me for a little cross-pollination here. Personally, I could not manage serious books (or serious anything) when I was helping to care for a seriously ill parent. Cheesy comedy shows and breezy airport books were about all I could manage. Cognitive recovery's been slow for me since, I'll be honest. I don't know that it would have been better or faster to try to fix it, but I haven't; I just went with it.
I hear you when you say this challenges your sense of self. The whole experience did that to me, personally, I don't know about you. All the strain of the postpartum period with only a fraction of the joy.
The Guardian just ran a story about how caring for someone with cognitive decline can also alter the care giver that I thought was interesting. You carry a big load as a caregiver so be sure and give yourself sufficient slack.
Dinner with Proust: how Alzheimer’s caregivers are pulled into their patients’ worlds
posted by srboisvert at 2:40 PM on March 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
I hear you when you say this challenges your sense of self. The whole experience did that to me, personally, I don't know about you. All the strain of the postpartum period with only a fraction of the joy.
The Guardian just ran a story about how caring for someone with cognitive decline can also alter the care giver that I thought was interesting. You carry a big load as a caregiver so be sure and give yourself sufficient slack.
Dinner with Proust: how Alzheimer’s caregivers are pulled into their patients’ worlds
Although we expect irrational behaviour and lapses of judgment from Alzheimer’s patients, we’re often puzzled by the baffling behaviour of caregivers themselves, many of whom mirror the denial, resistance, distortions, irrationality and cognitive lapses of the people they’re caring for. Carers, despite recognising that their charges are ill, find themselves behaving in ways they know are counterproductive: arguing, blaming, insisting on reality, and taking symptoms personally. Because caregivers are “healthy”, we assume they should be reasonable, which is what makes their inability to adapt to the disease feel like a personal shortcoming.But to the ask my recommended trick is to schedule the hard things. The previously recommended context change of a bar or just a different chair is a good way to enforce and reinforce the scheduled focus.
Traditionally, neurological case studies have focused on the “abnormal” brain and its effects on the patient. But what about the people closest to the patient? Might not their reactions, their struggles, their own disorientation in the face of neurological illness also illuminate the workings of the human mind? The “normal” mind, after all, is never just a blank slate, even at birth. Our brain, as it happens, is “ultra social”, riddled with instincts, drives, needs and intuitions, which dictate our unconscious expectations of others. It is these cognitive proclivities that get in the way of understanding and dealing with dementia.
posted by srboisvert at 2:40 PM on March 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
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