How to feel less isolated while isolating for a long time?

July 31, 2022 10:04 AM

On my doctor's orders, I am isolating at home alone to avoid catching COVID while my city has a massive COVID surge. I'd like ideas on: a) how to feel less isolated while isolating; and b) how to feel less bored while isolating.

My country is currently going through a massive COVID surge (we're currently third in the world for per-person COVID cases and also third in the world for per-person COVID deaths).

My Dr has made it clear that due to my (very serious) preexisting physical health issues, I absolutely cannot afford to catch COVID.

As a result, I've been isolating at home alone for over a month, including not seeing my partner for over a month. Based on current COVID case number modelling, its looking as though it won't be safe for me to see people in person until at least November 2022.

I'd like ideas on:
a) how to feel less isolated while isolating
b) how to feel less bored while isolating.

Currently I:
phone my partner every night;
watch streaming TV and films;
play computer games;
read graphic novels;
call friends on the phone;
play with my two cats;
read fan fiction;
spend time on Twitter and Facebook;
read Miss Manners and other advice columns.

posted by carriage pulled by cassowaries to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (18 answers total)

Play games online with other people (Scrabble and such).
Have “watch parties” with friends, maybe also Zoom dinner parties? Cook together via Zoom, try new recipes and laugh about it if they fail.
Write letters!
Re bored, learn a new language / other skill / watch lectures etc. Teach yourself sth physical (juggling, an instrument, knitting…).
Reorganise and declutter your apartment / house.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 10:14 AM on July 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

We have been getting together with friends via zoom/discord - sometimes we play Jackbox games, sometimes we watch a movie together via "watch party" apps, sometimes we just talk. I've also had some fun "stitch and bitch" sessions - everyone gets on zoom and works on whatever craft they do. When I haven't been feeling inspired I just cleaned my desk - it was really effective as body doubling and I'm considering doing some similar sessions specifically for body doubling so I can get some tedious moving-related tasks done.

Youtube has zillions of movement type videos for everything from physical therapy/feldenkrais mobility exercises and yoga to "walking" exercises to dance or calisthenics or resistance band work. Find something that you find suitable in effort level and whatever you've got to work with for floor space.

Definitely clean out your closets and kitchen. Like I said above, I'm about to move, out of a house filled with shit I haven't touched in years. Put on an audiobook or interesting podcast and start sorting, or drag out boxes/drawers of misc stuff and sit in front of a movie or series binge-watch while you sort it - you'd be surprised how much you can get done in just 2 hours of TV time. If you can order a small set of moving boxes or storage bins, make a give-away pile even if it has to sit a while before you can give any away (or sell if applicable).
posted by Lyn Never at 10:24 AM on July 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Don't underestimate the importance of seeing faces. My niece and I have never lived more than 10 minutes away from each other. Our phone calls are often to arrange getting together (so VERY brief), or maybe 15 minutes or so of catch up. But early in 2020 we had a Messenger video call, and talked and hung out for more than an hour, I think. I'm getting weepy as I type this just thinking of the joy that call brought me. See the faces you love. And hang in there.
posted by kate4914 at 10:52 AM on July 31, 2022

This is going to sound dumb. I get it. It kind of is, but letting it just be what it is is why it's so great.

Are you ready? Are you sure?

You have to really be open to trying something new. Oh, and I promise, it's not about being "in front" of people -- it's really about being in a group and enjoying being in the group you're in.

OK, now are you really ready? OK.

> https://classes.ioimprov.com/home

Online improv. So dumb it's actually really nice.
posted by amtho at 10:57 AM on July 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

Is it possible for you to get outdoors at all? If so, a walk or ride or roll in a park or forest or open space can be restorative. Wear a mask, avoid peak times, go when it's raining or at dinner time when everybody else is indoors.
posted by lulu68 at 12:36 PM on July 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

Reading stories to someone else, or being read to, is so much better for my happiness and sanity than reading alone (which is already pretty good for my happiness and sanity).

I also like just... keeping zoom on in the background with a friend, and maybe interacting or maybe not. Somehow just knowing someone is there is a nice boost.
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:58 PM on July 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Do you enjoy board games? You and your partner (and/or friends) might try
Table Top Simulator. It has a library of board games where the pieces, cards, and boards have been virtualized, so they can be played online.

Also agree with others’ suggestions of having Zoom time with friends. Having a scheduled “happy hour” once or twice a week can give something to look forward to that helps break up the time. You can also try just scheduling more things (even if it’s just “Breakfast a 7am, Lunch at 1pm, Dinner at 6pm, TV at 7pm”) for this very reason; structuring your day can help it drag less.

If you just have too much free time, maybe set yourself a mission, like learning to read a foreign language (reading a new language can come faster than speaking it)? There are free apps such as Duolingo that can get you up and running. If you don’t want to learn a language, try to find something (hobby/creative work) you can get into a flow state with. You could try online courses to learn just about anything.

I did all these things during 2020 lockdown and they helped.
posted by disentir at 1:09 PM on July 31, 2022

Whoops, I just checked in on Duolingo and wow… lots of ads. So, er… still free but yeah, you’re not going to get an uninterrupted learning experience there. Sorry!
posted by disentir at 1:39 PM on July 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Are there any online communities you are in that use Discord? Do you support anyone on Patreon, some creators have Discord servers set up. It’s a really nice low effort way to chat (type) to people, and because you share a community you have a starting point in common.
posted by ellieBOA at 3:33 PM on July 31, 2022

Check out the “Still COVIDing, High Risk or similarly careful edition” fb group. Lots of solidarity there and some good group chats and discord servers. It’s really nice to not feel so isolated in taking precautions.
posted by Bottlecap at 4:13 PM on July 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Can you take a class? Both Harvard and NYU's adult education divisions are still offering at least some online classes. It's not as good for meeting people as in-person classes, but at least it also gives you something to do in the off-hours.

Watch parties can definitely be fun. If you don't have access to any of the newfangled options, you can just sync the media manually and chat over Google Chat or whatever.

On the watching front, if you can find a long-format Let's Play where you like both the game and the players, that will give you hours of entertainment and at least mildly social background sound. I think I've watched five different playthroughs of Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc.

Sort through your electronic files. Label pictures (this goes for physical ones, too!).
posted by praemunire at 5:13 PM on July 31, 2022

This (locally) popular book club went online and still is.
posted by hotcoroner at 5:26 PM on July 31, 2022

Are you working? If not, I would probably start some kind of project to keep your mind occupied. Endless leisure is tricky to maintain an enthusiasm for even without the isolated, at home part. Additionally - how much space are you taking up here? If it is just a bedroom I would think seriously about asking your partner to leave the house for extended periods to give you more room to roam. I'd also try to find times to be outside in some capacity.
posted by jojobobo at 12:51 AM on August 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

I like the suggestions to practice a language online, but if you have time, think about going the other way and offering either lessons or language exchange sessions online to people trying to learn the languages you know. You might be able to find a way to do this for money, but you can also just offer your services as a volunteer. It's interesting, it gets you involved in other people's lives, it gives you some regularly scheduled interaction, and it lets you potentially make a real difference for some students.

You could also try volunteer tutoring in general for any other skills you have that you can teach online. Lots of people who need tutoring can't afford it, so volunteer tutors do really valuable work.
posted by trig at 1:45 AM on August 1, 2022

I was thinking about you while I was on my sunset watching roll through the neighborhood last night. I have been in this level of lockdown since 2020. It’s extraordinarily difficult. One of the things that has helped me is to become less isolated from the natural world around me. I live in the middle of a city, and use a wheelchair so don’t get me wrong, there’s no hiking! But just appreciating the clouds and the way they change, stopping to closely inspect a flower growing out of the sidewalk, getting familiar with the local birds (even putting out a feeder if you can!) and watching ants work. All the little things that are very much alive and going about their lives. It gives me a richer inner world to feel less alone in, and observation of things that are both unpredictable and known at the same time is rewarding. Detaching from the idea that I need to be in contact with other human beings to feel connection has helped. It also helps me not have so much FOMO. On one level it’s nice to hear about what other people are doing and up to. But it’s also exhausting to listen and know that’s not on the table for me. There’s great peace in giving myself a couple days break from having to hear about the outside world that’s rushing along without me.
posted by Bottlecap at 12:20 PM on August 1, 2022 [2 favorites]

I’m sorry that you have to do this! I can imagine how painful and disappointing it is, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts.

Something I did during the first lockdown was set challenges for myself. Things like, “listen to all of the albums by x artist” or “read this whole series” or “cross stitch a piece of this size”. I’m a goal-oriented person and having a sense of purpose is very motivating for me. It also helped me remain connected to the sense of time progressing, rather than getting stuck in the groundhog-day-it’s-the-same-day-all-over-again-loop. It’ll also give you something you to talk to your friends about and you could possibly find online groups that are also participating in challenges.

If you’re comfortable going outside, I’d definitely say taking long walks. I’ve found that walks clear my mind when I’m feeling especially lonely, especially if I intentionally try to pay attention to and absorb my surroundings. A good time might be very early in the morning (like 6-7am) when basically no one else will be out - less risky and also very peaceful.

Finally, are you able to get a pet? That might help with companionship too.
posted by cruel summer at 5:28 PM on August 1, 2022

I live alone, and I find podcasts helpful for keeping me from spiraling around in my own thoughts too much. Even if you're not an audio book or radio person, you might like podcasts for this purpose. There are many, many podcasts that consist of a couple friends having a low stakes, natural conversation; these are great background noise. You might have to explore a bit to find personalities you like. You could start by searching for shows about topics that interest you and branch out from there. The movie recap genre tends to be good for background chatter.
posted by Comet Bug at 8:20 PM on August 2, 2022

You need to structure your day so you don't go nuts. That's what I learned during the initial quarantine. Wake up at around the same time every day, have a schedule of things you have to get done and things you enjoy and can look forward to, set for specific days or times. Maybe Thursday is pizza night, so you know you can always look forward to a contactless pizza delivery on Thursdays. Maybe Monday is deep clean your apartment day, so you know you have to get that done every Monday. Have standing social events with loved ones, just like you would in person. Take an online class, or have some educational activity you do at the same time every day or week.

The other thing I see missing from your list is physical exercise. Even if your medical condition gives you limitations, you need to be doing something to move your body in order to avoid negative effects, both physical and mental. Ask your doctor for a referral for remote PT if you're not sure what you can do safely or want to learn new exercises. But if your medical condition doesn't majorly limit you, think about what you enjoy. Do you like yoga, cycling, weight lifting, etc? Can you go outside if you're not around any other people, and walk or run on a deserted street or trail? A lot of people bought home exercise equipment and are now selling it for cheap because they've abandoned Covid precautions. My sister just bought a Peloton bike, which usually costs something like $1500, for $500. Figure out what you can do to get as much physical exercise as you're able to manage, and make that part of your schedule too. I was really resistant to lifting weights in my 400 square foot studio apartment at first, but it both cured my chronic mild lower back pain, and helped me sleep through the night when I wasn't doing much else to tire myself out.

I'm so sorry our society is terrible like this. Hope you're hanging in there!
posted by decathecting at 5:12 PM on August 7, 2022