I'm isolating at home with covid. What should I do for my birthday?
January 26, 2022 8:35 PM Subscribe
This is not a "give me permission to leave the house/see people" question. I just want to feel less bummed/worried about long-term outcomes! What can I do to feel more festive? My birthday is in a few days. I'll still be isolating, almost definitely still sick.
I am... quite sick? and on outpatient medication, but imminent hospitalization isn't looking likely, though I have a bag packed. I'm very tired and trying to focus on rest- not looking for an at-home dance party. I don't have the focus for a movie marathon or celebratory rereading of Proust. Tiktok is my jam right now.
I'm not comfortable accepting physical deliveries of anything yet as I'm in an apartment block with a number of medically vulnerable residents. Omicron is everywhere where I am, but I've taped off the vents in my apartment and am just airing the apartment through the window. I'm trying not to leave the apartment for any reason until my viral load is lower. So! I have what I have (good wifi and enough food). It's just me here.
What would you do? I'm bearing up fine with the covid but for some reason the thought of having covid on my *birthday* is making me super sad, despite being a fully grown adult. I will definitely check in with my long-distance/internet friends.
I am... quite sick? and on outpatient medication, but imminent hospitalization isn't looking likely, though I have a bag packed. I'm very tired and trying to focus on rest- not looking for an at-home dance party. I don't have the focus for a movie marathon or celebratory rereading of Proust. Tiktok is my jam right now.
I'm not comfortable accepting physical deliveries of anything yet as I'm in an apartment block with a number of medically vulnerable residents. Omicron is everywhere where I am, but I've taped off the vents in my apartment and am just airing the apartment through the window. I'm trying not to leave the apartment for any reason until my viral load is lower. So! I have what I have (good wifi and enough food). It's just me here.
What would you do? I'm bearing up fine with the covid but for some reason the thought of having covid on my *birthday* is making me super sad, despite being a fully grown adult. I will definitely check in with my long-distance/internet friends.
Best answer: Ack, sorry to hear about it. Some notes from a pre-COVID health conditions-related shut-in...
One thing you can do is list all the things you can't do, and then find ways to...kind of,...do each of them. It can be pretty funny. You never know. Obviously I don't mean violate health protocol, but things like exercise, sometimes you can just have a good stretching session at the top of one of the activity waves and see how it goes; bit on that wave thing below.
Usually the ability to get up and move around, or even to be productive comes in waves. Other things that change in waves include mood levels, tiredness, and even interesting activities. It can be pretty fascinating to see if you can measure and maybe even graph the wave activity. It can even feel powerful to out-analyze the illness in that way. Measurement yields control, like the control to be able to say, "I'm barfing now, or soon, but in 45 minutes there's a good chance I'll be able to clean up my room if I want to." If this sounds extreme please ignore... But after the entertainment effect started to tail off, a lot of us found that we needed activity variety and that's a very good way to know it's coming.
Birthday ideas...Look at photos of places you've enjoyed traveling to in your past; find them on Google maps and read reviews. Or view them on street view. Or schedule a birthday season for yourself that is long enough to probably allow you to get birthday things done during your birthday season, and maybe look forward to the whole seasonal thing in the future too.
Finally if you take supplements or enjoy learning about your health, I'll just share that some people find things like caffeinated drinks or other supplements help them come up and out faster. I have a friend with autoimmune who has had the craziest illnesses, and they say that this is one of their tricks, plenty of tea and some caffeine which surprised me. But this gets into medical stuff, and please don't blindly trust it from strangers.
There are lots of little tricks depending on what your mood brings you, but those are some general ones for starters. Feel better soon and hang in there...
posted by circular at 9:00 PM on January 26, 2022 [2 favorites]
One thing you can do is list all the things you can't do, and then find ways to...kind of,...do each of them. It can be pretty funny. You never know. Obviously I don't mean violate health protocol, but things like exercise, sometimes you can just have a good stretching session at the top of one of the activity waves and see how it goes; bit on that wave thing below.
Usually the ability to get up and move around, or even to be productive comes in waves. Other things that change in waves include mood levels, tiredness, and even interesting activities. It can be pretty fascinating to see if you can measure and maybe even graph the wave activity. It can even feel powerful to out-analyze the illness in that way. Measurement yields control, like the control to be able to say, "I'm barfing now, or soon, but in 45 minutes there's a good chance I'll be able to clean up my room if I want to." If this sounds extreme please ignore... But after the entertainment effect started to tail off, a lot of us found that we needed activity variety and that's a very good way to know it's coming.
Birthday ideas...Look at photos of places you've enjoyed traveling to in your past; find them on Google maps and read reviews. Or view them on street view. Or schedule a birthday season for yourself that is long enough to probably allow you to get birthday things done during your birthday season, and maybe look forward to the whole seasonal thing in the future too.
Finally if you take supplements or enjoy learning about your health, I'll just share that some people find things like caffeinated drinks or other supplements help them come up and out faster. I have a friend with autoimmune who has had the craziest illnesses, and they say that this is one of their tricks, plenty of tea and some caffeine which surprised me. But this gets into medical stuff, and please don't blindly trust it from strangers.
There are lots of little tricks depending on what your mood brings you, but those are some general ones for starters. Feel better soon and hang in there...
posted by circular at 9:00 PM on January 26, 2022 [2 favorites]
Drugs? I mean, I don’t know what’s legal where you are, nor makes sense in your personal pharmaceutical environment, but a bit of CBD/CBN can do wonders.
posted by aramaic at 9:48 PM on January 26, 2022
posted by aramaic at 9:48 PM on January 26, 2022
Podcasts are my zero-effort escape medium. Put on something that intrigues you, snuggle up on the couch with blankets, close your eyes and just let your ears do the work as you work your way thru a podcasts’s back catalog. If you fall asleep, oh well. An amazingly relaxing self-care day for me would be to do this all afternoon.
I also like to daydream about how I would spend a huge lottery win. Giving myself permission to think of “selfish” things like that is another great present to myself.
posted by cgg at 10:06 PM on January 26, 2022 [2 favorites]
I also like to daydream about how I would spend a huge lottery win. Giving myself permission to think of “selfish” things like that is another great present to myself.
posted by cgg at 10:06 PM on January 26, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: It's not a birthday without cake- could you do a simple mug cake? https://tasty.co/compilation/3-minute-mug-cakes-4-ways - you probably have the ingredients at hand or reasonable substitutes.
posted by freethefeet at 1:07 AM on January 27, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by freethefeet at 1:07 AM on January 27, 2022 [6 favorites]
A few times when I've been alone on holidays or birthdays, the most comforting thing I've done is just ignore it. Make it a regular day and try not to think about it. Know that you can celebrate with people some other time on some other occasion. Celebrating with other people is what makes it fun and festive to me. Baking a cake and blowing out candles or doing other celebratory things alone would be so much more hollow and depressing to me than doing nothing. Just get through this time and look forward to happy times in the future!
posted by starfishprime at 1:17 AM on January 27, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by starfishprime at 1:17 AM on January 27, 2022 [4 favorites]
Echoing starfishprime. I have always been happy to postpone birthday celebrations if sick or really busy, then choosing a time when I can throw myself into it fully. I really think the one special day a year that is all about me should take place when it's most convenient to me, which might not be when the calendar says so.
posted by guessthis at 4:03 AM on January 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by guessthis at 4:03 AM on January 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
Agreeing with starfishprime: just sleep right through it.
posted by mskyle at 4:54 AM on January 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by mskyle at 4:54 AM on January 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm tossing in my vote for "celebrate later."
My birthday is in March. In March 2020, when everything I wanted to do for my birthday closed, I postponed celebrating until my half birthday. My half birthday ended up being gorgeous weather-wise, so I spent most of the day in my backyard in the hammock. It was lovely.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 5:13 AM on January 27, 2022 [5 favorites]
My birthday is in March. In March 2020, when everything I wanted to do for my birthday closed, I postponed celebrating until my half birthday. My half birthday ended up being gorgeous weather-wise, so I spent most of the day in my backyard in the hammock. It was lovely.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 5:13 AM on January 27, 2022 [5 favorites]
I would definitely decorate with whatever materials you have on hand. Let your inner child out and make something to hang on your fridge.
Check out TikToks for making paper chains. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdhPUcVX/ or https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdhPragV/
posted by MadMadam at 6:10 AM on January 27, 2022
Check out TikToks for making paper chains. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdhPUcVX/ or https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdhPragV/
posted by MadMadam at 6:10 AM on January 27, 2022
I recently got a notice about a 50% discount on any order from a restaurant I like, in honor of my birthday. It was not actually my birthday -- I'd put in a random date when I joined the restaurant's membership program for the occasional discount they offer. It still felt weirdly special, somehow! I was surprised by how nice it felt to order some fancier dishes than I would have otherwise -- it had some of that birthday feeling, despite how random it was.
Which is all to say that if you plan something special to look forward to on some later date, you might be surprised by how nice it ends up being.
Hope you feel better soon!
posted by trig at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
Which is all to say that if you plan something special to look forward to on some later date, you might be surprised by how nice it ends up being.
Hope you feel better soon!
posted by trig at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: On my birthday 2020 I made a reverse birthday cake. I made my favorite cake, and then spent hours driving, safely delivering one piece each to everyone who would normally celebrate with me. Can you send reverse birthday cards or letters or postcards to your friends and loved ones? If you don't have stamps or envelopes or whatever I will send you some if you want to memail your address. Heck I would love to send you a birthday postcard anyway. I hope you feel better soon!
posted by fritley at 7:38 AM on January 27, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by fritley at 7:38 AM on January 27, 2022 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Birthday raincheck, definitely. You don’t have to have a nothing day, but just giving yourself permission to have your birthday in a few weeks or some time that makes sense for you can do a lot to lift pressure off of yourself in the short term, so the day can be nicer and less lonely.
Audiobooks are one of my favorite things for when I’m too unwell to focus on movies but need something more than mindlessly scrolling online. It’s nice also that it’s a person reading to me, which does sort of fill the space more than music can in terms of feeling isolated. To make it special you could listen while engaging in some pampering, like maybe fancy body lotion, or taking a bath with some lavender oil, or buffing your nails. If you have curly hair you could do finger coils and some deep conditioning. Just something that you wouldn’t normally do that is taking care of your body in some way, since it could probably use all the care it can get right now.
If you have the ingredients and energy for it, breakfast for dinner can feel pretty special in a childhood indulgence way. Pancakes or waffles, berries, bacon, maple syrup, fried eggs… oh hey I’m hungry. Anyway the point is, food that is a little away from the norm while still being attainable with what you have is a great way to feel special without investing too much into it. Of course, if your sense of smell is shot, it’s probably not worth the effort. In which case again, planning for that raincheck birthday is the way to go.
Truthfully if I were in your shoes I would find a video game to get sucked into and just play it all day long. When else can you justify a gaming marathon than being alone and sick on your birthday?
posted by Mizu at 8:28 AM on January 27, 2022
Audiobooks are one of my favorite things for when I’m too unwell to focus on movies but need something more than mindlessly scrolling online. It’s nice also that it’s a person reading to me, which does sort of fill the space more than music can in terms of feeling isolated. To make it special you could listen while engaging in some pampering, like maybe fancy body lotion, or taking a bath with some lavender oil, or buffing your nails. If you have curly hair you could do finger coils and some deep conditioning. Just something that you wouldn’t normally do that is taking care of your body in some way, since it could probably use all the care it can get right now.
If you have the ingredients and energy for it, breakfast for dinner can feel pretty special in a childhood indulgence way. Pancakes or waffles, berries, bacon, maple syrup, fried eggs… oh hey I’m hungry. Anyway the point is, food that is a little away from the norm while still being attainable with what you have is a great way to feel special without investing too much into it. Of course, if your sense of smell is shot, it’s probably not worth the effort. In which case again, planning for that raincheck birthday is the way to go.
Truthfully if I were in your shoes I would find a video game to get sucked into and just play it all day long. When else can you justify a gaming marathon than being alone and sick on your birthday?
posted by Mizu at 8:28 AM on January 27, 2022
If you're up to it, could you schedule a group viewing of a new movie? There are different types but basically a movie streaming party with friends each at their place. I don't normally rent movies, but paying for a new release would be a nice treat too. And you can order fun snacks too!
Whatever you choose to do, hope you have a happy birthday! And get well soon!
posted by jraz at 9:45 AM on January 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
Whatever you choose to do, hope you have a happy birthday! And get well soon!
posted by jraz at 9:45 AM on January 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
You could ask any nearby friends to deliver cake, ice cream, the takeout food of your choice, etc., if that feels safe.
On social media, ask your friends to send links to the very best tiktoks.
Ask friends for a referral for a good housekeeper with vax certs. Have them come change the bed, clean the bedroom and bathroom. I think you won't feel this is safe enough, but save it up for when you feel stronger; something to anticipate.
Maybe some new pajamas.
I'm so sorry you're ill.
posted by theora55 at 10:25 AM on January 27, 2022
On social media, ask your friends to send links to the very best tiktoks.
Ask friends for a referral for a good housekeeper with vax certs. Have them come change the bed, clean the bedroom and bathroom. I think you won't feel this is safe enough, but save it up for when you feel stronger; something to anticipate.
Maybe some new pajamas.
I'm so sorry you're ill.
posted by theora55 at 10:25 AM on January 27, 2022
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I would see if maybe a friend could join you via video call for something that doesn't take more energy than you have. Perhaps a movie viewing?
posted by bluedaisy at 10:29 AM on January 27, 2022
posted by bluedaisy at 10:29 AM on January 27, 2022
I get how a movie marathons would be too much, but if you're up for one movie you could do an synched online watch party with a few friends (just saw that jrax also mentioned that).
For a small dose of happy, You could send yourself (or have someone send you) a birthday Cameo from someone you think is cool.
posted by Mchelly at 11:01 AM on January 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
For a small dose of happy, You could send yourself (or have someone send you) a birthday Cameo from someone you think is cool.
posted by Mchelly at 11:01 AM on January 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
My favorite low-energy way to celebrate my birthday is to journal! I either freeform reflect on my past year/upcoming year/values, or I look online for a set of questions that seems like it’ll be fun to dig into. I’ve found that this makes my brain feel stretched and makes me feel more alive, in a way. It’s very satisfying.
posted by chaiyai at 2:00 PM on January 27, 2022
posted by chaiyai at 2:00 PM on January 27, 2022
Do you like gaming at all? Not hardcore gaming, but just little low stress games?
You could give yourself that day to just decompress and download fun apps on your phone - there's coloring apps, drawing apps, gaming apps, etc. My favorite Low Stress 'I can't think' game is Candy Crush, on Zen Mode.
There's controversy around Spotify lately, but when I was recovering from surgery? I gave myself a paid Spotify subscription, and it was by far one of the best things I could have done. Just having the freedom to listen to whatever, as many times as you want, without restrictions or ads just relieved a lot of stress. I could put on a random podcast about a low-stress topic that I enjoyed, like cats for example, and just zone in and out while listening to it.
posted by spinifex23 at 2:10 PM on January 27, 2022
You could give yourself that day to just decompress and download fun apps on your phone - there's coloring apps, drawing apps, gaming apps, etc. My favorite Low Stress 'I can't think' game is Candy Crush, on Zen Mode.
There's controversy around Spotify lately, but when I was recovering from surgery? I gave myself a paid Spotify subscription, and it was by far one of the best things I could have done. Just having the freedom to listen to whatever, as many times as you want, without restrictions or ads just relieved a lot of stress. I could put on a random podcast about a low-stress topic that I enjoyed, like cats for example, and just zone in and out while listening to it.
posted by spinifex23 at 2:10 PM on January 27, 2022
Best answer: This was my husband and me several weeks ago :(
Mild COVID-19, no senses of taste or smell, the Robitussin DM tamed the cough but it was several days of mild fatigue and poor concentration. The sweet SO still has a chronic cough.
On our 41st wedding anniversary. Yuck.
So, this is what worked--
Plenty of water, warm drinks, warm soft foods (potatoes, rice, soups, stews), ice cream. Comfort foods.
Nope, couldn't taste anything but salt and temperature, but we made it pretty.
Add sprinkles to the cold bananas and chocolate sauce. Add colorful veggies to the stew. Eat tiny helpings (diminished appetite) and save the rest for later.
Take a hot shower. Breathe in the steam. Sit on a towel with another around your shoulders and relax. Or put a chair in the bathroom and take your time. Keep facial tissue or handkerchiefs nearby.
Use the best towels, soft lighting, maybe some music. If you can't smell the shampoo, enjoy the bubbles.
I couldn't crochet, couldn't get through 30 minutes of a game show, or bother to fire up the laptop.
I read a chapter from my favorite novels, watched parts of old DVDs, listened to good tunes. I enjoyed bird watching videos on YouTube on my cell phone.
Mostly I dozed off and chilled out.
Snuggling while coughing doesn't work.
Putting a warm crochet blanket around someone and letting them relax does.
This, too, will pass. Be good to yourself. Stay warm, stay hydrated, and watch some nature videos.
posted by TrishaU at 2:21 PM on January 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
Mild COVID-19, no senses of taste or smell, the Robitussin DM tamed the cough but it was several days of mild fatigue and poor concentration. The sweet SO still has a chronic cough.
On our 41st wedding anniversary. Yuck.
So, this is what worked--
Plenty of water, warm drinks, warm soft foods (potatoes, rice, soups, stews), ice cream. Comfort foods.
Nope, couldn't taste anything but salt and temperature, but we made it pretty.
Add sprinkles to the cold bananas and chocolate sauce. Add colorful veggies to the stew. Eat tiny helpings (diminished appetite) and save the rest for later.
Take a hot shower. Breathe in the steam. Sit on a towel with another around your shoulders and relax. Or put a chair in the bathroom and take your time. Keep facial tissue or handkerchiefs nearby.
Use the best towels, soft lighting, maybe some music. If you can't smell the shampoo, enjoy the bubbles.
I couldn't crochet, couldn't get through 30 minutes of a game show, or bother to fire up the laptop.
I read a chapter from my favorite novels, watched parts of old DVDs, listened to good tunes. I enjoyed bird watching videos on YouTube on my cell phone.
Mostly I dozed off and chilled out.
Snuggling while coughing doesn't work.
Putting a warm crochet blanket around someone and letting them relax does.
This, too, will pass. Be good to yourself. Stay warm, stay hydrated, and watch some nature videos.
posted by TrishaU at 2:21 PM on January 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you all- all of the suggestions were brilliant, I picked out some that appealed to me particularly. Just hearing all your kind and cheery thoughts cheered me up a lot.
TrishaU, I'm sorry you and your husband went through that- I hope he gets better soon.
Happy birthday to everyone, in their turn!
posted by pickingupsticks at 3:04 AM on January 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
TrishaU, I'm sorry you and your husband went through that- I hope he gets better soon.
Happy birthday to everyone, in their turn!
posted by pickingupsticks at 3:04 AM on January 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
I had covid through new years and my birthday plus im a nurse so I got daily updates about what I wasn’t there to help with from the hospital and…I said fuck it all and slept. I ended up being out over 2 weeks because I was so short of breath. I didn’t make myself cake or anything, I was too tired. And hacking. And couldn’t smell. What I did do was set up a beverage station, have all meds close by, cookies (I couldn’t taste much but I could still taste sugar), piles of blankets, pillows tissues and pugs and played stardew valley on my switch between naps and crying. It was fine. I’m fine now. (I did end up on steroids and got IV antibodies). Covid sucks, it’s ruined a lot of my life these past few years, letting myself just nest and stop trying to be brave/work around it was totally what I needed. Happy birthday!
posted by yodelingisfun at 8:18 AM on January 30, 2022
posted by yodelingisfun at 8:18 AM on January 30, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
Can you spend your awake time planning the fun things you will do as you get well? Would it help to pick a date to aim for as your Replacement 2022 Birthday? The first warm day of Spring, it would be for me.
posted by clew at 8:49 PM on January 26, 2022 [4 favorites]