Don’t Lie To Me
October 13, 2021 5:12 PM   Subscribe

What are some phrases with the same meaning as “don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining”?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero to Writing & Language (28 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Don't blow smoke up my ass.
posted by adamrice at 5:18 PM on October 13 [2 favorites]

non piscentum contra ventum
(don't piss into the wind)
posted by ydaltak at 5:20 PM on October 13

Don’t shit in my mouth and call it a sundae.
posted by aspersioncast at 5:22 PM on October 13 [2 favorites]

Don't piss in my mouth and tell me it's Champagne
posted by pullayup at 5:28 PM on October 13 [1 favorite]

Don't yank my chain/Don't pull my chain
posted by bleep at 5:31 PM on October 13

Don't blow sunshine up my skirt.
posted by mefireader at 5:42 PM on October 13 [2 favorites]

Don’t come the raw prawn with me.
posted by arha at 5:56 PM on October 13 [3 favorites]

Yeah? Then I've got some swamp land in Florida to sell you.

If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell to you.
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:17 PM on October 13

You can't bullshit the bull!

You can't snow the snowman!

(There's considerable breadth available here, if I'm interpreting the question correctly)
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:18 PM on October 13

I may have been born at night, but not last night.
posted by cali59 at 6:23 PM on October 13 [8 favorites]

I wasn't born yesterday

Don't try to play me
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:27 PM on October 13

Not exactly the same, but very similar in spirit: Don't set me on fire and then act like you're the one burning
posted by contrapositive at 6:42 PM on October 13 [3 favorites]

Best answer: The OP's phrase essentially translates to "don't gaslight me" or "don't insult me and then pretend you were complimenting me when you got called out". The majority of answers in the thread are not even remotely close to that.
posted by dobbs at 6:43 PM on October 13 [13 favorites]

Don't shit on my leg and tell me it's a puppy (Thank you Darius Horsham).
posted by pompomtom at 7:02 PM on October 13 [1 favorite]

Do you think I just fell off the turnip truck? / I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:57 PM on October 13 [2 favorites]

"Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!” - Simpsons (and Judge Judy)
posted by Toddles at 9:33 PM on October 13 [1 favorite]

I didn't come down in the last shower.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 11:59 PM on October 13

A couple of Scots expressions: ‘D’ye think ma heid's buttoned up the back?’ - broadly akin "do you think I was born yesterday" and "Did ye, aye?" - which is a way of indicating that you think somebody is "speakin pish" or generally being a fanny.
posted by rongorongo at 2:12 AM on October 14 [3 favorites]

Oh that old chestnut?
posted by pairofshades at 5:27 AM on October 14

An old one, but I love it:

"That's fish four days old. I won't buy it!"
-Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
posted by Laura in Canada at 5:32 AM on October 14

posted by Lanark at 6:50 AM on October 14

It's not quite the same and misses the gaslighting aspect, but in some Spanish places, "speak without hair on your tongue" (hable sin pelos en la lengua) can mean something like "don't read the company/government script, tell me what's actually true."
posted by eotvos at 8:06 AM on October 14

“I may have been born yesterday, but I got up early.”

Many thanks to a woman named Beverly who said that in front of me once, 20 years ago, and I never forgot it.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 12:41 PM on October 14 [1 favorite]

Don't kid a kidder.
posted by mmf at 2:37 PM on October 14

Another Scottish one: "Did ah come up the Clyde on a water biscuit?"
posted by scruss at 5:49 PM on October 14

One that's "thesaurus close" (different connotations but there are situations where you could use either) is the "mushroom treatment", being "kept in the dark and fed bullshit".
posted by Lady Li at 11:51 PM on October 14

This may be purely a 1980s North of England school thing, but "chinny reck-ON" was a phrase indicating deep disbelief.
posted by scruss at 11:01 AM on October 15

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