Terrible ghost jokes
August 1, 2018 6:58 AM   Subscribe

A guy on my project left. In a fit of comedic genius I turned his slack account into a ghost and posted a couple things. Now I need absolutely terrible ghost jokes. My team's morale is at stake. This is extremely important.

A guy on my project at work named Alex left and I took over his work. However, he failed to log out of his slack account before handing stuff off to me. Naturally, I changed his avatar to a ghost and declared myself the Ghost of Alex and made a couple funny posts as "Ghost Alex" on the team slack channel. Sadly, the account got deactivated as part of the normal process when someone leaves the company, but my project lead secretly created me another account so that I can keep being Ghost Alex. Yes, my project lead is possibly the coolest person ever.

Anyway, I want to periodically swoop in with terrible ghost jokes, along with periodically insulting the guy (my friend) who deleted the original Ghost Alex account.

So gimmie all your ghost jokes!
posted by PuppetMcSockerson to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (20 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

Sounds like you need to boost the team spirit!
posted by mermaidcafe at 7:07 AM on August 1 [13 favorites]

Why did the ghost decline to go to the party?
He had no body to go with
posted by EatMyHat at 7:45 AM on August 1 [5 favorites]

What do ghosts wear on their feet?
posted by ShooBoo at 7:59 AM on August 1 [2 favorites]

What's the ghost's favorite room in the house?

The living room!
posted by Melismata at 8:03 AM on August 1

What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spooketti
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.
What kind of dessert does a ghost like? I scream
posted by narancia at 8:05 AM on August 1 [1 favorite]

What’s a ghost’s favorite holiday decor? A Christmas wraith
posted by eirias at 8:09 AM on August 1 [2 favorites]

A Ghost walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.
posted by nickggully at 8:45 AM on August 1 [5 favorites]

What do Hungarian ghosts eat? Ghoulash!
posted by moonmilk at 8:51 AM on August 1 [1 favorite]

What did the ghost eat for breakfast on Halloween?

"Boooo"berry muffins
posted by litera scripta manet at 9:05 AM on August 1 [2 favorites]

Why didn't the ghost cross the road?

He didn't have the guts to.
posted by freezer cake at 9:43 AM on August 1 [1 favorite]

Knock knock

Who's there?

Ghosts go

Ghosts go who?

No, ghosts go boo
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 9:53 AM on August 1 [4 favorites]

What is a ghost's favorite amusement park ride?
(The roller-ghoster)
posted by Sauter Vaguely at 10:00 AM on August 1 [1 favorite]

What’s a ghosts favorite drink?

Evaporated milk.
posted by Rumple at 10:19 AM on August 1 [1 favorite]

Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the booos.
What's a ghost's favorite game? Hide and shriek.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What's a ghost's favorite plant? Bam-boo.

Also: not really a ghost joke, but still a top shelf ghost Vine.
posted by helloimjennsco at 12:02 PM on August 1 [1 favorite]

Why can't ghosts become fathers?
Because of their hollow-weenies.

Why didn't the ghost cross the road?
No guts.
posted by mefireader at 12:04 PM on August 1 [2 favorites]

Ghost Alex could get tired of no-one laughing at his jokes and turn into Petulant Goth Ghost Alex who drops GIFs into random conversations.
posted by desuetude at 1:11 PM on August 1 [1 favorite]

What stationery does a ghost use?
Ghost-it notes

posted by theora55 at 4:19 PM on August 1

What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
A poultrygeist.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare centers.

Why did the ghost get sent to jail?
He got arrested for possession.

What does a perverted ghost say?

What does a ghost call a scratch?
A boo boo.

Why don't ghosts go out in the rain?
It dampens their spirits.
But if the sun's shining just right, you'll see a rainboo.

Three ghosts want to go out Halloween night to scare up some fun. So one ghost checks the weather and finds out it will be extremely gusty. So he tells the others "Sorry guys, not tonight, we'd just be three sheets to the wind."

What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A Boo-gati.

Why won't liquor stores hire ghosts?
They'd steal all the boos.

Why did the ghost get in the elevator?
To lift its spirits.

Where did the ghost go on vacation?
posted by WCityMike at 4:52 PM on August 1 [2 favorites]

So I was flirting with this ghost, and I thought I was playing it really cool, but it turns out I'm totally transparent.
posted by Zed at 1:06 AM on August 2 [1 favorite]

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