which quote or text should we print on the ceiling of our elevator?
August 21, 2017 5:12 AM   Subscribe

Our office building manager has decided he wants to order a custom sticker to place on the ceiling of our elevator, which is in need of a little facelift. He wants to have a "fun" or "feel-good" quote to brighten people's day when (if) they look at it. Only he doesn't know what text exactly. I'm in charge of the graphic design for said text, but i'm personally not convinced we should have a text there at all, so i'm turning to the hivemind to convince me with your great ideas.

Short is good, something that could be read in once glance. Funny, interesting fact, feel-good or uplifting are all good options.
If it's helpful, the building is home to a co-working space and smaller startups and companies who all focus on sustainability and social issues. Elevator users are mostly people who come to that building for the first time.
The manager's first ideas were along the lines of "did you know only really smart people look at elevator ceilings’ or ‘an elevator ride is the perfect moment for a quick hug’... meh.

Curious what you guys come up with, whether you've seen it before in an elevator somewhere, or think you'd like to see it in ours!
posted by PardonMyFrench to Writing & Language (45 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
"What goes up must come down" is the obvious choice.

"PRO TIP: Elevator pitches rarely take place in elevators" would be funny, given the audience of your building.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:30 AM on August 21, 2017 [13 favorites]


"Ceiling cat is watching you elevate" plus photo of ceiling cat. Might be too nsfw though in its implications!
posted by hazyjane at 5:49 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


"No one will ever see this." - Elevator Repairman
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:50 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


I would stay away from text and just have a photo realistic image of a blue sky with some happy little clouds. Maybe a rainbow, or a flying saucer.
posted by arrmatie at 5:58 AM on August 21, 2017 [28 favorites]


“But who can resist the seductions of elevators these days, those stepping stones to Heaven, which make relentless verticality so alluring?”
― Colson Whitehead, The Intuitionist
posted by thelonius at 6:05 AM on August 21, 2017 [8 favorites]


Or maybe something from Fulton's Theoretical Elevators, as quoted in Whitehead's novel:

Our elevators are weak. They tend to get colds easily, they are forgetful. Our elevators ought to be variable in size and height, retractable altogether, impervious to scratches, self-cleaning, possessing a mouth.
posted by thelonius at 6:13 AM on August 21, 2017


If you could get "Eleven" printed with a sort of a Scottish look, that would be perfect
posted by wenestvedt at 6:14 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


No Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/Great Glass Elevator quotes yet so allow me to fling these into the pot:

“You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.”

― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,” Mr. Wonka said.”

― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
posted by greenish at 6:23 AM on August 21, 2017 [6 favorites]


The word "gullible"
posted by the_blizz at 6:25 AM on August 21, 2017 [7 favorites]


If you have access to a large format vinyl printer, take a photo of the existing ceiling and Photoshop it until it looks like one of the tornado portals into the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks S03, or do an Aperture Science portal containing a side view into one of your bathroom stalls.
posted by flabdablet at 6:27 AM on August 21, 2017


Slay them all. Surely God will know his own.
posted by Bruce H. at 6:29 AM on August 21, 2017


'Films lied to you: there is no escape hatch.'
posted by Segundus at 6:36 AM on August 21, 2017


"We lift you up."

"Wop bobaloo bop, a wop bam boo."

"Your shoelace is untied." (If they're looking up, this'll cause them to look at the floor.) Then on the floor, "Just kidding."
posted by WCityMike at 7:36 AM on August 21, 2017 [7 favorites]


"Still I rise." Sounds cryptic and is technically fifty percent incorrect. But is lifted from an inspirational poem (of the same name?) by Maya Angelou.
posted by puddledork at 7:38 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Instead of a custom sticker, use a Post-It note. Every time it falls off, replace it with a new one. Each note should contain just the first half of a mangled version of a well known quote, like

IT IS EASIER FOR
A RICH MAN TO
PASS THROUGH
THE EYE OF A
NEEDLE THAN
posted by flabdablet at 8:13 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Or go with song lyrics:

NEVER GONNA
LIFT YOU UP
NEVER GONNA
LET YOU OUT
posted by flabdablet at 8:13 AM on August 21, 2017 [12 favorites]


Get a bunch of people in conservative business wear to look really really bored while lying flat on the floor of the elevator with their feet all touching one wall, and photograph them from a ceiling mounted camera oriented to make it look like they're all standing. Make sure the elevator door and buttons are visible at the side of the photo. Attach the result to the ceiling with the feet pointing toward the door.
posted by flabdablet at 8:35 AM on August 21, 2017


Use obscure movie quotes.

HAVE YOU
GOT SOUP
WHY DIDN'T
I GET ANY
SOUP
posted by flabdablet at 8:45 AM on August 21, 2017


"THE FLOOR IS LAVA"

"Someone pressed all the buttons again, huh??"

"So, have you ever lived seen the movie Devil, by M. Night Shyamalan?"

"Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler..."

"OH, what a fee-eeeel-ing!/When we're staring at the ceiling!"

"Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

"Tall, handsome ceiling seeks long term relationship. Feel free to stare."
posted by Amor Bellator at 8:51 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


NO SLACKING!
EYES FRONT
posted by flabdablet at 9:04 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


THIS WAY
TO THE
EGRESS
posted by flabdablet at 9:05 AM on August 21, 2017


"The only way is up, baby
for you and me now"
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 9:13 AM on August 21, 2017


HONK
IF YOU
posted by flabdablet at 9:16 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


If photo realism is available: burrow roof with protruding tree roots.
posted by flabdablet at 9:19 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Up with people!
posted by dywypi at 9:53 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Ewww... at the hug idea. No one should be feel pressured to hug a stranger, and having it done at work is a squillion times worse.


There's always 'The stairs are that way' (arrow as appropriate)
posted by happyturtle at 9:56 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]


ACCESS TO
STARE WELL
posted by flabdablet at 10:09 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


"If you lived here you'd be home by now"
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:22 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]


NO MATTER
WHERE YOU GO
THERE YOU ARE
posted by flabdablet at 10:23 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


This is just to say
there's a lady
who's sure
fruit flies
like a banana
posted by flabdablet at 10:25 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


The sky's the limit!
posted by Night_owl at 10:27 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
posted by Jabberwocky at 10:28 AM on August 21, 2017


There's a multi-level parking garage near me that has a small neon sign hanging from the ceiling as you drive out that says "Livin' the Dream." It cracks me up every time I see it. I usually prefer more serious or meaningful quotes, but I think it works because a) it's totally nonsensical given the location and b) it can be interpreted as inspiring or hilariously ironic depending on who sees it and when.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 11:31 AM on August 21, 2017 [13 favorites]


This way up
Aim high
Higher ground
Rise up
Look out below
posted by crazycanuck at 11:43 AM on August 21, 2017


"In life and in the universe it's always best to keep looking up."
Neil DeGrasse Tyson

This one is long, from Carl Sagan, and could work really well with a crowd working on sustainability and social issues. Pair it with the image of Earth right under Saturn's ring.
"If you look at Earth from space you see a dot, that's here. That's home. That's us. It underscores the responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known. Thank you all."
posted by gloturtle at 1:42 PM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Up, up, and away

or

The Sky's the Limit
posted by bearwife at 2:53 PM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'll bet your boss would be happy with "Having an open door in front of you means having an opportunity in front of you. (syrupy)

My personal fav:

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button!!!

ceiling quotes

There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs. (or variations)

Never run for an elevator; it looks needy.

I feel it's a responsibility for anyone who breaks through a certain ceiling... to send the elevator back down and give others a helpful lift.

Aim for the sky and you'll reach the ceiling. Aim for the ceiling and you'll stay on the floor.

If it doesn't open, it's not your door.
posted by BlueHorse at 4:19 PM on August 21, 2017


Remember, one elevator's ceiling is another elevator's floor.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:43 PM on August 21, 2017


When you look up, all things are possible. Ideally on a sky scene background...
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 6:30 PM on August 21, 2017


"Scuse me while I kiss the sky"
posted by MexicanYenta at 8:12 PM on August 21, 2017


There's cheap removable ceiling cat type decals on Amazon right now or one of the sky panels that cover tube type lights. That would make me smile if I saw it in an elevator.
posted by stray thoughts at 9:10 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Since I am a grumpy cynical type, twee text quotes generally annoy me. Graphics are much more fun. I vote for some amusing decals, which could be switched out regularly since the joke will wear thin, and the anticipation of a new one will be fun. My first thought was ceiling cat.
posted by Joh at 9:43 PM on August 21, 2017


we are all of us
in the gutter
but some of us
are looking at
the stairs
posted by flabdablet at 11:58 PM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


From someone who's only recently gotten sort of over a pretty bad fear of elevators: please nothing, not even jokey, about dying in an elevator.

I like ceiling cat the best.
posted by augustimagination at 12:42 AM on August 22, 2017


"If you lived here you'd be home by now"

Literally, actually, laughed out loud.

Thank you, nebulawindphone.
posted by Bruce H. at 7:53 PM on August 25, 2017


« Older Where can I find eclipse glasses in Oregon before...   |   Handle extender for short stroller? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.