Shaking yes or nodding: is this variation regional?
March 29, 2017 10:29 AM Subscribe
Today I told someone on the phone that other people in the room were shaking their heads.
She asked if they were shaking no or yes.
Another coworker remarked later on how weird this was, and how I said "nod" deliberately later in the call. So it made me wonder, in English (especially in US English), is "nod" vs "shake yes" a regional variation?
Growing up in New England (Vermont), shake meant either yes or no. It wasn't until I really started reading that I learned that other people assumed shake meant no.
posted by General Malaise at 10:38 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by General Malaise at 10:38 AM on March 29, 2017
Head shakes mean yes in Bulgaria and parts of Albania, and there's the South East Asian 'head bobble' that is a 'general affirmative/I understand/yes you're on the right track' gesture, but can look like a head shake if you're unfamiliar with it.
But I've never heard of shake vs nod being ambiguous or meaning different things in Anglophone countries.
posted by Happy Dave at 10:42 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
But I've never heard of shake vs nod being ambiguous or meaning different things in Anglophone countries.
posted by Happy Dave at 10:42 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
To me (grew up in southern California, live in New York City now), in describing Western norms of yes/no head-shaking*:
You can "shake [your head] yes" or "shake [your head] no" -- both are fine and don't seem strange to me.
But if you just say "shake your head," without a yes/no, I would always understand that to be "no." You have to specify "yes" for me to interpret "shake" with a yes.
On the other hand, "nodding" to me can only mean "yes." You can "nod your head" or "nod [your head] yes," but you can't "nod no."
*I am aware of the Indian head bobble but I'm not describing that here.
posted by andrewesque at 10:43 AM on March 29, 2017 [21 favorites]
You can "shake [your head] yes" or "shake [your head] no" -- both are fine and don't seem strange to me.
But if you just say "shake your head," without a yes/no, I would always understand that to be "no." You have to specify "yes" for me to interpret "shake" with a yes.
On the other hand, "nodding" to me can only mean "yes." You can "nod your head" or "nod [your head] yes," but you can't "nod no."
*I am aware of the Indian head bobble but I'm not describing that here.
posted by andrewesque at 10:43 AM on March 29, 2017 [21 favorites]
I keep hearing "she shook her head yes" on podcasts lately and it has been driving me crazy.
posted by misseva at 10:45 AM on March 29, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by misseva at 10:45 AM on March 29, 2017 [8 favorites]
Raised in central Indiana by a mother from rural Mississippi and a father from Chicago. Always, always: shaking (back and forth) meant no, nodding (up and down) meant yes. Shaking never referred to yes. Ever. If you spoke the gesture, you'd say "shake your head no" or "nod if you agree" or something to that effect.
posted by cooker girl at 10:47 AM on March 29, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 10:47 AM on March 29, 2017 [6 favorites]
I grew up in the Southern US and nod might mean yes or just 'I am hearing you saying things', but shake is always no.
posted by winna at 10:48 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by winna at 10:48 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: To clarify, I'm asking about whether/where, especially in the US, "shake" could refer to either the "no" or the "yes" gestures used here.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:50 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:50 AM on March 29, 2017
Response by poster: Not what the gestures mean, just what they're called. Sorry for the ambiguous phrasing up too.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:51 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:51 AM on March 29, 2017
Grew up in Chicago then Pennsylvania, now in NYC -- I agree with andrewesque. For yes I've said / heard "shake her head yes" and "nodded", for no "shake his head no" or just "shook his head." Saying "shaking my head" without the yes or no means disagreement or disapproval, the same way "nodding" means agreement.
posted by Mchelly at 10:51 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by Mchelly at 10:51 AM on March 29, 2017
I have always seen nod mean yes and shake mean no in english-speaking countries.
In Greece the head gestures are reversed, and also the greek words sound annoyingly like their english opposites (the Greek for "Yes" is "Ναί" and their word for "No" is "Οχι" which sounds like "OK").
Indians sometimes do that bobbly headshake which is kind of a "maybe".
posted by w0mbat at 10:55 AM on March 29, 2017 [1 favorite]
In Greece the head gestures are reversed, and also the greek words sound annoyingly like their english opposites (the Greek for "Yes" is "Ναί" and their word for "No" is "Οχι" which sounds like "OK").
Indians sometimes do that bobbly headshake which is kind of a "maybe".
posted by w0mbat at 10:55 AM on March 29, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've been wanting to do a survey about this for a long time! So, I made a survey to try to gather data in such a way that we can figure out if there are age or regional variations in usage.
https://goo.gl/forms/GCrwGzIc453WxHP42
It's really short!
In the past when I've done surveys based on language-related Ask Metafilter questions, I've received thousands of responses. Let's hope we can figure this out beyond anecdotal responses.
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:07 AM on March 29, 2017 [9 favorites]
https://goo.gl/forms/GCrwGzIc453WxHP42
It's really short!
In the past when I've done surveys based on language-related Ask Metafilter questions, I've received thousands of responses. Let's hope we can figure this out beyond anecdotal responses.
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:07 AM on March 29, 2017 [9 favorites]
Hey Mo - email address seems to be a required field, but nothing else is? Can you change that?
posted by brainmouse at 11:08 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by brainmouse at 11:08 AM on March 29, 2017
I shake my head for no, and nod my head for yes (US Southeast). So to me, "shake" always refers to the side to side motion of my head indicating no, and "nod" always refers to the up and down motion of my head indicating yes.
posted by ralan at 11:09 AM on March 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by ralan at 11:09 AM on March 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
@brainmouse, try it now.
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:10 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:10 AM on March 29, 2017
Shaking the head = back and forth = no.
Nodding the head = up and down = yes.
DC metro.
posted by headnsouth at 11:12 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
Nodding the head = up and down = yes.
DC metro.
posted by headnsouth at 11:12 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
US West/NW, have also spent signifigant time in Boston and Florida. In all areas, nod for positive and shake for negative has been the accepted practice.
posted by monopas at 11:24 AM on March 29, 2017
posted by monopas at 11:24 AM on March 29, 2017
I have heard "shake [one's] head yes" to refer to the nodding gesture often enough to realize it is indeed a thing.
I'm not sure about region. I'm from Northern New England--in my case, Maine--and to call it "nodding" and reserve "shake" exclusively for "shake side to side to mean no" feels way more natural to me. On the other hand, the fact that I've even heard of the other way when the idea is so foreign to others that they're misunderstanding the question may mean that I grew up closer to the epicenter of it than I thought.
posted by lampoil at 11:35 AM on March 29, 2017
I'm not sure about region. I'm from Northern New England--in my case, Maine--and to call it "nodding" and reserve "shake" exclusively for "shake side to side to mean no" feels way more natural to me. On the other hand, the fact that I've even heard of the other way when the idea is so foreign to others that they're misunderstanding the question may mean that I grew up closer to the epicenter of it than I thought.
posted by lampoil at 11:35 AM on March 29, 2017
Oh, should I complicate things by referring to the northern Swedish practice of whistling the affirmative declaration? Yes, I should.
posted by seasparrow at 12:20 PM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by seasparrow at 12:20 PM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
Nodding is moving the head up and down to indicate agreement/yes, shaking is twisting the head from side to side to indicate disagreement/no. This is the first time I have heard "shaking one's head yes" and it is hurting my brain. I'm from the northwest US.
posted by esoterrica at 12:20 PM on March 29, 2017
posted by esoterrica at 12:20 PM on March 29, 2017
This is literally the first time in my life I have ever heard anyone refer to "shaking one's head" in the affirmative. 100% of the time, I've heard and used "nod" for "yes" and "shake" for "no." Native speaker of American English, upstate New York.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:21 PM on March 29, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:21 PM on March 29, 2017 [5 favorites]
With 459 responses to the survey so far, 8.5% say that "shaking her head yes" sounds correct. I'll let the data accumulate a lot more before reporting fully but thought you might want to know.
posted by Mo Nickels at 12:23 PM on March 29, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Mo Nickels at 12:23 PM on March 29, 2017 [1 favorite]
Raised in Ohio, live in Colorado. "Shake" is ambiguous, and I would need clarification.
posted by sugarbomb at 1:29 PM on March 29, 2017
posted by sugarbomb at 1:29 PM on March 29, 2017
If I read, in an article or book:
"Alex asked Pam if she wanted coffee; she shook her head."
I would assume that Pam did not want coffee.
If I read :
"Alex asked Pam if she wanted coffee; she shook her head yes."
I would think it non-standard American English, though perfectly parseable.
Grew up in Hawaii and New England, lived for some years in the DC area, and since in Northern California. I have heard/seen this useage, but rarely, and I don't use it.
posted by rtha at 1:42 PM on March 29, 2017
"Alex asked Pam if she wanted coffee; she shook her head."
I would assume that Pam did not want coffee.
If I read :
"Alex asked Pam if she wanted coffee; she shook her head yes."
I would think it non-standard American English, though perfectly parseable.
Grew up in Hawaii and New England, lived for some years in the DC area, and since in Northern California. I have heard/seen this useage, but rarely, and I don't use it.
posted by rtha at 1:42 PM on March 29, 2017
Head shakes mean yes in Bulgaria and parts of Albania
I hope it's not too much of a derail, but a family friend likes to tell a story about the time this fact was confirmed for him.
He was on the plane before takeoff, sitting in the exit row. The flight attendant came by and did the usual routine where they have to ask "are you willing to operate the exit door in the event of an emergency?" They go through person by person and ask for a confirmation.
She got to our friend and he nodded. She said "I'm sorry, I know it's ridiculous, but I need you to say 'yes' out loud or it doesn't count."
And our friend said "no, I understand! Because you know I heard that in Bulgaria, shaking your head this way means yes, and nodding like this means no -- I don't know if it's true or not, but that's what I've heard."
Just then the guy in the seat in front of him got up, turned around, and said (with great enthusiasm) "I am from Bulgaria, and I can confirm that this is true!" while shaking his head.
And from the back of the plane someone yelled "what are the odds!"
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:58 PM on March 29, 2017 [9 favorites]
I hope it's not too much of a derail, but a family friend likes to tell a story about the time this fact was confirmed for him.
He was on the plane before takeoff, sitting in the exit row. The flight attendant came by and did the usual routine where they have to ask "are you willing to operate the exit door in the event of an emergency?" They go through person by person and ask for a confirmation.
She got to our friend and he nodded. She said "I'm sorry, I know it's ridiculous, but I need you to say 'yes' out loud or it doesn't count."
And our friend said "no, I understand! Because you know I heard that in Bulgaria, shaking your head this way means yes, and nodding like this means no -- I don't know if it's true or not, but that's what I've heard."
Just then the guy in the seat in front of him got up, turned around, and said (with great enthusiasm) "I am from Bulgaria, and I can confirm that this is true!" while shaking his head.
And from the back of the plane someone yelled "what are the odds!"
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:58 PM on March 29, 2017 [9 favorites]
@Mo Nickels : I answered with the place I grew up and the place I live in your field inquiring where I live; not sure if you care about those data, but I think where someone grew up probably matters at least equally to where they currently live. Maybe add a field? Though it sounds like you've gotten a ton of responses so far.
posted by Illuminated Clocks at 3:13 PM on March 29, 2017
posted by Illuminated Clocks at 3:13 PM on March 29, 2017
Nod (up and down) for yes and shake your head (side to side) for no. Never interchangeable. NYC and environs.
posted by Neeuq Nus at 3:19 PM on March 29, 2017
posted by Neeuq Nus at 3:19 PM on March 29, 2017
@Illuminated Clocks, when I've tried to separate out origin from residence in other surveys it's just made it too confusing for people, so I left it off this time.
I'm not too worried about it. Even though people move, sociolinguistic fieldwork shows that regional variations will still be in evidence if the sample size is large enough, not least because newcomers frequently adopt the local variations.
posted by Mo Nickels at 3:31 PM on March 29, 2017
I'm not too worried about it. Even though people move, sociolinguistic fieldwork shows that regional variations will still be in evidence if the sample size is large enough, not least because newcomers frequently adopt the local variations.
posted by Mo Nickels at 3:31 PM on March 29, 2017
Midwesterner born-and-raised, West Coast for almost 15 years now:
"Don't say anything, just shake your head yes or no" = "Move your head back-and-forth to indicate no, up and down to indicate yes"
"Are they shaking their heads yes or no?" = "Are they nodding, or are they shaking their heads?" - totally understandable/acceptable as a question
"I was shaking my head/I shook my head" = "I was moving my head back and forth to indicate no" - this would never mean "I was nodding to indicate yes"
"She asked if I wanted to go and I shook my head yes" is acceptable and normal to me.
If someone said "They're shaking their heads in response" I would automatically assume it meant "They were indicating no" UNLESS I knew that someone had said "Don't say anything, just shake your head yes or no." "They're nodding their heads" is the only way I would assume it was positive.
posted by erst at 4:10 PM on March 29, 2017
"Don't say anything, just shake your head yes or no" = "Move your head back-and-forth to indicate no, up and down to indicate yes"
"Are they shaking their heads yes or no?" = "Are they nodding, or are they shaking their heads?" - totally understandable/acceptable as a question
"I was shaking my head/I shook my head" = "I was moving my head back and forth to indicate no" - this would never mean "I was nodding to indicate yes"
"She asked if I wanted to go and I shook my head yes" is acceptable and normal to me.
If someone said "They're shaking their heads in response" I would automatically assume it meant "They were indicating no" UNLESS I knew that someone had said "Don't say anything, just shake your head yes or no." "They're nodding their heads" is the only way I would assume it was positive.
posted by erst at 4:10 PM on March 29, 2017
Native New Englander here. I have never used "shake" to describe an affirmative head movement, and I would be very, very confused if someone used it as such.
posted by jesourie at 5:04 PM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by jesourie at 5:04 PM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
The only time I hear "shake your head yes, shake your head no" is in yoga or modern dance classes where I am folded forward over my legs and we are relaxing our necks during warmup. I'd never thought this could be a regional variation, just a dance quirk, but hey, I learned something new today.
Grew up in CT, now in Seattle.
posted by batter_my_heart at 5:29 PM on March 29, 2017
Grew up in CT, now in Seattle.
posted by batter_my_heart at 5:29 PM on March 29, 2017
Suburbs of NYC - a nod is always a yes.
Shaking of the head can be yes or no, if so indicated (ie, "she's shaking her head yes," or "he's shaking his head no."
If not indicated, the shaking of the head is presumed to be no.
posted by firei at 7:09 PM on March 29, 2017
Shaking of the head can be yes or no, if so indicated (ie, "she's shaking her head yes," or "he's shaking his head no."
If not indicated, the shaking of the head is presumed to be no.
posted by firei at 7:09 PM on March 29, 2017
UK English native English speaker here, and I've read a huge amount of US English. This question is the first place I have ever heard anyone describe a "nod" as a "shaking her head yes". I would never associate the word "shake" with a "nod", although I can understand what you mean in context here.
posted by richb at 3:53 AM on March 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by richb at 3:53 AM on March 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
NH-born, MA-resident (both New England), Dad from NY, Mum from the UK, avid reader with friends across the US & Europe - this is the first time I've ever heard anyone say or seen anyone write "shake your head" meaning anything but no.
posted by pammeke at 7:17 AM on March 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by pammeke at 7:17 AM on March 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
Moderately read 20-something in the southern US, and I have seen people say "shakes her head yes" etc.
For the record:
"shook his/her head yes" yields 20,500 results on Google Books
"shook his/her head no" yeilds 509,000
and, then:
"nodded/nods/nod yes" yields 291,700
posted by FirstMateKate at 7:26 AM on March 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
For the record:
"shook his/her head yes" yields 20,500 results on Google Books
"shook his/her head no" yeilds 509,000
and, then:
"nodded/nods/nod yes" yields 291,700
posted by FirstMateKate at 7:26 AM on March 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I learned English in NYC and practice it in Northern California.
posted by danny the boy at 10:36 AM on March 29, 2017 [3 favorites]