How do you wish you spent your free time in your 20s?

January 17, 2016 4:36 PM

I'm getting used to the pace of graduate school now, and to my surprise, I actually have a fair deal of free time on the weekends. Currently, I mostly spend it idle at home doing nothing in particular, which doesn't strike me as a good use of this time. One complication is that the free time I have is not always consistent (some weeks I might have some major coursework due) or predictable (deadlines might pop up with little notice), so it's hard to take on any pre-scheduled commitments. With this constraint in mind, I'm still eager to spend this time on learning some new skills, or taking up a new hobby, or anything productive/interesting, really. Mefites of more advanced wisdom: what are things that you wish you had taken the time to do/learn in your 20s?
posted by Conspire to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (62 answers total)

Travel!
posted by oceanjesse at 4:38 PM on January 17, 2016 [7 favorites]

Take hikes and spend time outdoors, healthy for the body and the mind.
posted by just asking at 4:42 PM on January 17, 2016

learning how to spend money like a responsible adult and not like a complete fucking idiot moron baby probably would've been a grand idea for me.
posted by poffin boffin at 4:44 PM on January 17, 2016 [44 favorites]

Seeing more live music and theater!
posted by heathrowga at 4:44 PM on January 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

Anything outside. Kayaking. Hiking. Camping. Skiing. Cross-country skiing. You only get creakier as you get older, so doing things like that at 50 is a lot harder than doing stuff like that at 25. Do as much of that as you can while you can recover fast.
posted by clone boulevard at 4:44 PM on January 17, 2016 [10 favorites]

More exercise. More reading for pleasure. More travel, even if it's just spontaneous daytrips. Learning how to cook!
posted by greta simone at 4:44 PM on January 17, 2016 [7 favorites]

Also, get a dog.
posted by clone boulevard at 4:45 PM on January 17, 2016

I really wish I had chosen one particular side project or area of interest and focused on building skills in that area. Granted, I didn't go to graduate school, and I work in a creative field where everyone is expected to have their other thing that they "really" want to do that takes over their spare time. Your career trajectory might be different, and your free time might really be free. But the number of times I've kicked myself for not starting that blog or finishing that screenplay or taking that comedy workshop is staggering. And now I'm in my 30s, surrounded by people who did spend their 20s getting really good at Their Thing, and most of them are more successful than I am.

If you aren't operating under the constraint of basically having two careers, one of which you don't get paid for, then seriously I wouldn't worry too much about what to do. I guess there are better ways of passing the time than watching bad reality TV or playing Candy Crush or whatever, but I don't think you necessarily need guidance there. Get (and use) a library card! Learn a craft that has always interested you! Practice an instrument! Watch every Katherine Hepburn movie! Cook elaborate meals from scratch! You don't even have to focus on one thing, or always pick a Morally Uplifting thing or whatever. This is your time.
posted by Sara C. at 4:48 PM on January 17, 2016 [5 favorites]

I got really good at cooking from scratch, learned to enjoy the hell out of doing things by myself (long trips, day trips, going to the movies, going to a restaurant, having a cocktail at a bar), and got a dog. A++ would do my 20s like that again.
posted by olinerd at 5:00 PM on January 17, 2016 [6 favorites]

If you don't drive, learn to now. It sucks to do it when you are almost 40 and feeling the pressure because you need it for work.
posted by JoannaC at 5:01 PM on January 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

Also, get a dog.

I was just talking about this the other day. I wish I had gotten a dog sooner. Dogs are the best.
posted by phunniemee at 5:06 PM on January 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

In your area, I would look into sailing, windsurfing, kayaking - anything that gets you out on the water with the freedom of moving with only your own effort and the wind. There are a lot of boats out on the water that depend on gasoline. Someone who is free of that dependency is truly free.
posted by yclipse at 5:08 PM on January 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

Do things outdoors that are cost free or near-free. Take your money and put it into a retirement account. Do these things only with people that share this view.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:13 PM on January 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

At risk of sounding like a broken record...hand tool woodworking. Roy Underhill's The Woodwright's Shop episodes are available for free at PBS. If you look for episodes featuring Chris Schwarz, you'll find a bunch of good info on basics of sawing and planing and making the most of a small, select tool kit.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:14 PM on January 17, 2016 [7 favorites]

Explore the fascinating world of recreational drugs! (just kidding)

Learn an instrument if you don't know one already. I recommend classical guitar.
posted by cleroy at 5:15 PM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

There are a lot of practical skills you could learn: electrical wiring (even just enough to change a light fixture), accounting and tax preparation, that kind of thing. But my real answer is, get a second job and save that money toward your future.

I'm also really glad I stayed healthy and kept up exercising to the degree I did in grad school.
posted by salvia at 5:21 PM on January 17, 2016

At my grad school, there were events every day and evening, seven days a week -- formal talks, Hindi or Swahili or Russian movie nights, speed dating, cooking demonstrations, short courses, and on and on. I went to quite a few, but I wish I had gone to ten times as many. (There were also lots of opportunities to travel on the university's dime, which I highly recommend, but I think you are asking about filling small gaps in your schedule, not what to do for spring break.)

And like everyone says, anything that is physical, because you really do get creakier (and busier!) as you get older.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:22 PM on January 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

I actually really liked doing nothing in my twenties. Still do in my thirties, for that matter. Productivity isn't always the best measure of time well-spent.

That said, if I had my twenties to do over again, I would spend my free time practicing things that would benefit my health, finances, or home in the long term. I'd have taken up kickboxing sooner, made a game of saving money, taught myself how to cook, etc.

I also recommend using this time to cultivate and maintain friendships. Good friendships can last forever, and it gets harder to meet people the older you get.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:24 PM on January 17, 2016 [17 favorites]

I wish I'd done yoga, because I came to it late, and as much as I love it, it seems there are things I will never be able to do.

Second learning to drive and learning to play an instrument.

I am very glad that I spent as much time hanging with friends as I did though, because the opportunities become less and I'm so happy for those memories.
posted by maggiemaggie at 5:29 PM on January 17, 2016

Living in San Francisco, working in s dynamic industry, going out with my friends and spending too much damn time attending memorial services for people who died of AIDS

I have no regrets, except for the funerals. That sucked.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:33 PM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

I wish I had spent more time doing my coursework tbh. I had too much else going on and couldn't really focus. You're only in grad school once. Assuming you're there because of what you want to do when you get out, are you on track to be ready for that?

Ok that being said - how is your social life? If you don't have much of one, being a student is a great time to work on that. If you do have friends and such, it's a good idea to use that free time to nurture those relationships and keep them healthy.

If everything above is set, a great useful skill I wish I had is cooking. It's really hard to live when you're not good at this or don't like doing it.
posted by bleep at 5:36 PM on January 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

Honestly, now that I'm in my 30s with three kids I'd give just about anything for a weekend by myself doing nothing. So don't give it up entirely!

That being said, I wish I'd taken more classes...arts, writing, an instrument, cooking. Just learning and exploring my interests. Hobbies are harder to explore later on.
posted by christinetheslp at 5:41 PM on January 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

Coming right to post to second, third and fourth Poffin Boffin's plan of getting financially responsible. If I had known then what I know now...AND had the Internet resources to teach myself / set up a plan in 1993-1995..... I'd be looking at the NEXT 20 years through a much rosier lens. Time is on your side now with regards to money, even if you only have an extra $10 a month. I'm sure there will be many more great ideas in this thread but get your finances and, more importantly, financial habits in step now.
posted by pearlybob at 5:43 PM on January 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

I spent my twenties cooking, knitting, and arguing about heraldry. I can recommend all of these activities, though I suppose heraldry is kind of a niche interest. These days I do less knitting and more running/climbing/snowshoeing/what-have-you. I personally needed all of my twenties to get over middle school P.E., but maybe you are more enlightened & can start sooner.

It seems easier now than it has ever been to mess around with programming; that's probably the most practical thing I can recommend, if you're not already doing this through your grad program (and maybe even if you are).
posted by yarntheory at 5:43 PM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Some of this may be specific to my failings, but I would have:
- maintained contact with my college/high school friends, we just drifted apart...I know this is common, but I didn't make the effort and I regret that
- n-thing learning about money and budgeting ("The Millionaire Next Door" kind of stuff)
- learned more about personal effectiveness (yes, I know you need to be very effective to get a graduate degree, but the farther into life you go the more plates you have to spin on the ends of sticks, and everybody else is in the same boat so you get limited sympathy if you can't keep up). This includes work space organization, time effectiveness, emotional self-control, etc.
- decided what I really believed at the most fundamental level on the most important topics...I think I ended up following the path of least resistance, or else the path of "don't do what my parents did": relationships, parenting, career, integrity, spirituality, risk tolerance, professionalism are all things that don't happen by default, they require a lot thought and prioritization.
posted by forthright at 5:44 PM on January 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

I spent a lot of time (and not that much money) seeing live music, and I'm really glad I did, because most of the acts are either too huge to afford to see now, broken up, or dead.

Also wish I had gotten a dog sooner.
posted by WesterbergHigh at 5:48 PM on January 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

Learning a musical instrument
posted by schrodycat at 5:58 PM on January 17, 2016

Sewing.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:01 PM on January 17, 2016

Now in late 40s, I did the grad school thing in my 20s. Things I spent a lot of time doing then with zero regrets now: outdoor stuff (hiking, mountain biking, skiing, kayaking, rock climbing) and cooking/hosting dinner parties. Things I wished I had done: learning a musical instrument.
posted by kovacs at 6:11 PM on January 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

Take advantage of things you may have unique access to as a grad student. There are things universities have that other places don't have as easily, as well as things only open to students and young people, that you should do now.

If you have good healthcare through the university, use it to get preventative care. (For example, I really wish I'd started allergy shots when I was in law school, where it would have been really convenient to go to the campus clinic right across the street once a week, instead of now, when my allergies have gotten worse as I get older, looking down the barrel of several years of weekly hour-long trips across town when I'm really too busy to manage it, but now I have to. I blew it off when I was in school, even though it would have been easy, and I regret it.)

But fun stuff: I bet your university has a decent gym that is free or cheap to you. I bet they have free or cheap classes and personal training and all sorts of opportunities to try out new team sports or different kinds of exercise classes. Try everything that's available, with an eye toward finding forms of exercise you love, especially things you'll be able to do for the rest of your life as you age.

Most universities give students access to free or cheap tickets to theater and movies and amusement parks and the ballet and the opera and art shows and ice skating and all sorts of things. Go to all sorts of artsy and fun and weird activities that you can do for free or cheap now.

See if your university will let you take or audit classes in other divisions. If you can take a foreign language class for free, take it. Learn the language. It's a great skill, and it'll make you smarter, and this is the only time in your life when formal language lessons will be free. Or music lessons. Or an art class. Or computer programming. Or intro to economics, or constitutional law, or 13th century Spanish history, or whatever strikes your fancy that the university offers a class in. Even if you aren't allowed to actually take the class, there are very few professors who would say no if you went to their office hours and expressed a genuine interest in learning more about their field of study and asked if you could sit in on their weekly class.

I endorse a lot of the things people have said above about reading and exercise and spending time outside and having fun. But definitely make sure that, at the very least, you're taking advantage of everything your tuition buys you while you're still a student.
posted by decathecting at 6:14 PM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Rode my bicycle a lot, like hundreds of miles a week.
Worked at a bike shop to get discounts on bike stuff.
Read a lot, 3-4 books a week.
Listened to music, actually listened, not just had it on in the background.
Had actual friends that I still am close to to this day.
Had an actual real relationship, still with them.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 6:30 PM on January 17, 2016

I learned classical guitar in my 20s, I still play, and it actually got me through a hard time in my life. I wish I had gotten outside and taken more pictures in my 20s. I wish I had learned to cook. I'm doing both of those things in my 40s. Don't buy shit on credit. Get a cat, not a stupid dog.
posted by Huck500 at 6:49 PM on January 17, 2016

I regret not forming better habits. I wish I'd spent more time establishing a weekly workout schedule, even if it was just walk every day and run a few miles every weekend. I also wish I'd saved more money (at least 6 months worth of an emergency fund).
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:54 PM on January 17, 2016 [5 favorites]

Spend time with friends. The older you get, the harder it is to have deep relationships—soon people will start having children, they'll get busy with work, and true friendships will fall by the wayside.
posted by Aanidaani at 7:03 PM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

I wish I'd been less uptight or afraid of doing things I wanted to do - more to the point, hung up on judging the things I wanted to do, or hand-wringing about it, and trying to find some kind of justification for them. Given a do-over, I'd go for more hedonism and more risk-taking in general over caution. I guess I wish I were just lighter about everything, less serious. (So like, maybe I'd have done some circus classes, that kind of thing.)

I really wish I had chosen one particular side project or area of interest and focused on building skills in that area... But the number of times I've kicked myself for not starting that blog or finishing that screenplay or taking that comedy workshop is staggering.

2nd. (That said, it's never too late. The earlier, the better, sure.)

2nd exercise - just more physical activity in general. I only really understood that I lived in a body after I was 30.
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:30 PM on January 17, 2016 [5 favorites]

I wish I would have picked up an instrument and played music with people. I started playing the guitar in my thirties and the idea that I could have been doing it far sooner is something I'll always regret, and playing with people is the strongest connection and most fun I've ever had with someone I wasn't having sex or doing drugs with.

Writing for fun and creating more art. Anything really but especially photography or painting.

This is more a personal thing but cultivating stronger ties with people that didn't involve drinking or drugs or some other kind of superficial bullshit activities that now mean little or nothing.
posted by dozo at 7:33 PM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

I so wish I had gotten a dog sooner. The decades of my life that I wasted dogless. I had no idea.
posted by HotToddy at 9:36 PM on January 17, 2016

I learned sailing, wood working and furniture building and gardening (plus dance lessons) in my TEENS. What are you waiting for!!

I learned photography (film and digital) plus editing and graphic design in my 20's. Not to mention getting involved in government and activism.

My main focus was and is now culinary. But all of these lead into that.

Be well rounded. Did I mention wilderness backpacking? Oh my shit, did I rock that! Wilderness backpacking and kayak camping. YEP!
posted by jbenben at 11:15 PM on January 17, 2016

My main regret is not going to more shows and concerts. Also, I should've gone outside more often, worked harder on my studies, and formed better habits.

I did work on my cooking (thanks to the Blue for turning me on to Serious Pig) so it wasn't a total wash. And I definitely made some lifelong friends, mostly from my program(s).
posted by Standard Orange at 11:46 PM on January 17, 2016

Going against the grain: Don't get a dog. Many people in this thread have talked about travel as a possibility. When I was in my early twenties my ex and I got a dog and suddenly we couldn't leave the house unless we took the dog and everything ended up revolving around the dog. The dog tied us (me) down to our house with no recourse. Kennels can be very expensive and occasionally nerve-wracking for the animal. YMMV. Maybe get one when you're in your upper 20s.

For my 2 cents: go to Burning Man (or something like it) to be a part of something bigger than you and your friend circle and work etc. Maybe a rally or march, or a volunteer trip, anything more active than just travel. There is a difference between traveling and immersion. Do it whole-hog in whatever way you choose to experience something completely different from your life now.
posted by nursegracer at 1:01 AM on January 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Which one? I lived like three lifetimes in my 20s.
posted by rhizome at 1:41 AM on January 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

one thing I totally don't regret was wasting my time in dingy nightclubs dancing. that was awesome, and greaty exercise! And as said above, it is a good time to really spend time with your friends doing silly stuff like inventing board games or making elaborate group halloween costumes. I didn't really start my career until late twenties, and I am so glad I took some time before that to faff around and have a good time.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:55 AM on January 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

I did a PhD in my 20s, and I spent most of my free time in my 20s doing academic work. And I'm glad now that I spent it that way.
posted by persona au gratin at 2:22 AM on January 18, 2016

Therapy! I didn't start till I was nearly 30. Unpacking my emotional baggage has been a huge investment in my future. It's helped me work through the fear that was holding me back from living the life I wanted. I am so glad I have done this work because I can feel the trajectory of my life shifting wih every empowered decision I make. The sooner the bettter! Also, I was also in grad school, and my therapist turned out to be a vital source of support when things got tough in the final year.
posted by PercussivePaul at 2:46 AM on January 18, 2016 [7 favorites]

Things I'm glad I did while I was in grad school:
--Spent a huge amount of time completely immersed in my work
--Took advantage of the free gym and healthcare
--Made friends who were not in grad school
--Got involved in the community (again, nothing to do with grad school)

Things I wish I had done more of:
--Focused harder on the parts of grad school that didn't come easy to me: grant writing and networking
--Taken more stats classes (my committee didn't require it and I had fun taking all kinds of courses more obviously related to my field, but in retrospect, I wish my stats skills were stronger)
--More exercise and more loving my body--I developed a chronic illness while in grad school (early 30s are murder that way) and I wish I had loved my body more while it was healthy. If you always wanted to run a marathon, don't assume you have the rest of your life to do so--you might not.
--Appreciated my grad school friends more. My non-grad school friends are wonderful people, but my grad school friends are colleagues for life who I see at every conference and are potential collaborators for the rest of my career.
posted by hydropsyche at 4:34 AM on January 18, 2016 [6 favorites]

I wish I'd spent less and saved more.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:12 AM on January 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

learn about small engine repair
learn to code
When I switched careers one of the nicest things I ended up doing was spending time being a tourist in my own city - I'd lived in NYC for three years at that point and hadn't had either the time or inclination to really enjoy things in it. You have some downtime and if you're in a city you haven't explored, take some long walks, go to museums that you've always intended to go to.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:49 AM on January 18, 2016

I wish I started rock climbing in my twenties (or early, really).

I've never regretted travelling. If you can work abroad for a year or two at some point, do that as well.
posted by backwards guitar at 5:59 AM on January 18, 2016

At the beach, learning to surf.
posted by mermayd at 6:23 AM on January 18, 2016

Learn to Contra Dance.
posted by jvilter at 6:30 AM on January 18, 2016

You never know what's the future holds for you physically, so now is the time to do the physically demanding stuff you dream of doing (travel, sky dive, surf, ect).

I recommend learning how to make money as a business (as opposed to an employee). Doesn't matter if you sell things on Etsy, Ebay or open an online business. Even if you become an employee for the rest of your working life, running a business yourself will give you a wider perspective on work, not to mention more possibilities of making money in the future.
posted by mirileh at 7:38 AM on January 18, 2016

l also spent 7 years of my 20's earning my Ph.D. I doubt I would have made it without other activities in my "free" time. Of course, there was really no such thing as free time...always more work to be done, something else to learn, etc. But I carved out the time to participate in unrelated activities that mattered to me. I began participating in the local art scene (mine is a science degree), entering my photography (sometimes Photomicrography) in shows and supplying a gallery with prints for sale. I started running 5 or 6 days a week and ended up running marathons and breaking a 5 minute mile. The stress relief was invaluable. I joined a rock-fusion band with some residents from the hospital and other grad students and had a major blast playing lots of university and hospital events, parties etc. We even got lots of airplay on the local radio station! Some of the best fun of my life and still the best friends of my life came from that band.
Whatever you do...FGS have some big time fun!!!
posted by txmon at 8:03 AM on January 18, 2016

Well I'm definitely not old enough to answer the question with any authority, but I'm actually quite glad that I've spent a good chunk of my free time for the past few years dating (especially online dating, and not just tinder). I've met so many people outside my social circle that I wouldn't have met otherwise (both dates and their friends), gone to all kinds of restaurants/concerts/activities that I would never have thought of myself, and gotten some really good stories.

Same goes for anything else that regularly brings you into contact with new strangers, I guess. I've been very lucky and happy to have met my craigslist roommates & friends of craigslist roommates, fellow volunteers (Political campaigns are great for this because volunteers tend to be people who take action about all kinds of things they believe in, which makes them interesting people. Plus having colleagues of radically different ages is awesome.), internship colleagues, people I met while traveling, etc etc.
posted by R a c h e l at 8:29 AM on January 18, 2016

I wish I'd been in bands and wish I'd picked up sewing (again, I'd learned in high school). Both of these things are more 'attractive' in your 20s. I also wish I had started running. I wish I'd hosted more dinner parties.

What I did do: went to a lot of shows and theater and movies, travelled a LOT usually alone, walked a ton in my city, went camping, spent time with friends, accepted unusual invitations, and I read a ton.
posted by vunder at 9:34 AM on January 18, 2016

I asked this question years ago to a wise older person. She said, "No matter what you do, you waste your 20s."

This have given me great solace during Netflix marathons.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 9:37 AM on January 18, 2016 [9 favorites]

I wish I'd spent more time delighting in being young rather than trying to be such a grown up. I wish I'd gone out with friends more, worn younger clothes, made bad choices, danced more, had more sex, and basically lived for myself. Picking up new skills is commendable, but you can do that your whole life. As you get older, you have more people depending on you (aging parents, possibly kids and partner). What I have to look back on is, well, some fun for sure, but very few crazy times. I wish I had more stories.
I looked back at your question and you asked for things that are interesting and productive. So let me rephrase: building a dynamic personality.
posted by Knowyournuts at 3:35 PM on January 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

A few things I wish I'd done with my free time in my 20s:

• therapy earlier, and more of it, plus reading books on CBT and ACT (but you have to find someone you click with and who feels trustworthy: the therapist I eventually saw in grad school was awesome, but I've also wasted a lot of time in a therapeutic relationship that was not helping; still, I wasted a lot of time just being down on myself and behaving in self-destructive ways without really understanding why or even that relating to things in a different way was possible)
• more consistent exercise and also meditation (both for their own sakes and because I have attention management issues and both of these things help)
• actually learning to balance my budget (ymmv but the way I do it now is to have one bank account for big fixed expenses like rent and savings and utilities, and one bank account for "everything else," so I know exactly when I'm spending within my means without having to actually go thru the tedium of balancing a checkbook; I got away without doing this my first couple of years when I was living in cheap subsidized housing but completely hit the wall when my rent went up to market rate and made a series of bad mistakes w/ e.g. credit cards as a result)
• done more artistic stuff (idk what inclinations you have in this area but looking back there were actually some opportunities for me to do things like, e.g., perform in a band at house parties, or play music at the local grad student dive... my excuse for not doing this was time commitment, but I think I also was afraid of looking bad/incompetent; I had a roommate who did theater productions on top of a PhD, as another example, and didn't regret the time spent on those at all; having some kind of creative outlet outside of your work is a really good idea imho)
• actually date people and pursue relationships (obviously not completely in your control, but in retrospect, I had a lot of BS excuses for 'opting out' of relationships like worrying about time/drama/conflict/etc and how that would affect my work, or thinking that it was a sort of temporary stage for most people who were there so why bother trying to start something that could end soon, or being frustrated that the lgbt dating pool wasn't very deep in my small town [these things were all plausible/true to some extent but I now realize they were also partly covers for deeper anxieties: see also therapy])
• taken more risks, especially when the stakes were not actually very high

A few things I did and don't regret:

• spent a lot of time developing and maintaining friendships within the university, and to some extent outside it (this is the main one for me — sometimes you don't click w/ ppl in your program, so you may have to go farther afield, but having academic friends who "get it" got me through some really challenging times; as a pdoc in a new-to-me large city I'm definitely finding that it is really easy to get socially isolated, which is not fun, or ideal from a mental health perspective)
• learned to cook in a sort of everyday way (i.e., not big "special occasion" fancy cooking to impress people; did this by joining a co-op)
• traveling, tho not necessarily in a "see the world" sort of way (tacking on travel to conferences is a good way to go for more extensive travel, but there's also just day trips where you can hop on a bus or even a bike and be somewhere a little different in a couple of hours; even a minor change of scene helps and those don't tend to cost $$$, which is important for the stipend-having among us)
• experimented with my personal appearance (no idea if this applies to you; entering grad school I had a lot of weird hangups about my appearance and about my body and about spending money/time on how I looked, but I ended up doing some research about fashion, found some stuff I liked, and changed the way I dressed, and that ended up being a nice thing to do for myself that flattered the body I already had without making me into a raging narcissist or a total dandy)
• some non-thesis-related creative stuff, even though I did much less than I think I could have

posted by en forme de poire at 4:43 PM on January 18, 2016

Oh yeah, also stats & math, I don't regret any time I spent learning more about those and wish I'd even done more. My advisor also has always said that she regrets not taking more classes where she just aimed for a B (you could also take stuff pass-fail); at least in my department grad students could take classes in whatever for free and I definitely wish I'd taken fuller advantage of that. There's also informal self-study; a few friends and I did that with a stats text, where we'd alternate teaching each other the material (teaching stuff is a great way to learn it, of course).
posted by en forme de poire at 4:46 PM on January 18, 2016

I'll split this in two: what to do in your 20s and who to be in your 30s.

To enjoy your 20s:

• Commit to doing, eating, drinking and seeing something new every week.
• Make sure your main hobby is something to talk about in the pub, and that it isn't "going to the pub"
• Be a joiner. If someone says "do you want to ... ?", make "yes!" the default answer. It will generally be OK.

To prepare for your 30s:

• Exercise! I wasn't completely sedentary, but I now wish I'd prioritised it more. Aim to hit 30 fit.
• Read difficult books; most people have kids at some point, and if you're one of them, you will have less time and brainpower to do it.
• Relatedly, this is an excellent time to pick up any skills you want to be good at when you're in your 30s. Make a list and choose something. Don't forget languages, because they don't get any easier.
• Get into the habit of staying in touch with friends, and be the first to write the email or call. Particularly for men, this can fall by the wayside.
• Save money. If things don't go according to plan, or even if you don't have a plan, it can buy you time.

posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 5:54 AM on January 19, 2016

Tweaking my university days, in retrospect:

Pursue a black belt in a martial art (Aikido was the most fun for me, but I was hard-headed).

Work seriously on guitar, chord theory, key structure, tabs and sight reading; find a group of amateur performers.

Write essays or op-eds for the local paper (or what-have-you); learn to say it in 100 words. Discover how a paragraph is like the chorus in a song. Read histories and biographies as well as genre fiction, because one is useless without the other.

Accrue a nest egg reserved for travel during breaks. The trip needn't be long, vast, or expensive; just work it for what it has to show. Take notes, but only a few photos. (This is for your own internal housekeeping, not necessarily to thrill your friends. A skill I wish I'd had in those days was a grip on how to take notes, so I could write anecdotes about certain events. Sometimes the meaning of an event takes years to present itself.)

Spend a some breaks doing solo back country hikes. Learn basic woodcraft and orienteering, so you can find those magic places. This is a process with a learning curve; adventures are best enjoyed if you have some useful skills. (Take the backpacker-sized guitar with you, and worry less about covering ground than finding an enchanted cirque with a snow pond and cosmic acoustics. Use your camera sparingly.)

Work on your handwriting. Seriously.

Perusing this thread, I can see how learning to cook would have served me well, but, alas, I never got above the bag of nuts and a protein bar level.

Enjoy your twenties, and your thirties will be amazing.
posted by mule98J at 9:01 AM on January 19, 2016

All the above - travel, study, music, socializing, being carefree and unlimited - for sure. But I don't see why any of those necessarily have to stop as youth recedes.

I regret now, however, that I didn't exercise more, smoke and drink less, and made the utmost of the trainable and adaptable young body that I wish I still had. No getting that back. If I had my time again I'd have danced a lot more.
posted by normy at 12:06 PM on January 19, 2016

Oh yeah, handwriting! It's such a weird silly thing, but it made me excited about taking notes (nerrrrd) because I could actually look back at them and understand them. Seminars were a great time to practice. I chose to learn a variant of italics.

The other thing I'd say is learning semi-practical DIY/crafty skills (sewing, brewing, one of my friends got into carpentry) because especially if you persist in academia for a while, it is really nice to be able to have some luxuries on a stipend budget, and the experience of making steady progress towards a physical object can be a really nice counterweight to the academic world of abstraction and constant, unavoidable failure. (And whatever you make is also relatively ethically sourced since the only person whose labor was exploited was you!) That kind of stuff is also well-suited to intermittent periods of availability.
posted by en forme de poire at 12:52 PM on January 19, 2016