An epic
June 2, 2015 2:37 PM   Subscribe

I am visiting my friend in St. Paul, MN. We have absolutely nothing planned for the next few days and we had the idea that we would try to add some epic feats of laziness in with our general hanging out. Do you have any suggestions?

The one idea we've come up with so far is to make up a very elaborate Bachelor drinking game and try to make our way through an entire season.

We're also planning to go float in one of those sensory deprivation tanks, maybe see a laser show, and drink sangria on the roof, but I like the sort of endurance-feat aspect of the Bachelor idea.

Any suggestions?
posted by pretentious illiterate to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (12 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Why not just go to Hidden Beach and lay in the shady sand for 8 hours or so with the rest of the drunk and high beach goers? (Go to Hidden not Calhoun for real laziness, and if you just have shorts and no suit that's ok
at Hidden. And yes it's hard to get to from St Paul.)
Or stare at the city view from Mound Park for a few hours?
Drink the day away on a bar patio with happy hour prices?
posted by littlewater at 2:54 PM on June 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Hahahaha! I just got sucked in reading the yelp reviews for Hidden Beach:

Hysterical - if I was in St. Paul it would a must visit just based on the reviews. Seems as though there might even be some sand underneath the cigarette butts and trash :)
posted by Funmonkey1 at 3:02 PM on June 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Lord of the Rings, extended editions, back to back to back. Snacks and other consumables as appropriate.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:12 PM on June 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Best answer: 1. Pick a bar with a great pinball machine.
2. Don't leave until one of you enters your initials on the high-score list of the machine.
3. Re-live the glory even after you leave ... your friend will continue to pop back to the place periodically to see how long before your score is bumped off the list.
posted by jimmereeno at 4:14 PM on June 2, 2015 [5 favorites]

Best answer: I like the idea of not being able to leave Location X until you've got a legit hi score.

But also, if you've never experienced a legit iso tank and can find one in Minneapolis, YOU SHOULD DO THAT. Not only should you do it, you should try to get into the spirit of the thing and really engage yourself with it in some way. When I was around 20, a friend and I managed to find a very new age spa that offered iso tank sessions and--inspired by Altered States--ate some weed cookies and went for it. I WAS UNPREPARED. It was quite surreal, occasionally in a scary way (but you can always reach out and touch the chamber walls if you get freaked). There were long periods where I felt very truly like I was profoundly isolated with a huge amount of depth beneath me. 10/10. DO IT.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:21 PM on June 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Catch the first showing of the day of any movie. Then stay in the theatre until you have watched all the movies. Bring your own snacks. Repeated trips to the snack bar could tip them off to your squatting.
posted by myselfasme at 4:25 PM on June 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

An entire season of 24. Wonder how they never go to the bathroom.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 5:06 PM on June 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Go to Glam Doll donuts in Minneapolis.. It's retro 50's inside and serve things like bacon topped apple fritters.
posted by Kestrelxo at 5:41 PM on June 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

If 'the next few days' includes Sunday, and you have any sports interests:
Find copies of as many World Series as you can find, or alternatively find live games on TV. Base hit, sip a beer. Double, drink a shot. Et cetera. Then, come Sunday, the Brewers are in town. Ride the light rail to the game for the afternoon. Get there early to grab some local brews, relax in the sun and catch some batting practice, and watch a certain MeFite make a fool of myself himself throwing out the first pitch.
posted by SquidLips at 8:28 PM on June 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Go to the Blue Door Pub at Selby & Fairview in St. Paul when they open, and have breakfast. Stay until they close, and run up a huge-ass tab. Tip generously, and let them know your plan. (When I am in town, my brothers & I have stayed until they finished mopping around our feet because they are pretty cool people.)
posted by wenestvedt at 8:17 AM on June 3, 2015

I just happened across this Buzzfeed list of amazing lazies. This is a bit different than your take on laziness, but if you wish to pay a lazy homage, these will give you some ideas. (Props esp to whoever ate around the sticker on their apple.)
posted by mermaidcafe at 3:25 PM on June 3, 2015

Response by poster: You guys are great. As some of you may have been able to tell, this question was written in a not-entirely-sober state of mind, and our ambitions and belief in our epic laziness diminished a bit once the smoke cleared. Still, we watched half a season of The Bachelor, got pretty far into a 1000 piece puzzle, ate a lot and hung out a lot, and did the isolation tank experience which was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I wholeheartedly recommend it. Thanks, guys!
posted by pretentious illiterate at 10:47 AM on June 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

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