Paging Dr Seuss
October 23, 2013 2:38 AM   Subscribe

I need to craft a Seuss-like ditty for the gift portion of a baby shower invitation, but my rhyming skills have deserted me. Could you, would you, with a goat? Would you, could you, on a boat?

I am throwing a Seuss-themed shower for my friend who is pregnant with twins. I've crafted Seuss-like rhymes for the invitation, the games, the thank-yous, the banners... and now at the last hurdle my brain is well and truly melted.

Here is example wording from the invitation:

You could not, would not
want to miss
a celebration such as this!

Please join us before
they make their debut
at a shower to welcome
Twin 1 and Twin 2.


Everyone is asked to bring a pack of diapers to enter a diaper raffle, and additional gifts are totally optional. Typically, similarly themed invitations include the addendum:

Oh me, oh my,
is there something else you wish to buy?


In this case, I want to a) avoid the word "buy" and b) communicate that new or used or hand-me-down gifts are totally cool and welcome.

I've got...

Is there something else you wish to bring?
The twins will love everything!
New or used, it matters not;
Something something rhymes with not...


This totally does not work and I'm hoping someone else can fix this for me! Something that works with this or a totally new construction is great. Thanks!
posted by DarlingBri to Writing & Language (13 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Bring something used! Bring something new!
Just bring yourself, the gift of you!
posted by drlith at 2:55 AM on October 23, 2013 [19 favorites]


Is there something else you wish to bring?
The twins will love every little thing!
New or used, it doesn't matter
Having you there makes all things better.
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:00 AM on October 23, 2013


There’s something else you wish to bring?
The twins can use ‘most anything!
New or old, it matters not,
1 and 2 won’t care a jot.



Oh dearie me and lackaday,
I'll now be in this mode all day.
posted by Grunyon at 3:05 AM on October 23, 2013 [12 favorites]


Fortunately a mefite once nailed on the blue the distinction between the meter Seuss used and the meter that people often carelessly use when they try to write a Seuss pastiche.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:33 AM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


When Dr. Seuss couldn't think of a word, he just made one up.

Something along the lines of:

New or used, it matters not,
A rattle or a speetleblot.
posted by jozxyqk at 4:50 AM on October 23, 2013 [12 favorites]


Something else you wish to bring?
The twins will love just everything!
New or used, it matters not;
It's good to get what you haven't got.

posted by Segundus at 5:12 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah I think it's actually helpful when writing any sort of verse to keep the meter in mind. Anapests ("da-da-DUM") are sort of inherently lighthearted and inviting which seems to be the right tone here, plus the three-syllable base unit gives you more space to move things around compared to meters based on twos. Again, this is technical but in my experience it's actually easier to write even casually if you've sort of got the rhythm laid out in front of you, then you already know where all the pieces need to fit. The trick then is figuring out what those pieces should look like...

But hey much for the poetry nerdout, here's what I could come up with on a whim:
Should you have things that you might wish to bring
Do not hesitate: they will love everything
Whether its new or not, they will not mind
The twins will be glad with whatever you find
If you really want to go the extra mile you can apply this meter to the rest of the text as well; then top of my head you could have things like
You're WARM-ly in-VI-ted to COME ce-le-BRATE
or
TWICE as much BA-by means TWO times the FUN
Note that with anapests, at the start of a line you usually don't need to always have two unstressed syllables. E.g. in my attempt "should" is stressed but should you want to rework it or use it as a starting point or whatever, note you could easily add something like "and" or even "and then" before "should" and it'd still scan fine.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:32 AM on October 23, 2013


Love the "speetleblots" one.
Since you're alluding to actual, much loved Seuss lines elsewhere (Twin 1 and Twin 2 is great) you might as well go for the line from One Fish Two Fish that keeps popping into my mind with this question.
So maybe after speetleblots (if you go in that direction) you could add the actual lines from Seuss:

Yes. Some are red and some are blue,
Some are old and some are new.
posted by third rail at 6:04 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


And if you should desire to bring something more
There is just simply nothing the twins won't adore
Whether store-bought or hand-made or used or brand new
But the most precious gift you can bring is- just you!
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:27 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Is there something else you wish to bring?
The twins will love most everything!
New or used, it doesn't matter;
Just as long as it can't shatter.
posted by Dansaman at 8:08 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Feel free to bring anything else if you wish
From hand-me-down clothes to a shiny new fish.
Okay, not a fish. But Twin One and Twin Two
Are sure to love anything*, passed on or new.

*that isn't a fish
posted by Redstart at 8:08 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


From there to here and here to there
babies are loved everywhere!

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten
Twice as many of them!

Little babes have many needs
so to keep their parents up to speed,
bring diapers, snot suckers, toys for fun!
Bring sleepsacks, thneeds, and extra thumbs!

Oh my! Fingers, toes, legs, and feet,
babies really are quite neat.
Caring for them is a breeze,
except for when they poop and sneeze.

So let's avoid some of those trappings
with super wonderful diaper wrappings.
Wrap up their bums, their legs, their hands!
If they get too hot, they might need a fan.

Wipes will be very useful, so they say,
to keep the stinky stinks at bay.
Mittens, gloves, sweaters, hats
for going sledding with a yak.

Decades old or just band new,
what you bring is up to you!
posted by zizzle at 10:09 AM on October 23, 2013


You guys are the best! Thanks so much; these have gone off now and I'm really grateful for your communal mad rhyming efforts :)

(And yes, I know my Dr Seuss skills lack technical proficiency, but it's a fun and silly thing and it's all good.)
posted by DarlingBri at 10:35 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


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