How do I teach my children to swim? Help me be a better swimming teacher
July 16, 2013 8:02 AM Subscribe
I have two little boys ages 5 and 3. The five-year old won't put his face in the water, so it is hard to teach him to swim correctly. The younger one is just starting to go in the water, so I would like to do what I can to make him comfortable. What advice can you give me to help teach my children to swim? How can I help my older one get over his dislike of water in the face?
I live with two little boys, ages 5 and 3. We recently moved to a new community where the social life centers around the community pool. We have been working on getting the older boy to swim for quite a while. He has been taking lessons once a week over the winter for 45 minutes since he was about 2 and a half. He is happy in the water as long as he can stand or has flotation, but he really hates to get his face in the water so getting him to swim is hard, as he keeps his head up all the time. I have tried offering rewards, and he has had his face in the water by accident and realizes it isn't a disaster, but he still refuses to even try it. I am getting him some goggles, but he hasn't liked them in the past (though kids do change).
The younger child is happy as long as he can stand or cling to me in the water. I'd like to help him swim. Many of the children in our neighborhood seem to be swimming at 4, so it seems possible.
Any ideas? Book or website recommendations? Exercises? We can get lessons at the pool from the neighborhood teens who are lifeguards, if needed, but scheduling is hard. I can take them to the pool relatively frequently myself until it closes at the end of the summer.
I live with two little boys, ages 5 and 3. We recently moved to a new community where the social life centers around the community pool. We have been working on getting the older boy to swim for quite a while. He has been taking lessons once a week over the winter for 45 minutes since he was about 2 and a half. He is happy in the water as long as he can stand or has flotation, but he really hates to get his face in the water so getting him to swim is hard, as he keeps his head up all the time. I have tried offering rewards, and he has had his face in the water by accident and realizes it isn't a disaster, but he still refuses to even try it. I am getting him some goggles, but he hasn't liked them in the past (though kids do change).
The younger child is happy as long as he can stand or cling to me in the water. I'd like to help him swim. Many of the children in our neighborhood seem to be swimming at 4, so it seems possible.
Any ideas? Book or website recommendations? Exercises? We can get lessons at the pool from the neighborhood teens who are lifeguards, if needed, but scheduling is hard. I can take them to the pool relatively frequently myself until it closes at the end of the summer.
I agree with logndasjourney that having them race to see who can get something at the bottom of the pool first is fun and a great way to get them to start swimming more. Maybe start with a purpose-built weighted pool toy instead of dimes. Dimes are hard to pick up, especially by such little kids.
He might also enjoy playing with a full set of snorkel gear. Obviously that comes with its own complications (for instance, I find breathing with a snorkel terrifying), but the face mask goggles and snorkel combo might be just exciting enough to get him over the face-in-the-water hump.
posted by phunniemee at 8:13 AM on July 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
He might also enjoy playing with a full set of snorkel gear. Obviously that comes with its own complications (for instance, I find breathing with a snorkel terrifying), but the face mask goggles and snorkel combo might be just exciting enough to get him over the face-in-the-water hump.
posted by phunniemee at 8:13 AM on July 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
It took me a very long time to be willing to put my face in the water; I remember I used to splash my face to pretend I had gotten it wet. I eventually grew out of this, probably because my 4.5 years younger sister (who was more athletic and more fearless) was getting ahead of me, but possibly to keep up with my friends. I'd keep your kids in lessons -- though possibly you want a new teacher for the older one, and please listen to your kids' preferences about teachers. But these are problems that will solve themselves shortly as all their friends do things and they want to be involved, so if your kids have the push back tendency, just let it be.
posted by jeather at 8:15 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by jeather at 8:15 AM on July 16, 2013
I seem to recall my instructor asking us to lower our faces enough to blow bubbles with our mouths.
1. Take a deep breath
2. Bend knees until just your top lip is under the water.
3. Blow bubbles!!!
4. Straighten legs
5. Repeat!
posted by royalsong at 8:21 AM on July 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
1. Take a deep breath
2. Bend knees until just your top lip is under the water.
3. Blow bubbles!!!
4. Straighten legs
5. Repeat!
posted by royalsong at 8:21 AM on July 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Stand in the water. have them stand outside the pool and jump to you, so that their head goes under, but you pull them up right away. Repeat. Eventually you'll want to move a little away from them, so that they actually have to kick/paddle to get to you - even if it's just a few inches at first.
Water wings are also handy - they'll feel a little safer, but they can kick and paddle around and get used to the water. The jumping thing is mostly to get them used to having their head submerged.
posted by backwards guitar at 8:25 AM on July 16, 2013
Water wings are also handy - they'll feel a little safer, but they can kick and paddle around and get used to the water. The jumping thing is mostly to get them used to having their head submerged.
posted by backwards guitar at 8:25 AM on July 16, 2013
When I was a kid I had the same problem, and then at first I would only put my face in with my eyes tightly shut and nose plugged. I still didn't swim with my face in, but my dad taught me the breaststroke because there is less splashing and less of your face touches the water. If you can find a quiet time in the pool so that the setting is controlled, maybe you can work towards that? If you can find out whether its getting water in his eyes, or in his nose that are the problem, that might also lead you to a solution.
He also might just be so worked up over the idea generally, since he's had so many swim lessons and it's been such a big issue, that it might help to let it go for a while.
posted by lookoutbelow at 8:25 AM on July 16, 2013
He also might just be so worked up over the idea generally, since he's had so many swim lessons and it's been such a big issue, that it might help to let it go for a while.
posted by lookoutbelow at 8:25 AM on July 16, 2013
If you've had your eldest taking lessons for years and he still isn't comfortable putting his face in the water then it is time to switch instructors.
I know that lots of instructors say not to use goggles, but goggles help the kids feel more confident about putting their faces in. If you're stuck at that point, all the reasons for going no-goggle don't apply to your child. I am working on this very same issue and just had a huge breakthrough last month. We went to the store and picked out fancy-schmancy goggles. Once in the pool, I put mine on, she put hers on and we made silly faces at each other under the water. I hold up fingers under water and she tells me how many. Seriously, goggles.
We have also found that peer pressure can be a force for good. We have had a bunch of swimmers from her dayschool come over and swim with us. Once she saw all of the other kids swimming like fish, she became super motivated during her lessons. Another thing about lessons- 45 minutes is a long, long time for a 3-5 year old. 20-25 minutes of one on one instruction seems to be the sweet spot.
Best of Luck!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 8:34 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I know that lots of instructors say not to use goggles, but goggles help the kids feel more confident about putting their faces in. If you're stuck at that point, all the reasons for going no-goggle don't apply to your child. I am working on this very same issue and just had a huge breakthrough last month. We went to the store and picked out fancy-schmancy goggles. Once in the pool, I put mine on, she put hers on and we made silly faces at each other under the water. I hold up fingers under water and she tells me how many. Seriously, goggles.
We have also found that peer pressure can be a force for good. We have had a bunch of swimmers from her dayschool come over and swim with us. Once she saw all of the other kids swimming like fish, she became super motivated during her lessons. Another thing about lessons- 45 minutes is a long, long time for a 3-5 year old. 20-25 minutes of one on one instruction seems to be the sweet spot.
Best of Luck!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 8:34 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
It might not be nerves. Kids usually have a good reason for these things, even if it's inexplicable kid logic. Maybe he has seen other kids held under, or water goes up his nose and burns, or... who knows. At that age I didn't want to go to the eye doctor because I didn't want them to do to me whatever they'd done to a blind girl at my daycare.
Also, water wings were more of a hindrance to me than a help, but YMMV.
posted by heatherfl at 8:36 AM on July 16, 2013
Also, water wings were more of a hindrance to me than a help, but YMMV.
posted by heatherfl at 8:36 AM on July 16, 2013
I favor the gradual approach and agree with royalsong's idea about blowing bubbles. Once they get used to that, they'll go a little further into the water, and at that point they might take more interest in or liking to the goggles. I wouldn't push them faster than they are ready for because that might just cause a setback. Get them in the water as frequently as possible so they become more and more comfortable in the water. You could hold off on lessons if you want to see if they develop more comfort in the water with frequent exposure.
posted by Dansaman at 8:36 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by Dansaman at 8:36 AM on July 16, 2013
Response by poster: Not to threadsit, but some notes:
- I hope I don't sound high pressure - we are not. We go play, we hang out, etc. Swimming lessons are similarly low-pressure, more about games and play and comfort than formal instruction. The instructors rotate, so he has had different instructors there. Just want him to be able to play with his peers at our new place.
- We are working on blowing bubbles and he will with his mouth, but not his nose, or at least not for more than a moment. He panics a bit if water gets in his face, and keeps his eyes closed for a while or until someone wipes them out.
The younger one will jump to me, so I'll try letting his head go in a bit, briefly. Googles are on the way.
posted by carpographer at 8:44 AM on July 16, 2013
- I hope I don't sound high pressure - we are not. We go play, we hang out, etc. Swimming lessons are similarly low-pressure, more about games and play and comfort than formal instruction. The instructors rotate, so he has had different instructors there. Just want him to be able to play with his peers at our new place.
- We are working on blowing bubbles and he will with his mouth, but not his nose, or at least not for more than a moment. He panics a bit if water gets in his face, and keeps his eyes closed for a while or until someone wipes them out.
The younger one will jump to me, so I'll try letting his head go in a bit, briefly. Googles are on the way.
posted by carpographer at 8:44 AM on July 16, 2013
Lessons with other kids and another adult can often get my kids to try new things that they are reluctant to do with me. I don't know what it is. I ski, swim, bike and skate with my oldest all the time, and he has learned lots of stuff from me. But, sometimes to break a bad habit (e.g. skiing in a wedge) or to take that next step (jumping off the diving board) it's best if he has another adult show him or see some other kids doing it. His little sister seems a little better at taking direction from me, but, she's only 3.
posted by trbrts at 9:17 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by trbrts at 9:17 AM on July 16, 2013
I was like your kid. The lessons I had when I was a kid focused a lot on getting comfortable with putting my face in the water, breathing underwater, etc, and it freaked me out and I didn't want to do it, so I didn't learn how to swim until I was 11 years old.
As an adult I still don't really like getting water in my eyes and nose. However, I love swimming - backstroke!
If I were your kid and I was getting the message that it was 100% AOK if I only wanted to backstroke and float around on my back, I think I would be more excited about learning how to swim.
posted by capricorn at 9:37 AM on July 16, 2013
As an adult I still don't really like getting water in my eyes and nose. However, I love swimming - backstroke!
If I were your kid and I was getting the message that it was 100% AOK if I only wanted to backstroke and float around on my back, I think I would be more excited about learning how to swim.
posted by capricorn at 9:37 AM on July 16, 2013
Btw I'm not saying that underwater breathing isn't a valuable skill, it is, and your kid needs to know how to be safe in the water, but I think that it might help to teach swimming skills in the opposite direction i.e. backstroke/floating first and THEN teaching underwater breathing once the kid is already comfortable in the water.
posted by capricorn at 9:39 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by capricorn at 9:39 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
(And I'll stop spamming this thread now but obviously by "underwater breathing" I mean blowing bubbles using nose.)
posted by capricorn at 9:40 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by capricorn at 9:40 AM on July 16, 2013
You might try a kid sized snorkle set in the bathtub. The size of the pool might be contributing to his uneasiness along with the whole "I can't breath underwater thing". Just looking at interesting things on the bottom of the pool and watching you dive for them might help encourage him.
posted by cairnoflore at 9:51 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by cairnoflore at 9:51 AM on July 16, 2013
My mom put pieces of candy on the bottom of the pool to get me to put my face in the water and retrieve them.
From what I recall, I hated getting chlorinated water in my eyes and nose, as it burned. And I hated swimming underwater as I had to close my eyes and couldn't see anything, so I couldn't orient myself. While I still hate to get my face wet or splashed on if I'm just hanging out in a pool, I'm now fine paddling around with my head underwater if I've got a snorkel and a mask that goes over my nose (that last part is key!).
posted by telophase at 10:13 AM on July 16, 2013
From what I recall, I hated getting chlorinated water in my eyes and nose, as it burned. And I hated swimming underwater as I had to close my eyes and couldn't see anything, so I couldn't orient myself. While I still hate to get my face wet or splashed on if I'm just hanging out in a pool, I'm now fine paddling around with my head underwater if I've got a snorkel and a mask that goes over my nose (that last part is key!).
posted by telophase at 10:13 AM on July 16, 2013
Swimming is fun, and it's a capability that can save your life, but at 5, I'd just go play in the water, and let the actual skill wait. I used to take my son to a pool, and he was uneasy about getting his face wet. We played lots of games what involved finding a thrown toy - some toys that floated, and others that didn't. Lots of playing with a kickboard and riding on my back. It also helped when friends of his came along who loved the water - seeing them jump right in helped. He really learned to swim when his kindergarten went to a pool weekly and got lessons. He's a good strong swimmer now.
posted by theora55 at 10:15 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by theora55 at 10:15 AM on July 16, 2013
Maybe the goggles he tried before didn't fit properly, I've come across some that have cups small enough to enter my eye sockets, which is very unpleasant.
A nose clip might also be useful.
it is hard to teach him to swim correctly
Unless he's going to be competing in swim races, he doesn't have to swim "correctly". Sidestroke, dogpaddle, backstroke -- these are all ways to enjoy swimming in a pool without having your face in the water.
posted by yohko at 10:55 AM on July 16, 2013
A nose clip might also be useful.
it is hard to teach him to swim correctly
Unless he's going to be competing in swim races, he doesn't have to swim "correctly". Sidestroke, dogpaddle, backstroke -- these are all ways to enjoy swimming in a pool without having your face in the water.
posted by yohko at 10:55 AM on July 16, 2013
Wild guess, but have you tried offering him earplugs? When I was that age I wasn't worried about water in my nose and eyes as much as water in my ears. Still hate it.
posted by ostro at 11:32 AM on July 16, 2013
posted by ostro at 11:32 AM on July 16, 2013
"Hey, son. I know you really like to swim, and you really want to get good at it, but I also know that you hate getting your face wet, and that's going to keep you from having the most fun when you swim. I have an idea: what if we practice every day? Not going in the pool or swimming; just getting water on your face. We can start with a little spray when you're in the bath, and every time we'll just spray you a little bit longer until you get used to it, then we can see if that helps. What do you think?"
I've found that kids of that age who are fearful of something, or just don't like something, respond well if you offer them something that sounds like a clever way for them to make the fear/dislike go away without having to face it directly. You make the offer, they almost always turn it down, and then when you're in the bath you ask "hey, by the way, did you want to try the spraying thing today?" and respect their choice ("okay, I'll ask you again tomorrow.")
Ultimately you're giving them control of the choice, and making them feel like they're being clever and getting away with something, and kids love both of those things.
posted by davejay at 11:48 AM on July 16, 2013
I've found that kids of that age who are fearful of something, or just don't like something, respond well if you offer them something that sounds like a clever way for them to make the fear/dislike go away without having to face it directly. You make the offer, they almost always turn it down, and then when you're in the bath you ask "hey, by the way, did you want to try the spraying thing today?" and respect their choice ("okay, I'll ask you again tomorrow.")
Ultimately you're giving them control of the choice, and making them feel like they're being clever and getting away with something, and kids love both of those things.
posted by davejay at 11:48 AM on July 16, 2013
I was a swim instructor, and I had kids like this all the time. I'd start with offering the following, one at a time: googles, earplugs, nose plug. He may find that he doesn't feel the same way with one or more of those. I was on a competitive swim team for 10 years and did synchronised swimming, and I've never once opened my eyes underwater without goggles on. If I have my preference, I'd always use a nose plug too. I'd consider earplugs if I could find some that would stay in.
If any of those work, awesome. Proceed with the swimming. Otherwise, I'd switch instructors. Find someone who can make a game out of it, and will gradually increase the situations where he's more likely to get water on his face and/or put his face under. I spent a lot of time with kids holding on to inflatable animals that also tended to splash their faces as they were towed. It desensitises them a little bit to that feeling, and often, kids found that they didn't actually mind.
One thing is for sure: you don't want to force him. It sounds like this is a panic response, either triggered by what he thinks will happen, or something that has happened when he has his face underwater. I think the best you can do is take the pressure off, offer goggles/plugs, see if you can make it a game (or find an instructor who can) and let him do what he needs to. He will get to a point where he can articulate better his reasoning, or he'll grow out of it.
Good luck.
posted by guster4lovers at 11:59 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
If any of those work, awesome. Proceed with the swimming. Otherwise, I'd switch instructors. Find someone who can make a game out of it, and will gradually increase the situations where he's more likely to get water on his face and/or put his face under. I spent a lot of time with kids holding on to inflatable animals that also tended to splash their faces as they were towed. It desensitises them a little bit to that feeling, and often, kids found that they didn't actually mind.
One thing is for sure: you don't want to force him. It sounds like this is a panic response, either triggered by what he thinks will happen, or something that has happened when he has his face underwater. I think the best you can do is take the pressure off, offer goggles/plugs, see if you can make it a game (or find an instructor who can) and let him do what he needs to. He will get to a point where he can articulate better his reasoning, or he'll grow out of it.
Good luck.
posted by guster4lovers at 11:59 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I have seen the local kid swim instructor have the child gradually lower his face toward the water for the blowing bubbles exercise. Like, first, blow at the water from standing, then blow with face/body bent a little closer to the pool surface, then--and this seemed to be the key part--blow with face in the water that is held cupped in the parent's hand *above* the pool surface line, then gradually closer and closer bending the head and blowing those bubbles until those cupped hands are actually in the pool water.
posted by rabidsegue at 12:22 PM on July 16, 2013
posted by rabidsegue at 12:22 PM on July 16, 2013
Could you get a small safe kick-board? I have seen new swimmers clinging happily to these and slowly getting the courage to let go of them.
posted by meepmeow at 1:11 PM on July 16, 2013
posted by meepmeow at 1:11 PM on July 16, 2013
nthing use of a diving mask - best with great field of vision plus a simple snorkel; we used these with our sons when they were 3 (albeit at the seaside, where there's amazing stuff to look at underwater), and they just floated off, then swam around to change the view, floated some more, swam around and came back after twenty minutes - without having learned to swim at all.
posted by progosk at 3:33 PM on July 16, 2013
posted by progosk at 3:33 PM on July 16, 2013
Even as an adult, I dislike having
my eyes open underwater. As a kid, I HATED it and refused to put my face in the water. The second-hand, badly-fitting goggles I had access to felt like the sword of damocles, because they tended to flood at unexpected moments.
I dealt with it by coming up with my own breaststroke/dogpaddle hybrid that made me look ridiculous, but allowed me to swim with my head above water indefinitely. My parents were reassured that I wasn't going to drown and I was reassured that getting chemicals in your eyes wasn't a required part of the swimming experience.
I didn't bother opening my eyes underwater or swimming elegantly until I hit puberty and suddenly wanted to impress boys at the pool.
posted by the latin mouse at 3:45 PM on July 16, 2013
my eyes open underwater. As a kid, I HATED it and refused to put my face in the water. The second-hand, badly-fitting goggles I had access to felt like the sword of damocles, because they tended to flood at unexpected moments.
I dealt with it by coming up with my own breaststroke/dogpaddle hybrid that made me look ridiculous, but allowed me to swim with my head above water indefinitely. My parents were reassured that I wasn't going to drown and I was reassured that getting chemicals in your eyes wasn't a required part of the swimming experience.
I didn't bother opening my eyes underwater or swimming elegantly until I hit puberty and suddenly wanted to impress boys at the pool.
posted by the latin mouse at 3:45 PM on July 16, 2013
I just went through this with my 5-yr-old. He started out with a bigger floaty that supported his chest and arms. We also gave him a mask and a snorkel. I let him mess around for a few weeks getting more and more comfortable.
Then as he was feeling better, we traded the floaty out for a swim belt. We have slowly been removing sections--started with four, now he's down to two--but have also been practicing swimming without it. He can keep himself up for several seconds now and is now down to just a mask, and even that only sometimes. Earlier in the summer he wouldn't put his face underwater; now he's jumping in the deep end (with the belt on).
posted by wallaby at 4:19 PM on July 16, 2013
Then as he was feeling better, we traded the floaty out for a swim belt. We have slowly been removing sections--started with four, now he's down to two--but have also been practicing swimming without it. He can keep himself up for several seconds now and is now down to just a mask, and even that only sometimes. Earlier in the summer he wouldn't put his face underwater; now he's jumping in the deep end (with the belt on).
posted by wallaby at 4:19 PM on July 16, 2013
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My parents would throw pennies and dimes in the shallow end of the pool and me and my two siblings would race to be the first to dive down and pick them up.
Stupid and simple, but it turned us into extremely happy and confident swimmers in the water. I would get some other kids around the same age involved (assuming their parents are ok with it) - it is amazing what a little friendly competition can do to get kids to try new things.
posted by longdaysjourney at 8:09 AM on July 16, 2013 [1 favorite]