Trying to track down the source of an annoying verbal tic

June 24, 2013 12:34 PM

The past year or two I've noticed a dramatic uptick in "I was gonna say…" as a conversational prefix. Especially when used to try to take credit or trump a previous comment. (Example below) I think it's intended to mean "I agree", but it always comes across as "I'ma let you finish…" Have you come across this? Did it spontaneously generate, or is there a popular culture origin?

Example:

A: "Wow, I'm amazed he wasn't hurt!"
B: "I was gonna say he was super lucky."
or
A: "This soup is delicious!"
B: "I was gonna say it's fantastic."

I've heard it from people from different parts of the US, usually women. From the people I hear use it, I wonder if it's not from by a daytime TV show host, but that's not research I'm prepared to do.

Alternately: Is it completely my imagination?

(I'm pretty sure this isn't properly called a tic, but I don't know a better name for it.)

posted by Ookseer to Writing & Language (23 answers total)

Observations like this are very frequently influenced by the Recency Illusion.
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:39 PM on June 24, 2013 [7 favorites]

I grew up in coastal NJ between NY and Phila. We used a variation of this: "I was getting ready to say." To my ear, it used to have the tinge of a joke about it - the speaking of an honest truth, as in, "if somebody else didn't say it, I was gonna have to!"

Now that I think about even "I was gonna say," I don't think it's new. It feels very natural to me to say it in agreement and I realize that I already have an easy, fast pronunciation for it, so I've probably been using it most of life without ever particularly noticing.
posted by Miko at 12:44 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wish I could read French.... WordReference forums bring it up again here. Language Log comments on "just sayin'" lead to this dissertation with a whole section on "going to say" on Page 82.

I noticed she includes an "about to say" version, which I heard from my mother's generation. "I was about to say!"
posted by Miko at 12:48 PM on June 24, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think it's kind of like, "you took the words right out of my mouth!" – it's definitely a form of agreement. I've heard it my entire life from both genders.
posted by marimeko at 12:50 PM on June 24, 2013 [15 favorites]

I used to hear it in class all the time. Someone would get called on, "I was gonna say X." This was about 5 years ago now Shit, I'm getting old.

Annoys the crap out of me when there's not something to let me know why they didn't/aren't going to say it now. "I was gonna say I liked the color before the fire alarm went off" is fine.
posted by theichibun at 1:09 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah I've always heard (and probably said) this or some version of this. I have not noticed a recent increase in it, or the ruder inflection you mention. I've always understood/meant it like "Exactly!" or "I completely agree!" or "Aren't we both so smart to have the same thought about that!"

A similar phrase which it seems to me has increased somewhat in the past few years, though maybe now it's decreasing again, is "I know, right?"
posted by DestinationUnknown at 1:09 PM on June 24, 2013

Aww, I've said this forever (along with "I know, right") and am a little dismayed to see it being taken as rudeness. Nobody's ever taken offense before, and it doesn't sound rude to me at all when I hear others saying it. I'm not aware of any pop culture reference - it's not really a distinctive phrase or slang, just a normal sentence like "I was gonna go to the store to buy milk".

If it helps, it's definitely, definitely not intended to "trump" the previous comment, even in situations basically identical to the one you describe. It's simple agreement to me, with a bit of "high five, we're totally on the same wavelength, aren't we cool!"
posted by randomnity at 1:32 PM on June 24, 2013 [5 favorites]

I think it's kind of like, "you took the words right out of my mouth!" – it's definitely a form of agreement.

I've always understood/meant it like "Exactly!" or "I completely agree!"

I was gonna say...!

I admit to doing this. It's not intended as a form of oneupsmanship; if anything, it's got a deferential connotation along the lines of "you beat me to it, nice work" or "you said it so much better than I could have." And I only use it literally, i.e. when I'm actually thinking/about to say the exact same thing.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:40 PM on June 24, 2013 [6 favorites]

Have heard it since the 1970s.
posted by steinsaltz at 1:44 PM on June 24, 2013

FWIW, there is a version of this in my local Austrian German dialect („I wollt’ grad’ sagen“, which literally translates to “I just now wanted to say”), and I think it has been around for as long as I can remember. I’m pretty sure I have used it myself even if I didn’t literally plan to say what has been just said. So, clearly an informal idiom of agreement for me, and I suspect it can be used in the same way in English conversation.
posted by wachhundfisch at 1:48 PM on June 24, 2013

I've heard it all my life, but have never heard the offensive implication you're interpreting. I think you might be in the very small minority on the annoyance with it.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 2:14 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

I was gonna say ... what marimeko said.

But seriously, I'm from the Mid Atlantic region, growing up a bit south of Miko, and this is my experience as well: it's kind of like, "you took the words right out of my mouth!" – it's definitely a form of agreement. I've heard it my entire life from both genders.
posted by gudrun at 2:32 PM on June 24, 2013

People at my church say it during Bible studies and I've found it odd/annoying before.

The class leader will be talking and someone will raise their hand. The leader will finish what he was saying, then will call on the person raising their hand.

"Yes, John? Did you have something to add?"

"I was going to say, when we talk about God's love, blah blah blah."

It comes across (to me, anyway) as "I had to wait for you to finish your thought, and it took you so long to call on me that I almost forgot what I wanted to say."

----

That's admittedly a very specific situation that might not fall in line with what you were asking. But I've noticed it multiple times, and always in church.
posted by tacodave at 4:01 PM on June 24, 2013

For the anecdata bank: I use this phrase, like my mother before me, without anything after the word "say"—in other words, there's no one-upping or rephrasing of what the first speaker said, but just agreement, with the implication being "Yes, exactly!" or maybe "I know, seriously!" My mom and I say it with a strong emphasis on the last word: "I was gonna say!" (If anything, I think it conveys slight exasperation that nobody but yourself and the other person was willing to say this thing—but since it includes the first speaker in that circle of "the ones who were going to say it," I never took it as a negative implication.)
posted by honey wheat at 4:23 PM on June 24, 2013

Just a note because I think this needs to be said:

"I was going to say that!" is different from "I was going to say thing X" without any declaration as to why you're not just saying it now. Similar in structure. Different in context.

Where's Grammar Girl when you need her?
posted by theichibun at 4:27 PM on June 24, 2013

Response by poster: It's definitely been on the rise in my circle (people I've known for decades have only recently started to use it) so maybe it's just something that has recently entered and spread through my network. Maybe I'm the vector.

And as for me finding it annoying, I guess that's my own personal problem to deal with. Thanks for the perspective.
posted by Ookseer at 4:56 PM on June 24, 2013

I haven't noticed the "I was gonna say" thing, but I sure have noticed the rise of "I know, right?" It seems to be mostly a female thing, although Craig Ferguson has a variation he uses almost nightly: "I KNOW!"
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:50 PM on June 24, 2013

I can’t imagine how it’s rude, I’ve always used it and heard to mean "I was just about to say the same thing" or "I was thinking the same thing". And it’s been around as long as I have.
posted by bongo_x at 6:23 PM on June 24, 2013

I haven't noticed other people saying this but it's definitely a habit of mine, I always figured it's because I'm a little insecure about my intelligence and competitive in conversation. I can't stand that someone has beaten me to the chance to prove how observant I am!
posted by Lot's ex-girlfriend at 9:25 PM on June 24, 2013

When I first read the question, I thought it was in the context of two people starting to talk at once, then person A either finishing their statement or deferring to person B, and then person B saying "I was just gonna say..."

The implication there is "Before I was interrupted," although I think that's seldom the intention, and is more self-deprecation.

In the context being talked about here, I can't say I've noticed it much, yet.

("I know, right" has definitely become more popular, along with "Going forward," but funnily enough, I think they share completely different demographics.)
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 12:26 AM on June 25, 2013

I've also heard this very, very regularly when someone is interrupted:

Bill: "...then I took her to the lake."
Joan: "Which lake did--"
Sam: "How far did--sorry, go ahead Joan!"
Joan: "Oh, that's okay, I was just going to say, which lake did you tak her to?"
posted by wordsmith at 8:52 AM on June 25, 2013

I think it's innocent. I noticed it 30 years ago from a certain adult .. just an 'I agree.'
posted by LonnieK at 9:12 AM on June 25, 2013

I've heard it sometimes in situations like the class where the speaker had their hand raised. In those cases, when it's not an expression of agreement, I've always thought it refers to the fact that whatever they're about to say originated a little earlier. As if they've had their hand raised for a few minutes, or just had that idea in their head for some time before they said it. It's also a little bit insecure or deferential - "oh its not important, I was just going to say..."
posted by DestinationUnknown at 5:59 PM on June 26, 2013