How to double talk?

August 9, 2005 7:35 AM

How can I learn to doubletalk?

What I mean is, how do I learn to speak so that people believe I'm speaking normally but cannot understand what I'm saying.

Example here.

Google comes up surprisingly empty.

posted by null terminated to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (12 answers total)

Well, the approach of the politicians and PR people seems to be to have a prepared statement on a topic and respond with that statement when asked any question on the topic, regardless of whether it answers the question or not.

They can get away with this in some formal or public-speaking settings. But in a one-on-one conversation with a person who actually needs/wants a specific piece of information from you, they will know whether or not they have the information they need and they will still be standing in front of you. To get out of these situations, you'd need a much higher degree of dysfunctionality (e.g. insisting that the other person's lack of the desired information is their own fault).
posted by winston at 8:08 AM on August 9, 2005

Response by poster: winston: I don't mean as a way of lying, I mean as a fun card trick style bar game in a situation similar to the linked video above.
posted by null terminated at 8:11 AM on August 9, 2005

Response by poster: To clarify, I'm not trying to "doubletalk" in the political sense, but in the sense best exemplified by the video above (I'm not exactly sure what that is called)
posted by null terminated at 8:12 AM on August 9, 2005

It sounds like he throws in some gibberish after a couple of normal words, then completes the sentence again, normally. This would probably take some practice so it doesn't sound like you're a complete retard, although I'm sure in a personal setting, as opposed to live television, someone will call you out on it. And again, the guy in the video is a professional, of, er sorts.
posted by Blue Buddha at 8:18 AM on August 9, 2005

Professor Stanley Unwin used to do this as a comedy routine. Examples: audio, transcript.
posted by carter at 8:37 AM on August 9, 2005

Those are some awesome clips. This confirms my long-standing view that most people don't bother to understand what others are saying.
posted by grouse at 8:37 AM on August 9, 2005

I believe I've seen this covered in books for aspiring magicians trying to develop patter. No actual resources for you, though, sorry.
posted by desuetude at 9:02 AM on August 9, 2005

Never answer the question you're asked. Answer the question you WISH you'd been asked.
posted by jewzilla at 9:10 AM on August 9, 2005

No, don't answer any questions. Imagine you were educated at an English boarding school and are addressing a wicked all-powerful queen who will kill you if you express an opinion or offend her in any way.

So talk like Prince Charles, who through no fault of his own says things like, "I wouldn't be talking to you about this if I didn't think that I wasn't alone in my views."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:44 AM on August 9, 2005

Ask Durwood himself.
posted by abbyladybug at 9:49 AM on August 9, 2005

Sorry, point was his e-mail is at the top of the page.
posted by abbyladybug at 9:50 AM on August 9, 2005

Here's a college level program

http://www.netwalk.com/~laserlab/cocu.html
posted by jefeweiss at 12:02 PM on August 9, 2005