Spending My Time Wisely

January 19, 2012 6:36 AM

I have decided to take a year off from school in order to improve my health (in all aspects). The problem is that I have realized that I have already wasted so much time despite the fact that this new year has just begun. So, my question is: what are some activities that I can do in order to make use of my time despite certain factors? Note: snowflake details inside.

I have decided to take a year off from school in order to improve my health (in all aspects). I have struggled for several years and wasted a lot of my time in my bedroom listening to music and watching television shows. However, last year I finally realized that this was not the way to live and that things were finally catching up to me.

I spoke with a therapist and psychiatrist on campus last year (when I finally got help) and was told that I have dissociation and depersonalization/derealization because of past traumatic experiences and that I currently have anxiety and depression. Note: I'm currently still in therapy and taking medication too.

Last year I made the decision to take this year off from school in order to improve my health. This year has just begun, but I already feel like this was one of the best decisions that I have made in a while. The problem is that I don't leave the house unless I have to work which is about four times a week. But, otherwise it's very difficult for me to find a reason to leave the house because of my depression and anxiety. Yet, I don't want to spend so much time in my room because it's not going to benefit me and will also increase my anxiety in the long run.

A lot of things feel overwhelming to me right now, but I want to prove to myself that I can handle certain things like reading a book (I haven't read a book for more than a few years now) by doing smaller things like reading one short story a week in order to build my confidence without feeling overwhelmed by too much information.

Ultimately, I'm looking for activities, skills, or experiences that you would recommend for someone in their early 20s. These activities or experiences can be big or small because I want to experience and accomplish many things this year in order to grow more as a person and spend my time wisely. I'm going to have to start off with small activities in order to build my confidence and improve my state of mind and then work on bigger activities.

A small activity would be going outside on a day when I don't have to work and grabbing a drink from Starbucks and a bigger activity would be spending the day outside of the city that I reside in and an even bigger set of activities would be going on a short vacation on my own.

If it can relate to improving my memory (especially visual memory), learning how to express my feelings, developing a bigger vocabulary, writing exercises etc.. then that would help out a lot with my current state of mind.

But, besides the information provided t's hard for me to pinpoint my dislikes/likes because I don't really know myself in that particular sense. I'm honestly open to any suggestions though as long as it results in me spending my time better and getting out of the house even when I don't have to work.

posted by anonymous to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (13 answers total)

To combat your most overarching goal, getting out more, I suggest setting the alarm, waking up with it, showering, dressing, and walking out the door. Schedule a 1-hour walk, or a trip to the library (to improve your mind) or to the gym (to go beyond walking to improve your physical state) or volunteer at the local ASPCA (if you like animals) or nursing home (if you like senior citizens) or soup kitchen (if you like people).

Just get out. Make sure every day starts with you leaving the house. What you do beyond that is less important than the activity of not sitting where you are.
posted by xingcat at 6:40 AM on January 19, 2012 [7 favorites]

Volunteer somewhere once a week, and stick to it. You can increase the frequency when you are on the upswing long enough to make bigger commitments. Nothing gets one of of his/her own head better than actively helping other people.
posted by devymetal at 6:40 AM on January 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

Not everyone loves to cook, but everyone loves food. I think learning to cook is something that can serve you in so many ways. Not only will you have a better idea of what you're eating, but for someone with social anxiety it can build your confidence, be a topic of conversation and maybe in the future, can help you make friends/socialize.

I wouldn't go out and buy seven cookbooks or anything, but how about picking a couple dishes you like, finding a promising recipe online, making a shopping list, going to the store with a specific goal and then following through with making the recipe. You won't be a pro immediately (or maybe you will!) but just like anything, the more you do, the better at it you will become. And it doesn't have to be fancy. A well made sandwich is a serious art!

I worked with a woman once who made her two sons cook one meal a week each from the age of 8. Of course she helped them (and they had a lot of hamburgers and pizza), but they had to pick the meal and help with the shopping and cooking (and apparently all their later girlfriends thanked her for it a million times over!) Anyway, I have always felt this is a great idea and I don't think you're ever too old to start.

Good luck with whatever you choose, and congratulations on the decision to better your life. (I also second the walking recommendation. Just getting outside in the fresh air is great!)
posted by Glinn at 6:52 AM on January 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

Do any of your neighbors have dogs that you can walk? If you know that you need to be there for an animal (not necessarily the human, but the animal), that may be the motivation that you need to get out of the house, at least for a small time. There was a study recently that found that people who were assigned to walk with dogs rather than other people were more likely to be consistent in their walking.

And, walking - just being outside and enjoying nature - is one of the best things that you can do to help alleviate depression and anxiety.

Overall, set small goals at first. Maybe going outside once a day or reading a chapter in a book. If you think of the mountain, it's going to be overwhelming. But if you think about putting one foot in front of the other, the climb is manageable.
posted by Leezie at 7:06 AM on January 19, 2012

How about a book club if your library has one? One book a month, which gives you a goal and helps you get back into preparing something to a deadline without added stress of it being for a grade. You don't even have to discuss it unless you want to, but if you do, it will be in a low-stress non-competitive environment. (If that's not the case, then leave it and find another group.)
posted by lesbiassparrow at 7:07 AM on January 19, 2012

Step one: get rid of your television. Seriously. You don't need more temptation to hole up alone in your room. Box that sucker up, long-term-loan it to a friend or put it in storage or just sell it.

Step two: develop a regular schedule that ensures you get out of the house at predetermined times of day. If your plan is to "get out of the house at some point today" you will spend all day meaning to get around to doing that at some point and then find yourself still in your pajamas at sunset. But if you have an organized activity that happens at a set time of day you will be much more likely to get to it.

(Taking time off from school, therefore, may not have been the best idea -- unless your symptoms were putting you in danger of failing out -- as you have now placed yourself in a position where it will be very easy to procrastinate, stay home, and end up feeling guilty and depressed about having done so.)

Some suggestions:
- audit a class you wouldn't have taken otherwise
- set up a regular gym date with a friend or friends (it's a lot easier to blow it off if you were planning to go alone than if your buddy XYZ is meeting you there)
- take some other kind of class that involves physical activity -- yoga, spinning, karate, trapeze, taiko drumming, you name it
- join a book group
- arts classes may help with your "improving my memory (especially visual memory), learning how to express my feelings" stuff: find a community center or school that has life drawing sessions or pottery classes or Watercolor 101 or whatever
posted by ook at 7:20 AM on January 19, 2012 [3 favorites]

I would suggest a night class of some kind, like Tai Chi or Yoga. Your local school board should have lots of options for these sorts of things.

As said above, key is getting you out of the house, and in some sort of regular activity. A no-pressure thing like an Intro to Tai Chi class would do that, without any impact on your permanent record (so to speak), and at very low cost. An activity like that would also help with your visual memory, watching, learning, and repeating the steps involved.

I found the meditative aspects of both Tai Chi and Yoga quite helpful, even though I didn't grab on to the more woo-woo parts of either. Just the simple, low-impact exercise where I didn't have to think a whole lot, other than on getting the repeated patterns right.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:49 AM on January 19, 2012

Do you enjoy taking pictures of things? A small, recurring activity: choose something interesting near your home (a tree, a popular graffiti spot, a cracked piece of sidewalk) and take a picture of it every few days. You'll get to see how a part of your world changes over time, and you'll have a reason to leave the house.

Good luck!
posted by treefort at 7:51 AM on January 19, 2012

Taking a walk while listening to audiobooks. It gives me more of a purpose than " go walk for an indeterminate amount of time." also, if you find a good book it's motivation to finish a chapter and get outside.
posted by raccoon409 at 8:56 AM on January 19, 2012

I second raccoon409's excellent suggestion and further suggest kid lit and further further alert you to the fact that the Narnia books are available for free online as read by a woman with a soothing British accent here. Download to iPod and walk around while enchanted by the warmth of small-scale adventures!
posted by prefpara at 10:52 AM on January 19, 2012

Seconding get rid of the television. I also agree that daily walks are good.

Do you have any beautiful natural places near you? Go there for your walks, and instead of listening to whatever on your iPod listen to the birds, the wind in the trees, the water.
posted by mareli at 11:19 AM on January 19, 2012

Do you like playing games? If so, Super Better described in this radio story may be able to help you. I was reminded of it by your idea to start very small with some of your goals, working your way towards the bigger goal -- which is similar how this is setup.
posted by garlic at 11:54 AM on January 19, 2012

Like you, I took a year off college to deal with depression and anxiety in my early 20's. The single best thing I did for myself duing that time was set up a regular schedule to go somewhere and do the homework that my therapist was giving me. Is there anywhere you love going that you can turn into your regular "office"? That way it feels like you're heading out for a job of some form, which feels like an obligation and you're less likely to decide you can put it off till tomorrow than say a coffee from Starbucks. Plus you know that the homework will be good for you. Can also you build something you love doing into the routine that gets you out of the house? I love shopping and dressing up, so back then my routine was to put on my finest frippery and go to a coffee place in the busiest shopping district in town. First order of business was to do the cognitive behavioural therapy homework with every single conceivable thought or emotion that was bothering me. When that was done I would read a book. By the end of the day I'd gotten some sunshine, some exercise with all the walking to get there, did window shopping, reading, my homework and dealt with the stuff that was bothering me. By the end of the year my self-esteem, relationship skills and ability to handle stress and criticism had gone way up and I'd read a lot of books.

Caveat is that activity requires your therapy to have some sort of homework component, of course. Good luck with everything, by the way, and don't be too hard on yourself if you don't reach all the "tangible goals" you wanted to hit (like travelling). Outwardly it looks like I did fuck-all in my year off, but I changed so much internally. For that alone it was priceless.
posted by michelle lightning at 9:48 AM on January 24, 2012 [2 favorites]