How to write an autobiography without self-sabotaging my project?
September 8, 2010 11:57 AM   Subscribe

How can I succeed in writing a truthful and complete autobiography without self-sabotaging the project before it's done?

I have some experience with writing but have never taken on a project like this one. I am concerned about aborting the project before it gains any momentum.

The goal is not to publish but that may very well happen later. The goal today is actually to focus attention on a set of behavioral patterns that I am less than happy with and write about them (and their origin/evolution) objectively and comprehensively. Nothing criminal or psycho here, just stuff that I feel isn't very good for me.

This idea first came to me when, during moments of reflection and despair, it occurred to me that I sometimes feel as though I am becoming a character in a book. Within me there appears to be a dominant persona or character who, I feel, has too much power and control over my behavior. I have decided that one way to wrestle back some of this control would be to write about my life, focusing on the evolution of this part of me in particular as if it were a character in a narrative.

One idea that I shy away from is to fictionalize everything except for a set of core facts or truths, but I do not know where I would draw the line between fiction and non-fiction, and I am concerned that this approach would water things down too much.

A second idea is to work with another writer or perhaps a therapist, but my budget for this project is very small and I don't know anyone who would be a good match. (And I don't have a great track record with therapists).
posted by anonymous to Writing & Language (5 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Two things from me: 1) It appears you have a very strict concept of what an autobiography is and you are not comfortable with being flexible about your definition at all. I can tell you that'd be a waste of time, but it's your autobiography and you can do with it what you want, including nothing. Suffice it to say that you could write an autobiography that follows your transition from a person who wants to write an autobio, into a person who has written an autobio. 2) The whole "character in a book/movie/story" is a common thread in narcissism & BPD. I suggest finding a better therapist.
posted by rhizome at 12:09 PM on September 8, 2010


If you are concerned that fictionalizing the events of your life would water them down, then don't fictionalize, just write down the most factual report that you can. Of course, fiction can be a powerful means of conveying truth in a metaphorical sense. But that is an art which not everyone can master, so perhaps you are better with a strictly non-fictional strategy. Non-fiction can also be quite dramatic; we are often reminded that truth is stranger than fiction - and it is. There have been many actual events that are so bizarre that had they appeared in works of fiction rather than being actual events, readers would have found them to be unbelievable. So your life may well be interesting as it is, without needing to be retold in a fictionalized manner. And in any event, your life is inevitably interesting to yourself. Whether you will find a larger readership remains to be seen, but even if all you do is to clarify your understanding of your own life, that is a worthwhile accomplishment.
posted by grizzled at 12:21 PM on September 8, 2010


In her book What It Is, Lynda Barry teaches a kind of writing/visualization technique that a beloved art teacher taught her back in college. The book is itself a kind of memoir (in cartoon/collage form) about the development of the creative process, and the second half of it is essentially a workbook that helps you put this technique to use with your own memories.

I thoroughly recommend it, I think it would help you avoid some of the pitfalls you describe.
posted by hermitosis at 12:24 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


If you want to work with another writer, check out writers' groups in your area (or even online). Honestly, I am always stuck right around where you are when I think about writing, but I love to interview people, edit, try to draw things out of them. (Maybe I should go into ghostwriting! Ooh!)

There are so many ways of addressing what you want to say. Do certain events stick out for you? Do you see patterns and want to make a story out of the links between the patterns' components?

People always say that the best way to write better is to read better. That is definitely true. I can't believe I am continually coming back to A Girl Named Zippy in, like, every thread; it's not the greatest book evarr by any means. But I really like how the author writes vignettes that capture certain moments or themes. Sometimes she reflects a lot more; mostly, she just tries to capture what she was thinking in the moment. That's what I like the most, because she makes the kinds of spurious kid-logic connections and judgments that are so relatable to me from my own childhood. You might start by doing that. Don't focus on an overarching story or making the ends tie up nicely -- particularly because, for you, the ends AREN'T tied up nicely, which is why you're doing this in the first place.

Another idea is to do it orally. Maybe start with some questions on a sheet of paper in front of you, to give yourself some focus. Record yourself talking. Then, type things in, either verbatim or editing as you go. And as you edit, you'll come up with other things you want to say.

I don't think this is a bad idea at all, whether you write it as a character or not. I have an acquaintance who has gotten a lot of personal catharsis out of doing something like this. Her big hangups are family and holidays (specifically, holidays with family :P), and writing herself into her own version of A Christmas Carol helped her work out a lot of her grief and frustration. She is able to come back to it and read when she's feeling certain things, and she's thinking about going through and rewriting it this year to keep her going on her journey.

Good luck!
posted by Madamina at 2:03 PM on September 8, 2010


Is it possible you could distance yourself from this character and write the autobiography as if it were a biography you writing about someone else. If you need access to internal states of mind to make it work you could perhaps "interview" that part of yourself and then incorporate that into the work.
posted by crocomancer at 4:34 AM on September 9, 2010


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