It's never too early to start talking about it

November 20, 2006 11:11 AM

Suggestions of sex education books for young kids (3 and older)

Rather than have THE sex talk with my daughter at a later date, I'd like to start reading, and thereby talking, about sex at this age. She's 3 and very smart. She loves books and I'm looking for suggestions for a book that's good for 3, 4, 5 year olds. Not explicit necessarily, but introduces the topic. And no stork garbage. Books for the next 3 years of age would be great. Thanks!

posted by aacheson to Education (20 answers total)

"Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mayle.

My sources tell me that it is explicit but tastefully done and has illustrations.
posted by Stynxno at 11:28 AM on November 20, 2006

we only had one book at home, but it was in a league of its own: Will McBride's "Zeig Mal" pdf, in German.
it'll be pretty hard to find now - in fact, you'd probably risk being arrested for just owning a copy. sad times.
posted by progosk at 11:33 AM on November 20, 2006

Babette Cole's Mommy Laid An Egg is a good way to introduce the topic with humor, but it might be a little sketchy on the details. Joanna Cole's How You Were Born would be a good complement -- it's a little more matter of fact and provides lots of good information. Both are directed at pre-school age children.
posted by kittydelsol at 11:37 AM on November 20, 2006

When helping a teacher friend of mine, she regalled me with tales of a child whose parents gave him Hair in Funny Places which apparently did a good job at scaring the hell out of him, but after I read it, it seemed slightly silly (no really anatomical pictures), but very informative and funny. Then again, I have no children :D
posted by banannafish at 11:40 AM on November 20, 2006

I was raised with "Did the Sun Shine Before I was Born" and turned out with (what I think are) healthy attitudes about sex. FWIW my father is a pediatrician who is very much a proponent of talking to kids honestly and directly about sex. From what I remember, the book was explicit yet tastefully done, with illustrations.
posted by SBMike at 11:45 AM on November 20, 2006

Robie Harris has several books for kids of varying ages; It's Not the Stork is her most recent one for kids ages 4 and up.
posted by kimdog at 11:48 AM on November 20, 2006

Seconding "Where Did I Come From." It's the book my mother used to introduce sex when I was in kindergarten. Also, unsolicited, but I think you're doing the right thing by bringing it up early. Since sex was never a revelation for me, I avoided a lot of the common pitfalls (thinking sex is embarrassing or taboo, etc.) that I saw a lot of my peers going through. Although, I seem to remember that there were some angry phone calls from my elementary school when I told another kid that the stork story was stupid...
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 11:50 AM on November 20, 2006

It's So Amazing by Robie H. Harris.

Seconding "Where Did I Come From," which does talk explicitly but in a good, clear way about even the sex act itself and answers questions like, "Well, if it feels so good, why doesn't everybody just do it all the time?"

(MetaFilter: Explicit but tastefully done, with illustrations.)
posted by not that girl at 11:51 AM on November 20, 2006

And no stork garbage.

Well then, I second It's Not the Stork. It's the age range you're looking for, it's thorough but tame, and it was very well reviewed.
posted by lampoil at 11:51 AM on November 20, 2006

I'm going to add my vote for Where Did I Come From. It was read to me when I was around 4 years old and I think it's the definitive children's book about sex.
posted by DrSkrud at 11:56 AM on November 20, 2006

I'll echo the majority: Robie Harris is the best. My kids enjoy It's Perfectly Normal, and it's more about sex than having babies (though there is a having babies section).

It shows many different types of bodies, is very positive and accepting about all orientations, and works for multiple age levels. It's accurate and detailed but it's also funny and doesn't feel pushy or confrontational.
posted by serazin at 12:35 PM on November 20, 2006

Did anyone see this post on BoingBoing?

The book is all in German, but from the pictures, it really can just be up to mom and dad to explain everything.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 12:52 PM on November 20, 2006

I'll fourth or fifth Robie Harris. I was OBSESSED with It's Perfectly Normal as a young kid--I'm pretty sure it's what turned me into a sex educator. It's funny, detailed, and very warm. I'd like to echo serazin's comment about being positive and accepting. I worked this summer cataloging books in a small sexuality library, and the kid's section was downright depressing in terms of the narrow scope of most of the books. Even if your kid is being raised by her married, biological mother and father, it doesn't mean that everyone she meets will have been or that she needs to assume that that's the norm from which all other family patterns are deviant.

Where Did I Come From is decent too, but I was kind of grossed out that it's produced in different versions by ethnicity--as though we couldn't have Asian mommy-daddy couples (and that's all you get) mixing with the Black ones!
posted by kelseyq at 12:59 PM on November 20, 2006

I totally nth It's Perfectly Normal - we used it in the Our Whole Lives (OWL) program that I taught to pre-high schoolers.

I'm a bit biased, but I'd recommend the entire OWL program even as a home based educational tool. It was developed by the UUA and the UCC and it covers the basic biology of the bits and pieces but also introduces the importance of interpersonal relationships and how they impact sexual decisions that we make. You can use it as a secular tool, but you can also order faith-based additions if that's the way you lean.

The details are on the website, but briefly, the program is divided up in to grades K-1, 4-6, 7-9, 10-12 and there's even an adult group and an advocacy group for sexual awareness. Each part of the program is age appropriate as well as being designed for flexibility.

I think I'm blathering on a bit, but that's my 2 cents.
posted by oreonax at 2:28 PM on November 20, 2006

Where Did I Come From! That's the one I was read when I was 4 or 5 year old. Just don't introduce it to your kids right before you go on vacation and the kids stay with your mother; my parents had to tell me I couldn't ask Grandma to read my my new favorite book. Anyways, the book does a good job of explaining the actual sex act in terms a kid can understand. It's all well and good to tell a kid that sperm + egg= baby, but any kid is going to want to know how the sperm gets to the egg, if one's in mom and the other's in dad. Definitely a good place to start the introduction of sex ed to your kid. My parents sort of slowly scaled up, having the age appropriate books around for the reading and always being open about that sort of stuff. Then when I discovered the Internet, I wasn't totally unprepared. One thing (among others) my parents got right.
posted by MadamM at 3:49 PM on November 20, 2006

Response by poster: Thank you all of you. What wonderful suggestions! My parents told me NOTHING and when I found out I was horrified, embarassed, and really grossed out. I don't want my daughter going through that.

Thanks again.
posted by aacheson at 8:01 PM on November 20, 2006

I had a girlfriend at one point who's parents were both very progressive teachers. They gave their daughter a book, which I unfortunately do not have the name of, which contained page after page of vaginas. Not porn shots, not "hot chicks'" vaginas, just your regular, everyday vaginas. Hundreds of them in all shapes, sizes, colors, hairstyles, etc.

From time to time, when she wasn't feeling particularly confident or beautiful as a woman or normal she would pull out the big book of vaginas and leaf through it. She'd remember again that they were all very different and all very special and that she too was very special.

As an adult she is a very confident person and believes wholeheartedly that the big book of vaginas had a great deal to do with her self-confidence.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:41 AM on November 21, 2006

How We Are Born, How We Grow, How Our Bodies Work...and How We Learn (ISBN: 0307157938)
Kaufman, Joe

It's awesome.
posted by ewkpates at 4:49 AM on November 21, 2006

Pollomacho, you might be thinking of something like the Cunt Coloring Book?
posted by jessamyn at 11:46 AM on November 21, 2006

Or maybe Pollomacho is thinking of Femalia?
posted by serazin at 12:24 PM on November 21, 2006