Dating site defy common sense
May 18, 2008 8:18 AM Subscribe
I realised a while ago that dating sites defy common sense but they're a hotbed of behavioural science and psychology. Fortunately I'm the type of guy that thinks "if its not working I must be doing something wrong". Cue much experimentation to figure out whats going on. I've only seen it from a male point of view tho.
for instance,
being overly specific gives ammunition to people for "reasons not to be interested". I call that one, shooting oneself in the foot. Females seem more interested when they're hoping they have stuff in common than knowing they dont. Which would explain why all the 'wrong' sort of guys with the vague profiles, get all the attention and it means they're in a position to lie about stuff to get what they want, which they apparently do.
People say you shouldnt be negative in profiles, but you can use it to set boundaries. I've noticed a subset of women become more interested when they're visibly out of the running. Everyone has reasons why they can't meet anyone suitable in the traditional way, whether psychological or situational, although its not always obvious until you meet someone.
I'm not sure you're going to like this last one, intelligent people are a minority on some (all?) dating sites but their opinion on how to operate tends not to stretch to the majority. They say people like 'interesting' people but its suboptimal to adopt a strategy that only appeals to a minority especially since the basis of a relationship is ultimately to like someone for who they are not what they like.
I'm interested to hear what anecdotes the hive mind has to offer that illustrate behavioural aspects of (groups of) people on dating sites.
*nb: I'm not asking because I'm looking for more help, I found someone, but people and behaviour of people has always fascinated me.
for instance,
being overly specific gives ammunition to people for "reasons not to be interested". I call that one, shooting oneself in the foot. Females seem more interested when they're hoping they have stuff in common than knowing they dont. Which would explain why all the 'wrong' sort of guys with the vague profiles, get all the attention and it means they're in a position to lie about stuff to get what they want, which they apparently do.
People say you shouldnt be negative in profiles, but you can use it to set boundaries. I've noticed a subset of women become more interested when they're visibly out of the running. Everyone has reasons why they can't meet anyone suitable in the traditional way, whether psychological or situational, although its not always obvious until you meet someone.
I'm not sure you're going to like this last one, intelligent people are a minority on some (all?) dating sites but their opinion on how to operate tends not to stretch to the majority. They say people like 'interesting' people but its suboptimal to adopt a strategy that only appeals to a minority especially since the basis of a relationship is ultimately to like someone for who they are not what they like.
I'm interested to hear what anecdotes the hive mind has to offer that illustrate behavioural aspects of (groups of) people on dating sites.
*nb: I'm not asking because I'm looking for more help, I found someone, but people and behaviour of people has always fascinated me.
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is basically a blog entry mixed with some chatfilter. AskMe is for solving specific problems, not starting discussions. -- cortex
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