Pls suggest me some good cocktails.

April 25, 2008 9:23 AM

I'm a guy 5-6 years over the legal drinking age, I have been sober all this time. Recently I started been a social drinker. I don't want to get drunk or stoned. Just wanted to socialize with others. Due to the fact that I have been sober for this long I'm clueless on what to order at a bar. My current choices are - Beer (Stuck with Budweiser) - Fish Bowl=vodka+cranberry juice (Introduced by a friend. It's ok but taste is not that great) - Sparkling Wine (I like the taste) Please suggest me some good cocktail - That you like the taste - Will not get me stoned - Not girly (Is martini a girls drink?) - Cost less than $6-$7 per drink (with relative to prices of small college town bars, not in NYC type of bars. I can understand that $5 drink in a college town will be $10 in NYC) p.s.: Open to suggestions of good beers too.
posted by WizKid to food & drink (113 comments total)

Rum & coke. Tasty and usually cheap. I get them for around $4 in South Carolina.
posted by chiababe at 9:29 AM on April 25, 2008

Gin and tonic is probably a good choice.

A martini is not a girl's drink. Some bizarre fruity concoction that resembles a martini only in the name might be.
posted by grouse at 9:30 AM on April 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

A proper gin/vermouth Martini is in no way a girl's drink, and is actually pretty disgusting unless you like the taste of gin. I'm supposing you don't!

If you like your vodka and cranberry I'm guessing your after mainly sweet drinks... in that case there are all sorts of lovely drinks to try, one of my favourite sweet drinks that is within the stocks of most bars is a tequila sunrise: tequila, orange juice and grenadine layered in a particularly pretty way. Girl's drink? Maybe, but who cares! It's the 21st century, mate!

I have no idea what the prices round your way will be like, as I live halfway across the world.

As an alternative, just mix vodka with more or less anything you already enjoy drinking.
posted by Ted Maul at 9:30 AM on April 25, 2008

A martini is NOT a girly drink. It's almost the very essence of masculinity, in my book. But it's a strong drink and if you're not a regular drinker, very liable to get you drunk. But if you're not really into alcohol, you probably won't like it anyway. The usual stand-by old reliables are Gin and Tonic, Vodka Tonic, or maybe a screwdriver (vodka+orange juice). You'll want something with a non-alcoholic mixer to dilute the strength of the booze.

Sparkling wine, however, is a bit girly, if you're worried about that.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:31 AM on April 25, 2008

Bah, "you're" of course. I'm hung over!
posted by Ted Maul at 9:31 AM on April 25, 2008

Is martini a girls drink?

No, but a fish bowl and sparkling wine will both be perceived as such if you're worried about it. A simple gin and tonic satisfies me on the rare occasion that I'm not in the mood for a beer. (Is there a reason you're stuck with Budweiser?)
posted by the christopher hundreds at 9:31 AM on April 25, 2008

Ginger ale/beer with triple sec. Another cheap and tasty drink that's light on the alcohol content.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:32 AM on April 25, 2008

I personally enjoy a good gin and tonic with a lime wedge. But I usually drink beer. Some good, reasonably priced beers that I like include (but are not limited to):
Guiness, Molson, Moosehead, Alexander Keiths, Rolling Rock, Brooklyn (any of them, but might not be cheap if you're not not in NYC), Amstel Light, and definitely try every microbrew you see, as they are usually much better than the big American brands.

If you are set on drinking American mass produced beer, I suggest Miller over Bud or Coors.

/I'm Canadian though, so take the beer list with a grain of back-bacon.
posted by Grither at 9:32 AM on April 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

Sparkling wine, however, is a bit girly, if you're worried about that.

Damn. Even previewed.
posted by the christopher hundreds at 9:33 AM on April 25, 2008

A real martini is not a girl's drink, it's a drunk's drink. The rule is: if the liquid in the glass is clear, it's a proper martini. If it has any colour other than clear, or if there is anything in the glass except an olive or a piece of lemon peel, it's (a) not a real martini (b) a girl's drink.

My advice: go out to a decent bar, and spend an evening experimenting. Discover if you like your drinks sweet, sour or tasting mostly of booze. You probably don't want to make a cocktail your regular drink, but something in the spirit-and mixer department is fine (gin and tonic, vodka-orange, rum and coke, whisky and soda, etc.)

Also, try wine by the glass.
posted by Hogshead at 9:34 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Please order a vodka with cranberry juice as a "vodka cranberry". What's a "fish bowl"? I've seen called a "cape codder" in drink lists, but that usually just gets a "huh?" in response in real life and isn't worth it.

If you like the taste of tonic, you can go with a gin & tonic. If you don't like gin, go with a vodka tonic.

A proper gin/vermouth Martini is in no way a girl's drink, and is actually pretty disgusting unless you like the taste of gin.

Yeah, it's a drinker's drink. It's a glass of gin, with some vermouth.
posted by smackfu at 9:35 AM on April 25, 2008

And of course it's Guinness, not Guiness.
posted by Grither at 9:35 AM on April 25, 2008

Where I live there's some credibility given to those who order a local micro brew. I'd find out itf there are any near you. I always order a Citron and Soda. No sugar so it's less likely to give me a hangover and it's quite fresh. If you're drinking lightly you might need a Vodka and Red Bull though since light drinking makes me sleepy.
posted by kristymcj at 9:35 AM on April 25, 2008

A martini is gin and a tad of vermouth stirred in ice and garnished with an olive. This is not an effeminate drink by any means. However, when they trade the gin for vodka and start adding sugary shit in a martini glass - it is not a martini - it is something vile and unseemly. People who enjoy these kinds of drinks should not be allowed to utter the name martini. Gender aside, no self respecting person would enjoy these kind of mutant concoctions.
posted by bigmusic at 9:36 AM on April 25, 2008

If you don't want to get too drunk, I would steer clear of the mixed drinks. Many of them have a LOT of alcohol, but you can't taste it, so you drink them faster. Domestic beers or imported Lagers are a good idea, try Amstel Light, it's a heck of a lot better tasting than Budweiser and has a pretty low alcohol content. Martini's are pretty much pure alcohol, so maybe you might want to drop those from the list.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 9:36 AM on April 25, 2008

1 - stoned usually refers to drugs.

Seconding rum and coke. Bacardi and Captain Morgan are your two rum choices. Captain is spicier, which I like.

Margaritas are great when they are made well.

As far as beers, follow your friends' lead. I like to get whatever IPA is on draft.

If you're at a brew pub or something, ask for a sampler. Whatever types of beers you like (IPA, Amber, etc.) remember and next time you're out, ask if they have any of that type on draft.

Be a bit of a snob and go to a good brewpub to educate yourself.
posted by k8t at 9:36 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Is there a reason you're stuck with Budweiser?

Not really, just the usual I order.
But open to suggestions :-)
posted by WizKid at 9:38 AM on April 25, 2008

I'm not a beer drinker, but I've found that Young's Double Chocolate Stout is amazing. Definitely worth a try.
posted by DoctorFedora at 9:38 AM on April 25, 2008

I'd always suggest a good beer over a cocktail any day of the week. Delicious and thirst-quenching. Try the local beers on tap (thankfully, good beer is trendy these days; even dive bars usually carry a decent local brew) or, failing that, something easy like a Blue Moon (it's an American wheat beer made by Coors, so it's everyplace; lots of non beer-drinkers are drinking it lately).

And I'll disagree with Grither; my go-to lousy beer in a bar is Bud, because nobody carries the only better macrobrew, Miller High Life.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:38 AM on April 25, 2008

A whiskey and cola. Sweet, but masculine. As cheap as a vodka-cranberry (I've never heard it called "fishbowl"), and the caffeine in the cola will keep you awake if the alcohol starts to make you sleepy. Also bubbly, like sparkling wine.
posted by muddgirl at 9:40 AM on April 25, 2008

(Also, I'll agree with k8t; go to a brewpub, try them all, find a style you like. I am big on hoppy beers, but lately I've really been enjoying wheats and pilsners. I know a guy who likes beer, but really loves big Belgians, which I can't stand. Plus it's an excuse to have some decent food and a few beers.)
posted by uncleozzy at 9:40 AM on April 25, 2008

Screwdriver (vodka + orange juice). The cost will vary by what shelf you are ordering your vodka from (top shelf = more $). If you don't specify a brand name vodka, it will be a very inexpensive drink.

Plus, it has a manly name.
posted by jamaro at 9:40 AM on April 25, 2008

My favorite tasting drinks are probably a rum & coke (or a captain & coke using spiced rum) or a whiskey sour. As far as beer, I'd shy away from the plain ones and try out a local or micro brew.
posted by sanka at 9:40 AM on April 25, 2008

Previously.
posted by somanyamys at 9:40 AM on April 25, 2008

If you like your vodka and cranberry I'm guessing your after mainly sweet drinks...

Yes, exactly
posted by WizKid at 9:41 AM on April 25, 2008

There are places where getting a glass of sparkling wine is 'girly' and other places where it isn't.

You might like a Rusty Nail; it's worth a try. There are names for nearly anything mixed and containing alcohol here.

It's good to find a bar where you can experiment. That would be a -bar-, not a night club. You can ask the bartender for recommendations, as long as the place isn't super busy it's no problem.
posted by jet_silver at 9:41 AM on April 25, 2008

I've never heard it called "fishbowl"

Probably its a local thing then, I'm glad you told me that
posted by WizKid at 9:42 AM on April 25, 2008

I'm loving the Tuaca Bombs lately-Its Tuaca + redbull. It tastes like smarties. As much as I despise Red Bull, its terrific when mixed with Tuaca.
posted by neilkod at 9:43 AM on April 25, 2008

Whiskey Sour, Amaretto Sour, Margarita, Tom Collins, Moscow Mule, Gin & Juice (you can use any kind of juice you like).

If you want a hot drink, and they have the ingredients, an Irish Coffee is great.
posted by kidbritish at 9:44 AM on April 25, 2008

Bloody beers are good. Tomato juice, cheap beer and worcestershire.
posted by electroboy at 9:44 AM on April 25, 2008

(Even the lightweight alcohol elitists will snicker at you for the bud, if you care.) Killians is a good all-around beer. Corona or Sol for the beach. White russians and tiki drinks will also go down easy.

Tiki drinks are awesome: Scorpions, Mai Tais, Zombies, Planter's Punch, etc. They all taste like rum and fruit, so don't be afraid to try new varieties.
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:45 AM on April 25, 2008

High ball = Whisky + Ginger Ale
posted by special-k at 9:45 AM on April 25, 2008

Mandrin & tonic is delicious (tastes like a sparkling orange waterfall!), relatively cheap, and totally un-froofy. Dewars & soda is a good way to wean yourself onto Scotch, the manliest drink of all.
posted by ourobouros at 9:47 AM on April 25, 2008

You may want to try a Greyhound (vodka and grapefruit juice). Good stuff. I drink that when I want something sweet to counteract my usual vodka and soda with lime.
posted by thesiameseffect at 9:48 AM on April 25, 2008

There are names for nearly anything mixed and containing alcohol here.
Thanks for the link.

oh another thing. When suggesting drinks please mention the "name of the drink" that I should ask at the bar.
like rum+coke, is there a name for it or should I just ask "Rum and Coke" ?
posted by WizKid at 9:48 AM on April 25, 2008

I'm itching to go on a rant about the sanctity of the martini, which should be defined by law as the holy union between gin and vermouth, but that's probably not what you need.

I'd recommend vodka and lemonade or Jack and Coke for you. Flavorful but gender-neutral, and available at any bar anywhere.
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:49 AM on April 25, 2008

is there a name for it or should I just ask "Rum and Coke" ?

You can call it a Cuba Libre but most people just call it Rum & Coke. ;)
posted by kidbritish at 9:49 AM on April 25, 2008

Lighter colored beers are (for me at least) easier to drink than dark beers.

If you're looking to impress dates or ay dinner parties where I live you MUST know about wine. I'd recommend a wine tasting class - they're fun too!
posted by k8t at 9:50 AM on April 25, 2008

Killians is a good all-around beer. Corona or Sol for the beach

Please don't buy Corona. You hurt beer every time you reinforce its worth by paying a premium for it.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:50 AM on April 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

oh another thing. When suggesting drinks please mention the "name of the drink" that I should ask at the bar.
like rum+coke, is there a name for it or should I just ask "Rum and Coke" ?
posted by WizKid

Quick and dirty:
"Rum and Coke"
"Gin and Tonic"
"Cranberry Vodka"
"Screwdriver" (vodka and OJ)
posted by Grither at 9:51 AM on April 25, 2008

Vodka tonics are good and if you don't like the tonic, you can also order vodka and club soda. Or if you like it sweet, order a vodka and seven (7 Up). Or a vodka and pineapple.
posted by gfrobe at 9:51 AM on April 25, 2008

Vodka+cranberry is girly, and so is sparkling wine. Some older people will say that a martini isn't girly, James Bond blah blah, but ordering one as a young guy in a college town seems effeminate, personally. Crown (Canadian whiskey) with lime is delicious, unisex, and popular in my college town. Jack & Coke also might be up your alley - sweet and familiar because of the Coke but still a guy's drink.
posted by tatiana wishbone at 9:53 AM on April 25, 2008

As far as beers, follow your friends' lead. I like to get whatever IPA is on draft.

If you're at a brew pub or something, ask for a sampler. Whatever types of beers you like (IPA, Amber, etc.) remember and next time you're out, ask if they have any of that type on draft.

Be a bit of a snob and go to a good brewpub to educate yourself.

I endorse this course of action. Avoid mass-produced American lagers. They are for underaged drinkers and people with no taste.
posted by ludwig_van at 9:53 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

oh another thing. When suggesting drinks please mention the "name of the drink" that I should ask at the bar. like rum+coke, is there a name for it or should I just ask "Rum and Coke" ?

There's probably a name for everything, but you'll look much more smooth, and like a mature drinker (rather than a 21-year-old liquor-virgin) if you just order by the principal ingredients.

A corrollary: anything that requires a fancy name to order (because there are many ingredients) is probably gonna cost more than $5.
posted by muddgirl at 9:54 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

WizKid: If you're concerned about being perceived as drinking "girly drinks" you shouldn't be ordering vodka cranberries. Vodka cranberries are (at least in these parts) the quintessential girl drink. Sparkling wine isn't much better. Might as well order a hard lemonade at that point.

If you want a guys drink, order a decent beer. Or a dry martini. Or a rum and coke. Or a scotch.

Basically, if it has a cutesy name, don't order it.
posted by Justinian at 9:54 AM on April 25, 2008

n'thing rum and coke. Preferably a large mount gay rum with lots of ice and lime... yum
posted by derbs at 9:57 AM on April 25, 2008

The names for drinks are sort of silly. Do specify the brand of liquor you want tho. 'Cranberry and Grey Goose' for example. This is more the case at fancier places.
Generic i.e. cheapest brand is called 'well.' So you could say 'cranberry and vodka, well is fine.'

Oh, Bloody Mary is GREAT with brunch.
posted by k8t at 9:59 AM on April 25, 2008

What non-alcoholic drinks do you like?

Most beverages other than water can be used successfully used as a mixer with some appropriately paired liquor.
posted by Perplexity at 10:00 AM on April 25, 2008

Anecdote: also, be careful where you order your martini. I once ordered a gin martini, and was served a glass of Martini Rosso with a shot of gin in it.
posted by Hogshead at 10:01 AM on April 25, 2008

Perhaps you would like a Hefeweizen ( I like Paulaner and Shiner brands) which is a wheat beer that has some fruity yet not girly tones and is usually garnished with a lemon wedge.
You might like a Cider or an Ale - Ace Pear ale is my favorite and Magners or Woodchuck Ciders are good too. I don't think they are "girly" though some might think so.
I really enjoy Guinness but it gives me an immediate buzz and any more than 2 and I am drunk :)

I really enjoy Ziegenbock which is made by Anheuser-Busch... not sure if it is available where you are. Being from Texas I love Zeig and Shiner but don't know how wide spread they are.
If you like Budweiser I bet you would love this one.

I totally recommend going to a pub that has many beers on tap and just experimenting with what you like. In Texas we have a small chain called The Gingerman which would be perfect. Again not sure if you have them in your area.

I second that a martini is NOT a girly drink not in the original sense. I mean look at James Bond for goodness sake. I can't do gin and use vodka. Ciroc is my brand of choice.

ummm when out I will do vodka and red bulls. I don't feel they are girly but being a girl I might be skewing all of this in that respect ;)
How "drunk" they get you will depend on where you are and how much vodka is put in it of course.

that's all i got right now.
posted by fogonlittlecatfeet at 10:02 AM on April 25, 2008

What non-alcoholic drinks do you like?
- Coke
- Pineapple Juice
- Red Bull
- Mountain Dew

if you just order by the principal ingredients.
Great. I like it that way. Just wanted to to make sure.
posted by WizKid at 10:05 AM on April 25, 2008

If you're somewhere a little fancier you might try limoncello - it's essentially vodka with lemon and sugar, chilled. It's sweet and a little syrupy.

If you like combinations of sweet and sour, try a Midori Sour.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:07 AM on April 25, 2008

I really enjoy Guinness but it gives me an immediate buzz and any more than 2 and I am drunk :)
posted by fogonlittlecatfeet

That's interesting considering Guinness has less alcohol (and thus less calories) than most (if not all) non-light American mass produced beers. Less alcohol (and calories) than a lot of light beers, too.
posted by Grither at 10:07 AM on April 25, 2008

Gin & tonic is my standby. If you're in a situation when you want to sound more sophisticated in a posh bar, you can order the alcohol by name. Bombay Sapphire and Tanqueray are the more common top shelf gin liqueurs. You can also ask the bartender/waiter if they have Hendrick's which is very refined and has a slight fresh cucumber taste. If they do have it, ask for a cucumber garnish instead of a lemon/lime wedge.
posted by junesix at 10:09 AM on April 25, 2008

You can never go wrong with a good beer. A local microbrew is almost always excellent. Beware, though, IPAs generally have a higher alcohol content than most other beers.

I'm a fan of tequila sunrise and margaritas, but maybe it's a Texas thing for those to be among the most common drinks ordered. I see guys with those all the time. Rum and coke are always good, but any of those sweet drinks with hard liquor will get you drunk if you drink too many, which I know is not your goal.

Young's Double Chocolate stout is kinda sweet and is really good. It's a bit filling, though.
posted by fructose at 10:13 AM on April 25, 2008

Captain and Coke! There's a pirate on the bottle of Captain Morgan's Rum, so that's pretty manly.

Of course, mixed drinks can vary in alcohol wildly depending on the bar, bartender, and how much they like you. If you're just looking for something to drink while hanging out with friends, a bartender who thinks he or she is being kind to you by mixing drinks extra strong (RUM and coke) may not actually be helping.

Some college bars have surprisingly good beer selections, so that would give you something to talk to your friends about ("Have you had this Sam Adams Seasonal?") and some variety in choice. If your bar is a true dive, though, avoid anything on tap as their lines are prolly 37% mold, which really blechs the flavor of the beer. There's a bunch of Big Micros out there now that you'll have a good chance of finding on draft depending on where you are (biggest being Sam Adams and Sierra Nevada, I think) and they tend to be worthwhile.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:22 AM on April 25, 2008

When I first tried alcohol, the only thing I liked were girly drinks. Then a friend introduced me to Hornsby hard cider, which was better by a number of degrees. From there, beer became the natural progression. Now that I drink beer, it's harder to enjoy the cider or the girly drinks - the sugary stuff just isn't that good to me.

If you'd like to enjoy beers more, starting with cider and weaning yourself to beer is a good way to go. You might want to stay away from IPAs and other hoppy beers for a while, until you appreciate the bitter and strong tastes there. Amber beers are quite nice for transition - Alaskan Amber is fantastic if you can get it, though Fat Tire is OK in a pinch. Once you enjoy amber beers, you can start going a little hoppier for the IPAs, or go instead toward the darker brews, your porters and stouts, etc. Guinness is fine for a national brand, but make sure to actually have it on draft - the cans and bottles and Guinness are fine if you're craving a mediocre substitute for the real thing, but if you're not used to draft Guinness, the canned stuff is revolting.

In the meantime, if you want a wonderful beer, try a Blue Moon Hefeweisen (SP?) with a slice of orange. Mmm.

As for mixed drinks - a well-made long island iced tea is fantastic, though it gets you hammered pretty easily with the 2 to 4 shots of liquor that go into it. Jack and Coke is fine if you don't go for the rum and coke. It's also the best thing to drink when you're smuggling alcohol into a football game :-).
posted by Happydaz at 10:30 AM on April 25, 2008

You might not be able to find this at every bar (and it's definitely a little bit on the girly side), but it sounds like you'd really enjoy Moscato d'Asti, which is often just referred to as 'Asti.' It's a sweet sparkling wine, low in alcohol, and can usually be had for around $5-$7.

I don't know if this is one to order if you're trying to blend in, but if you like sparkling wine and you like sweet drinks, you'll probably love this stuff.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 10:32 AM on April 25, 2008

Things to try:

Seven Seven (Seagrams Seven and 7-Up)
Maker's Mark Manhattan (Maker's Mark, sweet vermouth, Angostura Bitters)
White Russian (Vodka, Kaluha, half & half)
n'thing vodka/gin and tonic (Kettle One for vodka, Bombay Sapphire for gin)
Real margaritas (Tequila, triple sec, lime juice)
Malibu and pineapple (I will never admit to liking, much less order, this drink in public)
Wine by the glass

Things to avoid:

Drink mixes (sweet'n'sour mix, Manhattan Mix, Bloody Mary mix, etc.) Wayyyy too sugary, and they taste chemical-y to me, which ruins otherwise perfectly drinkable alcohol.
Attempting to play mix-and-match with drinks if having more than about 3 in a night.
Not drinking water between drinks and thinking you'll stay sober.
Anything with the word "bomb" in the name.
posted by moitz at 10:33 AM on April 25, 2008

thirding whiskey sour as a good man-cocktail.

Long Island Iced Tea and Killer Koolaid are both yummy too.
posted by sunshinesky at 10:37 AM on April 25, 2008

Ignore nearly all of the previous advice in this thread, it's all wrong.

The most sensible drink for you to be drinking is straight bourbon, something mid-shelf like Maker's Mark. You'll order it "neat," meaning no ice, just plain old wonderful bourbon.

- You said you wanted something that won't get you drunk. Bourbon is perfect for that. Why? Because, unlike every other drink suggested in this thread, bourbon will punish you for drinking it too quickly. Whereas shit like rum and coke goes down deceptively smoothly, bourbon will burn you and make you uncomfortable if you try to gulp it down. However, if you nurse it very slowly, drawing the liquid into your mouth and rolling it over your tongue before gently swallowing each tiny sip, it will reward you with a wonder range of flavors and sensations, each unique to the brand and region and vintage. Straight bourbon rewards you for drinking it slowly. The same holds true of single malt scotch and good rye, but they'll be more expensive/harder to find at most bars.

- You said you wanted something cheap. A Maker's with no ice at any bar outside of Manhattan shouldn't be more than $5, and is usually only $6 or $7 even in bars here. If you're drinking it right (i.e., very slowly; see above advice) each one will last you a good long time, far longer than any mixed drink.

- You said you wanted something manly. Beer notwithstanding, there is no manlier drink that a glass of brown liquor with no ice. Bar none. It's what cowboys drink. It's so manly that people won't even question why it's taking you so long to finish it; nobody questions the dude drinking straight whiskey.

- Because of the way it's typically served, bourbon is very unlikely to sweat or spill on your clothes.

- By drinking bourbon instead of the swill mentioned upthread, you're giving yourself something to do: suss out the wonderful complexities of the drink's flavor. Like a fine wine, good whiskey rewards careful, attentive drinking; the same cannot be said for a $4 gin and tonic.

- Bourbon reverses the onset of male pattern baldness. At least, that's been my experience.
posted by saladin at 10:37 AM on April 25, 2008 [26 favorites]

For a good all-around cocktail that's easy drinking, a Vodka Collins (vodka, sprite, sweet & sour, sometimes a splash of grenadine) is hard to go wrong with, and if you prefer gin you can order a Tom Collins, but as others have mentioned gin tends to be an acquired taste.

A good solid all-around beer you can get pretty much anywhere would be Newcastle.

If you want to order a drink that you know will be extremely tasty but pretty light on alcohol content, order an amaretto sour. If you prefer something sweeter in this category go with a fuzzy navel (peach schnapps and orange juice), but beware that it's kind of a girly drink and thus the possibility for raised eyebrows exists. If you like sweet & sour drinks, vodka and whiskey are popular base liquors.

Mojitos (rum, sweetened lime juice/margarita mix, muddled mint leaves) are extremely trendy at the moment, and are a great summer drink (especially if you're somewhere with a patio). Definitely give one a try.

If you're not huge on the taste of alcohol, your previously mentioned vodka and cranberry juice is probably your best bet (Cape Codder is the traditional name but most people just ask for vodka & cranberry). Vodka also mixes pleasantly with orange juice (Screwdriver) and grapefruit juice (Greyhound).

A smooth cocktail that is easy to drink would be a White Russian (Vodka, coffee liquor like Kahlua, and milk or creamer). Tastes kind of like a milkshake, if you're not the type that drinks heavy dairy ask for it to be made with milk. This drink is popularly made with a splash of coke (Colorado Bulldog). Personally I don't care for dairy + cola but people seem to like them.

Finally, if you're the coffee type, there are several delicious cocktails that can be made with coffee (decaf works fine if it's late). Ordering a Bailey's, Kahlua, or Amaretto & coffee is always delicious and pleasant. If you're feeling adventurous you can get coffee mixed with all three (I've heard this called Cafe Magic but not sure how popular that name is). If you're not the coffee type any of the above goes great with hot chocolate. If you order a Peppermint Patty you'll receive hot chocolate mixed with peppermint schnapps, which if you like mint is quite tasty.

Please please please, whatever you take from this thread, stop ordering Budweiser or anything with "Lite" after the name. In fact, just avoid Miller and Anheuser products altogether. If you're not familiar with beer in general, go to your local liquor store and try to find a sampler pack, preferably of something local but really anything that has 3 or more different styles will work. As you're mostly interested in social drinking, invite some friends over to sample with (pouring out 3-4 ounce samples of each is great in this setting). Chances are that some styles you'll find appealing and others you may not appreciate. This should give you an idea of what to order from the bar even if you're not familiar with the brands the bar carries- you can just ask the bartender for a pale ale, amber, brown ale, etc. and take it from there. Alternatively, just ask for "something local" and you'll usually be pleasantly rewarded.
posted by baphomet at 10:46 AM on April 25, 2008

By the way, since you like pineapple juice, Midori and pineapple might be up your alley. I love 'em. However, I almost never order them because of their perceived girliness/lameness, and I am a girl who carries a Hello Kitty wallet. But if there's an outing where you feel extra secure in your masculinity, you might want to try one.
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:47 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

i'm actually kinda curious - is a caipirinha girly? in brazil it's not at all, everybody drinks them, and brazilian dudes are generally pretty damn macho. but on the other hand they're totallly sweet and easy to drink, and i always feel a little less-than-completely-manly when i order one (i do anyway, but it's kind of a guilty pleasure) even though if i think about it i've seen lots of dudes ordering them.

my other suggestion: it's a rap cliche (which is part of the pleasure of ordering it for me) but if you can afford it, hennessy x.o. tastes pretty damn good on it's own. though i suppose, being straight liquor, it's a bit of an aquired taste. and i admit it's not at all cheap though. so i guess i'm not really answering your question am i!

if you're really worried about this, why not just practice drinking straight liquor till you can handle it? no need to go all alkie, just go to the liquor store, buy a very small bottle of name-brand liquor (nothing too expensive, it'l just be wasted on you till you can at least choke down straight vodka without making a face) drink a shot or 2 every day after work, and repeat (trying different liquors/brands to see what you like best) till it no longer bothers you.
posted by messiahwannabe at 10:48 AM on April 25, 2008

My suggestions by the way, tend to be oriented towards people who are new to alcohol or don't really like/aren't accustomed to the taste of alcohol. On the whole, when drinking out, I follow saladin's advice to the letter if there aren't any decent beers around. A glass of Maker's Mark with no ice is a wonderful thing (you can order it chilled/shaken over ice if you prefer it cold, but be warned that tap water ice will affect the flavor of the whiskey).

As saladin says, sweet liquids, like cola or sweet & sour, tend to mask the flavor of alcohol, which is why they're popular with a certain crowd but is also why they can be dangerous- they go down smoothly and you don't taste the booze especially well, which means you can trick yourself into thinking you're not as intoxicated you are. Also note that carbonation increases the rate at which your body absorbs alcohol, so a rum & coke will most likely get you drunk faster than a glass of straight bourbon (like saladin says, one tends to quaff a rum and coke, whereas one tends to nurse a glass of good bourbon).
posted by baphomet at 10:53 AM on April 25, 2008

I didn't drink until relatively late (too old to think crappy beer was oh-so-exciting, in other words), and I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to things that taste terrible and have no real knowledge of alcohols. Nonetheless, despite being a girl, I mostly drink with guys and can occasionally be a little self-conscious about ordering the girliest thing in the house (which is, coincidentally, a Fuzzy Navel). So here are a few suggestions:
Whiskey sours, as previously mentioned, are delicious. I personally didn't enjoy beer at first, and now I love it, so some of the lighter beers can ease you into it. Stay away from anything with "lite" in the name. I personally really like white beers (such as Hoegaarden), though it totally depends on the beer. Try Harp (a pale lager); Blue Moon is mild and available pretty much everywhere.
posted by you're a kitty! at 10:54 AM on April 25, 2008

Sort of seconding saladin.

And there's always Scotch of course, or a decent Irish whiskey. Most blended scotch is loathesome so avoid it, but single malt scotch will put you out of your price range in a hurry. However, ordering an "Oban neat" (for example) will spray testosterone around the bar and forever establish your street cred. Maybe just do that once for effect. An Irish whiskey like Jameson's would be more in your price range (Tullamore Dew is sweeter so may appeal to you more). On the rocks for those, although if you really want to taste your whiskey not diluted by a glass full of melting ice, ask for it neat and also a glass of water, and add the ice to your preference.
posted by elendil71 at 11:02 AM on April 25, 2008

You poor bastard—you're getting all sorts of bizarre drinking advice.

Ok, if you don't want to get drunk, something that helps is sipping something with a really strong taste. You'll pace yourself with neat gin ("neat" means nothing but the booze) because, goddamn, gin has a powerful flavor.

On that tip: Try gin neat or on the rocks, and if I might take a moment to recommend something that's a little hard to find (but you don't say what college town you're in): Leopold Brothers Gin is the best goddamned gin in the world. It's distilled in small batches from organic grain and botanicals. It's light, complex, and well worth drinking either neat or on the rocks.

Aside from that, realize that gin's a bit of an odd duck when it comes to bars—a lot of the "top shelf" stuff is only top shelf because of the advertising, not because of the taste. So while Tanqueray and Sapphire are more expensive, Hendricks or Bombay Dry, or even Gibson's can be the right one for you.

You can also move in to the brown liquors, and depending on where you are, get pretty good drinks. Noting that you like a little sweeter taste, I'd bypass bourbon and go straight for asking for rye whiskey. It's a bit sweeter and a bit smoother. If your bar doesn't have it, ask for Canadian whiskey, which tends to be a blended rye and corn mash.

After that, there's brandy. Pretty much any mixed drink that normally calls for whiskey can be made with brandy. Indeed, if you're in Wisconsin, you should expect for brandy to be the default. Brandy's a distilled wine, so it will have some of that sweetness, and it mixes really well with 7-up or coke, and is a bit more complex than rum. More complex, again, means it's a better justification for sipping.

One more note on "girly" drinks—the social expectation is that women don't like getting drunk, and therefore want drinks that hide the taste of alcohol. That's why they tend to err toward the sweet. If you want "manly," you're going to have to embrace the taste of alcohol. And that means getting drunk enough times that you acclimate to both alcohol's taste and effects.

Something else to experiment with is bitters—adding a dash of bitters to most drinks gives a different character, a more interesting (at least to me) taste. More, well, bitter, but those bitters are best compared to the zest of oranges. And ordering anything with bitters sounds more manly as well. "Vodka and bitters" is pretty good, honestly, though bitters can conflict with a gin taste (which is why you should have a third balancing taste, like, say, vermouth—hey, gin, vermouth, bitters! That's a martini!).

Finally, I do support the advice of others to try microbrews. Just try not to be a prick about it—Budweisers are good on a hot day, as are PBRs. I'd be more concerned with finding stuff you like rather than attempting to aspire to a microbrew lifestyle.
posted by klangklangston at 11:05 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Seriously, people are suggesting straight whiskey and bourbon for a new drinker?
posted by smackfu at 11:06 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

I don't want to get drunk or stoned. Just wanted to socialize with others.

Then skip the mixed drinks, which are often mixed pretty strong, and go for beer. I associate rum and coke with underaged drinking, because the coke masks the alcohol and helps you get drunker faster without gagging. Beer is uncontroversially not-girly, whereas different mixed drinks get coded as "girly" in different places.

Just ask the bartender "what do you have that's local?" Hopefully they will list off a whole bunch of local beers, and you either pick one randomly to try, or you say, "woah, I don't know any of those. I want something [dark/light/hoppy/whatever], what do you suggest?" and work from there. If they don't have anything local, Blue Moon and Guinness are available almost everywhere, and are both drinkable (depending on whether you like things darker or lighter, obviously). But if you are in a different kind of bar (where whiskey drowns and beer chases, as the song says) and don't want to sound like an effete snob by asking for upmarket beer, Bud is fine, certainly better than Coors and some of the others.

If you are really just socializing, and the drinking is incidental and you don't want even a buzz, get good at nursing your beer -- very small sips, taken infrequently, mean that you can make a beer last a very long time. By the time you get down towards the bottom it'll be getting warm and flat, so just set it over on a table and order another. It's easier to nurse 16 ounces of beer for an hour than it is to sip away at a 4 ounce glass of rum and coke that is half ice. (Ignore this if you are enjoying the drinking itself, but if the drink is just the vehicle for socializing in a bar, then you need to learn how to drink without really drinking, as it were.) For really nursing a beer slowly, a can or bottle works better than a glass, because it hides how much is left.
posted by Forktine at 11:09 AM on April 25, 2008

i'm actually kinda curious - is a caipirinha girly?

These are a recent favorite of mine, and I don't think they come across as girly. However, I think you will find that many bars (at least in college towns in the US) do not carry the cachaça necessary for these.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:25 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think the straight bourbon and whiskey suggestions have merit, if you don't want to get drunk. (Which you said you don't.)

Most new drinkers don't go for neat liquor, because they're unused to the taste, and they also want to be able to consume enough alcohol to get buzzed or drunk. Hence, you have lots of drinks which exist solely to hide the alcohol that they contain. Frankly, I think such drinks are pretty dangerous if you don't know what you're doing and what your tolerance is like; you can pretty easily sit around, sucking down well-made sweet drinks and not realize how shitfaced you are until you decide to stand up. I've seen it happen. You don't want to be that guy.

So I don't think it's a bad idea to stick to things that you can taste the alcohol in. It'll help you keep tabs on your consumption, not go too fast, and it might over time help you acquire a taste for things you might never have enjoyed otherwise. Seems like a win-win to me.

The other suggestion I'd second is moving up in the beer department. Mass-produced American "lagers" are, for the most part, swill. Anything that's marketed as "light", doubly so. Unless you are eating pizza (and delivery-chain pizza at that), or drinking out of a keg at a party/function, stay away. An additional bonus to drinking 'real' (as opposed to light) beer is that you'll consume less of it before you start to feel full, which helps you monitor your drinking somewhat. (It's still quite possible to get hammered though, you'll just probably be a little more aware of the quantity involved.)

There are so many styles of beer, and preferences are so subjective, that it's hard to recommend anything in particular. If you have a friend who enjoys beer and whose tastes you trust, give them a few bucks and have them assemble a taste test for you, just to see what styles you like. (Stouts, porters, cream ales, ales, IPAs, Pilsners, lagers; if you can find some styles you like or don't like, that'll be good knowledge. Plus, knowing what the descriptions mean will help you when you're reading a description of an unfamiliar one.) Alternately, many 'beer bars' and taphouses that have lots of varieties on tap will sell you a sampler (the "Hops" chain of brewery restaurants does this).

[totally subjective comments] Personally, my standby if I'm in the Eastern half of the U.S. and there's not a tempting microbrew available is Sam Adams Lager; it's inoffensive, is easily available on tap, is reasonably inexpensive, and actually tastes like beer. In the mid-Atlantic, Yuengling is also good, and a little lighter. [/totally subjective comments]

At any rate, have fun and don't get too hung up on the 'image' of what you're drinking. It's just booze in a glass, after all.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:45 AM on April 25, 2008

A friend of mine has found that the fillers in cheap, mass-produced beers make him sick, but he's fine with good local beer. Also, since you are new to drinking, I offer you Girl Drink Drunk as a serious cautionary tale.
posted by D.C. at 11:53 AM on April 25, 2008

Just about every mixed drink mentioned in here would get you a friendly "we get it, you're gay" from any of my macho buddies. My best friend orders martinis but he's a cop, twice a black belt, and does it largely for the chance to give the bartender shit for asking if he wants vodka in it. Our friend Dave drinks Jack & ginger ale but he's an ER doc and an Army medic back from Iraq. I'm just a computer nerd so for manliness' sake I drink Jameson and water, Redbreast neat, Budweiser or Negro Modela, or for dessert a perfect Irish manhattan.
posted by nicwolff at 12:01 PM on April 25, 2008

I'm pretty sure rye and ginger (rye and ginger ale) is consumable by males. It's rye and ginger here in Canada, but south of the border you're likely to find only "whisk(e)y gingers."

Personally, I drink beer when out, always trying to find something I haven't had before.
posted by Herman Hermanson at 12:02 PM on April 25, 2008

Nthing IPAs and the straight whiskeys. I would add Jameson as a decent Irish that is readily available and relatively cheap.

I would also add straight rum, preferably a top shelf dark rum (if available).

Anything that you can't taste the alcohol in will be too easy to drink fast and should therefore be consumed with caution until you've discovered your boundaries.
posted by schyler523 at 12:12 PM on April 25, 2008

I am a woman, so my opinion here may not be wanted for being too girly (since obviously that is a bad thing nobody would ever want to be).

That said I used to think I didn't like beer because all the beer I had had was swill. So I mostly drank gin & tonics, whiskey sours, or maybe cider. Then I discovered that the problem was the beer I had had was swill. I still don't like most light colored beers and generally prefer something in the amber ale or brown ale range, or a porter or stout. I think different palates respond differently. I second the above suggestion of Newcastle as a good starter beer for someone who thinks they don't like beer. At a local microbrew, ask for something dark and see what you get.
posted by hydropsyche at 12:13 PM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Thanks for all the replies and keep them coming.

Just wanted to make clear that I don't have any macho buddies, nor I'm trying to be macho.
I'm just a regular guy, who just wanted to stay away from anything that is unofficially/strictly for girls. Just don't want to get the 'r u kidding me?' look from bartender/other.

So the bottom line is the drink doesn't need to improve my image or be macho, as long as I don't look like a little girl.
posted by WizKid at 12:22 PM on April 25, 2008

You may not think you want a girl drink, but I'd just like to let you know that they are a pretty effective attractant of feminine attention. Though I'm generally a scotch guy myself (Glenlivet, neat, thanks), I made a really, really girly drink at a fix-your-own-drink party once as a joke. I had watched the 'Kids in the Hall' skit 'Girl Drink Drunk' and thought it would be funny to make a drink with as much goofy cocktail schwag stuck in it as I could manage. As I remember, the first one I made turned out to be a pink liquid in a large brandy snifter, a blue plastic dolphin hanging off the side and paper umbrella dangling on the rim. Within seconds of walking away from the bar, this flamboyant beverage in hand, I was surrounded by a large number of girls all wanting to know what I was drinking. For the remainder of the night, whenever I needed another drink I made myself a gaudy, flourescent drink in the largest glass I could find and I was consistently mobbed by curious women. I left that party with a few numbers, even.

As an experiment, I have repeated this behavior at several parties, among many kinds of people. I consistently get harangued with female interest when I walk around a party with a 'girl drink' in hand. When I switch to straight scotch (that sweet amber nectar of my home) the interest seems to evaporate (though male attetion seems to increase).

I think it has something to do with broadcasting your self-confidence; something along the lines of, "You're goddamned right I'm drinking this Pink Watussi. What of it?" I have, however, never asked the interested parties to explain why they were talking to me, as I am always too excited by the attention to approach the situation clinically.

In any case, you might want to reconsider your position on 'girl drinks'.
posted by Pecinpah at 12:34 PM on April 25, 2008 [5 favorites]

Keeping my answer short and simple: N'thing gin and tonic. If you feel like a beer, some Stella Artois, Alexander Keith's, local microbrew.
posted by demagogue at 12:43 PM on April 25, 2008

I've been in Hawaii for the last 3 weeks and have been treating myself to a daily cocktail. Mojito, Mai Tai & Margarita are my top three tipples - and not too girly. You should find many places do their own signature versions of the common cocktails. A few days ago, I had a cucumber mojito which was quite unusual and refreshing.

Personally thoigh, I would suggest you lean more towards standard mixed drinks, wines & beers.
Pick one style and try to learn about variations. For example, say you pick red wine. Learn about grape varieties, wine regions, etc and how these are reflected in the taste of the wine. If you chose beer, definitely go with the microbrewery ones rather than the cheap mass marketed swill.

Have fun!
posted by goshling at 12:46 PM on April 25, 2008

Go to a liquor store or its equivalent and buy some single beers, some premade cocktails and tiny sampler bottles, and a few ingredients for some of the things mentioned here. Experiment at home. Drink a little and if you don't like it, move on. If you are concerned about appearances, and it sounds like you are a little bit, it will look stupid to order something at a bar that surprises you and that you find undrinkable.

Based on what you have said, I would avoid getting bourbon or scotch, as I doubt you will like them -- they are not starter drinks, and you are less about refining your taste than you are about being sociable. And just to be a troublemaker, nothing screams d'bag like someone ordering a particular brand of bourbon or scotch, sipping at it slowly, and looking around like they deserve a medal for their refined taste. Except maybe doing that and not finishing.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 12:48 PM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Bourbon or scotch on the rocks. It's damn good and definitely manly. Cocktails are for people who are just trying to get drunk (not that there's anything wrong with that! I go with vodka-cranberry or bourbon-diet coke if that's myh goal.)
posted by callmejay at 12:50 PM on April 25, 2008

One more plea for beer: it's definitely more sociable to the extent that it's amenable to ordering by rounds, or sharing by way of a pitcher. Also, order something that's on draft, especially a microbrew, and expect to get questions about whether it's any good.

Or order a bourbon or scotch, clear your throat a few times, and start blathering about peaty this and casky that.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 1:17 PM on April 25, 2008

If we are worried about what is perceived to be masculine, then on the subject of hefeweizens, I certainly don't approve when bar staff put lemon slices in mine.
posted by galaksit at 1:52 PM on April 25, 2008

"Seriously, people are suggesting straight whiskey and bourbon for a new drinker?"

Well, no, I was saying that he might like rye or Canadian blended more than bourbon, but I stick by my recommendation to drink brown liquor relatively unadorned.

Also, while a "Godfather" (which is scotch with a dash of amaretto) has a manly name and is pretty tasty, it's apparently a gay signifier. I still order 'em, especially at bars where both their scotch and amaretto are well, but it's something to be aware of.
posted by klangklangston at 2:01 PM on April 25, 2008

Not that there's not enough advice here already, but you could also check out this website: http://www.barmixmaster.com/index.htm

Read all of the "sticky posts" linked on the side. A quote from the "Bar Fear" post:
If there is one thing that I hope my blog does here it is to alleviate what I call bar fear. Bar fear is experienced when people are too afraid to place an order for a drink because they are scared of what they will get. After all, it could be something you don't like. People like this tend to order beer or wine because they know what they are getting.

IMHO, an awesome introduction to *appreciating* drinks.
posted by INTPLibrarian at 2:02 PM on April 25, 2008

"If we are worried about what is perceived to be masculine, then on the subject of hefeweizens, I certainly don't approve when bar staff put lemon slices in mine."

A good hefe should have a subtle citrus taste on its own; the reason that lemons or oranges are put into hefes is to disguise the skunked taste that they can pick up pretty quickly.
posted by klangklangston at 2:02 PM on April 25, 2008

To drive the point home (though it likely already has been), a martini is a drinker's drink, not a social drink. I love them, personally, but it's the only drink I approach with wariness and a grudging respect for its potency. And, well, I've had 'em all.

If you're willing to take a bit of time getting to know and appreciate good alcohol along the way, saladin's advice is spot-on. Bourbon, Irish whiskey, and single-malt scotch are all acquired tastes, but after taking the time to acquire them, you'd be surprised at how enjoyable and interesting they can be to experience.

I would actually say the same thing about beer. Initially, your pallet won't be especially sensitive to the different variations of beers you can choose from. But over time, you'll be overwhelmed (hopefully in a good way) but the subtle nuances in the wide spectrum of beers available to you.

To me, if you're not looking for the buzz/drunk aspect of drinking, you may as well take the approach of appreciating what you drink. That way, whether you're out with your friends or on your own, you can still enjoy those moments of, "Damn, that's a fine scotch!"
posted by Brak at 2:39 PM on April 25, 2008

If you're in an Irish bar, it gets simple. A shot of Irish whiskey and a beer. Whisket burns a little served neat -- I always add a splash of water, which I find brings out the flavor. Unlike a lot of alcohols, where the most popular brand is also pretty dreadful, Jamison is actualy quite good, and, from there on up, it starts getting heavenly. I particularly like Red Breast and Black Bush, but there are a lot of Irish whiskeys out there, and they are great fun to try. Additionally, Irish whiskey tends to be a bit sweet, and lacks the boggy peat quality of Scotch, which many new drinkers don't enjoy.

As for beer, well, there's a lot of Irish beers. You already like Guinness, so you're off to a good start. If you're in the mood for a lighter beer, you'll almost always find Harp lager. Somewhere in the middle you'll find ales, such as Smithwick's, Macardle's, and Cherry's, which the better pubs may carry.

Mix a Stout and a Lager and you have a black and tan. If the bartender knows what they're doing, they'll pour carefully over a spoon, so the two drinks remain seperated by their different relative densities. So it's also a floor show!
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:49 PM on April 25, 2008

Try a Sidecar.

It's brandy, Cointreau (triple sec), lemon juice, and sometimes a splash of simple syrup (a teensy bit of OJ is also a good addition).
Metaxa is a good choice for the brandy, and it's also tasty with a bourbon like Maker's Mark.

I rarely do mixed drinks, but I really enjoy one of these occasionally - not too sweet, not too hot, and as a former bartender, I would say that on a scale of one to girlie, they only rate about a 3. If this is a concern (you should drink what tastes good), maybe ask for it without the sugar rim or on the rocks.
posted by Prevailing Southwest at 3:04 PM on April 25, 2008

I can't believe nobody has submitted extratasty, which is like a cross between myspace and del.icio.us for alcoholics. There you can learn about all kinds of exciting, tasty new ways to savage your liver.
posted by mullingitover at 3:04 PM on April 25, 2008

For a nice cocktail that's limey and sweet without being girly, the gin and tonic with lime can't be beat. They can be strong though, and are so tasty and such a small volume that it might be easy to go through them faster than you want to. (yum)

If you're at a Mexican place, get a regular margarita with salt - they're fantastically tasty.

But really, for a whole evening's very gentle buzz but always having something to do with your hands, you want beer. Bud et al are ok at a baseball game or other hot summer event, where you basically want weakly alcoholic water. But if you're in a bar, try something more interesting tasting. Beers vary a lot, so you need to explore a bit. You may find that one class of beers have a bitter aftertaste that you hate, but another class has a sweet taste you love. So, try representatives from the different classes of beer.

Beer Advocate is a good starting place; they have lists of beers by type, so if you try a beer you can look it up there and find others that might be similar. You can gradually get a sense of what you like, so eventually you'll be saying to the bartender "what do you have on tap that's not too hoppy?" or the like.

For starters I agree with the above suggestions:
Blue Moon (great for anytime, light-tasting)
Paulaner Hefewizen (great for hot days)
Newcastle Brown Ale (great for anytime, a bit heavier taste)
Guinness (very heavy, almost like a meal, great for cold days)

Someone above mentioned hard ciders; they are VERY tasty, so you may find yourself drinking more than you mean to.

You could also try a "beer cocktail" -- a black and tan (dark beer plus lighter beer, which sit separately because of density differences) is fun; a snakebite is tasty and a little manlier maybe than just cider.
posted by LobsterMitten at 3:53 PM on April 25, 2008

In my experience, caipirinhas are fantastically good on a hot day and not girly at all, but they do have two drawbacks:
You have to keep track of how many you have more closely because they will sneak up on you. Also, the bartender will give you the stink eye for having to smash that up, unless it's a place where that's the common thing, like a Brazilian restaurant/club. Tip well.

As far as taste goes, I don't like mixed drinks (liquor + mixer) in general. I do like most straight whiskeys. If you get one on the rocks, you can let the ice melt a bit to weaken it up. I don't like the taste as much if I do that, but if you're not used to drinking, straight bourbon may be a bit much.
posted by ctmf at 4:52 PM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Try an Old Fashioned. It's a seriously old-school (possibly retro-modern) drink that doesn't sound girly, but is smoother than most manly drinks. Part of the fun of ordering it is determining whether the bartender can make a decent one. It also may raise a few eyebrows for those paying attention.
posted by jabberjaw at 4:58 PM on April 25, 2008

I'm just a regular guy, who just wanted to stay away from anything that is unofficially/strictly for girls. Just don't want to get the 'r u kidding me?' look from bartender/other.

Look, I've worked extensively as a bartender, and the bartender doesn't care what you order, they just care if you like it. There isn't a drink in the world which, when ordered, will cause the revocation of your license to carry a penis. Experiment with whatever in this thread sounds interesting to you, and once you find some drinks you dig, order them without reservation. You're paying for a drink at a bar, which is not cheap, so order what you like...if you think a Sea Breeze is the most heavenly thing that's ever crossed your lips, then by God order it with relish and enjoy it. Besides, who cares what that schmuck at the end of the bar who never orders anything but Miller Lite thinks?
posted by baphomet at 5:34 PM on April 25, 2008

Drinking straight whiskey isn't something that your average beginning social drinker will enjoy IMO.

Nothing is better than a Mojito in the summer.

Try a Singapore Sling. It is one tasty concoction. It is bright red, so maybe not too manly, but you won't care if you are drinking a well made Sling.

I also enjoy the Tom Collins, the Seven and Seven, and the occasional Rum and Coke.
posted by clearly at 5:35 PM on April 25, 2008

I gotta say, I'm kind of amused at the whole "girly!"/"not girly!" thing ... since the person who taught me all about microbeers and local brews was, in fact, a college gal with a discerning tongue (okay, esophagus, since she took 'em down pretty quickly), and the only person I've ever seen drink Scotch is my aunt, a 57-year-old lady who comes home and makes herself a glass or two on the rocks several times a week after work, or whenever she goes out. Methinks they could both drink you under the table, Whiz, so howzabout you stop worrying about your manly image and just drink what you like? :) The projection of self-confidence and bar knowledge will do you a lot better than ordering a bourbon, I'm guessing, even if you do order a fuzzy navel or something with a flamingo.
posted by bettafish at 6:48 PM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

If you just want to look like you are drinking, may I suggest a glass of club soda with a wedge of lime. No one will suspect there's no booze in it.
posted by sid at 7:22 PM on April 25, 2008

may I suggest a glass of club soda with a wedge of lime.

In a highball glass. Club Soda + highball glass + lime wedge = the date rapist special.

OP: If you really just want to be a very casual social drinker I don't think the advice with regard to scotch and bourbon is going to help you much. They taste like muddy turpentine until you acquire the taste (read: your body starts associating them with getting inebriated). I really think you're best off just getting a rum and coke.

Rum and coke is easy to drink, tastes decent, not girly, dirt cheap.
posted by Justinian at 7:46 PM on April 25, 2008

I don't believe nobody has mentioned this.

The Vodka special (at least that is what it is called here; not saying its not a regional name): Vodka, Lime Juice, Seven Up. Usually over lots of ice. Great for thirst, the vodka really brings out the citrus - don't drink them when you are really thirsty though because they are really satisfying to thirst and you'll pound a bunch of them (or order one with a glass of water too). Vodka and Seven Up, Vodka and Lime are also very good.

White Russians, and the Vodka paralyzer (that might be a regional name too); but the ingredients escape me. Spin the yarn that Peter the Great used to make his foriegn service drink a bottle of vodka to see if they could maintain themselves while drunk; a desired attribute in someone you trust with state secrets.

Gin and Tonic is a good suggestion -- when ordering, make lots of jokes about how you need it to prevent malaria. That is an exclusive joke for a rarefied audience.

I don't think you will like straight whiskey (be it scotch, rye ("canadian whisky") bourbon) or other things like brandy, or martinis until you mature as a drinker. If you should be feeling adventurous and are ordering a single-malt scotch, for the love of the gods, don't get it with water. If you like Scotch and water, just get a cheap scotch. Same goes for anything you mix with coke.

Novice drinkers tend to prefer sweet rather than dry wines, although their palate will normally become drier.

Cheap, mass-produced lagers like Budweiser, or Molson Canadian are meant to be served very very cold and tend to taste quite bad when they get towards room temperature. Another thing to keep in mind about "import" beers is that Molson Canadian, Labatt Blue, Corona, Sol, Heineken, Stella Artois, and Guinness (but Guinness is good for you) are just mass-produced, common beers from other countries - so beer snobbery is a bit of a wankery (true premium beers are brewed by people like Belgian monks and cost like $8 bottle); drink whatever beer you find tastes good and fully expect someone else to tell you its piss beer ("your favourite beer sucks"). . Also you might as well drink the cheap draft after your second pint or so, no matter what your bankroll... Finally a phenomenon I have never understood is that the version of Miller Genuine Draft sold in Canada tastes waaaaaaay better than the US version it is supposed to copy.

If anyone gives you a hard time for ordering an umbrella drink, just remember that Hemingway loved them. You haven't lived until you are drinking them by a pool, ocean or other body of water on a hot day.

Finally, the graceful way to avoid getting too drunk is to eat while you are drinking (though a lot of true dives don't serve food) or make a joke that you seem to be a "cheap date" tonight and slow down a bit. Alternating your drinks with water tends to help in this respect too...
posted by Deep Dish at 10:14 PM on April 25, 2008

Molson Canadian, Labatt Blue, Corona, Sol, Heineken, Stella Artois, and Guinness (but Guinness is good for you) are just mass-produced, common beers from other countries - so beer snobbery is a bit of a wankery

I think you're off the mark. None of the beer snobs I know think that those are great beers or are biased against domestic beer. I mostly drink American microbrews.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:48 PM on April 25, 2008

Stella Artois, and Guinness

Sure the other beers you listed are pretty poor, but do a side-by-side of Miller Lite and either of these and tell me which ones actually taste like beer. If you think their quantity of production has anything to do with quality, you're sadly mistaken. The reason Bud and Miller taste awful isn't that they're mass produced, although this is a common accusation leveled at them- they taste awful because they're simply shitty beer that bears little resemblance to the real thing.
posted by baphomet at 6:27 AM on April 26, 2008

Stella, while high-brow in the U.S. is called wife beater in the UK.

One man's PBR is another's....
posted by k8t at 6:36 AM on April 26, 2008

You said you wanted something that won't get you drunk. Bourbon is perfect for that. Why? Because, unlike every other drink suggested in this thread, bourbon will punish you for drinking it too quickly.

My boyfriend and his male friends get extremely drunk on straight whiskey and bourbon (frequently Maker's) once a week or more. I have in fact seen more guys get totally shitfaced on straight whiskey than on any other alcohol. It also tends to cost more than $7 a drink as often as it cost $7 or less here in Manhattan.
Don't let anyone try to tell you that you can't drink lite crappy American beer. If you find it inoffensive and enjoyable, drink it, don't let a bunch of insufferable beer snobs make you feel bad about it.
But seriously, you're a dude going to bars. Drink what your friends are drinking until you find what you like. A lot of my male friends bond over drinking the same sort of thing (see: straight whiskey, sometimes gin, crappy american beer, one memorable night vodka martinis). Anything out there can make you drunk if you drink enough of it, so if you want to avoid drunkenness be sure to eat something before you drink and have a glass of water between rounds.
posted by ch1x0r at 9:10 AM on April 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sure the other beers you listed are pretty poor, but do a side-by-side of Miller Lite and either of these and tell me which ones actually taste like beer. If you think their quantity of production has anything to do with quality, you're sadly mistaken.

I never said I didn't like them; I am just saying that a lot of people are going to pitch crap about them being posh beers when in reality they are just common beers from other countries - see k8t's comment...

So I am saying drink all the crappy you beer you want, and don't fret about it.

Also I have to mention my exposure to American beers is very limited, so I am a bit out of my element.
posted by Deep Dish at 9:35 AM on April 26, 2008

I think most people are saying, as I was, that most common mass-produced American beers have a similar taste that many people don't like, and many Americans think that is what beer is supposed to taste like. Other beers, both American and imported, taste different and it is worthwhile for someone who thinks they don't like beer to try different kinds of beer, both American and not to see if it is beer they don't like, or just Bud/Coors/Michelob/PBR.
posted by hydropsyche at 9:40 AM on April 26, 2008

I always use this site as evidence that beer snobs really don't like beer.
posted by Deep Dish at 9:46 AM on April 26, 2008

They like good beer.
posted by smackfu at 1:18 PM on April 26, 2008

I never said I didn't like them; I am just saying that a lot of people are going to pitch crap about them being posh beers when in reality they are just common beers from other countries

This is becoming a derail, but again, nobody who's really into beer would be under the illusion that the beers you named are anything special. So saying "Stella and Corona aren't that great so beer snobbery is BS" doesn't make sense. You're right, they aren't that great, and nobody really thinks they are, as that ratebeer link confirms. Which isn't to say that Stella is not preferable to Bud light, it's just not really a connoisseur's beer.
posted by ludwig_van at 1:57 PM on April 26, 2008

Red Snapper = Crown, Amaretto, Cranberry
Washington Red Apple = Crown, Apple Pucker, Cranberry
Sam Adams Cherry Wheat
Sea Dog BlueBerry Wheat
posted by Rolandkorn at 2:42 PM on April 27, 2008

(111 comments total)

wow..... Thanks everyone, for their input.
posted by WizKid at 8:30 AM on April 29, 2008

If you like sweet drinks, I'm sorry but saladin's advice is really horrible. The only reason to drink bourbon neat is if you want to appreciate it on its own. Personally, I think this does not lend itself to a social setting for a variety of reasons:

• You have to sip the bourbon if he goal is to be avoid getting drunk and saving money. Keep in mind that if you're getting it neat, you're getting max 1.5 oz of something to drink.
• If the other people are harder drinkers or drunks, they will probably give you a hard time about only have the one drink and nursing it slowly (although some may admire you for the choice itself). On the other hand, you can be drinking the same amount of alcohol, diluted, from a giant glass and they won't bug you about drinking more.
• For a novice drinker, bourbon usually tastes awful. You have to get used to the flavor. Obviously, it's possible, but it requires multiple exposures which means you actually need to drink it a bunch of times before you can enjoy it. Personally, it took me a while to enjoy any kind of liquor straight. If you want to go that route I'd recommend scotch whiskey with just a splash of water, which I personally found a little easier to take, for some reason (but still something hard to drink quickly).

The only danger comes from chugging the drink. So long as you understand that you're drinking something that is alcoholic and treat it differently than just a soda, go ahead and get a mixed drink. In fact, why not start out with what I think is called a tall drink -- effectively, you get a standard bourbon and coke, say, but instead of 50/50 or so, you have them put one part in a 16 oz glass and fill the rest with cola. I think you end up with a cola with a nice faint bourbon flavor. It's tasty, each sip is low in alcohol, and with conscious care you can nurse it just as easily as neat bourbon. The main benefit, it is really, really tasty. Basically, it tastes like cola with only the slightest hint of something alcoholic. I'm not sure how "manly" ordering a tall is, but it definitely isn't girly. Excellent, equally macho variations are bourbon and ginger and bourbon and sprite (I rarely see the last one being drunk by many people but I assure you it's an excellent flavor combo).

If you think you are likely to drink quickly if you can't taste the booze, steer away from Long Island Iced Teas. Despite being very alcoholic they have very little flavor and go down incredibly smoothly. One drink, if it follows the official specs, will have the same alcohol as 4-5 drinks. That said, if you ever do want to get drunk, they are usually cheap and for anyone who enjoys sweet drinks, tasty.
posted by Deathalicious at 10:41 PM on January 4