kiss and told. Now what?
December 17, 2007 2:55 AM Subscribe
2 months before the wedding. Fiance kissed another man while drunk. Told me about it. Now what?
posted by anonymous to human relations (76 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
She had confessed to having a crush on a co-worker a few months ago, but after talking about it with me seemed to be over it. However, tonight was her office's xmas party which I did not attend. She came home really hammered and told me that she kissed this co-worker at the party. Apparently, she pulled him into a bathroom to ask him why he was ignoring her, one thing led to another and they kissed a few times. They then talked about a sexual tension between them, but she said she loved me and he said he loved his fiance and that was the end of it (as far as I know). They were both drunk at the time.
I am very pissed off about this and but I feel very conflicted about it at the same time. I mean on the scale of cheating, kissing someone is below fucking them, but it was still a betrayal of my trust. One minute I feel like I could forgive her and the next minute I think that there's no way I'll be able to trust her again BUT she was at least honest enough to tell me right away and was very contrite about it BUT she initiated the whole thing. ARGH!
This is the first time something like this has happened and we've been together about 9 years now. I feel like I need some outside advice on how serious a betrayal this is - as the wedding date has gotten closer she's gone from being happy about it to somewhat "blah", so this might be just jitters(?), I don't know, but now I am just disappointed and disgusted, mostly because it was with some guy she had already said she was over - and I trusted her about that and look where it got me.
In your opinions, how serious is this? If I called off the wedding or broke up with her would I be over-reacting?