Gay BF in NYC

July 28, 2007 2:10 PM

What's the best way to find a boyfriend (gay) / Cuddle buddy in New York?
posted by seeminglee to human relations (9 answers total)

There have got to be a lot of gay bars in NYC. Gay people go there.
posted by GleepGlop at 2:39 PM on July 28, 2007

You could try Craigslist. They have personals for romance AND for platonic; I imagine you could find a happy medium there, too.
posted by headspace at 2:46 PM on July 28, 2007

Do the things you like to do and go to the places you like to visit. Join a club or organization or church of like-minded folk. You'll find good "candidates" there. Be yourself.

There isn't a "secret formula," whether you're gay or straight on in New York or anywhere else. We've answered this sort of question many times before. If you need more specific advice, perhaps you could give more specific details about your situation.
posted by Robert Angelo at 2:50 PM on July 28, 2007

Gay, straight, or otherwise, it would be useful to know the answer to the question, "what have you already tried?"
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:39 PM on July 28, 2007

Do the things you like to do and go to the places you like to visit. Join a club or organization or church of like-minded folk. You'll find good "candidates" there. Be yourself.

You’re aware that for lots and lots of people that doesn’t work? In which case, don’t be dismissive. If you’re not aware, well, ‘that advice doesn’t work’ should also be reason enough not to be dismissive. Please to supply me with details of single women into Emacs Lisp or Tajik in Berlin if I’m wrong, kthxbye.
posted by Aidan Kehoe at 5:01 PM on July 28, 2007

come to a meetup.
posted by Stynxno at 5:44 PM on July 28, 2007

Please to supply me with details of single women into Emacs Lisp or Tajik in Berlin if I’m wrong, kthxbye.

Being yourself is not the same as your hobbies or interests, actually. That is something that people have to learn in order to be able to have relationships with other people. While it is true that many people meet up in the context of their hobby or interest of choice, they "hook up" based on compatible personalities and chemistry.

All that said, I find it is often very hard to just meet people.

That's what the internet is excellent for. I heartily recommend OkCupid. You answer loads of questions regarding yourself and a potential mate. I met my girlfriend through that site (the site is also gay and bi friendly). I sent her an email because we were 84% compatible. It continues to surprise (and please) me how well we get along and how natural it feels to be with her.

If the OP is a moderately good looking and intelligent person he should get scads of messages from eligible bachelors within a matter of days.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:07 AM on July 29, 2007

Haha--

This s incredible! I have been using the Internet for dating for more than a decade (in fact I started 17 years ago on the BBS!) and you guys have absolutely the BEST answers!

I noted that I should probably give some background info before I put the post up. So here it is--tada--my reviews for the world of M4M:

Here are my reviews of all the site that I have used (I believe in casting the net on the Net) :)

AOL: Everyone knows the GayOL is the best place for anything gay. However, after AOL launches the online model and not provide the oh-so-popular chatroom features (to save bandwidth?!) it's no longer that great.

AOL / Match.com: I used Match.com back in 1998. I liked it then. I guess I should explore this option a little bit more.

Craigslist: Again, great of sex but fairly tricky to write the prize essay. Men don't seem to respond to wit--while it appears to me that if I post a sleazy ad and then write a witty email, I can get better ROI--but that's not honest. I don't like that. Worst of all--way too many pic collectors and people who claim that it is "too late" a minute after they received your photos.

DList: Still navigating my way through this one.

Gay.com: Very useless. Too many bots. Sluggish Java client.

GayCupid: Useless.

Gay Romeo: Very good for international dating. Fairly useless in the States.

Guys4men: Met many nice guys here. Text-based web site. Very efficient. This is my primary site for dating purposes. Alas, they don't get enough traffic. Like many other sites, it tends to favor new members and so it's not very efficient after your first few months.

ManHunt: Great for sex but not really much LTR leads here.

M4M4Sex: Cute illustration. Useless information + UI design.

Men4Now: Useless.

Men4Sex: Useless search engines.

My Gaydar: Arguably the best dating site but useful only if you just joined.

SilverDaddies: Interesting site, with people who actually use their real age. Very honest bunch. Nice people, but difficult to go beyond "messages".

UseNet / Newsgroups: Back in the day, if you post a personals ad on the Internet, you're bound to find the intellectuals because it's not a commodity. But now it's useless.
posted by seeminglee at 6:34 PM on August 12, 2007

But while I am very efficient in performing analysis of M4M sites--I even created Compete.com profiles on this site to see which site has the most traffic so I can gain the most:

http://siteanalytics.compete.com/manhunt.net+guys4men.com+silverdaddies.com?metric=uv
(which is *very* interesting)

But the secret formula to finding that special guy who is so crazy as I am (http://CrazyIsGood.com) is far and few between!

Cheers,
See-ming
posted by seeminglee at 6:37 PM on August 12, 2007