My boyfriend is on the verge of a psychotic breakdown and I don't know how to help him.
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (74 answers total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
I started to write this question much differently and not anonymously. The question at first was how to help a worrier, but really the problem is much more than that. I have been dating my boyfriend “John” for almost four years. We bought a house together, bought vehicles together and everything is going pretty well. That is when he is not crazy.
Long story short: He thinks he is going to lose his job, thus we are going to lose the house, thus he must kill himself.
Long version below:
He has always been a little crazy and had some issues, but it was the kind of crazy that was endearing and the kind of issues that seemed that a good solid relationship would fix. He had abandonment issues, was depressed, would sabotage good things before they could go bad on him. But we were working through those things. He was a severe alcoholic and would go on crazy rages, breaking things. He has been sober for about 6 months now and its not getting better, its getting worse.
He landed a job in which he is earning a whole lot more than he has ever made and he doesn’t think he deserves it. So he set about trying to make sure he did well and that’s where the problem started. He tried one of my brother’s Adderalls and like what it did for him. He went to a couple of doctors seeking it out. The first told him that he sounded depressed and wanted to start him on antidepressants first. John, stood up and screamed “Fuck You!” and stormed out. Not exactly, productive. He has managed to get a prescription, he tells his doc he needs more, they prescribe a higher dosage, he tells them he lost his prescription they give him more. He routinely takes 5-10x his prescribed dosage. Routinely. The last two months he has been working 100+ hours work weeks. He works from home, as do I for the most part, so I see it.
He does not eat, he does not sleep, I don’t know how he’s not dead. He will work for 36 hours straight and sleep for three. I make him food, he takes a couple of bites and ignores it. He will smoke 3 packs a day and drink a case of Dr. Pepper. That with the insane amount of Adderall is really really going to kill him.
Then, something goes wrong at work. Inevitably, after working those kinds of hours, a part of his code will be wonky. Then he gets crazy. Starts sweating, shaking, hyperventilating, calling his bosses foul, foul names, saying they are out to get him, punching holes in the wall, destroying his laptop, his monitors, knocking the door off the hinges, asking what we have in the house that he can just take and not wake up. In the last month we have bought three keyboards, two mice, two monitors, and one laptop after he destroyed them in rages.
Then he will seemingly calm down, only to do something like go find where it is you get gun permits around here. It is absolutely insane. He does not get even in moments of lucidity that having to sell the house or the trucks and move into an apartment is not the last thing in the world. Ok, here is another weird part. I know this is long, but since I can’t respond, I want to be as detailed as possible. We share a computer, so I know what goes on for the most part. Every year or so, I would see evidence that he looked at a little porn while I was asleep. I don’t have a problem with it, but lately, he is looking at it almost every night and since he is so unhealthy now that he is not getting an erection, but he will still sit there at masturbate for up to 16 hours that he told me to once. The porn itself is getting kinkier and kinkier. I am no prude, so for me to think something is kinky, its pretty intense. It might be just another aspect of addictive behavior.
Ok, question time, how much adderall would it take to die? Male/31. How do I help him cope with the worry about his job? When do you take suicidal threats as an immediate threat and call the police/fire department/EMT? I just don’t know how to handle the practical (how to get him to eat enough calories/stop taking so much speed) to the more intense of what to do if does have heart attack or hurts himself. Any anecdotal experience would be great.