Internet Advice Advice
July 14, 2006 12:32 PM Subscribe
AskMe Reunion Special: Curious about internet advice
While this might be too meta, I thought it belonged on AskMe instead of MeTalk. I want to hear peoples advice/experience on taking advice.
After asking my own relationship advice question (http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/40251), I was just thinking
How often do AskMe posters take the advice they're given?
How succesful were they with the AskMe (or other anonymous internet service) advice?
What is the end result of the relationship, months later?
Did the advice help?
I've always noticed when I give friends advice, they always end up doing what they were going to do anyways, and often just wanted someone to reaffirm their beliefs.
Does this phenomenom apply to the advice you get when you post online?
I'm personally interested specifically in romantic relationship advice since thats the topic people are most likely to act on their emotions and not rational thoughts/advice.
While this might be too meta, I thought it belonged on AskMe instead of MeTalk. I want to hear peoples advice/experience on taking advice.
After asking my own relationship advice question (http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/40251), I was just thinking
How often do AskMe posters take the advice they're given?
How succesful were they with the AskMe (or other anonymous internet service) advice?
What is the end result of the relationship, months later?
Did the advice help?
I've always noticed when I give friends advice, they always end up doing what they were going to do anyways, and often just wanted someone to reaffirm their beliefs.
Does this phenomenom apply to the advice you get when you post online?
I'm personally interested specifically in romantic relationship advice since thats the topic people are most likely to act on their emotions and not rational thoughts/advice.
This post was deleted for the following reason: this IS too meta, please take to metatalk, thank you.
Why don't you go first, ZackTM?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:15 PM on July 14, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:15 PM on July 14, 2006 [1 favorite]
I thought it belonged on AskMe instead of MeTalk
why?
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:22 PM on July 14, 2006
why?
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:22 PM on July 14, 2006
Response by poster: Oh, I'm looking for personal experiences rather than statistics. I personally love reading all the different perspectives on AskMe, and value it. Thats why I posted (and read the answers). I was just thinking that for a vast majority of posts of this nature, we never get to hear the end of the story.
I didnt post my results at first because its more of an answer than a question. But you asked for it!
As for me, the advice that benefited me the most was the advice that reassured me that my behavior was borderline normal. I was stressed out because I thought I must be goin nuts but since other people suggested that it was 'early relationship jitters' I felt reassured. The birthday night, I went out and was relaxed and happy as could be. I took a couple valerian root supplements (probably more of a placebo than anything, but I swear it really helped me deal with the anxiety) and enjoyed the company of her older sister and a few of my friends who happened to be at the bar. Actually had a really good time, and let her wander the entire night without following like a puppy.
And that actually pissed her off too. Apparently I was supposed to strike a happy medium which I didn't find. (Women drive me crazy sometimes hehe)
We ended up taking a 'break' about a week and a half later. We concluded that we basically rushed into a serious relationship before we'd built up the 'trust' that normally comes from getting to know someone during the first few months. 'DONT rush into anything' is going to be my new mantra. Breaks still going though, and it's basically permanent. Perhaps I asked for advice a couple days too late!
So enough about me (this question is not about me), lets hear some more peoples results and experiences!
posted by ZackTM at 1:40 PM on July 14, 2006
I didnt post my results at first because its more of an answer than a question. But you asked for it!
As for me, the advice that benefited me the most was the advice that reassured me that my behavior was borderline normal. I was stressed out because I thought I must be goin nuts but since other people suggested that it was 'early relationship jitters' I felt reassured. The birthday night, I went out and was relaxed and happy as could be. I took a couple valerian root supplements (probably more of a placebo than anything, but I swear it really helped me deal with the anxiety) and enjoyed the company of her older sister and a few of my friends who happened to be at the bar. Actually had a really good time, and let her wander the entire night without following like a puppy.
And that actually pissed her off too. Apparently I was supposed to strike a happy medium which I didn't find. (Women drive me crazy sometimes hehe)
We ended up taking a 'break' about a week and a half later. We concluded that we basically rushed into a serious relationship before we'd built up the 'trust' that normally comes from getting to know someone during the first few months. 'DONT rush into anything' is going to be my new mantra. Breaks still going though, and it's basically permanent. Perhaps I asked for advice a couple days too late!
So enough about me (this question is not about me), lets hear some more peoples results and experiences!
posted by ZackTM at 1:40 PM on July 14, 2006
Perhaps not very romantic, although that might depend on your perspective.... but I have purchased a gas clothes dryer, had several tasty meals in Portland, learned how to saw off a toilet bolt and decided against building a giant radiometer on the roof of my house -- all based on AskMe advice.
posted by spilon at 1:44 PM on July 14, 2006
posted by spilon at 1:44 PM on July 14, 2006
cheers ZackTM, sorry to hear you're 'on leave' so to speak. meh, it happens.
I personally found all the varied and well-considered responses to my posting really helped me to think thru my own situation with a lot more perspective. It didn't change my mind so much as make the eventual confrontation a lot easier to handle. And it also kind of reassured me that this was not as creepy and unusual as I'd originally thought.
I don't know that I came to MeFi seeking a hard *answer* so much as some direction, validation and reassurance. That I got in spades, which in my case is a tremendous help, as when it comes to human relations / relationships / social issues, I'm pretty much a walking disaster area.
posted by lonefrontranger at 2:09 PM on July 14, 2006
I personally found all the varied and well-considered responses to my posting really helped me to think thru my own situation with a lot more perspective. It didn't change my mind so much as make the eventual confrontation a lot easier to handle. And it also kind of reassured me that this was not as creepy and unusual as I'd originally thought.
I don't know that I came to MeFi seeking a hard *answer* so much as some direction, validation and reassurance. That I got in spades, which in my case is a tremendous help, as when it comes to human relations / relationships / social issues, I'm pretty much a walking disaster area.
posted by lonefrontranger at 2:09 PM on July 14, 2006
This thread is closed to new comments.
In other words, statistics about advice are meaningless, since the advice simply helps better inform the decision.
posted by trevyn at 1:11 PM on July 14, 2006