Ok.This is getting ridiculous. I need suggestions for a good ally shirt
June 7, 2023 4:23 PM Subscribe
I am looking for an appropriate LGBTQ ally shirt.
I'm a middle aged, CIS gender, straight mom with a few straight kids. I had an uncle who for decades lived without love or being able to be himself because he was 100% in the closet. Even as a kid, it sorta tore me up. Even though I wasn't gay and it never personally affected me, I really was and am so happy how far things had changed in the last 30 years.
The slide backwards is really distressing to me.
I'd like to wear a T-shirt that expresses my feelings, but I know all this stuff is complicated, and don't want to offend the folks I want to support. But I also don't like to walk around with pollyanna "preachy" shirts and the only people I want to eye roll or ire are close-minded homophobes.
I want it for just day to day kind of wear but also for Provincetown carnival. We will be in Provincetown coincidently that week on vacation and we will be going to the parade.
Can I wear a shirt? Any suggestions for shirts/signs you've seen that I, a sarcastic Masshole might wear? I can make it or buy it. I'm a bit crafty.
I'm a middle aged, CIS gender, straight mom with a few straight kids. I had an uncle who for decades lived without love or being able to be himself because he was 100% in the closet. Even as a kid, it sorta tore me up. Even though I wasn't gay and it never personally affected me, I really was and am so happy how far things had changed in the last 30 years.
The slide backwards is really distressing to me.
I'd like to wear a T-shirt that expresses my feelings, but I know all this stuff is complicated, and don't want to offend the folks I want to support. But I also don't like to walk around with pollyanna "preachy" shirts and the only people I want to eye roll or ire are close-minded homophobes.
I want it for just day to day kind of wear but also for Provincetown carnival. We will be in Provincetown coincidently that week on vacation and we will be going to the parade.
Can I wear a shirt? Any suggestions for shirts/signs you've seen that I, a sarcastic Masshole might wear? I can make it or buy it. I'm a bit crafty.
Here are two of my favorites. I own the first shirt, and it is high quality. I would own the second, but I cannot be trusted with white clothing.
Y’all Means All
Don’t Mess With Trans Kids
posted by sacrifix at 4:53 PM on June 7, 2023 [5 favorites]
Y’all Means All
Don’t Mess With Trans Kids
posted by sacrifix at 4:53 PM on June 7, 2023 [5 favorites]
The Free Mom Hugs merch seems to be pretty big with allies at Pride events around here.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:10 PM on June 7, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 5:10 PM on June 7, 2023 [3 favorites]
don't want to offend the folks I want to support
I wouldn't worry too much about this. PFLAG is the always most popular group in the parade!
In fact, some PFLAG merch might be exactly what you're looking for.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 5:36 PM on June 7, 2023 [3 favorites]
I wouldn't worry too much about this. PFLAG is the always most popular group in the parade!
In fact, some PFLAG merch might be exactly what you're looking for.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 5:36 PM on June 7, 2023 [3 favorites]
Another option: Bien Supportive. Made for allies!
posted by skunk pig at 6:42 PM on June 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by skunk pig at 6:42 PM on June 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
Megemiko has some great Support trans kids shirts
And angiepea also has some great support/protect queer ppl shirts
As a nonbinary person, I desperately WANT to see cis allies acknowledging that they're paying attention and they care. Caring about queer folks human rights is accessible to everybody
posted by Geameade at 7:25 PM on June 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
And angiepea also has some great support/protect queer ppl shirts
As a nonbinary person, I desperately WANT to see cis allies acknowledging that they're paying attention and they care. Caring about queer folks human rights is accessible to everybody
posted by Geameade at 7:25 PM on June 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
Abide no hatred
Maybe some variation on ally cat
Leave trans kids alone fundraiser from a MA youth org
posted by the primroses were over at 7:32 PM on June 7, 2023
Maybe some variation on ally cat
Leave trans kids alone fundraiser from a MA youth org
posted by the primroses were over at 7:32 PM on June 7, 2023
I'm a fan of All Places Should Be Safe Spaces.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 9:55 PM on June 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 9:55 PM on June 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: If you're worried that you have to wear an ally-specific shirt or you are treading on boundaries, don't stress too much about that. We have bigger problems than this right now.
Some years ago I impulse-bought my husband a shirt at Target that was similar to this design (though a bit nicer), and it ended up being the perfect thing to wear while volunteering at voter registration drives and canvassing for progressive candidates around Los Angeles. There's a very specific "and I vote" feel about a city- or state-specific rainbow-coded shirt, which is actually the exact thing we need from allies right now.
One of the other things we need from allies right now is a willingness to be mis-perceived as queer. I feel like this was a significant factor in the previous wave of at least gay acceptance, in which bigots came to recognize they weren't only surrounded by other bigots and couldn't intimidate non-bigots anymore, and in fact there could be gay people anywhere and they'd best fucking shut it if they don't want it shut for them. We do actually need shirt-wearing, yard-signing, bumper-stickering bravery and a steely-cold reaction if Dave in Sales tries to intimidate you with queer-coded microaggressions.
Allowing confusion right now is solidarity. At this point in time, everyone is welcome to Be Gay Do Crimes in which the former can be metaphorical and the latter can be thoughtcrime. I wouldn't fault anyone for choosing something specifically in support of trans kids because they are in so much danger (but know that when you do that you're mom-coding and still looking like something maybe you're not, and that's fine), but right now "oh NO NO I'm not one of THEM" is unhelpful to the queer community even when you're trying to say "I don't want to take a spot that is rightfully yours." Be loud, be proud, be confusing to your neighbors and boss. This is one of the ways the work gets done.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:28 AM on June 8, 2023 [21 favorites]
Some years ago I impulse-bought my husband a shirt at Target that was similar to this design (though a bit nicer), and it ended up being the perfect thing to wear while volunteering at voter registration drives and canvassing for progressive candidates around Los Angeles. There's a very specific "and I vote" feel about a city- or state-specific rainbow-coded shirt, which is actually the exact thing we need from allies right now.
One of the other things we need from allies right now is a willingness to be mis-perceived as queer. I feel like this was a significant factor in the previous wave of at least gay acceptance, in which bigots came to recognize they weren't only surrounded by other bigots and couldn't intimidate non-bigots anymore, and in fact there could be gay people anywhere and they'd best fucking shut it if they don't want it shut for them. We do actually need shirt-wearing, yard-signing, bumper-stickering bravery and a steely-cold reaction if Dave in Sales tries to intimidate you with queer-coded microaggressions.
Allowing confusion right now is solidarity. At this point in time, everyone is welcome to Be Gay Do Crimes in which the former can be metaphorical and the latter can be thoughtcrime. I wouldn't fault anyone for choosing something specifically in support of trans kids because they are in so much danger (but know that when you do that you're mom-coding and still looking like something maybe you're not, and that's fine), but right now "oh NO NO I'm not one of THEM" is unhelpful to the queer community even when you're trying to say "I don't want to take a spot that is rightfully yours." Be loud, be proud, be confusing to your neighbors and boss. This is one of the ways the work gets done.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:28 AM on June 8, 2023 [21 favorites]
Queerencia is a a Black and LGBTQ+ owned brand that I just discovered. They have a “Proud Ally” shirt if you want to be clear that you’re an ally. I also like this “Say Gay” shirt. Lots of other cute stuff too!
posted by maleficent at 8:02 AM on June 8, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by maleficent at 8:02 AM on June 8, 2023 [1 favorite]
There’s this. If you google the expression there are lots of other websites that offer a shirt with this.
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 9:15 AM on June 8, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 9:15 AM on June 8, 2023 [3 favorites]
If you also like cats. And they donate part of the proceeds to LGBTQ+ non-profits.
posted by poppunkcat at 8:23 AM on June 9, 2023
posted by poppunkcat at 8:23 AM on June 9, 2023
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(They also have a truck shaped keychain that says Trans Rigs from a typo of trans rights that was made in a twitch chat months ago. Perfection.)
Maybe a little meta, but I like that it's simultaneously (1) stupid and (2) sincere and (3) says it all quite succinctly.
posted by phunniemee at 4:40 PM on June 7, 2023