Why would a man wear a penis ring in public?

March 25, 2023 5:54 AM

In the group shower at my pool, something shiny on another bather caught my eye. At a discreet moment, I looked over and it was a ring in the man's penis that was larger than a US quarter and the thickness of a pencil. In case it's relevant, he was a late middle-aged Japanese man who had the overall air of a former punk rocker. Just out of general curiosity, what might be his motivations?
posted by Jon44 to Society & Culture (14 answers total)

Same as piercing any other body part, people get these because they think they’re cool. Heavy gauge piercings can be hard to remove and sometimes need a tool to open them, so people often leave them in 100% of the time. They can also be part of someone’s sex life as they can increase sensitivity to that body part, or be used for certain acts (like pulling on them, or making it difficult to do whatever with whatever part- forced chastity can be part of someone’s sexuality). And some people like attention so they want their body modifications to be noticed. Also helps signal to other potential partners what kind of vibe they might be into.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 5:57 AM on March 25, 2023 [11 favorites]

Best answer: He was wearing it in public because it's a huge production to remove and then reinsert high-gauge piercings. They don't work like the small, thin captive rings for ears and nose that you might be familiar with - you need special pliers and maybe professional assistance, and it can be difficult to reinsert them successfully on your own. I once "lost" a (facial) piercing when I removed the ring myself and could not reinsert successfully.
posted by Frowner at 6:08 AM on March 25, 2023 [35 favorites]

Further - one reason that people like body modifications (tattoos, ear stretching, serious piercings) is precisely that they are more or less permanent adornment. I like mine because I hate fussing with jewelry every day but I like having jewelry on, so I have modifications that don't really require anything except showering.

And I would imagine that, aside from sexual or subcultural reasons for a penis ring, it's also a piercing that you can, like, wear at a job interview or a wedding and no one knows or cares, so you get the fun of having a piercing or tattoo but don't need to deal with social opprobrium. Some people like to get piercings and tattoos that are easy to hide and are only visible in specific social circumstances.

I feel like you're also asking whether it's some kind of fetish, etc, to wear a penis ring when you know you'll be in a gym shower. It could be, but even if it were, "I can only remove this with special pliers and an assistant" is the overriding factor. Once you have a high-gauge piercing, you're going to be wearing it virtually all the time.
posted by Frowner at 6:15 AM on March 25, 2023 [26 favorites]

Could be any number of reasons. I wouldn’t ascribe it to kink (as per your tag) so much as it being a thing he is used to wearing all the time and so he’s wearing it in the pool showers. Unless your pool is a cruising spot unbeknownst to you, it’s not really anyone’s business what kind of piercings and body mods folks have in typically clothed places while showering for the pool.

The folks I’ve known who have heavy gauge piercings are very deliberate about them. It’s not something you just kind of end up with. So he’s likely happy with the look and feel and is confident about it, same as if he had like, really nice abs or whatever. They are annoying to insert and remove at the size you describe, too, so he’s probably weighed the pros and cons of dealing with that compared to the risk of being ogled at briefly in the showers, and decided he’d rather just enjoy the pool.

As to why he has it in the first place? Well, it appears you’ve been on the internet long enough to gather a variety of ideas if you’re so inclined, and there’s no way for AskMe to provide more specificity. Most of the time it just boils down to enjoying self expression, though.
posted by Mizu at 6:23 AM on March 25, 2023 [3 favorites]

I don't think a shower, even communal shower, is "in public."

Most people who have "alternative" piercings (beyond earlobes) tend to leave the jewelry in full time unless absolutely necessary to remove. Skin can start to close up surprisingly quickly. High quality jewelry is constructed to resist falling out, making it difficult to remove. Furthermore, genital piercings are as much about self-identity and self-expression as any other piercing. Just because they are hidden under the clothes most of the time doesn't mean they are superficial or only about physical sensation (although that's definitely part of it). It's like getting a tattoo that's typically hidden under clothes.
posted by muddgirl at 6:32 AM on March 25, 2023 [11 favorites]

You might find the photos and discussions at r/piercing of interest if this is a new subject for you. (It's mostly ears and noses there, followed by lips and bellybuttons, with a much smaller NSFW component -- if you are looking for porn, there are better resources, including subreddits focused exclusively on appreciating pierced penises.)

Like others have said, there are any number of possible motivations for why he got the piercing in the first place, from sexual pleasure to rebellion to artistic expression to simply "I felt like it." And, like everyone has said, body piercings get left in place 24/7, so they will be present and visible in a public shower. It's not inappropriate to notice and to wonder, though obviously it would be inappropriate to stare or comment rudely.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:39 AM on March 25, 2023 [2 favorites]

You're talking about a cock ring that slips on rather than a piercing, right? It can just be jewelry, some people like the way it enhances their bulge, some like the way it feels.
posted by metasarah at 7:13 AM on March 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

Mod note: Comments removed. Per the Ask Metafilter Content Policy, please just stick to answering the OP's question, thank you.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 8:15 AM on March 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

Yeah for most body piercings "why are they wearing it to [place]" reduces to "why did they get it done in the first place". If you take it out for more than a couple minutes you stand a pretty good chance of not being able to put it back in. So if you like your piercing you generally leave something in there all the time.
posted by potrzebie at 8:37 AM on March 25, 2023 [2 favorites]

Is your expectation that he would remove it at the pool?

It’s just another body piercing, presumably for aesthetics or sensation or both. And most body piercings are much easier to leave in all the time, you don’t casually pop them out for an hour to swim.
posted by Stacey at 9:45 AM on March 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

I used to have pierced nipples. The jewelry never left my body, not once, for the ten years I had them. It’s not like earrings, man.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:53 AM on March 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

A communal shower is a place where people are naked. Naked shows permanent body modifications of body parts that are normally covered by clothing. Many people don’t even take out their normally visible piercings. I wear non-fashion earrings. They only ever come out when I clean them. I never take them out to shower. Why would he take out his piercings?
posted by koahiatamadl at 10:50 AM on March 25, 2023 [3 favorites]

This link runs down the main types of genital piercings, and also why people get them in general and also for each specific type.

For the non-piercing type of ring, this page has several people talking about why they like to wear them and how.

I can't vouch for the accuracy of either of those pages, but there you go . . .
posted by flug at 9:00 PM on March 25, 2023

I am unclear if you’re talking about a piercing or a cock ring. Why he’d have a piercing in is self-explanatory (you don’t really take them out at all), but if it was a cock ring then I would also assume it was because of a fetish, wether exhibitionism or submissiveness or what have you.
posted by lydhre at 9:09 AM on March 27, 2023