How to quell my anxiety around leaving my cats for eleven days.
August 2, 2022 5:37 PM Subscribe
I feel ridiculous, but I’m having a tough time relaxing and enjoying the prospect of travelling at the end of the month, because I’m worried, most likely for no reason, about my beloved cats. My anxiety currently revolves around my shy older cat not eating her food while we’re gone, and subsequently falling ill or dying, but I am pretty sure I’m projecting some imagined worst case, and not reality. How can I put my mind at ease and enjoy my impending trip?
My partner and I are travelling to Europe for eleven days and will leave our two cats at home. We went on a similarly long trip in 2019 and had someone come by in the morning, and a different friend come by in the evening, to feed them, clean their litter box, and say hello. Except for a couple of mornings when we’ll have a different person come by, the same two people will attend to the cats this month, so the cats have met these people before. In 2019, the morning friend never saw the calico, as she hides whenever anyone comes by who isn’t either me or my partner. In fact, most of our friends have never set eyes on the calico. Our tuxie is wary, but far less shy, and when we’re away she’ll be present for feedings and, eventually some petting. The evening cat sitter actually coaxed our sweet calico out from her hiding place on a couple occasions in 2019. I trust both people completely, and yet my brain is churning away.
Recently, we started feeding both cats only wet food, with occasional crunchy treats. This change occurred because the calico was throwing up her kibble pretty regularly; with the wet food, that’s almost completely stopped. Grand! But, if wet food is put out for both of them and the calico isn’t around, our tuxie will finish her own food and then eat our calico’s, too. That’s not an issue when I’m feeding them, of course. When I’m not, the sitter calls for the calico, and then eventually places the wet food on the floor in the bedroom, so the calico has a decent chance of eating while the tuxie eats in the regular spot in the kitchen. Our calico won’t decloak until the sitter has left, so it’s not 100% obvious she’s eating her food. We went on an overnight trip to the coast last week, and a friend fed them twice. Both times the calico hid. When we got home, I fed them dinner and the calico seemed quite content and didn’t even finish her food, which leads me to believe she almost assuredly ate when we were gone. My supposition is that she would’ve been quite hungry if she’d snubbed two feedings. This relieved me for about an hour, and then my monkey mind started up again. My partner understandably doesn’t want to be a part of my constant worries and I’m afraid I’m morphing into my mom, who won’t leave the house due to a slew of unfounded fears. How can I reign this in? I try mindfulness exercises, but they don’t work at 3:00am when I can’t sleep. The Meta Question is “How can I be less anxious in general?” but I’m keen on distilling that unwieldy question into a cat/vacation-based issue for now. Thanks for any useful thoughts or experiences you might have to share!
My partner and I are travelling to Europe for eleven days and will leave our two cats at home. We went on a similarly long trip in 2019 and had someone come by in the morning, and a different friend come by in the evening, to feed them, clean their litter box, and say hello. Except for a couple of mornings when we’ll have a different person come by, the same two people will attend to the cats this month, so the cats have met these people before. In 2019, the morning friend never saw the calico, as she hides whenever anyone comes by who isn’t either me or my partner. In fact, most of our friends have never set eyes on the calico. Our tuxie is wary, but far less shy, and when we’re away she’ll be present for feedings and, eventually some petting. The evening cat sitter actually coaxed our sweet calico out from her hiding place on a couple occasions in 2019. I trust both people completely, and yet my brain is churning away.
Recently, we started feeding both cats only wet food, with occasional crunchy treats. This change occurred because the calico was throwing up her kibble pretty regularly; with the wet food, that’s almost completely stopped. Grand! But, if wet food is put out for both of them and the calico isn’t around, our tuxie will finish her own food and then eat our calico’s, too. That’s not an issue when I’m feeding them, of course. When I’m not, the sitter calls for the calico, and then eventually places the wet food on the floor in the bedroom, so the calico has a decent chance of eating while the tuxie eats in the regular spot in the kitchen. Our calico won’t decloak until the sitter has left, so it’s not 100% obvious she’s eating her food. We went on an overnight trip to the coast last week, and a friend fed them twice. Both times the calico hid. When we got home, I fed them dinner and the calico seemed quite content and didn’t even finish her food, which leads me to believe she almost assuredly ate when we were gone. My supposition is that she would’ve been quite hungry if she’d snubbed two feedings. This relieved me for about an hour, and then my monkey mind started up again. My partner understandably doesn’t want to be a part of my constant worries and I’m afraid I’m morphing into my mom, who won’t leave the house due to a slew of unfounded fears. How can I reign this in? I try mindfulness exercises, but they don’t work at 3:00am when I can’t sleep. The Meta Question is “How can I be less anxious in general?” but I’m keen on distilling that unwieldy question into a cat/vacation-based issue for now. Thanks for any useful thoughts or experiences you might have to share!
Best answer: When I have employed professional cat sitters in the past, they have sent me photo or text updates once a day. It goes a long way in assuaging that guilt where you can’t explain to your cats why you’ve left and when you’ll be back, for some reason. So, definitely ask your visitors to send you check-in updates, even if everything’s fine.
I bet your shy cat will become less shy before you return. If the routine is extremely standard, with the visitors coming and going at the same times and doing the same stuff, your shy cat will be more confident after a few days and might even come out before a week is up. If she is motivated by something, ask your visitors to reward her for appearing or interacting with them via that motivation. Maybe she likes some specific treats (small bits of crunchy food?) or a particular toy or to be brushed or the smell out the window or videos of chipmunks on tv. Have that reward available each time and she will know that visitor = availability of favorite thing. When there’s nothing else happening the rest of the day, a cat’s natural curiosity can push through fear pretty effectively.
A webcam isn’t a bad idea, but it might be a hassle. You could also try to determine the most likely hiding spots and ask that her food be placed nearby while the visitor pays attention to your social cat elsewhere.
posted by Mizu at 5:52 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
I bet your shy cat will become less shy before you return. If the routine is extremely standard, with the visitors coming and going at the same times and doing the same stuff, your shy cat will be more confident after a few days and might even come out before a week is up. If she is motivated by something, ask your visitors to reward her for appearing or interacting with them via that motivation. Maybe she likes some specific treats (small bits of crunchy food?) or a particular toy or to be brushed or the smell out the window or videos of chipmunks on tv. Have that reward available each time and she will know that visitor = availability of favorite thing. When there’s nothing else happening the rest of the day, a cat’s natural curiosity can push through fear pretty effectively.
A webcam isn’t a bad idea, but it might be a hassle. You could also try to determine the most likely hiding spots and ask that her food be placed nearby while the visitor pays attention to your social cat elsewhere.
posted by Mizu at 5:52 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have a LOT of cat-related travel anxiety, so I very much understand where you're coming from. I don't have a complete solution to this, but the things I do to help myself feel ok are:
posted by primethyme at 5:52 PM on August 2, 2022 [6 favorites]
- Use a sitter I deeply, DEEPLY trust. In my case this is a professional cat sitter rather than a friend. I love my friends but I don't have any locally who I trust enough to never miss a visit no matter what comes up in their personal lives and have a backup on-call if the worst does happen.
- Have them visit multiple times a day, despite absurd cost, because I want to make sure he is checked-on, his litter is clean, etc. on a regular basis.
- The sitter knows to text me each and every time they visit so I know they made it and things are ok. They have also earned trust over the years by giving me a heads up if something, even minor, seems "off."
- Place several cameras throughout the house pointing at all the places my cat likes to hang out, sleep, or eat, so I can almost always see him and see that he's ok.
posted by primethyme at 5:52 PM on August 2, 2022 [6 favorites]
When we traveled for an extended period, I:
- Enlisted several friends so that nobody had to drive over every single day, so they'd be able to spend more time per visit.
- Turned the living room into a spa/relaxing/entertaining room, with interesting puzzles, a desk/table, an electric tea kettle with tea, snacks, a sofa also with a table -- in short, people could come hang out comfortably for hours (and one puzzle was extra compelling). I bet this would work even better with people being all pandemic-house-bound.
- Made sure to have talky radio playing most of the time in one room, so the cats could go there for familiar noise when they wanted. Infinite silence when you're not able to play video games is super hard.
This was for a solo cat (not what I would suggest if you can avoid it, and you can), but he was totally fine. I think people spent a lot of time in the living room reading and relaxing.
posted by amtho at 6:24 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
- Enlisted several friends so that nobody had to drive over every single day, so they'd be able to spend more time per visit.
- Turned the living room into a spa/relaxing/entertaining room, with interesting puzzles, a desk/table, an electric tea kettle with tea, snacks, a sofa also with a table -- in short, people could come hang out comfortably for hours (and one puzzle was extra compelling). I bet this would work even better with people being all pandemic-house-bound.
- Made sure to have talky radio playing most of the time in one room, so the cats could go there for familiar noise when they wanted. Infinite silence when you're not able to play video games is super hard.
This was for a solo cat (not what I would suggest if you can avoid it, and you can), but he was totally fine. I think people spent a lot of time in the living room reading and relaxing.
posted by amtho at 6:24 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
I petsit through Trusted Housesitters, a site that exchanges a free place to stay for pet care, so I'm there pretty much all day/night with the animals (this may vary with people who use the site only for taking a vacation, but even they would be there more than someone just stopping in). With shy cats, I've usually found that they get more comfortable after someone has been there for a while. All of that said, I think your cats will be fine! Definitely ask your friends to text updates.
posted by pinochiette at 6:29 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by pinochiette at 6:29 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
There are cat feeding boxes that unlock only for something on the collar of the cat who is allowed to eat the food that's in the secret room. Useful if you have food aggressive chonkers or a cat that's medicated via dinner. Potentially also useful here to ensure only shy guy gets to have his dinner? The link is to a DIY option but I think you can buy them ready made.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:45 PM on August 2, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 6:45 PM on August 2, 2022 [7 favorites]
Best answer: This doesn't sound like a getting-the-cat-to-eat problem, since you have solid evidence that that's going fine. This is a stop-worrying-about-it problem. I agree that a webcam might be a good idea, assuming you can be trusted not to spend your entire vacation obsessing over the webcam. You could get a webcam and make sure your partner has the URL but not you, so they can check but you can't.
Or, if your petsitter is a generous friend they could feed the shy cat in a separate room, leaving them alone with their food for a half hour or an hour before coming back and letting them out. I can picture doing this for a friend--I got over, shut shy cat in a room with a dish of food, run to the grocery store, and then swing by to let them out.
But again, it doesn't sound like this is about the cat eating. It sounds like it's about you worrying. Do you really believe your cat would be so shy that she would starve to death before eating in a petsitter's presence? Treating an irrational fear like a rational one can help sometimes, but sometimes it can cause you to use less-useful coping mechanisms.
posted by gideonfrog at 6:55 PM on August 2, 2022 [7 favorites]
Or, if your petsitter is a generous friend they could feed the shy cat in a separate room, leaving them alone with their food for a half hour or an hour before coming back and letting them out. I can picture doing this for a friend--I got over, shut shy cat in a room with a dish of food, run to the grocery store, and then swing by to let them out.
But again, it doesn't sound like this is about the cat eating. It sounds like it's about you worrying. Do you really believe your cat would be so shy that she would starve to death before eating in a petsitter's presence? Treating an irrational fear like a rational one can help sometimes, but sometimes it can cause you to use less-useful coping mechanisms.
posted by gideonfrog at 6:55 PM on August 2, 2022 [7 favorites]
To me these fears aren't completely irrational and in this case I think you're better off assuaging your fears instead of trying to suppress them. I think that because kitties are often delicate little things and we do need to take care to make sure they get enough to eat; and also because where "the baby" is concerned, your unconscious is never going to give you break. It's how we're wired. It's better to figure out how to solve this one. It's not the same as being so buried in worries that you never leave the house, because you're just going to find one or 2 common sense strategies to make sure the kitties are eating so you can enjoy your trip.
It's not hard to rig up an old phone with a baby monitor app & point it at where they eat so you can see them.
Also, have you actually had a conversation with your pet sitter about how they generally deal with making sure the shy ones eat?
What if she put the shy ones food somewhere else, where she would be more likely to get at it?
posted by bleep at 7:06 PM on August 2, 2022 [2 favorites]
It's not hard to rig up an old phone with a baby monitor app & point it at where they eat so you can see them.
Also, have you actually had a conversation with your pet sitter about how they generally deal with making sure the shy ones eat?
What if she put the shy ones food somewhere else, where she would be more likely to get at it?
posted by bleep at 7:06 PM on August 2, 2022 [2 favorites]
I dealt with my anxiety about leaving my cats alone by buying cat-cams. I went with the Eufy ones; when I bought them, you could get 2 for $70. They're dead simple to set up, wide-angle enough for one camera to monitor an entire room, and for $10/month Eufy will host motion-triggered clips in the cloud for you to watch at leisure.
If your biggest concern is whether the shy one will eat while the petsitter is there, maybe have feeding them be the *last* thing that happens before the sitter leaves, and put the bowl down in view of a webcam? Then you'd be able to check that the shy one is eating.
posted by Metasyntactic at 7:27 PM on August 2, 2022
If your biggest concern is whether the shy one will eat while the petsitter is there, maybe have feeding them be the *last* thing that happens before the sitter leaves, and put the bowl down in view of a webcam? Then you'd be able to check that the shy one is eating.
posted by Metasyntactic at 7:27 PM on August 2, 2022
Would it ease your anxiety if there was kibble left out for free-grazing? Because that seems like the easiest solution here. Cats instinct is to eat grass to make themselves throw-up (feral cats need to given that they tend to ingest inedible material like features), so I'm not sure they mind it quite like we do. I'd just give the sitters a heads-up that a little puke now and then is normal for your cats. You might also look into a different type of kibble - the higher-end ones designed for older cats tend to be less likely to induce vomit.
posted by coffeecat at 7:41 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by coffeecat at 7:41 PM on August 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
As for a cam, if you have an old phone or three that you are not using but work, check out Alfred Camera. It is a free app that sets up your phones as cams.
You can speak to the cats via the software and reassure them that you will be back and when you return, you will have presents. The sound of your voice should be calming. Put a picture of yourself by the phone/cam so when they look at the sound of your voice, they see you.
Enjoy the vacation!
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:18 PM on August 2, 2022
You can speak to the cats via the software and reassure them that you will be back and when you return, you will have presents. The sound of your voice should be calming. Put a picture of yourself by the phone/cam so when they look at the sound of your voice, they see you.
Enjoy the vacation!
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:18 PM on August 2, 2022
Best answer: This question would be a lot easier to answer with pics :).
I'd make the case that your cats are strong and resilient. Moreover, I think there's a good chance that they will change their behavior when sufficiently hungry/ full. You can also avail yourself to technology (e.g. microchip cat feeders) provided your feline overlords permit it.
If it helps at all, it seems like your elder cat is an 'introvert'. While you will probably never know for sure, it sounds plausible that after 2020, 2021, and over half way through 2022 elder cat could use a break from living on top of her hooman family. And even if it were feasible to take the kitties to Europe, they would be absolutely miserable! It's much better for the two legged ones go on their much needed vacation, and for the four legged ones to stay at home. Plus your kitties aren't getting any younger, so it's good practice for them to have a pet sitter now. And having a pet sitter attend to the cats twice a day is well within the accepted bounds of responsible cat parenting.
Finally, remember that you have trusted people who will keep you looped in about any updates!
posted by oceano at 10:52 PM on August 2, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'd make the case that your cats are strong and resilient. Moreover, I think there's a good chance that they will change their behavior when sufficiently hungry/ full. You can also avail yourself to technology (e.g. microchip cat feeders) provided your feline overlords permit it.
If it helps at all, it seems like your elder cat is an 'introvert'. While you will probably never know for sure, it sounds plausible that after 2020, 2021, and over half way through 2022 elder cat could use a break from living on top of her hooman family. And even if it were feasible to take the kitties to Europe, they would be absolutely miserable! It's much better for the two legged ones go on their much needed vacation, and for the four legged ones to stay at home. Plus your kitties aren't getting any younger, so it's good practice for them to have a pet sitter now. And having a pet sitter attend to the cats twice a day is well within the accepted bounds of responsible cat parenting.
Finally, remember that you have trusted people who will keep you looped in about any updates!
posted by oceano at 10:52 PM on August 2, 2022 [2 favorites]
Would one of those petcams with treat dispenser do anything for your cats? Maybe you can "train" them with one now?
posted by kschang at 11:59 PM on August 2, 2022
posted by kschang at 11:59 PM on August 2, 2022
I honestly had this exact fear around leaving the house before I started on anxiety meds. It got to where I'd be afraid even if I was leaving for much shorter times, and when I finally got on meds (for me, Lexapro) this specific fear completely went away. I still like getting updates from catsitters but I don't have that trip-ruining constant feeling in my gut that something bad has happened, I get to actually enjoy my time away.
posted by augustimagination at 1:58 AM on August 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by augustimagination at 1:58 AM on August 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: The evening catsitter got your calico out to come eat! Proof: just because you are the Favorite Person doesn't mean you're the Only Acceptable Person. I often petsit for friends whose older cat wants nothing to do with me when I visit, especially if Her People are there. But when her people are away, she will usually be lured out with a treat and munch happily away from her microchip feeder (which keeps food safe from the younger bully cat). In times past, she has even allowed pets and the occasional cuddle. I am proud to be a cat side chick, even if our relationship is discreet.
posted by Hypatia at 5:17 AM on August 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Hypatia at 5:17 AM on August 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Further to Jacquilynne's point, you can also buy a feeder that can be programmed to open for a particular cat. We own this one because Rupert (foreground) likes to craze and Percy (background) will eat anything that's left out and eventually balloon out à la Violet Beauregarde.
These feeders aren't exactly cheap but they do work well. The only caveat is that they may take some time for your cat to adjust to. The above-linked model has a "training mode" where the lid just moves a little bit at first and then more and more at later stages, to help the cat adjust to its presence and motion. In our case, it took a couple of weeks for a somewhat skittish cat to graduate from "what the hell is this" to "of course this thing opens up when I walk up to it."
I do worry about the above-pictured dopes when we go on our trips, and knowing that the feeder will ensure that the graze-y cat will get his food helps relax.
posted by Johnny Assay at 5:24 AM on August 3, 2022
These feeders aren't exactly cheap but they do work well. The only caveat is that they may take some time for your cat to adjust to. The above-linked model has a "training mode" where the lid just moves a little bit at first and then more and more at later stages, to help the cat adjust to its presence and motion. In our case, it took a couple of weeks for a somewhat skittish cat to graduate from "what the hell is this" to "of course this thing opens up when I walk up to it."
I do worry about the above-pictured dopes when we go on our trips, and knowing that the feeder will ensure that the graze-y cat will get his food helps relax.
posted by Johnny Assay at 5:24 AM on August 3, 2022
I use webcams for this (covering the feeding area, the front door and the hallways) and had to replace my old ones recently. After looking around I settled on Wyze. I'm pretty happy with them, with the proviso that some units are flaky about staying connected to wifi, so set them up a week or so in advance to make sure you didn't get a dud (including testing their re-connection after power loss to the camera, the wifi going down, or both).
I free feed my cats dry food so for vacations I put out extra, along with extra water dishes. (They aren't prone to overeating, and they're accustomed to getting their water separately.) For someone to come by, top off the food dishes, replace the water and change the litter I used Rover. The app/service itself is fine, although the person I went with didn't do the greatest job (in terms of following instructions re: where the food was kept leading to at least one missed feeding, and how to change the litter, leading to dirty litter in one of the clean litter buckets).
I should have picked someone on the platform longer (although you'd think a giant bag of Orijen in a storage bin sitting out in the same room would be hard to miss when instructed 'the bag of food is in the storage bin on the floor in the corner.' ). Since your cats' feeding is little more involved, if you go through an app pay attention to the ratings and reviews (and don't try to give a newbie a break, as I did).
Still, the cats were fine; and since I could see they were eating and normally active so was I, and I didn't feel any urge to check the camera app constantly; getting the notifications periodically and then looking over the saved clips every couple days plus the sitter's updates was enough for me not to worry.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:24 AM on August 3, 2022
I free feed my cats dry food so for vacations I put out extra, along with extra water dishes. (They aren't prone to overeating, and they're accustomed to getting their water separately.) For someone to come by, top off the food dishes, replace the water and change the litter I used Rover. The app/service itself is fine, although the person I went with didn't do the greatest job (in terms of following instructions re: where the food was kept leading to at least one missed feeding, and how to change the litter, leading to dirty litter in one of the clean litter buckets).
I should have picked someone on the platform longer (although you'd think a giant bag of Orijen in a storage bin sitting out in the same room would be hard to miss when instructed 'the bag of food is in the storage bin on the floor in the corner.' ). Since your cats' feeding is little more involved, if you go through an app pay attention to the ratings and reviews (and don't try to give a newbie a break, as I did).
Still, the cats were fine; and since I could see they were eating and normally active so was I, and I didn't feel any urge to check the camera app constantly; getting the notifications periodically and then looking over the saved clips every couple days plus the sitter's updates was enough for me not to worry.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:24 AM on August 3, 2022
Best answer: I have this issue too, with a skittish, shy kitty that won't come out for strangers and a chonker who will eat everything in his path. Our pet sitters have just put out food in whatever room the shy kitty is hiding and everything has always turned out okay (and this is when sitters are staying at our house overnight, so they don't leave!). It's possible shy kitty might lose out on a meal or two but they should figure it out pretty quickly once they get hungry. I like the idea suggested above of the sitter putting out the food at the end of the visit so they are gone and the shy kitty is more likely to eat.
posted by misskaz at 6:27 AM on August 3, 2022
posted by misskaz at 6:27 AM on August 3, 2022
Except for a couple of mornings when we’ll have a different person come by, the same two people will attend to the cats this month, so the cats have met these people before.
I missed this bit; seems like this is ideal, and the question is more about your own worries about what the cats will actually do when wet food is left out and no one is around.
With that in mind, I would install the cameras and then run a simulation; ideally with the sitters, rather than yourself, if they will indulge you -- you leave, the sitter comes and does what they will do when you're actually on vacation, and then you can see whether the tuxie eats the calico's food while she's being wary.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:37 AM on August 3, 2022
I missed this bit; seems like this is ideal, and the question is more about your own worries about what the cats will actually do when wet food is left out and no one is around.
With that in mind, I would install the cameras and then run a simulation; ideally with the sitters, rather than yourself, if they will indulge you -- you leave, the sitter comes and does what they will do when you're actually on vacation, and then you can see whether the tuxie eats the calico's food while she's being wary.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:37 AM on August 3, 2022
Best answer: I can totally relate to this. It's not ridiculous, no more so than people who worry about burglaries or natural disasters or whatever while they're traveling. Those things probably won't happen, but they might - and if you're like me the prospect of traveling isn't more compelling than hanging at home with the kitties anyway.
Since 2018 I've had at least one senior with a chronic illness, until last December I had two. It was awful being away, and I avoided it as much as possible.
If you have morning/evening visits, can you feed your calico kitty in a separate room with the door closed in the morning + let them out in the evening, or something like that? Or invest in the chip feeder - it sounds like that would come in handy even when you're not traveling!
Make a plan for emergencies. With fail safes. What happens if X, Y or Z. These are people you trust, so if you have a plan and are prepared for any reasonable contingency, you know they'll follow through. This has helped me a lot when I've had to travel.
N'thing the idea of webcams or having your friends send pictures. Those always help me when I'm traveling.
We tend to catastrophize and imagine worst outcomes, and that somehow we can prevent them by being there. Generally even when bad things happen, they're not as bad as we expect, and things turn out OK. A few years ago I was traveling, and while I was away the hose to the fridge broke and my pet sitter walked in on about an inch of standing water in my rental house.
The cats? They were fine. They found a high, dry spot and were annoyed. That was it. My then-girlfriend, now wife, rushed in and handled things while I drove the rest of the way home. Wasn't what I wanted to come home to, but really it was just a hassle.
Finally, it sounds like you love and adore your cats and take very good care of them. You are allowed to leave them occasionally to do things like travel. It sucks we can't explain this to them, but if we could they'd understand. When I've traveled I'm full of anxiety for a day or two and then it levels out. And the last day of the trip I cannot wait to see them again, and it's always a joyous reunion!
posted by jzb at 7:11 AM on August 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Since 2018 I've had at least one senior with a chronic illness, until last December I had two. It was awful being away, and I avoided it as much as possible.
If you have morning/evening visits, can you feed your calico kitty in a separate room with the door closed in the morning + let them out in the evening, or something like that? Or invest in the chip feeder - it sounds like that would come in handy even when you're not traveling!
Make a plan for emergencies. With fail safes. What happens if X, Y or Z. These are people you trust, so if you have a plan and are prepared for any reasonable contingency, you know they'll follow through. This has helped me a lot when I've had to travel.
N'thing the idea of webcams or having your friends send pictures. Those always help me when I'm traveling.
We tend to catastrophize and imagine worst outcomes, and that somehow we can prevent them by being there. Generally even when bad things happen, they're not as bad as we expect, and things turn out OK. A few years ago I was traveling, and while I was away the hose to the fridge broke and my pet sitter walked in on about an inch of standing water in my rental house.
The cats? They were fine. They found a high, dry spot and were annoyed. That was it. My then-girlfriend, now wife, rushed in and handled things while I drove the rest of the way home. Wasn't what I wanted to come home to, but really it was just a hassle.
Finally, it sounds like you love and adore your cats and take very good care of them. You are allowed to leave them occasionally to do things like travel. It sucks we can't explain this to them, but if we could they'd understand. When I've traveled I'm full of anxiety for a day or two and then it levels out. And the last day of the trip I cannot wait to see them again, and it's always a joyous reunion!
posted by jzb at 7:11 AM on August 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Last Christmas we were in Cal while my area was hit with a snowstorm. I live on a hill, my cats can only eat wet food due to dietary issues, and I was terrified that our cat sitter couldn't reach them.
But, she did. And she had a car that specifically could because it was her career/her business to make it to feed animals and get them medications, no matter what the condition was outside.
So here is my +1 for take this off of your friends and get a professional instead. Mine had good connections to our local vet, just in case, played with them every day, and sent me lots of photos. This was worth the $25 a day we paid her, and then some. I cannot explain the feeling of relief that came over me every day seeing the new photos. It truly helps.
We also recently had a friend who needed to be away, and we took her cat for the night (her house had a lot of fireworks going on). We attached a webcam to an oscillating fan and livestreamed the room to her via youtube for the night. Of course, the cat hid under a blanket and was barely on camera, but that's one way she knew everything was ok- because he was being a proper cathole.
posted by haplesschild at 9:16 AM on August 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
But, she did. And she had a car that specifically could because it was her career/her business to make it to feed animals and get them medications, no matter what the condition was outside.
So here is my +1 for take this off of your friends and get a professional instead. Mine had good connections to our local vet, just in case, played with them every day, and sent me lots of photos. This was worth the $25 a day we paid her, and then some. I cannot explain the feeling of relief that came over me every day seeing the new photos. It truly helps.
We also recently had a friend who needed to be away, and we took her cat for the night (her house had a lot of fireworks going on). We attached a webcam to an oscillating fan and livestreamed the room to her via youtube for the night. Of course, the cat hid under a blanket and was barely on camera, but that's one way she knew everything was ok- because he was being a proper cathole.
posted by haplesschild at 9:16 AM on August 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you all so much. Such great suggestions and kind comments (unsurprisingly) from everybody! I'm already feeling better. My friend and neighbor is the morning sitter and loves cats (I watch hers when she's away) and the evening sitter has had previous success in coaxing out the shy cat, so I think I'm solid there, but I'll look at some options for sure, as well as considering a cam or two and the automatic feeder. I appreciate you all tremendously. Oh, and here are my wonderful felines!
posted by but no cigar at 12:49 PM on August 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by but no cigar at 12:49 PM on August 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
Best answer: I am the same as you - and yet, my husband and I left our sweet boys for 6 weeks once for an epic road trip, with daily visits from the same friendly folk. They were shocked and a little amazed when we came back and we missed them terribly, but all was well. We wish you a great trip!
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:14 PM on August 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:14 PM on August 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
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