Korean meaning of in-law joke in Parasite?
February 10, 2020 9:36 PM

WARNING: PARASITE SPOILER INSIDE!

I'm only about half way through streaming the film, so would appreciate no spoilers for me either :)
But I have a question about the moment when the mother of the poor family learns her son is dating the girl he's tutoring. She realizes: "I'm washing my daughter in law's socks!" and they all laugh. My sense is that the moment implied more than an American audience would really understand. Would it be particularly inappropriate for the Korean MIL to do housework for a DIL? Should the DIL properly be the one would do chores for the MIL instead? Or is it kind of just too intimate and strange, the way an American would understand it? Finally if there is a kind of specific Korean assumption about MIL/DIL relations in this moment, would it carry a class implication -- like this working class family is more traditional than the rich family?
In short: Can someone explain Korean implications of this one moment for me? Without giving away what happens next :)?
Thanks!
posted by nantucket to Society & Culture (3 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
It would be ridiculously inappropriate for a MIL to be doing chores for her DIL in traditional culture--the DIL should properly be doing whatever the MIL says and acting almost as her servant and, yes, doing chores for the MIL. It's almost a Korean stereotype that MILs and DILs don't get along precisely because of this dynamic. I can't speak to the class question.

(More information welcomed--I'm Korean-American and this is based on what my mother, Korean-Korean, has told me generally.)
posted by yhlee at 12:24 AM on February 11, 2020


Yhlee has it mostly right, with the addendum that this dynamic is definitely being restructured and fought over in recent years, which is the source of a lot of family tensions -- especially in a contemporary society in which most/many women are educated and working.

Also, I was curious and watched the actual scenes. The English subtitles skip a phrase for brevity. The full scene goes:

Mother: 씨말. 나 그럼 이거 사돈댁 설거지 하고 있는거야? (Fuck, then I'm washing dishes at my daughter in law's?)
Father: 음, 그런거지. 사돈어른 빤스 빨고 며느리 양말 빨고. (Mmhmm yes. You're washing the undies of your inlaws and the socks of your daughter-in-law.)

There's a bit of comic relief in the phrase "빤스" which basically is like an old-fashioned, silly way of saying 'underwear', like "panties" or "undies" or "tighty-whities", which adds to the comedy / deadpan delivery of the father / Song Kang Ho, but it's left out of the english translation.
posted by suedehead at 12:34 AM on February 11, 2020


FWIW, this MIL/DIL dynamic is prevalent in almost all Asian cultures. It would be hideously offensive for the MIL to lift a finger to do any chores or errands when she has a DIL - frequently, DIL go to live with or near their in-laws so that they can take care of them. As mentioned above, it is a practice that is changing, and has caused endless animosity in families for centuries.

As for class implications, I believe the dynamic exists regardless of the social status of the family. The specifics of the tasks a DIL might do for her MIL may be different, but the expectation that she is subservient to her MIL seems to transcend class divisions, at least in Asian cultures.
posted by Everydayville at 8:48 AM on February 11, 2020


« Older What was this Elvish book/graphic novel/comic I...   |   Changing MacOS Terminal shell from Bash to Zsh:... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.