Resources for developing emotional maturity
August 24, 2019 8:11 AM Subscribe
I haven't had a very good experience with therapists, and I seem to do better with self-therapy. I'm in a phase of particular growth and looking for all the external help I can find to fuel it. Books, websites, forums, online support groups. Details inside.
I'm already receiving great help from the School of Life's resource, the Book of Life, as well as Vipassana meditation.
In particular at the moment, I'm working on things like:
- how to get over jealousy and possessiveness in relationships
- how to look at something from someone else's point of view
- being able to be rational when emotional
- being able to delay a reaction and process emotions first
- how not to get extremely upset when my ego is bruised
In short, developing emotional maturity and a slightly thicker skin.
Throw your resources at me please!
I'm already receiving great help from the School of Life's resource, the Book of Life, as well as Vipassana meditation.
In particular at the moment, I'm working on things like:
- how to get over jealousy and possessiveness in relationships
- how to look at something from someone else's point of view
- being able to be rational when emotional
- being able to delay a reaction and process emotions first
- how not to get extremely upset when my ego is bruised
In short, developing emotional maturity and a slightly thicker skin.
Throw your resources at me please!
There are DBT workbooks that go through this kind of thing because DBT is focused on learning measured responses to really strong feelings in general.
It isn't going to be as philospophical and will be rather concrete in its appeoach, but you wanted some concrete practice skills to go with your other reading you might find it useful.
posted by AlexiaSky at 9:12 AM on August 24, 2019 [2 favorites]
It isn't going to be as philospophical and will be rather concrete in its appeoach, but you wanted some concrete practice skills to go with your other reading you might find it useful.
posted by AlexiaSky at 9:12 AM on August 24, 2019 [2 favorites]
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo
It's excellent in spelling out mature, healthy adult relationship dynamics (with some overlap onto healthy responses to life e.g. ego responses). This book helped me understand a painful codependent relationship in my early 20s and what to look for, and contribute to, in a healthy emotionally mature relationship.
I think the foundational concept is that every person is primarily responsible for their own well-being, which is pretty much the approach to being a healthy, emotionally mature and aware, autonomous adult!
posted by pengwings at 9:50 AM on August 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's excellent in spelling out mature, healthy adult relationship dynamics (with some overlap onto healthy responses to life e.g. ego responses). This book helped me understand a painful codependent relationship in my early 20s and what to look for, and contribute to, in a healthy emotionally mature relationship.
I think the foundational concept is that every person is primarily responsible for their own well-being, which is pretty much the approach to being a healthy, emotionally mature and aware, autonomous adult!
posted by pengwings at 9:50 AM on August 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
Emotional Alchemy - mindfulness to destroy bad mental patterns
Heart of the Soul - how to identify and sit with painful feelings
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:15 AM on August 24, 2019
Heart of the Soul - how to identify and sit with painful feelings
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:15 AM on August 24, 2019
I found Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Emotions to be practical self-help. You can see some of the resources associated with the book here, here and more generally here.
posted by forthright at 11:24 AM on August 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by forthright at 11:24 AM on August 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
It is one thing to read a book and be inspired. It is a different thing to have a structure of daily and weekly practices that help you focus on making the change real in your everyday life. Everyday Holiness by Alan Morinis offers a systematic approach to address the full range of character traits that you would like either develop or move away from. There is a long discussion on which traits you might want to work on. (Patience, humility, generosity, self-control might some of the ones that would appeal to you.) But I think the helpful part is that it then outlines a set of practices, which includes familiar things like journaling and meditation, that help you stay focus and make progress. It is based on Jewish approach to self-improvement called Mussar but the general structure of daily practices to work on a rotating list of traits can easily be adapted by anyone on a path of personal growth.
posted by metahawk at 11:58 AM on August 25, 2019
posted by metahawk at 11:58 AM on August 25, 2019
This thread is closed to new comments.
Esther Perel's podcast.
posted by bunderful at 8:50 AM on August 24, 2019 [3 favorites]