People are good, right?
October 8, 2018 2:37 PM Subscribe
[CW] Rape: I don't understand it
I know this is a VERY sensitive subject, and I want to be as mindful and respectful as I can. Please know that the last thing I want to do is hurt or offend anyone. I would like to understand something about rape, and it may be that the discussion I hope to have is impossible -- feelings necessarily run hot on this topic, and it is unfortunately the lived experience of far, far too many -- but if this discussion CAN be had... it would be here on AskMe.
So here goes.
Rape is rape, regardless of the circumstances. That said, it seems to me, in trying to make sense of the rape of adult women by men, that the circumstances may shed some little light on why that man -- ostensibly a human being, just like me -- would forget his humanity to that extent, or excuse it to himself, or basically in whatever way bring himself to do it. I read somewhere that, with the incidence of rape in the United States as high as it is, not only does the average person probably know multiple women who have survived rape -- but they almost certainly know at least one rapist. I'm really struggling with that -- the banality of evil. I don't get it.
I can see psychopathic serial rapists like the Night Stalker -- their minds are broken, their very humanity is impaired. They are not like me. I think I understand acquaintance/date/maritial rapists -- they are entitled assholes and (maybe?) lie to themselves that the rape was consensual or "should" have been. They are not like me. But crime-of-opportunity rape by a stranger -- the near certainty that women will be raped by soldiers who invade their land, the rape of women out for a jog in the dark -- how does THAT work? You're a within-tolerances normal guy, you get drafted and go off to war somewhere -- and you rape somebody? You're a within-tolerances normal guy, you're out for a walk or whatever -- and you see a woman and go, I think I will rape her? Are THESE guys like me? If they are not, I am happy -- but I have this troubling idea that people who ARE like me, ordinary people, kind to animals, love their mothers, may yet somehow be capable of rape. I mean, there are so many rapes! But how? Why? And if these rapists are indeed a breed apart, that is such a huge number of secretly-inhuman people walking among us like two-legged landmines -- what the hell else are they capable of?
I do not get it. Thanks for any attempt you are willing to make, to help me understand. Resources to read, search terms, anything to help me get past this cognitive dissonance.
I know this is a VERY sensitive subject, and I want to be as mindful and respectful as I can. Please know that the last thing I want to do is hurt or offend anyone. I would like to understand something about rape, and it may be that the discussion I hope to have is impossible -- feelings necessarily run hot on this topic, and it is unfortunately the lived experience of far, far too many -- but if this discussion CAN be had... it would be here on AskMe.
So here goes.
Rape is rape, regardless of the circumstances. That said, it seems to me, in trying to make sense of the rape of adult women by men, that the circumstances may shed some little light on why that man -- ostensibly a human being, just like me -- would forget his humanity to that extent, or excuse it to himself, or basically in whatever way bring himself to do it. I read somewhere that, with the incidence of rape in the United States as high as it is, not only does the average person probably know multiple women who have survived rape -- but they almost certainly know at least one rapist. I'm really struggling with that -- the banality of evil. I don't get it.
I can see psychopathic serial rapists like the Night Stalker -- their minds are broken, their very humanity is impaired. They are not like me. I think I understand acquaintance/date/maritial rapists -- they are entitled assholes and (maybe?) lie to themselves that the rape was consensual or "should" have been. They are not like me. But crime-of-opportunity rape by a stranger -- the near certainty that women will be raped by soldiers who invade their land, the rape of women out for a jog in the dark -- how does THAT work? You're a within-tolerances normal guy, you get drafted and go off to war somewhere -- and you rape somebody? You're a within-tolerances normal guy, you're out for a walk or whatever -- and you see a woman and go, I think I will rape her? Are THESE guys like me? If they are not, I am happy -- but I have this troubling idea that people who ARE like me, ordinary people, kind to animals, love their mothers, may yet somehow be capable of rape. I mean, there are so many rapes! But how? Why? And if these rapists are indeed a breed apart, that is such a huge number of secretly-inhuman people walking among us like two-legged landmines -- what the hell else are they capable of?
I do not get it. Thanks for any attempt you are willing to make, to help me understand. Resources to read, search terms, anything to help me get past this cognitive dissonance.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Drop us a line and we can try to get this somewhere workable. -- restless_nomad
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