Very depressed - got a lot on my plate

June 26, 2018 8:46 AM

Dealing with everything that could go wrong and did. Alright, I told myself the other day that I'd focus on the positive and go from there. Very hard to do when I'm in pain. Everyday it's something else - blood sugar, kidneys, heart - family or the lack of - and this all-pervasive need to isolate and never see another human being again. Just to be left. Alone. So I figure there's this ingrained pattern that I'm holding on to, and it's fucking my entire existance up and I can't name it. Whatever it is it's comprised of a lot of weariness and sadness, even grief and helplessness. I need to flip this and get the polar opposite - starting with a hefty dose of courage. Where the f did my courage go? Where the f did my sense of humor go? Everything just exited when depression and dis-ease set in - that's where. Now I need them back. And I need your help Metafilter to connect me with the greatest minds and souls who know exactly how to go about doing this with finesse and with structure. I need a plan. This will be saving my life plan 1.0. Your input, required and appreciated.
posted by watercarrier to Health & Fitness