What city should I move to if I want to fall in love?

August 22, 2017 3:52 PM

I've lived in many cities. It's often harder to fall in love in bigger cities for me than medium sized ones. I'm in my late 20s, been in love a lot, but not recently. I know this is generic, but any insight would be interesting.
posted by senterstyle to Human Relations (9 answers total)

A bit of a generic response, because there's not much to go on here: move to a city where you can do the things you want to do/be what you want to be, even if you never fall in love.
posted by Paper rabies at 3:54 PM on August 22, 2017 [6 favorites]

If you're looking to date men, move to a midsize city in the western half of the U.S. If you're looking to date women, midsize city in the eastern half. Cities in middle America tend to settle down earlier than coastal cities IME, which often delay until mid 30s.
posted by stockpuppet at 4:06 PM on August 22, 2017

Lots of good advice in this thread.

Other ideas here.
posted by hydra77 at 4:15 PM on August 22, 2017

Denver.

But not Colorado Springs.

Denver is for fun. C Springs is for raising a family.
posted by Lord Fancy Pants at 4:23 PM on August 22, 2017

Response by poster: I'm looking for more qualitative reasons. Just because there are more women than men doesn't make a city more easy to date/fall in love in: why is the city easier to fall in love in than others? I think that's what's missing in most of the answers in other questions. And I'm M4W.
posted by senterstyle at 4:27 PM on August 22, 2017

This is impossible to answer because you've given very little criteria. I have no clue what you're interested in, other than people with vaginas.

Like, for me I would say Louisville, KY because they have a large imbalance of single women with PhD's. But maybe you're into independent music, or you're highly religious, or you only looking for East African women... ???
posted by danny the boy at 4:49 PM on August 22, 2017 [2 favorites]

You are not going to get any good answers based on your question because it is entirely too vague. What is it that you seek? You just want to fall in love with a random person or are you looking for someone with similar interests/education/religious background/age?
posted by nubianinthedesert at 4:50 PM on August 22, 2017

What it is about midsize cities that appeals to you compared to larger cities? That might be a good place to start. I have no idea if the things you like are also compatible with dating, but if you can identify some interests you have, maybe go somewhere where other people (including people who happen to be women) also have those interests?
posted by basalganglia at 4:52 PM on August 22, 2017

I think if you're talking in absolute terms, that on average, cost of living plus reasonable career prospects is the sweet spot. I think the reason it's so rough in very large cities is that people at prime dating ages--20s and 30s--are broke, living with roommates, dealing with long commutes or long hours or both. Rust Belt kind of cities are rough just because everybody's underemployed. If you're living where you're comfortable financially and you have free time, that's your best chance to actually relax enough to bond with other people. Stress impairs social risk-taking and bonding, if you want to get pseudoscientific about it.
posted by Sequence at 4:58 PM on August 22, 2017