What should I look for in adopting my ideal cat (or should I not adopt)?
May 9, 2017 5:11 PM Subscribe
For the past few months, I’ve been considering adopting a cat as a way of easing loneliness, helping me fight depression, and giving me something to care for and love. However, I have a few constraints that limit the type of cat I feel capable of caring for. I’m wondering what age of cat I should be looking for, or if I’m being unrealistic and am not well suited to adopting a cat after all. This will be my first pet, and I could use advice from people who know these things.
I wish I could open my heart to every cat, but the truth is that I’m looking for certain traits:
1. Because I’m hoping adopting a cat will make me less lonely, I’d like a cat that is affectionate and won’t ignore me. I work 9-5, but I’m a homebody in the evenings, so I think I could be a good friend to a sociable cat as long as she doesn’t need me there 24/7.
2. At the same time, I’m looking for a mellow, calm companion. I struggle with low energy, fatigue, and demotivation (health issues), and I just don’t have the energy to entertain a cat that needs constant play and stimulation. I’m looking for more of a snuggly lap cat than a playful, active cat (and I’m DEFINITELY not looking for a kitten, or even an adult young enough to be chock full of energy).
3. I know that #2 above makes me sound like a perfect candidate to adopt a senior cat, but I’m not sure I’m ready for a very old cat—as a first-timer, I don’t feel equipped for a cat with the health issues that are likely to come with older age (plus the expenses). It would be nice to have a number of healthy adult years together before we get into the challenging health times.
If I could have whatever I wanted, my ideal evening with a cat would look something like this:
I get home and my cat greets me with a friendly meow as I walk in the door. I give her lots of pets and ear/neck-scratches, to her happiness. I observe that as usual, my cat has not destroyed anything in my house in my absence. We engage in some not-super-strenuous playtime along the lines of me bobbing a fishpole-type toy above her head, ideally while being able to drink a glass of wine at the same time. Then I feed her and talk to her about my day. Finally we retire to the sofa to snuggle and watch TV, and she contentedly purrs on my lap or next to me while I pet her some more.
Based on this ideal, what type/age of cat should I adopt? (I’d love a guide number: Older than 2? Older than 4?) Or should I adopt a cat at all? Since I’ve never had a pet before, I don’t know what’s realistic. Do affection and mellowness commonly co-exist in cats? How do I go about finding a loving, non-hyper feline companion? Pet-experienced Mefites, please help.
P.S. For what it’s worth, in my desire for a pet that could help with depression I was first thinking of adopting an extremely laid-back, older dog, until I accepted that I didn’t have the energy, space, or lifestyle to care for one. But for reference, that was the type of pet I originally imagined: loyal, loving, and extremely chill.
I wish I could open my heart to every cat, but the truth is that I’m looking for certain traits:
1. Because I’m hoping adopting a cat will make me less lonely, I’d like a cat that is affectionate and won’t ignore me. I work 9-5, but I’m a homebody in the evenings, so I think I could be a good friend to a sociable cat as long as she doesn’t need me there 24/7.
2. At the same time, I’m looking for a mellow, calm companion. I struggle with low energy, fatigue, and demotivation (health issues), and I just don’t have the energy to entertain a cat that needs constant play and stimulation. I’m looking for more of a snuggly lap cat than a playful, active cat (and I’m DEFINITELY not looking for a kitten, or even an adult young enough to be chock full of energy).
3. I know that #2 above makes me sound like a perfect candidate to adopt a senior cat, but I’m not sure I’m ready for a very old cat—as a first-timer, I don’t feel equipped for a cat with the health issues that are likely to come with older age (plus the expenses). It would be nice to have a number of healthy adult years together before we get into the challenging health times.
If I could have whatever I wanted, my ideal evening with a cat would look something like this:
I get home and my cat greets me with a friendly meow as I walk in the door. I give her lots of pets and ear/neck-scratches, to her happiness. I observe that as usual, my cat has not destroyed anything in my house in my absence. We engage in some not-super-strenuous playtime along the lines of me bobbing a fishpole-type toy above her head, ideally while being able to drink a glass of wine at the same time. Then I feed her and talk to her about my day. Finally we retire to the sofa to snuggle and watch TV, and she contentedly purrs on my lap or next to me while I pet her some more.
Based on this ideal, what type/age of cat should I adopt? (I’d love a guide number: Older than 2? Older than 4?) Or should I adopt a cat at all? Since I’ve never had a pet before, I don’t know what’s realistic. Do affection and mellowness commonly co-exist in cats? How do I go about finding a loving, non-hyper feline companion? Pet-experienced Mefites, please help.
P.S. For what it’s worth, in my desire for a pet that could help with depression I was first thinking of adopting an extremely laid-back, older dog, until I accepted that I didn’t have the energy, space, or lifestyle to care for one. But for reference, that was the type of pet I originally imagined: loyal, loving, and extremely chill.
Best answer: Go to a shelter and tell them about what you're looking for in a cat and ask them to match you. I've had good luck with adults over about six, but what you're looking for isn't necessarily all about age - some cats love to snuggle from kittenhood, others are definitely not lap cats at any age. I think a cat sounds great for you, probably a mellow middle aged cat who likes a quiet life and wants to be the only cat, but go to the shelter and talk to them!
posted by bile and syntax at 5:22 PM on May 9, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by bile and syntax at 5:22 PM on May 9, 2017 [7 favorites]
You don't have to get a senior cat to get a cat that is laid back rather than hyper, but you probably don't want a kitten because you don't know what they will be like as an adult. Anything over 2 years old or so and you should have a fairly well established personality.
As for your requirements - absolutely affection and mellowness co-exist. So do affection and climbing the curtains, aloofness and mellowness, aloofness and hiding catnip mice in the toilet, and every combination you can imagine.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 5:27 PM on May 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
As for your requirements - absolutely affection and mellowness co-exist. So do affection and climbing the curtains, aloofness and mellowness, aloofness and hiding catnip mice in the toilet, and every combination you can imagine.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 5:27 PM on May 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I've never noticed a pattern between male and female cats. The friendliest cat I've ever owned is a female. The second friendliest is male. The most aloof is male.
I second the advice to talk to the people at the shelter and discuss what you're looking for, because they'll have a better sense of the cats' personalities. What you're asking for isn't that rare, and if they don't have a cat that fits you can try another shelter or wait a while. I actually have the cat you want, but too bad she's mine. :P
I've struggled with depression and I think that as long as you think you'll be able to care for the cat's needs, even if you are having a low time, you'll make a good cat owner. They can be wonderful companions.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:36 PM on May 9, 2017 [6 favorites]
I second the advice to talk to the people at the shelter and discuss what you're looking for, because they'll have a better sense of the cats' personalities. What you're asking for isn't that rare, and if they don't have a cat that fits you can try another shelter or wait a while. I actually have the cat you want, but too bad she's mine. :P
I've struggled with depression and I think that as long as you think you'll be able to care for the cat's needs, even if you are having a low time, you'll make a good cat owner. They can be wonderful companions.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:36 PM on May 9, 2017 [6 favorites]
Best answer: You are *perfect* for adopting an adult cat, 4-6 years old, I'd say. Find a rescue nearby and contact them and tell them exactly what you told us about how you envision your life with your new furry overload to be. They will be able to match you with a great companion. You could also ask if you could start out as a foster for the cat they suggest to make sure all goes well on a trial basis!
GO GET YOUR CAT! :)
posted by CoffeeHikeNapWine at 5:38 PM on May 9, 2017 [12 favorites]
GO GET YOUR CAT! :)
posted by CoffeeHikeNapWine at 5:38 PM on May 9, 2017 [12 favorites]
You've perfectly described life with my cat! Seriously, this is EXACTLY what it's like at my house(except I don't drink wine!).
My lovely cat Phoebe is probably about 3-4 years old, and I adopted her from a shelter in December. She has a lot of play in her but she's beyond the crazy kitten stage. I specifically wanted a cat about 3-5 years old because I love snuggly lap kitties but I also love playing with them. Phoebe loves to play, but she also never lets a lap go empty--in fact, she is napping on my lap right now.
A healthy, indoor cat can easily live at least 12-15 years so I'm planning on spending many years with this sweet girl. I think a 3-4 year old would be great for you. You can absolutely find a cat who loves to snuggle and who also likes to play.
Shelters usually have many older cats--kittens tend to get snapped up while the older ones wait longer to be chosen. That's in your favor! Talk to the staff and let them know what type of personality you're looking for. And be prepared for your new cat to be cautious at first. Be patient and don't feel rejected--many cats take their time getting used to their new surroundings.
Have fun finding your new family member, and be sure to stop back and post a photo!
posted by bookmammal at 5:41 PM on May 9, 2017 [2 favorites]
My lovely cat Phoebe is probably about 3-4 years old, and I adopted her from a shelter in December. She has a lot of play in her but she's beyond the crazy kitten stage. I specifically wanted a cat about 3-5 years old because I love snuggly lap kitties but I also love playing with them. Phoebe loves to play, but she also never lets a lap go empty--in fact, she is napping on my lap right now.
A healthy, indoor cat can easily live at least 12-15 years so I'm planning on spending many years with this sweet girl. I think a 3-4 year old would be great for you. You can absolutely find a cat who loves to snuggle and who also likes to play.
Shelters usually have many older cats--kittens tend to get snapped up while the older ones wait longer to be chosen. That's in your favor! Talk to the staff and let them know what type of personality you're looking for. And be prepared for your new cat to be cautious at first. Be patient and don't feel rejected--many cats take their time getting used to their new surroundings.
Have fun finding your new family member, and be sure to stop back and post a photo!
posted by bookmammal at 5:41 PM on May 9, 2017 [2 favorites]
I pretty much agree with all the previous answers (thought I also would not rule out females). Some shelters will let you sit in a small room with a prospective adoptee cat in order to see how you get along with each other. You can also always visit the shelter and check out the cats in a "just browsing" kind of way: there's no commitment to adopt one right away (until you find one that clicks with you).
posted by heatherlogan at 5:42 PM on May 9, 2017
posted by heatherlogan at 5:42 PM on May 9, 2017
Best answer: I volunteer at a cat shelter. I would say there is definitely a cat out there for you, I've seen tons of em!
I'd say after 3 years cats kind of settle into whatever their personality is going to be, whether that's rambunctious or lazy or anything in between. I don't think age really matters too much after that, and gender doesn't really play a role as far as individual personalities go. It's really just a cat by cat basis.
Most shelters have a website or put their pets on petfinder where you can take a look at the profiles and see if any cats sound like they'd be a good fit. I think you'll be surprised, there are a lot of cats that are exactly the laid-back cat that you're looking for. Usually they'll be described as "mellow", "calm", "cuddly", "lovebug", "needs a quiet/adults only home", that sort of thing. Of course, asking the shelter workers for reccomendations is a great idea, but its nice to know what they have before you get there.
Also do be aware that most cats will have an adjustment period where they transition from going from a chaotic shelter life to getting used to your home routine. Find out what the shelter's policies are as far as answering any questions or troubleshooting with you if anything comes up, and in the worst case scenario find out what the procedure is if you discover the cat isn't a good fit.
posted by Orca at 5:46 PM on May 9, 2017 [6 favorites]
I'd say after 3 years cats kind of settle into whatever their personality is going to be, whether that's rambunctious or lazy or anything in between. I don't think age really matters too much after that, and gender doesn't really play a role as far as individual personalities go. It's really just a cat by cat basis.
Most shelters have a website or put their pets on petfinder where you can take a look at the profiles and see if any cats sound like they'd be a good fit. I think you'll be surprised, there are a lot of cats that are exactly the laid-back cat that you're looking for. Usually they'll be described as "mellow", "calm", "cuddly", "lovebug", "needs a quiet/adults only home", that sort of thing. Of course, asking the shelter workers for reccomendations is a great idea, but its nice to know what they have before you get there.
Also do be aware that most cats will have an adjustment period where they transition from going from a chaotic shelter life to getting used to your home routine. Find out what the shelter's policies are as far as answering any questions or troubleshooting with you if anything comes up, and in the worst case scenario find out what the procedure is if you discover the cat isn't a good fit.
posted by Orca at 5:46 PM on May 9, 2017 [6 favorites]
I know a cat who I think would be a good match for you. If you happen to be in Melbourne, Australia, let me know.
I definitely think adopting an adult cat who is 4 or older would be the way to go. See whether you can spend some time with the cats to get a feel for who is comfortable around you.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 5:53 PM on May 9, 2017
I definitely think adopting an adult cat who is 4 or older would be the way to go. See whether you can spend some time with the cats to get a feel for who is comfortable around you.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 5:53 PM on May 9, 2017
Best answer: Shelters most definitely get to know their cats and some orgs even go so far as to develop written personality profiles for them, because they want a good match. Knowing what you want is great-- a lot of people pick the prettiest kitten only to surrender them once they realize they don't have the time or energy for a kitten, so definitely, good shelter workers will think you're the ideal adopter.
Most cats need some play every day for the exercise and stimulation, and many run around like maniacs for a little bit at night, even the mellow cuddle bugs (and there are lots of those.) But most adult cats are not interested in destroying your house. I got my kitty at 6 months and she's active, but she's never shredded a roll of tp or knocked over my books. Only the most neurotic can't be alone during the workday-- this is prime SNOOZ TIME so they don't care you're at work.
I agree with a 3-6 year old and you'll have your pick of the litter (lol) because older cats don't get adopted as quickly.
Absolutely a million percent, they help with anxiety and depression. They PURR. It's very healing. They are also funny, loving, graceful, goofy, fierce. I find it very easy to keep her fed and in clean litter because I love her, even when I don't want to take care of myself. I'm surprised at how much I love her and how easily she fits into my life (I really fretted before adopting her and honestly for like the first week I was like, what have I done, but now she's my buddy and my heart.)
posted by kapers at 5:53 PM on May 9, 2017 [8 favorites]
Most cats need some play every day for the exercise and stimulation, and many run around like maniacs for a little bit at night, even the mellow cuddle bugs (and there are lots of those.) But most adult cats are not interested in destroying your house. I got my kitty at 6 months and she's active, but she's never shredded a roll of tp or knocked over my books. Only the most neurotic can't be alone during the workday-- this is prime SNOOZ TIME so they don't care you're at work.
I agree with a 3-6 year old and you'll have your pick of the litter (lol) because older cats don't get adopted as quickly.
Absolutely a million percent, they help with anxiety and depression. They PURR. It's very healing. They are also funny, loving, graceful, goofy, fierce. I find it very easy to keep her fed and in clean litter because I love her, even when I don't want to take care of myself. I'm surprised at how much I love her and how easily she fits into my life (I really fretted before adopting her and honestly for like the first week I was like, what have I done, but now she's my buddy and my heart.)
posted by kapers at 5:53 PM on May 9, 2017 [8 favorites]
Oh, and "dog like" is not an uncommon descriptor in cat listings and it means what you say-- mellow, affectionate, loyal, possibly goofy.
posted by kapers at 6:01 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by kapers at 6:01 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
Our cat is honestly a lot like your ideal scenario. He has his quirks (like, he never sits on laps - but he will curl up next to you) and he doesn't rush to greet us when we walk in the door, but, he's definitely both affectionate and mellow. Enjoys a nice low-key dangling toy, plenty of scratches and cuddling, doesn't tear up our house. I absolutely adore him.
He is a neutered male, he was 4 years old when we got him (now he's nearly 7). Our experience was that we went in and told them what we wanted in a cat (basically described the same things you want, and said we did not feel able to have a cat with health issues) and we said we did not want a kitten or an older cat. They were trying to find us a 2 year old but then seemed surprised that we'd be willing to go older than that. I remember the lady saying "I don't supposed you'd be willing to look at a...four year old cat?" to which we were like, sure, of course, that doesn't seem too old for a cat? Hence, we met him and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
There are always risks but what you're describing in your question is like a lot of cats I have known. Go to a good shelter and tell them exactly what you wrote here and I am sure they'll be able to match you.
posted by cpatterson at 6:15 PM on May 9, 2017
He is a neutered male, he was 4 years old when we got him (now he's nearly 7). Our experience was that we went in and told them what we wanted in a cat (basically described the same things you want, and said we did not feel able to have a cat with health issues) and we said we did not want a kitten or an older cat. They were trying to find us a 2 year old but then seemed surprised that we'd be willing to go older than that. I remember the lady saying "I don't supposed you'd be willing to look at a...four year old cat?" to which we were like, sure, of course, that doesn't seem too old for a cat? Hence, we met him and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
There are always risks but what you're describing in your question is like a lot of cats I have known. Go to a good shelter and tell them exactly what you wrote here and I am sure they'll be able to match you.
posted by cpatterson at 6:15 PM on May 9, 2017
Please stop trying to take my cat away from me. As I type, Sherman is curled up tight next to me, purring like a fiend. He is an Olympic-level snuggler and love bug, to the point of sleeping between our pillows so that someone is (hopefully) touching him at all possible moments. He has maybe 10 minutes a day where he goes a little crazy cat, and he can be a little crotchety if he feels dinner is a few minutes late, but otherwise it's snuggles and love all day every day.
We adopted him at age 7.5 (he's 10.5 now and still going strong) from the shelter after his previous owner passed away. He's our first male cat, and I find him much more sociable and loving than the two females we had previously.
posted by spinturtle at 6:20 PM on May 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
We adopted him at age 7.5 (he's 10.5 now and still going strong) from the shelter after his previous owner passed away. He's our first male cat, and I find him much more sociable and loving than the two females we had previously.
posted by spinturtle at 6:20 PM on May 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
My cats are all 6 years old now and they became your ideal cat around age 5. This is also an age that is hard to adopt out because they aren't adorable kittens, but still young enough that you won't have to worry about major health issues for a while.
posted by joan_holloway at 6:32 PM on May 9, 2017
posted by joan_holloway at 6:32 PM on May 9, 2017
Nthing everyone else. Go to a shelter, play with the kitties, talk to the folks there about what you're looking for. Aim for the 3-6 year age, which is by no means a senior citizen. (Housecats typically live about 15 years.)
posted by desuetude at 6:32 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by desuetude at 6:32 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
And I will say something as I guess a full blown cat person now: the cat chooses you. You'll hear this and it's true. Have your parameters of course, but when you meet the one, they'll let you know.
posted by kapers at 6:35 PM on May 9, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by kapers at 6:35 PM on May 9, 2017 [10 favorites]
You have described my cat also. Daeva has her foibles because she's 14 now, but yeah, you can have this cat. You have in fact written a great "catifesto" and I suggest you shop it around your local shelters. Not the humane society, but places like Furkids here in Atlanta, or Good Mews that are shelters run by volunteers and who have cats that they know well. I provide the links on the off chance that you're in the ATL, and failing that, it gives you some parameters/ideas about searching and what you're looking for.
GOOD LUCK. I've had my girl all her life, and she's mellowed out a lot in the last 3-4 years, but her brother was a snugglebug from the get-go, so these cats are out there. They are trainable, and they more or less act like you treat them. So I treat my cat like an extremely convenient dog, and she and I are happy as clams. <3
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:38 PM on May 9, 2017
GOOD LUCK. I've had my girl all her life, and she's mellowed out a lot in the last 3-4 years, but her brother was a snugglebug from the get-go, so these cats are out there. They are trainable, and they more or less act like you treat them. So I treat my cat like an extremely convenient dog, and she and I are happy as clams. <3
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:38 PM on May 9, 2017
Chiming in again to favorite what kapers said--your cat will definitely choose you. I've adopted 3 shelter cats over the years and all 3 times I really didn't have much say in the matter. Each of them made it very clear that they had chosen me. You'll know when your cat picks you!
posted by bookmammal at 6:46 PM on May 9, 2017
posted by bookmammal at 6:46 PM on May 9, 2017
This is my cat, ~2-year-old neutered male, currently curled up in an adorable fluffy ball next to me on the couch where he has been for the past hour. I found him through a rescue org that uses all foster care for pets they take in, so I was able to email back and forth with the person fostering him and learn all about his personality and habits. A foster home is usually a much less stressful environment than a shelter, so you'll get a better sense of your cat's personality from a foster.
posted by capricorn at 6:48 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by capricorn at 6:48 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
Awww you'll be fine. I think a chill pair would be good, because for me at least it really eases the pressure of a single pet household (i first got a dog and cat, together, years ago). Saga aside, it's comforting to know they are there for each other.
I'd tell a good facility what you are looking for. I have also noticed long haired cats are way more chill than short haired cats but that is so anecdotal I hesitate to mention it.
Get two. Bonded pairs are hard to adopt out, but given your constraints find someone on staff who can really help you match to your right pals, who isn't going to just being adopting a number out. You are clear on your emotional needs so make sure they come first in construction your mammal family.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:57 PM on May 9, 2017
I'd tell a good facility what you are looking for. I have also noticed long haired cats are way more chill than short haired cats but that is so anecdotal I hesitate to mention it.
Get two. Bonded pairs are hard to adopt out, but given your constraints find someone on staff who can really help you match to your right pals, who isn't going to just being adopting a number out. You are clear on your emotional needs so make sure they come first in construction your mammal family.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:57 PM on May 9, 2017
I agree with capricorn - many shelters will get to know their cats' personalities and help match you, but shelters with foster programs take it to another level. A lot of cats take a while to bond with people, and many cats who seem aloof at first become total lovebugs when they get used to a new person. A few weeks with a dedicated foster home can help reveal shy cats' lovey sides.
A lot of cats are chill lap cats, so I think you'll find the right one with ease.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:20 PM on May 9, 2017
A lot of cats are chill lap cats, so I think you'll find the right one with ease.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:20 PM on May 9, 2017
Yes, heed all the good advice above and get yourself a cat. A couple of points I don't believe have been mentioned—first, cats scratch, so learn how to trim its nails. This does not need to be as traumatic as it sounds, e.g., my son's cat sits patiently for the process, then runs to the kitchen for her treat/reward. Also, consider your tolerance for cat hair on your clothes, furniture, towels, sheets, along the baseboards—basically, fucking everywhere. Mine is very low, so I favor short-hair cats with silky (rather than fluffy) coats. Get your cat used to being brushed and keep several of those sticky clothes brushes throughout your house.
FYI, I've had a cat (or cats) for most of my adult life. Wally lived to be 18, Dorothy and Jane both lived to 20. I'm sure there's another cat in my future, but we haven't yet met.
posted by she's not there at 7:23 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
FYI, I've had a cat (or cats) for most of my adult life. Wally lived to be 18, Dorothy and Jane both lived to 20. I'm sure there's another cat in my future, but we haven't yet met.
posted by she's not there at 7:23 PM on May 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
Echoing everyone else -- there's definitely a cat for you. I have one that pretty much meets your description. (On the other hand, I also have two that do not - one isn't that friendly, and the other is probably too demanding.) Instead of a shelter, I'd work with a rescue organization, preferably one that fosters their cats in people's homes. Then the foster owners will be able to give you a very good idea of the cat's personality. 3-4+ years or older is probably a good age range. Keep in mind that cats can live well into their teens however - are you prepared for a 10-15 year commitment? Not trying to scare you out of it, just want you to be aware of what you're getting yourself into. And even though you're looking for a youngish-cat - there still are, often unexpected, vet expenses regardless of age. I just spent $250 at the vet for them to tell me to feed my cat more... sigh. It's ok, its most likely a new food allergy... just one of the many things I've dealt with over the years with my "young" cats.
Good luck - and please make sure your first cat question here on askme (after you've found your feline buddy of course) includes a pic!
posted by cgg at 7:29 PM on May 9, 2017
Good luck - and please make sure your first cat question here on askme (after you've found your feline buddy of course) includes a pic!
posted by cgg at 7:29 PM on May 9, 2017
You are describing my cat, if she was a tad more into playing when I got home! She was 4 years old when I got her, and her personality and energy haven't changed (I've had her 5 years).
The most important part of the process for me was talking to the shelter people and meeting a bunch of cats. If the shelter doesn't have a cat that is "your" cat (and yes, you will know) - go to another shelter or go back in a week. Around here, they are constantly getting new cats in with several adoptions daily. (And as for how you know... The previous cat I adopted - Paris - was super comfortable around me when we hung out alone, and after we met and he went back to his cage, kept sticking his paw out and meowing when I was nearby. The cat I have now - Roxie - was the "bathroom" cat. She was terrified of other cats (had only ever been an indoor, only cat) and so they put her in the bathroom with a gate in front of the door to give her some privacy. She was hiding behind the toilet. I went in, closed the door, knelt down, and she came over and jumped on my lap. My little love).
I also think tabbies or black cats are the best. I have never met a black cat who wasn't friendly -- plus, AskMe convinced me to adopt black because they are less adoptable (apparently, people don't want black animals because of superstition and they're hard to photograph!).
posted by DoubleLune at 7:32 PM on May 9, 2017
The most important part of the process for me was talking to the shelter people and meeting a bunch of cats. If the shelter doesn't have a cat that is "your" cat (and yes, you will know) - go to another shelter or go back in a week. Around here, they are constantly getting new cats in with several adoptions daily. (And as for how you know... The previous cat I adopted - Paris - was super comfortable around me when we hung out alone, and after we met and he went back to his cage, kept sticking his paw out and meowing when I was nearby. The cat I have now - Roxie - was the "bathroom" cat. She was terrified of other cats (had only ever been an indoor, only cat) and so they put her in the bathroom with a gate in front of the door to give her some privacy. She was hiding behind the toilet. I went in, closed the door, knelt down, and she came over and jumped on my lap. My little love).
I also think tabbies or black cats are the best. I have never met a black cat who wasn't friendly -- plus, AskMe convinced me to adopt black because they are less adoptable (apparently, people don't want black animals because of superstition and they're hard to photograph!).
posted by DoubleLune at 7:32 PM on May 9, 2017
In addition to asking the shelter folks, I found it really valuable to have an experienced cat loving friend with me. I'd missed the one he pointed out because she was sleeping, but I put her on the short list and we really fell for each other the second time I visited. She is slightly more independent and food-motivated than your ideal but similar.
posted by tchemgrrl at 7:41 PM on May 9, 2017
posted by tchemgrrl at 7:41 PM on May 9, 2017
My cat is basically the cat you describe. She is 5-6 years old. She was very stand-offish until about two years ago, when she started actively seeking us out, greeting us at the door, sitting beside us on the couch all evening, engaging in behaviour that gets her picked up or snuggled etc, and has only been getting snugglier and more mellow with age. Until a couple of years ago, we had daily Enforced Cuddle Time, but she wasn't really into it. Too busy with important cat stuff she had to do elsewhere, I think.
posted by lollusc at 7:45 PM on May 9, 2017
posted by lollusc at 7:45 PM on May 9, 2017
I adopted a 10 year old cat a month or so ago as my first pet (not including family pets growing up), and apart from her age she's exactly what you describe. Very friendly and snuggly (she's on my lap right now), but also seems quite OK on her own if I'm out for the day. I got her from a rescue organisation that uses foster homes rather than shelters, and I'd second the suggestion above to do that if you can find one near you. The carer knew her house habits, and I felt much more confident bringing her home because I had that background from them.
(Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about first-cat-things.)
posted by une_heure_pleine at 7:57 PM on May 9, 2017
(Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about first-cat-things.)
posted by une_heure_pleine at 7:57 PM on May 9, 2017
Best answer: Yes, absolutely you can find The Cat for you! Lots of great advice above. A few thoughts from now a 4 time cat owner.
1) I too recommend an adult cat (not old or kitten, just anywhere inbetween) b/c they'll be just mellow-ed out & b/c you and the shelters will be able to assess their personalities fairly accurately.
2) Shelter volunteers will generally know the cats, and their personalities. They want to pair you with the best cat FOR YOU so that you'll both be happy together. Definitely consider something like an ASPCA that will always "accept" back your cat for that cat's entire lifetime in the event it doesn't work out.
3) Learn about "Feline-ality" -- which is basically a behavioral categorization of cat personalities on boldness & people-friendliness. You probably want the "love bug" or "sidekick" or "personal assistant" type personalities.
4) Online dating!! Lots of shelters post pictures of cats, their ages, and most importantly descriptions of the cats personalities. Read the website and write down a list of cats you want to meet based on how they've been described. Even if a shelter doesn't rigidly categorize cats on "feline-ality", they often use words that'll help you recognize the type of cat they are.
5) Learn how to read "cat". Sorry, back to Feline-ality again, but this time with the actual scoring rubric. Since it sounds like you haven't had a pet or a cat before, read this to learn the types of behaviors cats exhibit that are more "bold" and more "people-friendly." This will help prepare you for how to read the "chemistry" you may or may not have cats you'll meet at the shelter.
For me, if I'm looking for a super snuggle bug, I'm looking for a cat that is curious about me!!! in the first few minutes of meeting me (yes, even in a shelter situation) and kinda sniffs at my fingers or headbutts my hand when I gently reach out a little bit towards their face. And then, I'd do a pet test -- if you pet them, do they seem fine vs. running away or shying away? I know this sounds like a unicorn of a cat, but I've had two cats that are super bold & friendly in the first few minutes of meeting them. One jumped down from their tree and started snuggling my sneakers (best cat ever!, Jayne RIP).
6) Last but not least -- don't rush on getting a cat on the first day you visit a shelter. The cat you're looking for will let you know that it will be your friendly snuggle bun, so if you don't meet cats with the right behavioral profile, don't worry about it. Check back later, or check somewhere else. A cat is a long commitment, and it's okay if you need to "date around" to find the one for you.
7) And, you'll get great information from the shelter, but when you find your cat (and when your cat finds you!), make sure to take them time to introduce them slowly to your dwellings, e.g., confine them first to a room so they can explore. Don't worry about how shy they might be -- some cats really do need quite a bit of time (e.g., weeks) before calming down and feeling like they can really own a place. And, also, don't worry if your cat ends up being shy for a looong time. We had a cat that really did not seem to care for us for like a year, and then one day, it decided, we were okay, and started seeking snuggles and affection, and has been super friendly since, even sleeping next to my pillow at night. :)
Okay -- enough about cats. I absolutely believe you'll be able to find a great cat! And, this great cat will be absolutely lucky to have you as its new cat parent. Just take your time, read the behavior, and don't settle for a cat that isn't bold and friendly on the on-set. The Feline-ality rubric can be used on cats that have been admitted as recently as 18 hours to a shelter, so that first set of cat behaviors you see, are really really telling.
posted by ellerhodes at 8:01 PM on May 9, 2017 [4 favorites]
1) I too recommend an adult cat (not old or kitten, just anywhere inbetween) b/c they'll be just mellow-ed out & b/c you and the shelters will be able to assess their personalities fairly accurately.
2) Shelter volunteers will generally know the cats, and their personalities. They want to pair you with the best cat FOR YOU so that you'll both be happy together. Definitely consider something like an ASPCA that will always "accept" back your cat for that cat's entire lifetime in the event it doesn't work out.
3) Learn about "Feline-ality" -- which is basically a behavioral categorization of cat personalities on boldness & people-friendliness. You probably want the "love bug" or "sidekick" or "personal assistant" type personalities.
4) Online dating!! Lots of shelters post pictures of cats, their ages, and most importantly descriptions of the cats personalities. Read the website and write down a list of cats you want to meet based on how they've been described. Even if a shelter doesn't rigidly categorize cats on "feline-ality", they often use words that'll help you recognize the type of cat they are.
5) Learn how to read "cat". Sorry, back to Feline-ality again, but this time with the actual scoring rubric. Since it sounds like you haven't had a pet or a cat before, read this to learn the types of behaviors cats exhibit that are more "bold" and more "people-friendly." This will help prepare you for how to read the "chemistry" you may or may not have cats you'll meet at the shelter.
For me, if I'm looking for a super snuggle bug, I'm looking for a cat that is curious about me!!! in the first few minutes of meeting me (yes, even in a shelter situation) and kinda sniffs at my fingers or headbutts my hand when I gently reach out a little bit towards their face. And then, I'd do a pet test -- if you pet them, do they seem fine vs. running away or shying away? I know this sounds like a unicorn of a cat, but I've had two cats that are super bold & friendly in the first few minutes of meeting them. One jumped down from their tree and started snuggling my sneakers (best cat ever!, Jayne RIP).
6) Last but not least -- don't rush on getting a cat on the first day you visit a shelter. The cat you're looking for will let you know that it will be your friendly snuggle bun, so if you don't meet cats with the right behavioral profile, don't worry about it. Check back later, or check somewhere else. A cat is a long commitment, and it's okay if you need to "date around" to find the one for you.
7) And, you'll get great information from the shelter, but when you find your cat (and when your cat finds you!), make sure to take them time to introduce them slowly to your dwellings, e.g., confine them first to a room so they can explore. Don't worry about how shy they might be -- some cats really do need quite a bit of time (e.g., weeks) before calming down and feeling like they can really own a place. And, also, don't worry if your cat ends up being shy for a looong time. We had a cat that really did not seem to care for us for like a year, and then one day, it decided, we were okay, and started seeking snuggles and affection, and has been super friendly since, even sleeping next to my pillow at night. :)
Okay -- enough about cats. I absolutely believe you'll be able to find a great cat! And, this great cat will be absolutely lucky to have you as its new cat parent. Just take your time, read the behavior, and don't settle for a cat that isn't bold and friendly on the on-set. The Feline-ality rubric can be used on cats that have been admitted as recently as 18 hours to a shelter, so that first set of cat behaviors you see, are really really telling.
posted by ellerhodes at 8:01 PM on May 9, 2017 [4 favorites]
Are you still near the Twin Cities? We adopted our cat from the Animal Humane Society. They have a policy that you can bring back your adopted animal within the first week, no hard feelings. This did a lot to reassure my husband who had never had a cat before (and who is now our cat's favorite person and a total pushover when it comes to kitty treats btw). Although it's typical for a cat to take a few days to get comfortable in a new home, it's nice to know that in the rare situation, if things were to go really badly, you could bring the cat back and it would be okay.
I think you should go for it! Our cat was about 1 when we adopted her, and at 1 she was still kind of a rowdy "teenager" cat. Somewhere between two and three is when she settled down to be the lazy, snuggly, loving cat she is now. So maybe look for ages two and up. There are a lot of cats out there in shelters and I think you could give one of them a very nice life. Do a bunch of reading first and then go meet some cats!
posted by beandip at 9:13 PM on May 9, 2017
I think you should go for it! Our cat was about 1 when we adopted her, and at 1 she was still kind of a rowdy "teenager" cat. Somewhere between two and three is when she settled down to be the lazy, snuggly, loving cat she is now. So maybe look for ages two and up. There are a lot of cats out there in shelters and I think you could give one of them a very nice life. Do a bunch of reading first and then go meet some cats!
posted by beandip at 9:13 PM on May 9, 2017
I would aim for a cat at least 3 or 4 years old, probably 4 to be on the safe side. You can go a bit older than that and still not have a "senior cat". For applications (often they'll ask what age cat you're interested in), maybe give them a range of 4-8 years old or so. This doesn't have to be a set in stone, but it's a good guide. And you should have a good range of cats to choose from, because I think a lot of people want kittens or cats in the 1-2 year old age range.
FWIW, I adopted my wonderful kitty Basil about 6 months ago, and he sounds very similar to your ideal cat. He's 4 years old now (based on the rescue's best guess of his age). He was shy and timid when I first met him, but we bonded very quickly once I got him home, and now he spends most of his time curled up next to me (or on top of me). We usually have a ~15 minute play session each evening, where he chases after the fish pole style toys, sometimes more often/longer if he's really feeling his oats that day.
I also make sure he has lots of other options for entertaining himself. You'll want at least one cat condo, as well as a bunch of toy mice/jingly balls to bat around. He's also a big fan of these puzzle toys. (We have this one and this one and this one and also a rolly ball like this.) Get a few different kinds of toys at first, and then you'll get a sense for what your kitty enjoys. I got him those puzzle toys because I noticed he was always trying to open drawers or bat at things underneath dressers/cabinets/etc. I fill up the puzzle toys with some treats before I go to bed or off to work, so that he can entertain himself when I'm not around.
In terms of your day-to-day schedule, it sounds a lot like mine (I spend most of my non-work time chilling at home, too). Basil is always really excited to see me when I come home (he spends about 10 minutes greeting me as soon as I walk in the door), but he also doesn't seem torn up when I'm not around. Like most cats, he spends a significant portion of the day sleeping. Lots of cats are loving and affectionate, but they're still generally pretty good at being independent, as long as it's balanced out with time spent bonding with their human.
Adopting my kitty was one of the best things I've done for my general sanity and happiness. I bet whichever kitty you adopt will do the same for you. There may be an adjustment period, but I think cats who have been in shelters are often really grateful to have a nice loving home.
posted by litera scripta manet at 9:26 PM on May 9, 2017 [2 favorites]
FWIW, I adopted my wonderful kitty Basil about 6 months ago, and he sounds very similar to your ideal cat. He's 4 years old now (based on the rescue's best guess of his age). He was shy and timid when I first met him, but we bonded very quickly once I got him home, and now he spends most of his time curled up next to me (or on top of me). We usually have a ~15 minute play session each evening, where he chases after the fish pole style toys, sometimes more often/longer if he's really feeling his oats that day.
I also make sure he has lots of other options for entertaining himself. You'll want at least one cat condo, as well as a bunch of toy mice/jingly balls to bat around. He's also a big fan of these puzzle toys. (We have this one and this one and this one and also a rolly ball like this.) Get a few different kinds of toys at first, and then you'll get a sense for what your kitty enjoys. I got him those puzzle toys because I noticed he was always trying to open drawers or bat at things underneath dressers/cabinets/etc. I fill up the puzzle toys with some treats before I go to bed or off to work, so that he can entertain himself when I'm not around.
In terms of your day-to-day schedule, it sounds a lot like mine (I spend most of my non-work time chilling at home, too). Basil is always really excited to see me when I come home (he spends about 10 minutes greeting me as soon as I walk in the door), but he also doesn't seem torn up when I'm not around. Like most cats, he spends a significant portion of the day sleeping. Lots of cats are loving and affectionate, but they're still generally pretty good at being independent, as long as it's balanced out with time spent bonding with their human.
Adopting my kitty was one of the best things I've done for my general sanity and happiness. I bet whichever kitty you adopt will do the same for you. There may be an adjustment period, but I think cats who have been in shelters are often really grateful to have a nice loving home.
posted by litera scripta manet at 9:26 PM on May 9, 2017 [2 favorites]
Finally we retire to the sofa to snuggle and watch TV, and she contentedly purrs on my lap or next to me while I pet her some more.
And then you make eye contact with her and you see that she sees you and something inside you warms and melts and for the first time in a long time you feel a soul connection with another sentient being.
Gracie (4yrs when I got her) and the good advice from metafilter have changed my life.
posted by Thella at 12:57 AM on May 10, 2017 [3 favorites]
And then you make eye contact with her and you see that she sees you and something inside you warms and melts and for the first time in a long time you feel a soul connection with another sentient being.
Gracie (4yrs when I got her) and the good advice from metafilter have changed my life.
posted by Thella at 12:57 AM on May 10, 2017 [3 favorites]
Seconding to consider getting a pair and here's why: first, it's harder for shelters to find homes for bonded pairs. The neatest thing about pairs is generally one will be a bit more affectionate: it will immediately be your lap friend, your skritch-needer, your head-butting purrbox, your screen-blocker. The other one will not be as needy.
But. When the second cat comes over also needing pets and snuggles, it's like winning the lottery.
Also, watching the two of them romp and play can be wicked entertaining. Maybe not to the pattycake-playing cat level, but still, they can put on a heck of a show.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:24 AM on May 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
But. When the second cat comes over also needing pets and snuggles, it's like winning the lottery.
Also, watching the two of them romp and play can be wicked entertaining. Maybe not to the pattycake-playing cat level, but still, they can put on a heck of a show.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:24 AM on May 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Get in contact with your local shelter/rescue and see what they recommend - when I was searching for my perfect fluff last year, I had a younger adult cat in mind. But when the rescue suggested this particular cat, who ticked all my boxes (calm, mellow, affectionate) but was having trouble being adopted due to her age of 11 -- I met her and instantly fell in love. You have an image in your head of your ideal cat, but don't let that restrict you too much.
Best of luck!
posted by Gordafarin at 3:05 AM on May 10, 2017
Best of luck!
posted by Gordafarin at 3:05 AM on May 10, 2017
If you're within a couple hours of St Louis, memail me. I may have your cat.
posted by a moisturizing whip at 6:50 AM on May 10, 2017
posted by a moisturizing whip at 6:50 AM on May 10, 2017
I adopted this cat (well, maybe a litttttle more velco than you want, he sleeps right next to my head every night).
He was 3-5, and I knew I wanted him because when we met in a private room at the ASPCA he was friendly and affectionate and purring, but with no aggression or play biting or anything. His sole love in life is laps. Which is what I needed as a depressed 20 year old.
Now, there's always risks. And many cats are not their best selves in shelters, or have some anxiety to work through. So YMMV and you need to be ready for whatever you game plan is if you don't get a cat who meets your requirements.
posted by sazerac at 7:26 AM on May 10, 2017
He was 3-5, and I knew I wanted him because when we met in a private room at the ASPCA he was friendly and affectionate and purring, but with no aggression or play biting or anything. His sole love in life is laps. Which is what I needed as a depressed 20 year old.
Now, there's always risks. And many cats are not their best selves in shelters, or have some anxiety to work through. So YMMV and you need to be ready for whatever you game plan is if you don't get a cat who meets your requirements.
posted by sazerac at 7:26 AM on May 10, 2017
. I give her lots of pets and ear/neck-scratches, to her happiness. I observe that as usual, my cat has not destroyed anything in my house in my absence. We engage in some not-super-strenuous playtime along the lines of me bobbing a fishpole-type toy above her head, ideally while being able to drink a glass of wine at the same time. Then I feed her
Agree with everyone else that you're totally cat-ready, but this is the only part of your scenario I question -- the amount of time that goes by between you walking in the door and the cat getting fed. Every cat I've ever had, including the two lovely 10-year-old sisters I have now, wants that dinner the MINUTE I walk in the door. They greet me, yes, but it's more like HIWELOVEYOUWHEREISDINNERWHEREISDINNERWHEREISDINNER. You may want to adjust your timetable a little bit . . . .
posted by JanetLand at 7:29 AM on May 10, 2017
Agree with everyone else that you're totally cat-ready, but this is the only part of your scenario I question -- the amount of time that goes by between you walking in the door and the cat getting fed. Every cat I've ever had, including the two lovely 10-year-old sisters I have now, wants that dinner the MINUTE I walk in the door. They greet me, yes, but it's more like HIWELOVEYOUWHEREISDINNERWHEREISDINNERWHEREISDINNER. You may want to adjust your timetable a little bit . . . .
posted by JanetLand at 7:29 AM on May 10, 2017
There's a broad spectrum from adult (2yr) to "mature" (4-6) to "senior" (10-12) to "geriatric". Most cats don't start having age-related health issues until they're 12 or so, many not until 15-18+. For you I'd aim in the 3-5yr range.
We got our cat from the shelter, at age 2-3. She sounds like exactly what you want, she is the most perfect snuggly cat in the world in my opinion, and now that she's getting on up there (age 13 now) one of the things that worries me most is how any future cat will be able to compare to her, and how we'd ever find another with her type of love-additction. One thing that stood out to me at the shelter was that when we sat down with her in the get-to-know-you room, she wanted to see/smell the room, but would dart back and forth between investigating things and coming back to us for more attention, seemed like a healthy balance.
posted by aimedwander at 7:52 AM on May 10, 2017
We got our cat from the shelter, at age 2-3. She sounds like exactly what you want, she is the most perfect snuggly cat in the world in my opinion, and now that she's getting on up there (age 13 now) one of the things that worries me most is how any future cat will be able to compare to her, and how we'd ever find another with her type of love-additction. One thing that stood out to me at the shelter was that when we sat down with her in the get-to-know-you room, she wanted to see/smell the room, but would dart back and forth between investigating things and coming back to us for more attention, seemed like a healthy balance.
posted by aimedwander at 7:52 AM on May 10, 2017
Nthing a slightly older cat as others have said. I agree about Siamese mostly but our Burmese male is the chillest cat ever. He plays once or twice a day but otherwise is content to just sleep on my lap/bed/whatever flat surface he can find.
(IOW, as others have said, cats can be all over the place.. but I think most shelters will work with what you want for personality)
posted by getawaysticks at 10:10 AM on May 10, 2017
(IOW, as others have said, cats can be all over the place.. but I think most shelters will work with what you want for personality)
posted by getawaysticks at 10:10 AM on May 10, 2017
Response by poster: Thanks to all for the thoughtful and often helpfully specific advice! I especially appreciated the lack of judgment regarding my limitations: I feel guilty about being picky, but I just want to find a good match for both the cat and me (I do realize my "ideal" scenario might not happen exactly as described—that's OK!).
I went to my local shelter but unfortunately had a pretty negative experience (unfriendly, indifferent-ranging-to-hostile cats; bored-seeming shelter volunteer confirmed the cats there are pretty antisocial), so I think I'm going to try the advice of working with a foster rescue org next. Thanks again for the encouragement!
posted by honey wheat at 11:44 AM on May 11, 2017
I went to my local shelter but unfortunately had a pretty negative experience (unfriendly, indifferent-ranging-to-hostile cats; bored-seeming shelter volunteer confirmed the cats there are pretty antisocial), so I think I'm going to try the advice of working with a foster rescue org next. Thanks again for the encouragement!
posted by honey wheat at 11:44 AM on May 11, 2017
I feel guilty about being picky
As far as I'm concerned, being picky is a point in your favor. Much better to have a clear idea about what you want and the patience to wait until you find the right cat than to risk an unhappy experience or rehoming. Your cat is likely to be around for many years (as I mentioned above, 2 of mine lived to 20), so it only makes sense to give this careful consideration.
I'm sorry things didn't go well at the shelter. Best of luck with the rescue group. There are a lot of cats out there—you'll find yours eventually.
posted by she's not there at 9:37 PM on May 13, 2017
As far as I'm concerned, being picky is a point in your favor. Much better to have a clear idea about what you want and the patience to wait until you find the right cat than to risk an unhappy experience or rehoming. Your cat is likely to be around for many years (as I mentioned above, 2 of mine lived to 20), so it only makes sense to give this careful consideration.
I'm sorry things didn't go well at the shelter. Best of luck with the rescue group. There are a lot of cats out there—you'll find yours eventually.
posted by she's not there at 9:37 PM on May 13, 2017
All shelters are not created equal - the first cat I adopted was at the 3rd shelter I visited. The first 2 shelters were dirty, kitties were sick, and the volunteers were not interested in helping me. The 3rd was great - well kept area, lots of volunteers and a private area to get to know the cat. These were all within half hour of each other, so if you have another shelter nearby, it's still an option! Maybe give them a call ahead of time to see if it's worth your time visiting (in terms of asking if they have any cars that meet your requirements).
posted by DoubleLune at 12:16 PM on May 15, 2017
posted by DoubleLune at 12:16 PM on May 15, 2017
Response by poster: I thought I'd update with the resources and information I ended up finding most helpful, for anyone who reads this thread in the future looking for similar information. I learned the most about cat personalities by reading about the ASPCA's Feline-alities system (recommended above by ellerhodes; thank you!) in combination with the Way of Cats blog's system of Cat Types.
(In fact, I learned so much that I realized I'd been looking for the wrong type of cat for me! The kind I described as my ideal in my post was what Feline-alities would call a "Love Bug" and what Way of Cats would probably call a Gamma. But after reading those resources, and meeting a lot of cats at a shelter, I realized that what I actually needed was a "Personal Assistant," or what Way of Cats would call a Beta and a Supervisor. At least I know now!)
Unfortunately I still haven't adopted a cat, but that's another question for another time. Good luck to any future cat seekers who see this question, and hope it helps!
posted by honey wheat at 2:55 PM on June 3, 2017
(In fact, I learned so much that I realized I'd been looking for the wrong type of cat for me! The kind I described as my ideal in my post was what Feline-alities would call a "Love Bug" and what Way of Cats would probably call a Gamma. But after reading those resources, and meeting a lot of cats at a shelter, I realized that what I actually needed was a "Personal Assistant," or what Way of Cats would call a Beta and a Supervisor. At least I know now!)
Unfortunately I still haven't adopted a cat, but that's another question for another time. Good luck to any future cat seekers who see this question, and hope it helps!
posted by honey wheat at 2:55 PM on June 3, 2017
« Older Antigua, Guatemala, Spanish classes and related... | Best email newsletter practices 2017 for retail... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you adopt from a rescue, they will work with you -- describe the kind of cat you want and they will help match one to you. The rescue will want the match to be successful. I would also suggest avoiding any cat that has any Siamese in it, even a mix. Even a hint of Siamese should be avoided -- those are high energy cats. Just look for a basic domestic shorthair (i.e. a mutt) male cat 2+ years old that the rescue says is chill.
posted by OrangeDisk at 5:21 PM on May 9, 2017 [15 favorites]