I feel like I've lost my Mojo
December 5, 2016 1:31 AM Subscribe
A long and stressful relationship with many break ups has left me feeling like I've lost myself. I'd like some advice on how to find myself again.
I have written about my on/off relationship before so I'm not writing for advice on that, suffice to say I largely ignored the very good advice I was given because I was, and am, still in love with the person who treated me fairly shabbily. 'What's different this time?' I hear you ask. Well after being given the silent treatment again for over a month for a perceived slight from me, I managed to end it myself when she got back in touch a few weeks ago by telling her I didn't want to see her anymore because of all the previous dumpings and silent treatments over trivial reasons and her general hot and cold behaviour. She got very nasty and abusive with me and texted some awful things, which though I ignored really hurt. I blocked her on my phone and email (things I'd never been able to do before).
But now I'm dealing with the emotional fall out which I've been through many times and I just feel that I've given up far too much headspace to this relationship over the last seven years and it's been to my detriment. Many of the passions I had before have suffered because of it and I want to get them back. I still keep fit and have recently given up alcohol for two months. But I'm half hearted in other areas of my life. I'm a freelance cartoonist and I've lost a few jobs over last couple of years. This can happen in the cartooning business, but in the past I'd have worked hard to make new contacts and produce new work. This has fallen by the wayside and I'm just going through the motions at the moment. I've also developed weird obsessional habits like constantly spending time on my smartphone and looking up articles related to my current situation, trying to somehow reassure myself and assuage my self doubts. I look at online dating websites to see if she is on it. I don't know why, but I know it will hurt like hell if I see her on one (which did happen once before in one of our 'breaks'). I also obsess over the relationship and keep replaying stuff in my mind.
I dabbled with some online dating as a distraction recently but I wasn't feeling it so I quit.
Has anybody been through this and what did you do to get over it, move on and get your life back?
I'm 52 with grown up sons and I feel like I'd like to truly move on and be happy even though I still love this person who clearly has no love for me.
I have written about my on/off relationship before so I'm not writing for advice on that, suffice to say I largely ignored the very good advice I was given because I was, and am, still in love with the person who treated me fairly shabbily. 'What's different this time?' I hear you ask. Well after being given the silent treatment again for over a month for a perceived slight from me, I managed to end it myself when she got back in touch a few weeks ago by telling her I didn't want to see her anymore because of all the previous dumpings and silent treatments over trivial reasons and her general hot and cold behaviour. She got very nasty and abusive with me and texted some awful things, which though I ignored really hurt. I blocked her on my phone and email (things I'd never been able to do before).
But now I'm dealing with the emotional fall out which I've been through many times and I just feel that I've given up far too much headspace to this relationship over the last seven years and it's been to my detriment. Many of the passions I had before have suffered because of it and I want to get them back. I still keep fit and have recently given up alcohol for two months. But I'm half hearted in other areas of my life. I'm a freelance cartoonist and I've lost a few jobs over last couple of years. This can happen in the cartooning business, but in the past I'd have worked hard to make new contacts and produce new work. This has fallen by the wayside and I'm just going through the motions at the moment. I've also developed weird obsessional habits like constantly spending time on my smartphone and looking up articles related to my current situation, trying to somehow reassure myself and assuage my self doubts. I look at online dating websites to see if she is on it. I don't know why, but I know it will hurt like hell if I see her on one (which did happen once before in one of our 'breaks'). I also obsess over the relationship and keep replaying stuff in my mind.
I dabbled with some online dating as a distraction recently but I wasn't feeling it so I quit.
Has anybody been through this and what did you do to get over it, move on and get your life back?
I'm 52 with grown up sons and I feel like I'd like to truly move on and be happy even though I still love this person who clearly has no love for me.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry, but this is repetitive of earlier questions -- taz
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