Help me deal with being perma-single
December 7, 2015 5:34 PM Subscribe
I've been single for far too long. Dates are very rare and lead nowhere.
Help me accept I'm undisireable and forget romance once and for all.
I'm not sure what the problem is. In real life (Ask Metafilter is where I feel safe to let my insides show...) I am an affable, easy going sort of fella who has many friends and is up to many things. I play music, I do creative things, I'm social. I work very hard, though I don't earn much.
I'm intelligent and witty. I'm empathetic. I have style...I dress well. I'm in great shape. I'm 42 and straight, for the record.
My life is devoid of romance. I can never get a gal interested in me. It's extremely hard to get dates, and when I do, there is never a second one. Good conversation, stories, laughs, so on...but she isn't attracted.
I have a reasonably large social circle: most are coupled, and those who are single date often successfully. But I'm THAT GUY, the one who always solo, who can never get a date. I'm the guy who never has a girlfriend, and can be counted on for it.
It's humiliating. This is very embarrassing, because I really am lonely. I long for contact, I want to kiss and be kissed, I want to hold hands.
And I hate to admit this, but I would like to have sex too...once in a while at least.
I wish I could know what the problem is. I know I'm not very good looking. I've never in my entire life been called handsome, cute, hot or any similar terminology. I try to make up for it by being genuine, funny, stylish etc. I guess it's not enough?
I just wish...I just wish.
I just wish someone would like me in that way.
I've never felt desired, wanted. Craved.
Loved.
Not once in my life have I ever heard the words: I love you.
Anyway, I'm not asking for dating advice here. I've tried everything and nothing works. I'm obviously undisireable and that's that.
I don't want to hear "hang in there, keep trying" anymore. I've hung in there and kept trying and it's been years now.
(Just to be clear, I do not feel entitled. Absolutely no one owes me anything; I just hoped I too could enjoy the pleasures of romance, that's all.)
I need to know how to give up on it and move on.
How can I kill off my longing for companionship?
How can I be OK with never feeling love?
I'm not sure what the problem is. In real life (Ask Metafilter is where I feel safe to let my insides show...) I am an affable, easy going sort of fella who has many friends and is up to many things. I play music, I do creative things, I'm social. I work very hard, though I don't earn much.
I'm intelligent and witty. I'm empathetic. I have style...I dress well. I'm in great shape. I'm 42 and straight, for the record.
My life is devoid of romance. I can never get a gal interested in me. It's extremely hard to get dates, and when I do, there is never a second one. Good conversation, stories, laughs, so on...but she isn't attracted.
I have a reasonably large social circle: most are coupled, and those who are single date often successfully. But I'm THAT GUY, the one who always solo, who can never get a date. I'm the guy who never has a girlfriend, and can be counted on for it.
It's humiliating. This is very embarrassing, because I really am lonely. I long for contact, I want to kiss and be kissed, I want to hold hands.
And I hate to admit this, but I would like to have sex too...once in a while at least.
I wish I could know what the problem is. I know I'm not very good looking. I've never in my entire life been called handsome, cute, hot or any similar terminology. I try to make up for it by being genuine, funny, stylish etc. I guess it's not enough?
I just wish...I just wish.
I just wish someone would like me in that way.
I've never felt desired, wanted. Craved.
Loved.
Not once in my life have I ever heard the words: I love you.
Anyway, I'm not asking for dating advice here. I've tried everything and nothing works. I'm obviously undisireable and that's that.
I don't want to hear "hang in there, keep trying" anymore. I've hung in there and kept trying and it's been years now.
(Just to be clear, I do not feel entitled. Absolutely no one owes me anything; I just hoped I too could enjoy the pleasures of romance, that's all.)
I need to know how to give up on it and move on.
How can I kill off my longing for companionship?
How can I be OK with never feeling love?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey there, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but this kind of "help me give up" question doesn't really work on AskMe. -- LobsterMitten
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