How do I get my boss to finally remove me from a project?
June 25, 2015 8:38 PM Subscribe
I was assigned to project teams at work that are pulling me away from my core responsibilities. My boss agrees that I shouldn't be on these teams but he hasn't firmly re-assigned someone else. I want off! But how do I get him to make that final decision?
At work I was assigned to be part of some crossfunctional teams, for the past year. While the teams are interesting to be on, they have little to do with my day-to-day responsibilities, and are disruptive to my workflow because of the number of meetings and prep work required for them. Frankly, I also don't have enough knowledge of the topics to contribute anything of substance to these teams and am often just sitting there like a rock!
On the few occasions I've skipped these meetings, the team lead reprimanded me for this, so just plain not going doesn't seem to be an option. (I suppose he likes the sound of my quiet breathing during these meetings?)
Several times in the past few months, I expressed these concerns to my manager and asked him if I can be removed from the teams. He agreed and even said that a couple of my co-workers are better suited to take my place... The issue is that he hasn't actually pulled me off the teams and reassigned someone. He mentions that he has to talk to someone else about it, and to wait a couple of weeks, another couple of weeks. But these delays have happened a few times.
I think this is partially due to his cautious nature and maybe he thinks I have the capacity to continue being on these teams... I really don't have that capacity (knowledgewise and especially timewise). He also thinks the teams are a waste of time, so maybe he doesn't want to offer up anyone else's time.
How do I get him to finally pull the trigger on this?
At work I was assigned to be part of some crossfunctional teams, for the past year. While the teams are interesting to be on, they have little to do with my day-to-day responsibilities, and are disruptive to my workflow because of the number of meetings and prep work required for them. Frankly, I also don't have enough knowledge of the topics to contribute anything of substance to these teams and am often just sitting there like a rock!
On the few occasions I've skipped these meetings, the team lead reprimanded me for this, so just plain not going doesn't seem to be an option. (I suppose he likes the sound of my quiet breathing during these meetings?)
Several times in the past few months, I expressed these concerns to my manager and asked him if I can be removed from the teams. He agreed and even said that a couple of my co-workers are better suited to take my place... The issue is that he hasn't actually pulled me off the teams and reassigned someone. He mentions that he has to talk to someone else about it, and to wait a couple of weeks, another couple of weeks. But these delays have happened a few times.
I think this is partially due to his cautious nature and maybe he thinks I have the capacity to continue being on these teams... I really don't have that capacity (knowledgewise and especially timewise). He also thinks the teams are a waste of time, so maybe he doesn't want to offer up anyone else's time.
How do I get him to finally pull the trigger on this?
I'd probably be more direct than even that. He's given you more work than you have time to do. The solution to this is always asking your boss to prioritize the work for you.
"I cannot get [JOB RESPONSIBILITY X] done and go to [STUPID MEETING Q] today, which would you prefer I prioritize?"
Then, when he says to prioritize X, email the meeting team lead and let that person know that you won't be attending the meeting because your boss has given you a more pressing obligation.
This is not your problem to solve directly, but you do have to surface the choices to your boss so he can see what choices he's inadvertently making now.
If the issue isn't time and it's just that you don't want to go to these meetings, I'd go with something like DarlingBri's answer.
posted by toomuchpete at 10:00 PM on June 25, 2015 [10 favorites]
"I cannot get [JOB RESPONSIBILITY X] done and go to [STUPID MEETING Q] today, which would you prefer I prioritize?"
Then, when he says to prioritize X, email the meeting team lead and let that person know that you won't be attending the meeting because your boss has given you a more pressing obligation.
This is not your problem to solve directly, but you do have to surface the choices to your boss so he can see what choices he's inadvertently making now.
If the issue isn't time and it's just that you don't want to go to these meetings, I'd go with something like DarlingBri's answer.
posted by toomuchpete at 10:00 PM on June 25, 2015 [10 favorites]
It sounds like your boss hates confrontation. What you need to do is confront him more so the alternative of talking to whomever he needs to talk to is easier for him than dealing with you.
posted by inturnaround at 10:59 PM on June 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by inturnaround at 10:59 PM on June 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I had this problem once, and when asking didn't do the trick, I Told. I wrote an email to all concerned going into great detail about the official timeline of my main project (which was already tight) and adding up the hours required to attend stupid and pointless meetings of my contracting company (which meetings were with people I otherwise never saw and about projects I had zero to to with). I concluded that mathematically these do not add up and I will not be attending daily contractor meetings anymore. That did the trick.
Your boss is being a shitty manager. It's not about his cautious nature, it's about him being focused elsewhere and not really caring much about your concerns. You have to get in his face about it and insist upon being heard.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 12:11 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Your boss is being a shitty manager. It's not about his cautious nature, it's about him being focused elsewhere and not really caring much about your concerns. You have to get in his face about it and insist upon being heard.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 12:11 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Disagree with toomuchpete. You're a professional and you know your job. You already know that you do not have time to attend these meetings and that they are not high priority anyway. I don't think being obsequious and pretending your boss can prioritize better than you can is behaviour becoming of a professional.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 12:15 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mysterious_stranger at 12:15 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mysterious stranger, your comment assumes that the OP is allowed to prioritise his own time and act accordingly. If this was the case, he would already not be attending the meetings as he knows they're pointless. What he needs to do is show his boss this because he's the only one who can get him out of them. I actually think toomuchpete's response is great because it highlights the OPs time constraints and forces the boss to choose. I'm not sure how it's obsequious? I kinda thought it was pointing out something fairly straightforward?
posted by Jubey at 1:37 AM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Jubey at 1:37 AM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
Another way to be a bit more push-y is, when you raise this with the boss again, ask him explicitly who he thinks can do it (you can make this a bit less blunt by saying you need someone as a backup for holiday or sick time) and then try to suggest a handover schedule.
I agree there's some point of resistance to doing this in the bosses mind, so if you can reduce this to a simple next action for your boss you will make it much easier for them to action it.
posted by crocomancer at 2:15 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
I agree there's some point of resistance to doing this in the bosses mind, so if you can reduce this to a simple next action for your boss you will make it much easier for them to action it.
posted by crocomancer at 2:15 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Why were you assigned to the cross-functional teams? At some stage either somebody from those teams has requested your presence - or somebody from outside them (your boss?) has asked that you be put on them. This might have been political box checking, it might have been have been empire building on the part of whoever manages the cross-functional teams, or it might have been set up as an educational opportunity for you. You mention that the work on the cross-functional teams is "interesting" but that you "don't feel you have the knowledge" for them. That sounds like an educational assignment to me.
Once you have worked out - or just remembered - why you were assigned then you can follow the instructions toomuchpete suggests. But you can also add in a little more telling them how the gap in your training, or their project, is going to be filled.
posted by rongorongo at 2:22 AM on June 26, 2015
Once you have worked out - or just remembered - why you were assigned then you can follow the instructions toomuchpete suggests. But you can also add in a little more telling them how the gap in your training, or their project, is going to be filled.
posted by rongorongo at 2:22 AM on June 26, 2015
Jubey, I wasn't "allowed" either according to the supervisor at my contracting co, but if you read my little story there, forcing the issue was what finally helped. I don't think professionals should be treated as children, nor think of themselves as children who are or aren't allowed to do something eminently reasonable.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 3:49 AM on June 26, 2015
posted by mysterious_stranger at 3:49 AM on June 26, 2015
Oh, I think you're right about not being treated like children. Unfortunately, a lot of workplaces don't want their staff making their own decisions. You're lucky that the place you were at could see the sense in what you put forward but I've worked at some companies where if I'd sent an email out like yours, I wouldn't be invited back. I think the OP basically has to figure out what their boss is like and if that approach would go down well. Otherwise, being a bit more diplomatic might be the way to go. It comes down to personality.
posted by Jubey at 4:51 AM on June 26, 2015
posted by Jubey at 4:51 AM on June 26, 2015
The issue here is that putting someone else on the team in your place is not your problem. Staffing that team is your manager's problem, or the team lead's problem, or someone else entirely's problem. You have been told by your manager that you don't need to be on that team. That is the exact end of your involvement with the team.
Stop going to team meetings. When the team lead comes to your desk to yell at you, say, "My manager says I [don't need to be on that team | need to work on this other project | some other excuse that reflects what your manager said about being on that team]. You'll have to talk to him about who will replace me -- there's his office, right over there."
Make your manager do his job.
posted by Etrigan at 5:00 AM on June 26, 2015 [5 favorites]
Stop going to team meetings. When the team lead comes to your desk to yell at you, say, "My manager says I [don't need to be on that team | need to work on this other project | some other excuse that reflects what your manager said about being on that team]. You'll have to talk to him about who will replace me -- there's his office, right over there."
Make your manager do his job.
posted by Etrigan at 5:00 AM on June 26, 2015 [5 favorites]
Best answer: So I've been in this situation as an employee but some of the discussions are triggering my identification with a manager. From your post it doesn't seem your job, sure, but it's not necessarily anyone else's job in your group either. And if it's no one's job, then it's someone's job. Your manager sounds like they're being a wimp about it, but their job is in fact to pass on the crap assignments to someone.
What you've got is an argument that it interferes with your main job, and an agreement from them to get someone else to do it. The second one is great, especially if they are procrastinating just because they don't want to give bad news to someone else. Do the direct approach again, and this time ask for a date when you can stop going. Pull out a calendar and nail something down. If you'r not sure this is enough send an e-mail announcing your departure right after the meeting, saying you're too busy to keep contributing and will be naming someone else to fill after that date.
If your boss demurs, I'd play the fairness card--you had a commitment, you're being asked to go above and beyond is this make-work thing, and it's been a year. You're a trooper but you feel you've given more than enough on this one. Even if the result is that the boss says, sorry, can't find anyone else, this approach should buy you more consideration the next time something like this comes up.
posted by mark k at 6:55 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
What you've got is an argument that it interferes with your main job, and an agreement from them to get someone else to do it. The second one is great, especially if they are procrastinating just because they don't want to give bad news to someone else. Do the direct approach again, and this time ask for a date when you can stop going. Pull out a calendar and nail something down. If you'r not sure this is enough send an e-mail announcing your departure right after the meeting, saying you're too busy to keep contributing and
If your boss demurs, I'd play the fairness card--you had a commitment, you're being asked to go above and beyond is this make-work thing, and it's been a year. You're a trooper but you feel you've given more than enough on this one. Even if the result is that the boss says, sorry, can't find anyone else, this approach should buy you more consideration the next time something like this comes up.
posted by mark k at 6:55 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks everyone for the replies, very helpful. Instead of asking him for the umpteenth time, I'm going to make a last ditch effort on this and basically tell my manager I can't be a part of these meetings anymore due to adcdxyz other commitments . key words being... I can't!
posted by watrlily at 6:23 PM on June 26, 2015
posted by watrlily at 6:23 PM on June 26, 2015
Sounds like you have come up with a good approach. Get your manager to reiterate (preferably in writing) his agreement that you do not have to attend these meetings. If he doesn't put it in writing, then follow up with an e-mail saying "as agreed on XX date, I will no longer be participating in this project." Then, when the next meeting invitation comes, reply that you will no longer be attending on instructions of your manager. If the team leader objects, he can take it up with your boss. At that point, it is not your problem anymore.
posted by rpfields at 2:08 AM on June 27, 2015
posted by rpfields at 2:08 AM on June 27, 2015
I'm more with rongorongo here. Keep in mind this is just my experience, but I'm going to be a little contrarian:
This is what your career taking off looks like. If you're an X who is being asked to do more cross-functional, abstract, higher level things, that is a good sign. It doesn't ultimately matter if you're the best X and were chosen on purpose, or if they just had to include an X and you got the short straw. This is your educational opportunity AND networking opportunity AND experience-building all wrapped into one and handed to you with a bow on it. It's how you make the leap from "watrlily, the X" to watrlily the well-known, well-liked, super-knowledgeable person who could do anything. Your career branches off from here in any number of possible ways if you play your cards right.
Embrace these side functions and get good at them - no more sitting there ineffectively in meetings. If you can't do that and X at the same time start asking for help/reassignment of X, not the other thing. Phase yourself out of your "real" job.
Or keep fighting it, I guess, but I think that's a mistake unless you just love X and that's all you want to ever do.
posted by ctmf at 10:48 AM on June 27, 2015
This is what your career taking off looks like. If you're an X who is being asked to do more cross-functional, abstract, higher level things, that is a good sign. It doesn't ultimately matter if you're the best X and were chosen on purpose, or if they just had to include an X and you got the short straw. This is your educational opportunity AND networking opportunity AND experience-building all wrapped into one and handed to you with a bow on it. It's how you make the leap from "watrlily, the X" to watrlily the well-known, well-liked, super-knowledgeable person who could do anything. Your career branches off from here in any number of possible ways if you play your cards right.
Embrace these side functions and get good at them - no more sitting there ineffectively in meetings. If you can't do that and X at the same time start asking for help/reassignment of X, not the other thing. Phase yourself out of your "real" job.
Or keep fighting it, I guess, but I think that's a mistake unless you just love X and that's all you want to ever do.
posted by ctmf at 10:48 AM on June 27, 2015
Frankly, I also don't have enough knowledge of the topics
Then get it. Set up your own meetings with key people for teaching you 101-level stuff outside the main meetings. Ask for a temporary assignment for a week or a month to another department - worst they can say is no. Basically, BE the representative they asked you to be and make them hold you back instead of making them lead you by the hand.
Yeah, it'll take even more time away from your X duties. You're forcing them to choose, because they aren't going to want to say "we want you to do this other thing, but please be shitty at it for lack of effort."
posted by ctmf at 11:01 AM on June 27, 2015
Then get it. Set up your own meetings with key people for teaching you 101-level stuff outside the main meetings. Ask for a temporary assignment for a week or a month to another department - worst they can say is no. Basically, BE the representative they asked you to be and make them hold you back instead of making them lead you by the hand.
Yeah, it'll take even more time away from your X duties. You're forcing them to choose, because they aren't going to want to say "we want you to do this other thing, but please be shitty at it for lack of effort."
posted by ctmf at 11:01 AM on June 27, 2015
I don't think being obsequious and pretending your boss can prioritize better than you can is behaviour becoming of a professional.
This isn't really the point at all. It's not that your boss is better at it, it's that it's his job to do it. I wouldn't say "Oh poor me, I can't possibly make this decision all by my little old self!"
Sure, you can make your own decisions if you want, but I don't like assuming that I know more than my boss does. There might be issues at play that I don't know about and me deciding about priorities myself could end up making me or others look bad. In other words: if you decide to do your boss's job for him, you'd better be right. That's more risk than I'm comfortable with for zero gain.
posted by toomuchpete at 11:30 AM on June 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
This isn't really the point at all. It's not that your boss is better at it, it's that it's his job to do it. I wouldn't say "Oh poor me, I can't possibly make this decision all by my little old self!"
Sure, you can make your own decisions if you want, but I don't like assuming that I know more than my boss does. There might be issues at play that I don't know about and me deciding about priorities myself could end up making me or others look bad. In other words: if you decide to do your boss's job for him, you'd better be right. That's more risk than I'm comfortable with for zero gain.
posted by toomuchpete at 11:30 AM on June 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
While the teams are interesting to be on, they have little to do with my day-to-day responsibilities, and are disruptive to my workflow because of the number of meetings and prep work required for them. Frankly, I also don't have enough knowledge of the topics to contribute anything of substance to these teams. Pursuant to our previous exchanges on this issue, I am formally requesting removal from external team functions.
If he says he'll come back to you in a few weeks, send a follow-up email that says "Great, thanks; I'll calendar this for follow-up in two weeks if we've not resolved it before then."
Basically: be very clear in your communications, follow up, and be persistent.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:40 PM on June 25, 2015 [2 favorites]