Why don't boarding schools produce emotionally disabled adults?

March 24, 2015 1:04 AM

What do boarding schools do to compensate for the emotional support students would receive from their parents if they lived at home during high school? What are the shortcomings of the boarding school model in this respect? Do educators and administrators at private college-preparatory boarding schools recognize that separation from parents during one's adolescence can place a child at risk of developing serious emotional problems?

Boarding schools spend tons of money developing and implementing their curriculums. God knows they can throw resources at athletic programs at the arts. They probably have nutritionists to make sure the students have a healthy diet. But what do they do about their students' emotional needs, especially since they are absent from their parents and families at a critical time in their development?


My experience at a prestigious East Coast boarding school in the '70s was a disaster from which I still recovering. This was decades before social media when the only link with home was the pay phone i the basement and the US mail.

In hindsight, the problem boils down to neglect by adults and indifference or hostility from the students. Of the two, the breakdown of the in-loco-parentis role was the more serious.

There was no meaningful, effective or adult presence in my life. No adult was there to do the sort of things parents to: ask me how my day went, provide encouragement, listen to my problems, nothing.

I developed a terribly negative self image and dysfunctional coping skills that I have been overcoming for years.

I realize that teens in our society are expected to become autonomous, but there's a difference between giving kids room to grow and abandoning them to the savagery and indifference of their peers.

posted by ADave to Education (1 answer total)

I think it all depends on the individual and their families. For example: I was never even as a child a very family oriented person. Some of that was my own natural independence and some of it was the fact that my parents were actually a very discouraging influence for me. I spent much of my childhood trying to get as far away from them as I could and failing in my attempt. The happiest I ever was in my childhood was when I was away at camp where the only contact with them would be phone (which I lied to them about and claimed had a waiting list so I wouldn't have to speak to them) and via letter...which I only sent when my mother complained I wouldn't write her.

Some kids are more attached to their family and the idea of family than others. I remember at camp there were a couple of kids who were severely distraught over not being able to call their parents every day... I looked at them and couldn't understand why they were like that. But the reality was that their parents were similar to mine in that- in both cases parents didn't bother to get to know their child well enough to know what their needs were.
posted by rancher at 1:25 AM on March 24, 2015