Why am i responsible for my life?
February 1, 2015 12:28 AM Subscribe
Why is my happiness (only) my responsibility? I didn't ask to be born (as goes the cliche...)
I'm tired of striving, of doing things that I don't want to just so that I won't have a more unpleasant life. I didn't ask for this, and I wish that I didn't have it.
I should say that materially, I can't ask for more - I love my family and they me, I have lots of friends, I'm in the graduate school of my choice, etc. But I'm finding that none of it matters, or at least not more than that I'll miss it if its gone. I've tried quite hard for happiness, but it doesn't seem to work.
A few questions, then --
1. Why shouldn't I kill myself? If my happiness is my responsibility and I find it impossible, why won't the people I love (and love me) accept that?
2. Why isn't it my parents' responsibility to make me happy? I would not be unhappy if not for them (because I wouldn't exist); and they are realistically the only people responsible for my presence, hence unhappiness. It basically seems like a company that mistakenly pollutes an area - they didn't mean to do it but it's their responsibility nonetheless. I know that some people think that once a child becomes an adult, they assume responsibility for their life - but I don't understand how or why that responsibility is required. I feel that I can only be responsible for commitments I've made.
3. Why do people seem to think that working hard is a moral imperative? I don't want to work, and I can't figure out why that's wrong in light of what I wrote above.
I should say, probably, that I've been in therapy for a long time. It doesn't really help, and I've seen a number of people. I am interested however in the reasoning behind the answers to these questions.
Thanks.
I'm tired of striving, of doing things that I don't want to just so that I won't have a more unpleasant life. I didn't ask for this, and I wish that I didn't have it.
I should say that materially, I can't ask for more - I love my family and they me, I have lots of friends, I'm in the graduate school of my choice, etc. But I'm finding that none of it matters, or at least not more than that I'll miss it if its gone. I've tried quite hard for happiness, but it doesn't seem to work.
A few questions, then --
1. Why shouldn't I kill myself? If my happiness is my responsibility and I find it impossible, why won't the people I love (and love me) accept that?
2. Why isn't it my parents' responsibility to make me happy? I would not be unhappy if not for them (because I wouldn't exist); and they are realistically the only people responsible for my presence, hence unhappiness. It basically seems like a company that mistakenly pollutes an area - they didn't mean to do it but it's their responsibility nonetheless. I know that some people think that once a child becomes an adult, they assume responsibility for their life - but I don't understand how or why that responsibility is required. I feel that I can only be responsible for commitments I've made.
3. Why do people seem to think that working hard is a moral imperative? I don't want to work, and I can't figure out why that's wrong in light of what I wrote above.
I should say, probably, that I've been in therapy for a long time. It doesn't really help, and I've seen a number of people. I am interested however in the reasoning behind the answers to these questions.
Thanks.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey, sorry, but this is more of a discussion prompt than a specific concrete question that Ask Metafilter can answer (and questions about suicide are against the guidelines). Please contact us or check out the FAQ if you'd like more info. -- taz
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posted by yoyo_nyc at 12:35 AM on February 1, 2015