Why isn't there a boarding school survivors movement in the U.S.?

January 5, 2015 10:56 PM

In the 19th century, the East Coast elite founded boarding college preparatory schools for their young based an a centuries-old British tradition. A number of support organizations have sprung up in Britain to assist people in overcoming the harm they suffered at these schools. Granted, the institution has a longer history in the UK than on this side of the pond; children younger than ten were sent away to Public Schools; and the some students did suffer emotional and physical abuse at the hands of their classmates, the faculty and administration. I spent the final two years of secondary school at one of the prominent New England prep schools in the early '70s. I was neglected by my dorm housemaster and other members of the faculty and administration who were acting in loco parentis, so not once did any adult check in with me to ask whether I was happy or needed help with problems. . As it happened, I needed plenty of help, because the students weren't friendly to me, a transfer student into the third year and I didn't get the time of day from them. What I received instead was the wrong kind of attention from three bullies in my dorm who just loved harassing me. The students were cliquish back biters. There was a clear Lord of the Flies feel to student life. If you were a soccer, ice hockey or lacrosse jock, you received plenty of adult face time, and the many budding policy wonks got a good in with the faculty. I fell through the cracks and didn't thrive. How can a boarding school model work? How can it be a sound environment for adolescents, who do not have their parents around to demonstrate unconditional love and help their children through the hard times? I stopped reading the alumni mag decades ago because I was tired of reading about people who were born on third base but we're delighted to claim credit for hitting homers. I think perhaps one factor why there's not a prep,scoop survivors' movement in the US is that the kids who attend are, unlike me, very well socialized members of the One Percent. Those kids romped through boarding school, went on to the elite colleges that serve their class, and have never looked back. It's not the done thing to criticise your upbringing or your early education. But if anyone has experiences or insights along the lines of mine, please let me know.
posted by ADave to Society & Culture