Several months ago a friend killed himself. Is suicide ever permissible?
November 27, 2014 4:58 PM Subscribe
He suffered chronic physical pain. I want to understand this ethical issue as much as I can. Much more inside.
Someone I know recently killed himself. He was only 25, and he was a very smart man. More than smart, he was warm and kind and understanding. But he suffered through a lot of pain. He had family problems (like the rest of us), and he also had some weird undiagnosed neurological problem. I mean that he had abnormal spinal curvature which he told me would often put in profound pain and discomfort. The doctors he had access to never helped me out with it, but I suspect he never pursued their help aggressively enough.
I remember that he told me that he suspected he had some incurable illness/disorder that would almost certainly get worse as he grew older. He told me that its onset was already obvious to him. Beyond the spinal problems, he he was increasingly dealing with visual problems -- vision becoming spottier, twitchy eyes, decreasing ability to visually focus.
The letter he left says that he loved life and he wanted people to live it fully -- but he felt that he had inherited a bad hand of genetic cards, so to speak, and that he didn't want to live his life in increasing pain and discomfort.
It's been several months since this happened. I've mostly healed. I'm not angry at all. I'm still sad about it, of course. I tear up thinking about him. What's strange is that I still feel like I hardly knew him -- but whatever little of him I did know is enough for me to say that I love him -- or loved him -- or whatever.
My question is this. Is suicide ever right? Should people in tremendous physical pain have the prerogative to sign out, so to speak? I can't blame my friend for doing what he did -- I just wish he didn't have to be this way. Which brings me to ask -- do you think it would be right to monitor abnormal genetic variations in embryos in the future, so as to limit as much suffering as possible in this life? I know we're in ethics territory here -- maybe y'all can direct me to other resources on this topic?
Someone I know recently killed himself. He was only 25, and he was a very smart man. More than smart, he was warm and kind and understanding. But he suffered through a lot of pain. He had family problems (like the rest of us), and he also had some weird undiagnosed neurological problem. I mean that he had abnormal spinal curvature which he told me would often put in profound pain and discomfort. The doctors he had access to never helped me out with it, but I suspect he never pursued their help aggressively enough.
I remember that he told me that he suspected he had some incurable illness/disorder that would almost certainly get worse as he grew older. He told me that its onset was already obvious to him. Beyond the spinal problems, he he was increasingly dealing with visual problems -- vision becoming spottier, twitchy eyes, decreasing ability to visually focus.
The letter he left says that he loved life and he wanted people to live it fully -- but he felt that he had inherited a bad hand of genetic cards, so to speak, and that he didn't want to live his life in increasing pain and discomfort.
It's been several months since this happened. I've mostly healed. I'm not angry at all. I'm still sad about it, of course. I tear up thinking about him. What's strange is that I still feel like I hardly knew him -- but whatever little of him I did know is enough for me to say that I love him -- or loved him -- or whatever.
My question is this. Is suicide ever right? Should people in tremendous physical pain have the prerogative to sign out, so to speak? I can't blame my friend for doing what he did -- I just wish he didn't have to be this way. Which brings me to ask -- do you think it would be right to monitor abnormal genetic variations in embryos in the future, so as to limit as much suffering as possible in this life? I know we're in ethics territory here -- maybe y'all can direct me to other resources on this topic?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey sorry, this is kind of too chatty and open-ended as it stands. If you want to refine it towards resources to help understand or something more specific you had in mind, let us know and we can reinstate it. -- mathowie
I believe people have the right to end their lives if that is what they want to do. Many people end pregnancies that involve children who will never survive, or if they do, their lives will be extremely difficult. I don't have a problem with that.
posted by Dolley at 5:10 PM on November 27, 2014
posted by Dolley at 5:10 PM on November 27, 2014
Or to put it another way, a lot of questions become much simpler when you reverse them or look at the effects of the opposite action. Should he be forced to live his life with rapidly degenerating health?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:10 PM on November 27, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:10 PM on November 27, 2014 [6 favorites]
Modern medicine does not do a very good job of treating chronic musculoskeletal and neurological pain. Effective treatment is often beyond the reach of very experienced practitioners and dedicated patients working together co-operatively, even when the patient has extensive financial and social resources. Experienced practitioners and vast resources are in short supply. Don't assume your friend didn't try hard enough to get help, that is a bit of blame the victim language.
I recommend the documentary "How to die in Oregon" on Netflix to work through some of the ethical issues on suicide. We as a society are not at a place yet to universally accept suicide for the terminally ill, let alone the terminally suffering. Personally I believe society's beliefs on this will have to change in the next two generations as the health care system crumbles under its own weight. I would like the right to choose suicide if my chronic pain and suffering degraded my quality of life to the same degree as your friend's.
Tread lightly on genetic screening. Terminating a pregnancy should always be the mother's choice.
posted by crazycanuck at 5:12 PM on November 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
I recommend the documentary "How to die in Oregon" on Netflix to work through some of the ethical issues on suicide. We as a society are not at a place yet to universally accept suicide for the terminally ill, let alone the terminally suffering. Personally I believe society's beliefs on this will have to change in the next two generations as the health care system crumbles under its own weight. I would like the right to choose suicide if my chronic pain and suffering degraded my quality of life to the same degree as your friend's.
Tread lightly on genetic screening. Terminating a pregnancy should always be the mother's choice.
posted by crazycanuck at 5:12 PM on November 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Yes. We have the right to live our lives as we wish, and we have the right to minimize pain and suffering. Suicide, absent mental illness causing it, is the logical extension of those rights.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:08 PM on November 27, 2014 [5 favorites]