Sketchy people aim to make it seem I'm doing stuff I'm not, & more. WtD?
November 1, 2014 10:13 AM Subscribe
I moved to the city, and for now am living off savings, enjoying the intellectual perks of urban culture. I lead a fairly monastic life, but people who seem sketchy consistently turn up when I'm out, encroaching on my personal space as if there's a transaction or communication going on. And a whole lot of other strange, disorienting stuff. More inside.
Maybe it's to bully, or maybe it's to tar the people I WANT to interact with, via social network ties. Or maybe some of them think I'm in the same biz they are, as snatches of designed-to-be-overheard dialogue suggest this. Should I let the police know that this is going on and that I want no part of it? Or are they likely the ones behind it, for monitoring reasons? (And would a conversation like that, detailing interactions of suspicious persons, paint me as an informant, which might also be the intended goal.) The times I have talked to the police, in an informal toe-in-the-water kind of way, I've gotten go-see-a-shrink responses.
That's far from all, let's just say there is all sorts of increasingly bizarre shit that's been going on, for an extended period. I need a secure base, both physically and socially, but instead I have what feels like someone assiduously blocking and scraping away any efforts I can make to form authentic human connections, someone who may want me for a pawn. And I'm not sure of my internet access either. Or my phone.
I'm in the bay area, the east bay. Anonymous because I also see, on mefi, what seem like questions aimed to winkle out my identity, and when I comment online under my real name, the trolls come out. Any help, which could include recommending a shrink, would be great. I've got some pretty major trust issues at this point, so ties to genuine bricks-and-mortar would help.
(Also, Metafilter admins, could you please consider implementing a secure connection for anonymous queries?)
Maybe it's to bully, or maybe it's to tar the people I WANT to interact with, via social network ties. Or maybe some of them think I'm in the same biz they are, as snatches of designed-to-be-overheard dialogue suggest this. Should I let the police know that this is going on and that I want no part of it? Or are they likely the ones behind it, for monitoring reasons? (And would a conversation like that, detailing interactions of suspicious persons, paint me as an informant, which might also be the intended goal.) The times I have talked to the police, in an informal toe-in-the-water kind of way, I've gotten go-see-a-shrink responses.
That's far from all, let's just say there is all sorts of increasingly bizarre shit that's been going on, for an extended period. I need a secure base, both physically and socially, but instead I have what feels like someone assiduously blocking and scraping away any efforts I can make to form authentic human connections, someone who may want me for a pawn. And I'm not sure of my internet access either. Or my phone.
I'm in the bay area, the east bay. Anonymous because I also see, on mefi, what seem like questions aimed to winkle out my identity, and when I comment online under my real name, the trolls come out. Any help, which could include recommending a shrink, would be great. I've got some pretty major trust issues at this point, so ties to genuine bricks-and-mortar would help.
(Also, Metafilter admins, could you please consider implementing a secure connection for anonymous queries?)
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is looking like something that needs medical help rather than Internet help, and the anonymity issue is confusing. Please contact us if you want to discuss it. Thanks. -- restless_nomad
For what it's worth, when/if you repost this anonymously it would be helpful to include examples of what people say/do when they encroach on your space, and examples of comments on MeFi that seem to be trying to find out your identity.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:21 AM on November 1, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:21 AM on November 1, 2014 [12 favorites]
For future reference, if you have "Use secure browsing?" checked in your user preferences, the anonymous question form uses HTTPS.
posted by dorque at 10:23 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by dorque at 10:23 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
This sounds really difficult for you and like you're having a lot of distress. You sound scared and stressed--anyone would be in this situation. I'm very sorry this is happening to you.
It sounds like you want to see a psychiatrist, which sounds like a good idea to me. NAMI is a very good, trusted organization. Here is a list of their urgent care resources in the San Francisco area. I linked the urgent care resources because it seems like you are in a very, very difficult situation, and like you could use immediate support.
posted by one more robot at 10:24 AM on November 1, 2014 [34 favorites]
It sounds like you want to see a psychiatrist, which sounds like a good idea to me. NAMI is a very good, trusted organization. Here is a list of their urgent care resources in the San Francisco area. I linked the urgent care resources because it seems like you are in a very, very difficult situation, and like you could use immediate support.
posted by one more robot at 10:24 AM on November 1, 2014 [34 favorites]
Additionally, a good "brick and mortar" place to get help might be an emergency room, if you are feeling too stressed about using the phone. Again, this sounds really scary and I am sorry that this is happening to you. I wish I had more specific resources to point you to, but I do not live in the Bay Area.
posted by one more robot at 10:31 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by one more robot at 10:31 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Often, there are county-level services that can help with support and case-management -- basically, someone to help you sort through what's going on. It looks like the number for Alameda County would be 1-800-491-9099. If you're in Berkeley or Albany, it's 510-981-5290. I'd give them a call and see if they have services that can help you.
I also agree with the suggestion to find family and friends that you do trust and see if they can offer some guidance and support. They could also call those numbers up there for you.
posted by jaguar at 10:35 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
I also agree with the suggestion to find family and friends that you do trust and see if they can offer some guidance and support. They could also call those numbers up there for you.
posted by jaguar at 10:35 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
Oh, and those numbers I just posted should also help link you up with a psychiatrist, even if you don't have health insurance.
If you're worried that people are going to hurt you, or that you might hurt someone else or hurt yourself, then I would definitely head to the closest emergency room, or call 911 and have them come pick you up.
posted by jaguar at 10:37 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]
If you're worried that people are going to hurt you, or that you might hurt someone else or hurt yourself, then I would definitely head to the closest emergency room, or call 911 and have them come pick you up.
posted by jaguar at 10:37 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]
This sounds really frightening. I'm so, so sorry.
If I were in your position, and the police had refused to help me, I would go to a safe place and ask to speak to someone about protecting myself. Please consider going to a hospital emergency room and telling them you're living in fear for your safety and ask if there is a trained medical professional who could help advocate for you with the proper authorities.
You need and deserve some help with this. No one should have to live in fear this way.
Good luck and peace to you.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 11:04 AM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
If I were in your position, and the police had refused to help me, I would go to a safe place and ask to speak to someone about protecting myself. Please consider going to a hospital emergency room and telling them you're living in fear for your safety and ask if there is a trained medical professional who could help advocate for you with the proper authorities.
You need and deserve some help with this. No one should have to live in fear this way.
Good luck and peace to you.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 11:04 AM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
Please see a psychiatrist or psychologist as soon as possible, including accessing emergency services. This sounds very stressful and uncomfortable.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 11:05 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by c'mon sea legs at 11:05 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Please don't take any suggestions that you seek mental health counselling as dismissing or minimising your fears. Nothing could be further from the truth.
What you need right now is a source of stability and reality from which to assess the things that are happening to you. Psychiatry can provide that. Its goal is not to convince you that the things happening to you aren't real, but to sort out what, exactly, is happening to you, and then to find ways to deal with it. You need a kind and objective outside source to help you figure out how and why this is happening.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:09 AM on November 1, 2014 [29 favorites]
What you need right now is a source of stability and reality from which to assess the things that are happening to you. Psychiatry can provide that. Its goal is not to convince you that the things happening to you aren't real, but to sort out what, exactly, is happening to you, and then to find ways to deal with it. You need a kind and objective outside source to help you figure out how and why this is happening.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:09 AM on November 1, 2014 [29 favorites]
Listen to showbiz_liz. The people who are recommending you talk to a doctor have your best interests at heart. You should listen to them.
posted by Justinian at 11:23 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 11:23 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
When I'm in my most strange and disoriented state, I find it important to question whether hypotheses I'm coming up with are falsifiable or not. Some times, the only clue I have that I'm not quite thinking rationally is that I've added together a bunch of ideas that all seem plausible, but which I've gravitated towards because they're the ones which aren't disprovable.
posted by Sockpuppet Liberation Front at 11:25 AM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Sockpuppet Liberation Front at 11:25 AM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Nthing showbiz_liz: my concern is for your well-being. Frankly, you sound in serious need of a "trusted anchor", someone you can talk to, that you know is going to be straight with you.
If you dont have a friend or family member you can count on, you may want to consider selecting a psychiatrist or even an ER at random from the phone directory.
posted by doctor tough love at 11:49 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
If you dont have a friend or family member you can count on, you may want to consider selecting a psychiatrist or even an ER at random from the phone directory.
posted by doctor tough love at 11:49 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Your new examples don't lessen the applicability of urging you to talk to a doctor, they really strengthen it. If you read the article about how Mefi helps people sometimes then I urge you to consider that maybe that's what is happening here as well.
posted by Justinian at 11:51 AM on November 1, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 11:51 AM on November 1, 2014 [11 favorites]
Thank you for sharing specifics.
I really think you should go to the nearest ER and tell them exactly as you have here what's been going on. Please go now, today. You need support.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 11:56 AM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
I really think you should go to the nearest ER and tell them exactly as you have here what's been going on. Please go now, today. You need support.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 11:56 AM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
This question seems beyond the scope of askme.
posted by Melismata at 12:02 PM on November 1, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 12:02 PM on November 1, 2014 [9 favorites]
Your specific examples reinforce the need to be seen. I am worried for you. Please see a mental health professional; they can help you sort through what makes sense and what does not.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 12:04 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by c'mon sea legs at 12:04 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
A close family member began telling stories that sounded very much like what you just wrote. Especially that some people had picked up information from her/him they couldn't possibly have known, and about by-passers making somehow meaningful sounds.
He did need help, and he did get help.
May I in the kindest but most urgent manner possible suggest that you talk to a doctor within the next few hours?
posted by Namlit at 12:04 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
He did need help, and he did get help.
May I in the kindest but most urgent manner possible suggest that you talk to a doctor within the next few hours?
posted by Namlit at 12:04 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
The kinds of things that happen include a distressed looking individual coming into earshot and reciting, word for word, something I'd said in the privacy of my home, months earlier. Two people by the sidewalk, as I walk by, making the noise that I made to talk to a pet bird, with no one else around.
You need to see a health professional immediately. It is likely that your perceptions are not adhering to reality which is not your fault but needs to be addressed. Best of luck.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
You need to see a health professional immediately. It is likely that your perceptions are not adhering to reality which is not your fault but needs to be addressed. Best of luck.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Would just like to chime in and say: please find someone professional to talk to as soon as physically possible. Based on your question history, it seems like you have grave concerns about trust and safety, and it would be a very good idea to talk to someone to evaluate both how much these concerns are congruent with reality, and how to order your life so you can feel more secure.
Please note that neither I nor anyone else giving you this advice is judging you. We are concerned for your safety and well-being, and the things you have said indicate that you may be reacting out of proportion. You also may not be! But the best way to figure that out is to find a mental health professional as soon as possible; they are trained to help people align their thoughts and behaviours with reality if they are out of alignment, and how to adjust thoughts and behaviours to feel safe.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:20 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Please note that neither I nor anyone else giving you this advice is judging you. We are concerned for your safety and well-being, and the things you have said indicate that you may be reacting out of proportion. You also may not be! But the best way to figure that out is to find a mental health professional as soon as possible; they are trained to help people align their thoughts and behaviours with reality if they are out of alignment, and how to adjust thoughts and behaviours to feel safe.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:20 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Baeria, don't focus too much about getting the best recommendation; at this stage, prioritise the immediacy of the problem over the specifics of the solution. Get yourself down to the ER, tell them what you've told us, and they'll be able to guide you to the help you need. At this stage, even a fairly average psychiatrist will be able to help you to get a handle on what it is you're experiencing. Once the ball is rolling, by all means seek out recommendations for someone to help you to deal with things in the longer term. But right now, the priority should be talking with someone (anyone) qualified to help you to sort out the real from the not-real.
posted by pipeski at 12:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 12:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
I'd encourage you to think on what thisandthat wrote in the first reply to your question. You sound as if you've got a very large number of experiences all pressing on your mind at once, and the best way to get strategies for dealing with what you're experiencing is definitely going to be finding someone to talk to about them all.
Talking to someone when you're in this level of distress is the only route feeling safe, so I'd be one more person recommending you go to ER to find someone to talk to about this. Whoever you talk to will definitely assess how to remove any dangers at your home as well as giving you strategies to find somewhere you feel safe. Please take these services which are available for everyone who is in as much distress as you are.
posted by ambrosen at 12:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
Talking to someone when you're in this level of distress is the only route feeling safe, so I'd be one more person recommending you go to ER to find someone to talk to about this. Whoever you talk to will definitely assess how to remove any dangers at your home as well as giving you strategies to find somewhere you feel safe. Please take these services which are available for everyone who is in as much distress as you are.
posted by ambrosen at 12:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
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posted by Thisandthat at 10:21 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]