I don't have to pee on a stick
October 16, 2014 3:53 PM   Subscribe

I'm not pregnant. We're not trying. We agreed to not try for a bit for $reasons. But God damn does it hurt to not be pregnant.

We're not trying for a baby - I travel too much with my job right now, we're in the middle of house renovations, I want to lose weight before trying based on all the studies linking overweight mothers to a myriad of issues, we're running a marathon in 6 months, etc etc etc

But I wanted to be pregnant, so badly wanted to have an "oops." The reasons we aren't trying are valid and rational and I agree to them. We even have a date when we ARE going to start trying.

But I can't shake the feeling of wanting a baby NOW! There was a possibility I was pregnant after a wedding reception and way too many drinks, but it is clear now I am not. Other than sitting in a bar and eating sushi (two things I won't be able to do when knocked up) What can I do to kick the sorrow of not being of the family persuasion?

To stave off relationship questions - yes the dear husband and I have talked about it extensively. No - pushing up our "trying" date isn't an option. He is loving and understanding and supportive - but again - for $reasons - the date we start trying will remain the same.

I just need to get out of this rut and the overwhelming feeling of sorrow I feel every time I change a tampon.

So Mefites - what can I do to shut down this period pity party?
posted by Suffocating Kitty to Human Relations (5 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: poster's request -- cortex

 
The only way out is through.

You're feeling sorrow, because in the short term, your decision (made carefully and deliberately!) is not what you want.

Push through it. You'll get to that point you want, where you can start trying for real.

Distract yourself, training for your marathon and everything else you want to do. Focus on your other goals.
posted by RainyJay at 4:06 PM on October 16, 2014


Adopt a dog. Take said dog on long walks or runs daily. This will help with your need to nurture something small and cute, and also with your desire to lose weight.

And then when it IS time for a baby, you'll have a dog to take all sorts of cute baby+dog pictures and videos with.

PS - you can totally sit in a bar while pregnant, as long as it's clear you're not drinking alcohol. ;)
posted by erst at 4:08 PM on October 16, 2014


- Make a meal without worrying about stepping on a tiny person
- Take a walk and think about all the things you don't have to remember to leave the house with
- Look at your living space. Do you see any toys? No? Savor it. TREASURE IT.
- Decide on a whim to do something. Anything.
- Go for a long drive and enjoy the sound of the music, idle chatter and nothing else
- Call up some friends you haven't seen in a while (without kids) and just ask them come over. Just because.They probably will and you will probably have fun. BONUS POINTS if you do this after 9PM.

etc, etc
posted by Tevin at 4:09 PM on October 16, 2014


Make a bucket list of all the things you want to do before baby, and have fun crossing them off.

Seriously, everything about your life will change when you have a baby. You're putting that off for right now, so discover the things you'll miss most once they're gone (or on hold) and enjoy the heck out of them now. Ask friends with babies what they miss most.

Things like getting bagels on a Sunday and relaxing in bed with the crossword. Sleeping in. Getting frisky when you feel like it. Quiet time. Going out with friends. Alone time. Traveling light and spontaneously.
posted by rikschell at 4:11 PM on October 16, 2014


I went through the same thing for the five years when my husband and I were trying.

Have a progestogen coil fitted. No possibility of an "oops" = no false hope; and, if you're lucky, no periods = no reminder.
posted by Perodicticus potto at 4:18 PM on October 16, 2014


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